Deranged Marriage (11 page)

Joe seemed to be more affected by it than anyone. He wanted to ‘do something’ although I never found out what he meant by that. He felt that I needed his protection, which I did. Actually, I think that I spent more time calming him down than anything. Which, if nothing else, kept me busy.

Finally the promised letter arrived by courier when I was at work. George really was a class act. The letter informed me, that if I did not agree to marry him, he was going to take me to court to enforce our marriage pact.

My hands were shaky as I opened the letter, as if they knew what was in it. I clutched the letter and ran to Francesca’s office, Freddie at my heels.

‘He’s going to take me to court!’ I screeched. Eventually they managed to calm me down. Francesca took the letter, read it and reached for the phone, while at the same time she instructed Freddie to get Dixie to make me a strong cup of tea. When my hysterics finally abated, Francesca informed me that her solicitor was going to be at the office later that afternoon, and she didn’t believe there would be anything to worry about.

Susan Lord was the solicitor in question. She looked a bit like a female George and I wondered for a minute if she might be like Julia. She was very businesslike as she took the letter and read it, having placed a large briefcase on the table. She was very to the point as she requested a copy of the marriage pact and the story behind it. She then asked me if I wanted to marry him.

‘There is no way that you will ever marry this man?’

‘No. We’ve never even had a relationship.’

‘So he’s a friend?’

‘Yes, that’s exactly what he is...what he was.’

‘Fine. Holly, I cannot see how this will be enforceable. Has he given you a ring?’

‘A ring?’

‘An engagement ring. If you had accepted a ring from him then the matter might be slightly complicated, but still, I cannot imagine a judge enforcing this. I will write a letter on your behalf, telling him that you are not going to marry him, and that in my opinion the pact is unenforceable. You said he was a lawyer?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then he must know that. Unless he’s insane. Is he insane?’

‘Quite possibly.’

‘Well, I would say that the best course of action is to write the letter. I would guess that he is doing this to antagonise you, almost bully you. I can’t imagine that he actually believes this will work, unless he
is
insane. I’d be surprised if he took it any further.’ We discussed her fee, which was a bit of a shock, but I have to say that engaging a solicitor made me feel quite competent. My confidence seared.

But then I still had to tell Joe.

*

Predictably he didn’t take it very well.

‘He’s a stupid fucker if he thinks he can bully you this way.’

‘I know.’

‘But who in their right mind would force someone to marry them?’

‘Exactly.’

‘If I got my hands on him he’d be really, really sorry.’

‘I’m sure.’

‘In fact, that’s it. I am going to get hold of him and nothing you can say will stop me.’

‘Joe, it’s in the hands of my solicitor, you can’t get involved, it might make things worse.’

‘I don’t care. What sort of man stands back while another tries to force his girlfriend to marry him?’ Joe was angry, but looked so sexy.

‘The sort of man who is clever enough to leave it to the solicitor, and take his girlfriend to bed.’

It worked every time.

*

I received a copy of the letter Susan had sent to George. It was very much to the point, a bit like her actually, and for a few minutes I really believed it would do the trick. But, not for long, because I knew George, and although I keep saying the old George was totally different from the new model, they still share some of the same characteristics and one of those is that they don’t give up easily. I used to think it was a good quality with the old George, but now...

The George of my childhood was always relentless in pursuing his goals. If he wanted to play the lead in the school play, he would; if he wanted to get straight As he would; if he wanted to date someone, they wouldn’t stand a chance. George’s constant certainty about ‘what next’ in his life, was responsible for his single-mindedness. I used to take comfort in it; if I went under his wing then a little of his assuredness would rub off on me, because I didn’t have any. Now there was no way I wanted to be under his wing, and I hated the thought that for the first time in his life
I
was one of his goals. It scared me to my core, but then it didn’t. The contradiction that George was my friend, and when it came down to it wouldn’t be able to hurt me, crept in again. Everything would be fine.

George was experiencing temporary insanity—I was sure of that—and soon he would realise that he didn’t want to marry me; realise he’d made a huge mistake and I would live happily ever after with Joe. It was just a matter of time.

