Defiance at Werewolf Keep (Werewolf Keep Trilogy) (6 page)

All her suppositions
suddenly became too overwhelming. With her long hair neatly braided, she headed for the four poster bed that was now hers. Once she climbed in, Lily leaned over and turned down the wick of the lamp. The room fell into deeper shadow, the still burning fire providing the only light.

After saying her
regular prayers, sitting up in bed instead of kneeling at its side – a habit that had been formed from necessity over her years of illness – she added several special requests.

‘Please God, ease my parents’ fear
s for me at this time, and let them be reassured that I am well and safe. And if it is Your Will that I am to be a werewolf, please give me the strength to do no harm. All creatures of the earth are yours to protect, even mythical monsters, it would seem. So please, I beg you, protect me from all beastly urges that might arise from this condition, and let me be as a harmless kitten, instead. I ask this in Your name. Amen.’

Then
she turned over and closed her eyes. She immediately fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

CHAPTER SIX

By morning
light, the full reality of her predicament sank in. The Keep was a dour and unwelcoming structure that seemed more maze than dwelling. The view of the moor beyond her window was as stark and desolate as any scene she would ever hope to see. And the ominous clouds that hung so low and heavy in the sky almost brushed the tops of the naked hilltops.

Whe
n she went in search of a water-closet instead of using the chamber pot she found under the washbasin in her room, she became impossibly lost. And not even the light from her lamp supplied enough illumination in the shadowy confines of those stark corridors to clearly mark her way.

Finally, when she was close to panic and frozen with cold, Will found her. ‘Las
s, what are you doing in this part of the Keep? We’ve all been looking everywhere for you.’

He was back to the old Will, she saw immediately with relief, and it was enough to have her running into his arms, clinging to him like a child clings to her father after being lost. Will’s arms came around her, almost reluctantly, but when they were there he held her tightly, and seemed in no hurry to release her.

‘I became lost. I was looking for the water-closet.’ Her words were muffled by his shirt, which was collarless and had several buttons open at the top. She could see dark curly hairs poking out and she had the strongest desire to touch them, to feel if they were as crisp and springy as they looked. Breathing in his now familiar scent, she let herself relax for the first time since awakening in this strange and ominous world. Tears stung her eyes and she realised just how much she wanted home and her loving parents cossetting her, in that moment.

‘Aye, well lassie, they’re few and far between. Let me show you the one closest to your room. And I’ll show you the bath
, as well. We do have plumbing, if rather primitive in comparison to houses in London.’

With his arm
still around her, Will led her back along the dark chilly corridor.

‘Why were you so gruff with me last night? Did I do something to offend you?’ she asked after a moment of companionable silence
when she had her over-wrought emotions under control.

‘
Nay, lass, as if you could offend me. The jibes were getting to me, that’s all. Having a wee lassie like you defending my honour has amused certain people.’

‘Oh
, I am so sorry. I should have thought. You do not need someone like me defending you…’ She shuddered at her foolishness. Her hasty words were coming back to bite her. Will would, of course, be disgruntled to have a skinny, little woman – scared of her own shadow – defending him when he was more than capable of doing such a thing for himself. She had insulted his manhood without even realising it.

‘Doona fash yourself
, lass, I can handle them. And though you mistakenly painted me a saint, I am honoured that you thought so highly of me that you felt the need to defend me. I canna remember the last time someone felt the need to do so.’

Mollified slightly, she sighed. ‘You do not have to continue trying to placate me.
It was not sainthood I was attributing to you, but taste.’

‘Taste?’ He spun to face her, looking down at her in the shadowed gloom created by the lamp she carried.

‘Yes. In women. That is the term employed for such a thing, is it not? “Your taste in wine and women” is a phrase I remember reading somewhere.’

‘Lily, lass…’ He groaned an
d ran his hand roughly through his shaggy hair. ‘My taste in women does not apply in these circumstances. You are a wee, fragile creature standing on the edge of an abyss. My desires in this matter are irrelevant.’

