Deep Blue Secret (21 page)

“Were you very close to your family?” I asked thoughtfully. “Do you miss them?”

He looked down and nodded. “Um, yeah. Of course. I miss them a lot.”

I stared until he met my gaze. “It’s because of me, isn’t it…You don’t have time to see them because of
me
.”

He shook his head in disbelief and tried to make his voice sound light. “No. Don’t even worry about that. I knew the demands of my chosen career, long before I even knew who you were. It has nothing to do with you.”

I wasn’t completely convinced, but I could feel I was making him uncomfortable. The air in the car was starting to feel heavier than I’d meant for it to.

I pulled out a light, teasing tone. “So do you think I’ll ever get to meet them?”

“Who? My
family
?” he asked surprised.

I laughed. “Yes your
family
…”

“I’d say the chances of that are almost zero.”

“Oh fine, be that way,” I joked.

“You know, we should probably get going,” Rayne said, putting the car gear in drive. I don’t want to make you late for school.”

If I could stay in his car and continue this conversation all day long, I would be happy.

“It’s my first day back since the accident,” I said. “If I’m a little late, I’m sure my teacher would let it slide.”

He ignored my attempt at persuasion and pressed the button on the garage opener, causing the large door to crank upward.

I respected my old Honda and its longevity, but I could definitely get used to riding in a Range Rover. We coasted so smoothly down my street that Rayne could probably hear the birthday pancakes gurgling in my stomach. I wrapped my arms around my middle just in case.

Even though his car was fancy, it was rugged too. It was an SUV after all. I decided the Range Rover was a good fit for Rayne. They were both outdoorsy—and kind of magical at the same time.

“Do you have the necklace on today?” he asked.

I pulled up on the chain nestled under my sweater. “It’s right here.”

“It looks prettier when you can see it,” he said.

“I know, but it feels safer if I keep it under my shirt.”

He smiled. “If you have any problems today, no matter what it might be, I want you to contact me through the diary. I should be in the neighborhood if you need me.”

I liked feeling his concern, but it didn’t seem necessary; and I still didn’t get why I couldn’t just call or text. Was there someone out there screening our phones or something?

“Why would I have any problems? I’m just going to school,” I said.

“You were so ill yesterday that you fainted, remember?”

I rolled my eyes. “I know, I know.” I didn’t like talking to him about my apparent physical and emotional
issues
.

He took a bottle of water from the cup holder and handed it to me. “Drink this throughout the day. The Healing Water mixed in should keep you from getting sick. And be sure to keep the necklace on; that should help too.”

“
That’s
why you gave me the necklace?”

Did I just say that out loud? I meant to keep it to myself. So it was just another way to keep me from getting sick? To protect his assignment?

 “No,” he said, sounding hurt. “That just happens to be a nice perk of wearing it.”

My face flushed. “Oh.”

I looked away sheepishly and changed the subject. “So are you picking me up after school or should I find a ride?”

“I’ll pick you up. We can drive over to the shop together and pick up your car.”

“Okay,” I said. “But I’ll have to go home after that. My mom’s off work so we’re hanging out all night.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to spend some time together,” I said. “But beware; she wants to meet you when you drop me off.”

He glanced over at me. “That should be fine.”

“Are you sure?” I insisted.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “Your mom’s harmless.”

I rolled my eyes. “
Too
harmless; she’ll secretly be planning our wedding by the time you leave.”

“I doubt that,” he said. “She just gets excited for you. She wants you to be happy.”

The wheels of his car rolled through the crowded school parking lot.

“I guess I’ll see you after school,” I said.

His eyes followed me while I opened the door. “I’ll be here.”

Rayne watched as Sadie slid from his car to return to her life. She skipped up the sidewalk, turning back for only a second and allowing him one more glimpse of her smile before a swarm of students encircled around her. Their welcoming faces grew brighter as she lit up their lives without even knowing her effect on them—and on him.

She looked happy. This was what she knew; this was where she belonged. He wanted her to have her simple life back. At least as much as that was possible at this point. He idled in the parking lot until the last strand of her flowing hair disappeared from his view and drove out to the street.

Normally he would’ve been in his wetsuit by now, paddling out on his surf board towards the break. At least that would’ve been normal up until this month. Sadie’s condition had ballooned out of control in a matter of weeks. Thanks to his own incompetence.

Today he was too apprehensive to drive the five minutes back to his house. He couldn’t even bring himself to leave the neighborhood surrounding the school. He had to stay close. He made it as far as across the street and parked on the corner, facing the school, concerns weighing heavy on his mind.

He reached down and retrieved the handheld tracking monitor he kept secured to the underside of his chair. Sadie’s red dot pulled up on the map and sat unmoving at the northwest corner of the school grounds. He knew there was a good chance the dot wouldn’t move again until lunch. She had a habit of leaving her wallet in her locker during classes. Maybe it was time to consider adding a few more devices to her belongings, so he could follow her more closely. His insecurities had been mounting ever since that first contact with her on the beach.

His copy of Sadie’s diary still sat in the pocket behind his chair. He reached around to give it a glance then set it next to the tracking monitor in the passenger seat.