Chapter Eleven

I received my court summons pretty quickly. Even Susan was surprised at the speed in which it came through. She implied that it wasn’t normal for things in the British legal system to happen so fast and I wondered if George had some ‘mason-like’ connection with a judge. I hoped not. She was actually a bit huffy that her letter hadn’t worked, which I found a bit amusing. After all I was expecting George to go as far as he had to, at least until he regained his sanity. I might sound calm describing this now, but at the time I was a wreck. I was terrified at the prospect of attending court, terrified because my solicitor had already been proved wrong. I had visions of being in a dock and being asked to plead while a horrid jury watched on. How could anyone find me guilty of not standing by a marriage pact made when drunk and desperate? I dreaded to think.

Susan recovered from her sulk and explained to me that I was not going to appear in court the way I thought. There would be no need to engage Kavanagh QC for me. We were going before a judge, in chambers rather than court, to see if there was a case to answer. George was suing me for breach of promise (which sounded pretty serious to me, but what did I know), and he and I would face a judge who would then decide if there was any grounds to take the proceedings to the next level. Susan assured me that there wasn’t a judge in the land who would take George’s case seriously in a legal way. But then she had said that her letter would put a stop to it, which it hadn’t, so I was a tad reluctant to believe what she said.

I decided to believe her ‘there’s nothing to worry about’ line simply because the alternative was too exhausting. It was tiring enough anyway. Daily I would put on my make-up and try to be normal. I’d laugh about the Legal proceedings to the people I worked with. I was my usual businesslike self with my clients. I reassured Joe by making flippant comments and jokes; I did the same with my family. I was so busy that I didn’t even know how I felt about it any more; there simply wasn’t time for me to analyse my feelings. I just wanted to sleep and wake up and hope that when I did, George would have given up his crazy crusade.

I felt completely stupid for worrying; after all I couldn’t be forced into marriage, I knew I wouldn’t be, so I pretended not to worry and I teased others who did.

So I waited for the date to be announced (all George had done was to issue notification of intention to enforce the pact), and then I would put the whole sorry mess behind me.

Nearly thirty years old, in love and being sued to enforce a marriage pact that I really didn’t want enforced.

Finally I lost any sympathy I had for George. I called him, told his answerphone that he was a wanker and put down the phone, feeling better. That was as revolutionary as I got. I told Joe, who seemed to have changed his tune and decided that I shouldn’t rock the boat.

‘You’re the one who was talking about hitmen the other day,’ I accused.

‘Holly, George is definitely unstable, I don’t think that telling him he’s a wanker is going to help.’

‘I didn’t tell him, I told his answerphone,’ I shouted. Then I smiled. I didn’t like being told I was wrong, but I didn’t want to argue with Joe. I gave him a kiss.

‘What are we going to do?’ Joe asked, suddenly looking sad.

‘Not sure,’ I replied, truthfully.

‘We have to do something Holly. I don’t like the idea of leaving it to the law, especially as he’s a lawyer.’

‘Me either, but we don’t have a choice. We’ll wait to get the date and then we’ll go and we’ll win and put it all behind us.’ For some reason I felt as if I was talking to a child, but I think that was more for my benefit than for his.

‘But George is taking you to court to try to enforce your marriage pact.’

‘Yes, but there is no way any judge would go in his favour.’

‘You’re sure about that?’

‘Well as sure as my lawyer can be. What do you suggest?’

‘I was talking to Dave about it last night and he thought that I should do something. He suggested that you let me deal with George.’

‘Oh did he? And when you say “deal” I guess you mean “kick the shit out of”?’ Dave was a friend of Joe’s and looked a bit thuggish. But Joe said he was a pussy cat.

‘No. Just talk to him, maybe I can make him see reason.’

‘I don’t mean to be rude to you or Dave, but neither of you know George. You can try to talk to him but remember I already did that and he tied me up in knots. He’d do the same to you, in fact he’d probably end up getting your support.’

‘That wouldn’t happen.’ Joe was indignant.