‘Not to me. Nothing you think or feel is irrelevant to me.’

He stroked the side of her face gently, staring into her eyes. His were so black she could see herself mirrored back in their onyx gleam.

‘I told you yesterday on the train how I feel about you. Do not demean yourself by not believing me. I have not des
ired a woman as I desire you…in a very long time. Be satisfied with that. Why is it that you women want men to proclaim their feelings from the rooftops? Does it no’ satisfy you to have me admit it?’ He sounded angry now, and frustrated with her stupidity.

‘
I am not trying to get you to proclaim your feeling from the roof top. I am trying to get you to admit the truth instead of trying to save my fragile feelings – ’

His mouth came down on her
s so hard and fast that she gasped. That was all he needed to invade her mouth, plunging into her hungrily, desperately, raging with some unfathomable emotion. But it frightened her, and she fought to draw away.

Immediately
, he let her go.

‘Does that not tell you how I desire you?’ he grated out between tightly drawn lips.

‘That tells me you are punishing me,’ she countered breathlessly.

‘Dear God in Heaven, lassie
, you will be the death of me! What can I say to put an end to this nonsense? That from the moment I saw you in your father’s shop, I wanted you? That I havena had a moment’s peace since then, the sight and scent of you always on my mind? That you are like a glowing lamp in the darkness for me?

‘
But you canna have my heart, though you deserve it, because I havena got one. There is a stone in my chest where flesh should be. And a stone canna give you what you want.’

‘What I want?’ she managed to get out of her suddenly dry mouth.

‘Aye. You want my heart and my soul. You want to ensnare me so completely I’ll give everything to be with you. You want me to love you… And I canna do that.’

‘I… I do not want your heart… N
ot as you mean it. I… I want your friendship, your gentle caring. That is all I could ever imagine having. The rest is for other women – ’

His rough finger stroked down her cheek gently, sadly. ‘Other women who are not skinny
, invalid spinsters, is that it?’

Lily
nodded, fighting back the sob that was threatening. Her life was out of control and she didn’t know what to do about it. She had never been in the company of men before, other than her father and physician.  In her wildest romantic dreams, she had never envisaged a lover who would marry her and give her children. No man, even had he the opportunity to meet her, would have wanted to risk his heart on her, a woman who could be dead in a month or a year. A plain woman who was already living on borrowed time.

‘You have every right to expect the rest. Yo
u are beautiful, like the twin flowers of my home. They’re wild and tiny and grow two funnelled flowers per thin stem, and they’re pale as milk with a centre that looks the colour of your eyes in some lights. A man might walk past them without noticing, but if he stops and looks closely, why, the sight is enough to take his breath away. They bloom for a very short time, so the sight must be appreciated for its rarity. They’re no’ as dramatic and hardy as heather or sweet smelling as Charlotte’s roses, but they are beautiful. And, had I a heart, I would give it to one of those flowers in a moment.’

Lily choked back the lump in her throat. Tears blurred her vision. How could a man who saw the beauty in a tiny flower think he had no heart? How could a man who had shown her the kindness he had, think his heart was a stone? What terrible thing had happened to make this gentle giant think so poorly of himself? Not his wolf, he had told her he had never hurt anyone in that form. But as a man he had killed. Is th
at when he felt his heart turn to stone?

She lowered her gaze, confused and unsure what to say or do next.
His big hand cupped the side of her head and drew her face upward, forcing her to look at him.

‘Do you understand now? Can this be the end of it now?’ His words were barely a whisper and his mouth seemed so close she could see the scar at the bottom of his lower lip. That scar mesmerised her.

When he groaned again and moved closer, she couldn’t believe her good fortune. When those scarred lips gently rubbed against hers, she felt lightheaded from the tenderness that unfurled inside her, a tenderness that was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. It was not her emotion. It was his, fed to her on his soft, scarred lips. And it humbled her, shattering the last walls of defence she’d held against him. Those walls had unknowingly protected her heart from wanting too much, all her lonely life.