He thought of that night at the beach after he pulled her from the ocean, the panic that took over when he saw her fall. That was the first sign of his emotions controlling his actions. He almost gave in to them that day. Her flushed cheeks were warm under his hands; her soft lips came within inches of his own.

It took everything in him, all of his resolve, to leave her standing there in the dark. He remembered his pulsing heart as he sprinted away through the shadows, running as fast as he could, anger surging through his skin at his own weakness.

He wanted to beat the shuttle back to the parking lot, so he could ensure she made it safely to her car, but he couldn’t trust himself yet. He stopped just before he reached the end of the path, gasping for air and cursing himself for letting down his guard.

After that he thought he’d doubled his focus. Even when Sadie came to his gate the very next night, he was able to hold himself back. Even when his hand hovered over the button to the intercom, staring at her sweet, unknowing face in the monitor, he didn’t press the button. He kept his control.

Even when Hamlin denied his request for reassignment, he’d kept himself together. It was her car accident that really changed things. Now his nerves were on edge any time he didn’t know exactly where Sadie was, who she was with, and what she was doing. He couldn’t let down his guard. Even if it meant sitting all day long in his car doing absolutely nothing but stare at her little red dot on the monitor.

He wasn’t even sure when he was making his decisions based on duty and when they were purely to indulge his desires to be near her. The bonding effect of the Healing Water was growing too strong for him to control.

He pulled his head back to the headrest with a deep breath. He just needed to collect his thoughts today, regain his focus.

Hamlin’s voice played back in his head from their meet the morning previous.
I know you’re concerned, but you must refrain from giving her constant exposure to the Healing Water. In order to gauge the extent of the defect you must allow the effects to take their course. Stay on high alert, but only intervene with more Healing Water when it is absolutely necessary to maintain normal function.

Rayne realized he shouldn’t have given Sadie that water bottle this morning, but he didn’t have the will. He wanted her to have at least one nice day back at school before he let her system run out, leaving her vulnerable just for the sake of observation.

He knew Hamlin was right though. It would be wise to figure out how long her system could manage without help. He needed to know what he was up against. He would always be close enough to step in if necessary, but he hated to watch her suffer in the process.

The weight of responsibility hung on his shoulders. He practically held Sadie’s well-being in the palm of his hand. He would never forgive himself for his mistakes or for dragging her into the mess he created.

At what point should he say enough is enough? Where was he supposed to draw that line? Was it wrong for him to tell her all those things last night; about his house, and the bonding, and her mother? He knew it was against the rules, but was it wrong?

It was
her
happiness that hung in the balance. Didn’t she have a right to be involved in her own life? At what point would it make sense to allow some risk to her protection in order to avoid the grossly obtrusive invasion of her privacy…and her trust?

He wanted to do the right thing, but he wasn’t sure what that was anymore.

Before, that meant do anything and everything possible to follow the Keeper Code and fulfill his duties. That’s what The Academy trained him to do. That meant do whatever it took to do your job, even if it meant breaking and entering, lying, stealing…

As long as it was for the right reasons, it wasn’t wrong. That’s what they required you to believe.

He could understand if there were some gray areas requiring him to break a few small rules in order to accomplish the greater good, but just about everything was starting to look like gray area lately. He didn’t know what to believe in anymore.

At least as a Keeper his job required only a small amount of deception, and there was a great deal of good being done as a result, so it seemed like it was probably worthwhile. But they weren’t the only agents out there. There were Scouts and Backers too.

Backers were just a bunch of business men needed to create the funding to run everything else. From what he’d gathered over the years, their practices were fairly ethical, but Scouts were a different story.

Rayne knew he could never survive as a Scout. It was no wonder Ash was so unhappy all the time. The way they went around
borrowing
technology, or sensitive information, or advanced weapons, or anything they felt would benefit them; as if somehow they were entitled to it without question.

Scouts showed no restraint. They were the only department that used guns to get the job done. Yet somehow this was deemed to be admirable, the highest honor that could be attained by an agent, not to mention the outrageous amounts of compensation involved. Rayne could never understand it all.

Lately he wished more and more to go back to his once simple life at the orchard.

Across the street students filed out of classrooms and milled around the school grounds during break. Rayne watched them with a strange sense of envy, wondering what it must be like to know your greatest concern was a math exam or whether you would find a date to the school dance.

He thought back again to his last meet with Hamlin. He always appeared so confident. When Rayne relayed Voss’s message, Hamlin didn’t even flinch. Here he was caught in the middle of a terrible scheme that threatened to ruin everything he’d ever worked for and there was not a trace of fear or anger in his eyes.

Everyone expected Rayne to be just as confident. He did everything he could to live up to their expectations, but he didn’t know how much longer he could keep it going. He almost felt like he was faking his way through everything. He didn’t feel confident anymore. It was all just an act he learned through his training. What did Hamlin ever see in him in the first place? Was he even cut out for the life of a Keeper? He was truly beginning to doubt himself.