‘No, I didn’t mean it like that. But George is a lawyer, a good lawyer, and he’s also nuts. A crazy lawyer is a lethal combination, we’ve already discovered that and I think we’d better leave it alone.’

‘I feel like I should be doing something.’

‘You are, you’re supporting me. And you’re doing it marvellously.’ I smiled. Containing macho male behaviour was becoming something of a regular thing.

‘Why did you make that marriage pact?’ he asked. It was the first time he’d asked me that.

‘Because we decided no one would ever love us. I was incredibly drunk; it was a joke, something that should never have come back to haunt me in this way. I keep asking myself the same question, but I could never in a million years imagine that it would have had this effect.’

‘I bet you wish you hadn’t done it though.’

‘Of course I do. Joe, can we forget it for now?’ I wanted to relax, and although I knew that Joe was feeling threatened by the whole thing I just wanted to pretend that I was Holly Miller in a normal relationship, without the black cloud of George hanging over me. But I wasn’t going to get that opportunity. Joe stood up and started pacing.

‘I can’t forget it. I feel like I should be doing something. There must be a way to stop him.’

‘We could kill him,’ I joked.

‘That’s not funny Holly. There is one way to put a stop to him, though.’

‘What?’ I was listening to Joe but my brain was beginning to tune out. Discussions about George were getting tedious. I looked up at Joe wondering if it was time for me to be a bit more understanding. He was pacing the room. ‘Joe, what is it? You know that the only reason I’m able to be flippant about this is because I feel certain in my love for you.’ I thought that should help.

‘I know, but if we didn’t have to worry about George then things would be much better, wouldn’t they?’

‘I guess.’ I was finding the conversation tiresome. I was also finding Joe’s pacing irritating.

‘Then let’s get married.’ I nearly fell off my chair. Did I hear right?

‘Joe, did you just say what I think you said?’

‘Yup. It makes sense. If we get married quickly, and I think we can, then you’ll be married by the time you’re thirty and George won’t have a case.’ Joe had stopped pacing, and although he hadn’t gone down on one knee he looked so earnest. I did something that I really shouldn’t have done; I burst out laughing. Joe adopted a very sulky expression.

‘I’m glad you find my proposal amusing.’ This made me laugh more. It was probably closer to hysteria than normal laughter and once I started I couldn’t stop. Joe tried really hard to look upset but, he couldn’t quite stop his lips from twitching.

‘Sweetheart, I’m sorry for laughing,’ I said, when I had resumed control. ‘But you have to admit that it’s not the most romantic of proposals and it’s the second non-romantic proposal I’ve received lately. You know, every girl dreams of the day when the man she loves asks her to marry him, but you just asked me to stop George, not because you want to. I couldn’t marry you for the wrong reasons, it’s not the proper basis for a marriage.’ Now I was serious. I didn’t want Joe to ask me to marry him just to get George off our backs.

‘But I do love you,’ he protested.

‘And I love you, but this isn’t right. And when I do get married I want the works. You know: big dress, hen night, church wedding, great big reception. Not a day organised in a hurry and conducted in a Registry Office.’

‘I understand. Yeah, you’re right. Shit, do you think I’m turning as mad as he is?’

‘No, darling, you’re not, but I think you’re possibly letting this affect you a bit too much.’

‘Then I’ll try not to.’

‘Good, come on, I’ll buy you a pint.’

We left the flat for the pub and not only was a row averted, but also all talk of George ceased.

Chapter Twelve

Two days days before my thirtieth birthday I received a call from Susan, who told me in her monotone voice (for which I had developed an aversion), that we would be going before the judge in the first week in March. Again, she droned on about how soon it was and she seemed wrong-footed by this. I put down the phone, went straight to Francesca who assured me that Susan
did
have a law degree.

‘Holly, you don’t have to like her, you just have to let her sort this out for you.’

‘What if she bores the judge so much that he decides to make me marry George?’

‘I hardly think that’s likely.’

‘Well, she doesn’t sound very sure of herself. She said she was surprised that the date came through so quickly. I would rather have a solicitor who wasn’t surprised.’