Remembering how his tongue had invaded her mo
uth, she wanted to taste him that way. Was it acceptable for a woman to do as a man did? Could she taste him as he had tasted her? Uncertain, she let the tip of her tongue stroke the underside of his upper lip, enjoying the slick smoothness of it, the tangy taste.

But what she did sent Will mad. He pulled her close
r, burying his fingers in her hair and covering her mouth with his so firmly it was hard to tell where he began and she finished. His tongue came to meet hers, tangling with it, stroking it, until a strange weakness overcame her and her legs gave way.

Wi
ll was quick to take her weight and the lamp from her hand. He put the unwanted object on the table at their side, and then brought both of her arms up so they encircled his neck. Then his hands were everywhere at once, stroking her through the fabric of her gown, finding every patch of exposed flesh, almost as if he needed to feel skin on skin.

* * *

For Will, letting his baser urges free was like releasing the wolf. Relief warred with fear. He had wanted this small, frail woman with a desperation that bordered on insanity every moment of his waking day since he had met her.  And even in his dreams, when he finally managed to sleep, she was there – the unwitting temptress, the siren, drawing him away from his well-trodden path, leading him into lush, painful, unexplored territory.

He’d given himself release twice overnight, but the momentary peac
e that followed was brief and the need had returned almost immediately. He’d woken up this morning with his bedding wet from yet another release. He hadn’t done that since he was a youth.

Rising early, he’d taken his sheets to the laundry himself, too ashamed of his lack of control to let anyone else see the evidence. It had been on his way ba
ck to his room with fresh linen that he’d wandered past Lily’s door and seen it ajar. Knowing better, but giving in anyway, he peered into the room. Morning light from the window showed him what he’d already guessed. She wasn’t there.

P
anic had him scouring the dark, convoluted corridors of the ancient keep in search of her. He’d told her everyone was looking for her. That had been a lie. No one but he knew she was missing. No one but he was responsible for her safe return.

He’d gone beyond panic by the time he caught sight of her lamp at the end of a corridor in the unused wing of the keep. It was dangerous in
this area, the floorboards having rotted in places. Byron had been talking about renovating it to accommodate their increasing numbers. But that renovation had been postponed until the more pressing need for more cells was solved. The new tunnel and cells were only now complete.

When he’
d kissed her the first time it had been from that desperate place, and he’d scared her badly with his lack of control. Kissing her again had been an even bigger mistake, because this time she was ready for it, wanted it, and that only loosened his tether on his tightly reined-in control a little more. When her little tongue snuck out to stroke his lip, he’d finally lost it. Now, with her limp in his arms, lost in desire she had probably never felt before, he didn’t know if he had it in him to do the gentlemanly thing and let her go.

Because kissing her, holding her, touching her as he was doing
, was only making things worse for both of them. He was giving her hope where there was none. He was letting her lead him where he knew neither of them should go.

He just didn’t need the pain!

Gasping from the effort, he dragged himself away from her. Watching as she clung to the table instead of him, he saw her face reflect her confusion. She didn’t understand that the weakness in her limbs was not due to her illnesses, but to desire. How could she know when she had never experienced a man’s kiss or touch before? Her first should be with someone who truly cared for her. Not with a blackguard like him whose only interest was to bury his hard arousal deep in her soft body until he knew release.

Men like him took what they wanted and cared nothing for the havoc they left in their wake. Men like him were no better than the wolf. Men like him were better off alone.

‘Come on. This part of the Keep is dangerous. We need to get out of here.’ He took up the lamp and her arm, and helped her back into the habitable part of the castle. She had said nothing since their kiss, and the longer she stayed silent, the more concerned he became. What was she thinking? What twisted perspective would she be taking on his abrupt ending of their intimacies. Probably deciding he’d found her not to his ‘taste’ after all. God in Heaven, if she only knew!

Wh
en he reached her door, he led her across the hall and down several doors to the water-closet and the one next to it that was the room housing the claw-footed bath tub. When she saw the size of the tub and the taps for both hot and cold water extended over it, she spoke for the first time.