He never aspired to this life in the first place. He was content with a simple existence, living and working at the orchard with his family. That’s all he ever planned to be.

He glanced at Sadie’s red dot on the monitor, but of course it didn’t move; and the light on the diary didn’t illuminate. That was a good sign. It meant she was having a normal day. He rested his head back in the seat and closed his eyes. That’s all that he wanted…Sadie’s happiness.

His mind kept turning and he pondered how he got to this point in his life. In the beginning it all just fell together like it was meant to be. He wasn’t sure he felt that anymore. There was so much pressure, so many expectations all counting on him to perform, to be something he felt incapable and unworthy of being.

A stream of memories played through his head from his old life, his uncomplicated life at Lizzy Grove. Playing in the fields, swimming in the purple sea after school, listening to his father tell stories by the fire.

That was so long ago. More than anything, he remembered the day he met Hamlin—the day that would lead him to a whole different world.

***

Rayne had lived seventeen years at the time, his body age still that of a twelve year old. His physical development was normal or perhaps even a little faster than the average. It was probably all the work out in the orchard that kept him strong.

He unloaded the crates of lizzy fruit optimistically from the truck while Lark and Flint carried them across the lot to their booth. Every Friday his brothers made the drive into the city to attend the farmer’s market sponsored by The Ambassadors Council, but this was the first time Rayne’s mother finally allowed him to go along.

The market was held in the park across the street from The Court of Ambassadors. Rayne had only been to the heart of the city a few times and the building looked more amazing and grand than he remembered.

The truck bed creaked under his feet as he stood mesmerized, gazing at the massive arched windows and towering pillars that surrounded the famous clock tower he’d seen on TV growing up.

Suddenly a lizzy fruit launched in the air and pounded Rayne’s arm. He stumbled back over a crate and landed with a thud.

Lark laughed wholeheartedly at the comical fall created by his throw. “Time to wake up,” he said between laughs.

Rayne rubbed his arm and stood with a smirk. He may have been smaller, but he had plenty of fight in him to return the favor.

Lark turned his back about to pick up a crate. “Come on, you little daydreamer. These lizzies won’t unload themselves.”

At the first chance, Rayne launched himself off the truck bed onto Lark’s back and knocked him to the ground. They laughed and wrestled in the grass until Lark finally pinned Rayne under his arm.

“Okay, okay, mercy,” Rayne said, squirming under his brother’s grip. He knew when he was beat.

Lark gave him a hand to his feet and messed Rayne’s hair with his palm. “You put up a good fight, little bro.”

Flint jogged up to the side of the truck. “Oh man, the fight’s already over? I wanted a piece of the action.”

“You can have next round,” Lark joked, “but my bet’s on the kid.”

Rayne lifted his eyebrows. “You better watch your back; you never know when the kid’s gonna strike.”

Flint pretended to be afraid and cowered behind Lark. “Not the attack of the kid! Somebody save me…”

After the booth was set up, they all sat on stools and waited for customers. Every time a pretty girl walked by, his brothers nudged each other with their elbows, egging each other on.

“Hey look at that one,” Lark said. “You think I should talk to her?”

Flint shoved his shoulder. “No way, man. City girls are way out of your league.
I’m
gonna talk to her.”

Lark jumped from his stool. “Not if I get to her first.”

Flint followed after him, grabbing Lark’s arm with a smirk. “No, you have to stay and help the kid run the booth.”

“No,
you
have to stay and help the kid,” Flint returned.

Rayne shook his head. “Hey, I can handle the booth myself, you guys.”

Both brothers stopped pulling on each other long enough to look at him. “Are you sure?” Lark asked.

“I can handle it,” Rayne said eagerly.

Lark and Flint peered mischievously into the other’s face with a silent challenge and bolted through the crowd, stumbling over each other to pull ahead in their race.

It was
kind of
interesting to watch the city people shuffle around the market in their fancy clothes, but not for long. The farmer’s market was more boring than Rayne expected. He’d barely sold a couple crates of fruit.

What was taking those two so
long
? They should’ve had time to be turned down by every girl in the city by now.

He couldn’t sit on that stupid wooden stool any longer, so he plopped on his back in the grass at the side of the booth. No one was going to stop to buy anything anyway.

The clouds formed funny shapes against the purple sky in the distance, but the sun still beat down on him from directly overhead. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with the bottom of his t-shirt. It seemed hotter here than Lizzy Grove. He was used to being right next to the sea where the air was cooler during the hot months of the year. It made the waiting seem even longer.

A man’s voice jerked him from his thoughts. “Business slow today?”

Rayne pounced to his feet like a cat. “Sorry,” he said, brushing the dirt and grass from his shorts. He stopped mid-step when he recognized the man’s face. His eyes went wide. “Uh, wow, Ambassador Fairbanks. Sorry, I was just…”

Hamlin smiled knowingly. “Enjoying the sunshine?”

Rayne nodded and grinned, feeling foolish. “Yes, sir.”

 “Well, I can’t blame you, son. I’m trying to do the same myself. After being stuck in meetings all morning, I thought I could use a break. How’s the crop today?”