Deranged Marriage (15 page)

I’d walked away from Julia, from New York, from my job, but I wasn’t going to walk away from her—not Holly.

I rented a flat in London and tried to sort myself out. For a few days I stayed in bed, didn’t eat, didn’t shave, didn’t wash. I had my head to sort out, my feelings for Holly. I had to do it before I explained them to her. I stayed in bed and I thought and I thought, then the truth manifested.

When you realise the truth everything feels better. Since Julia had rejected me my whole body had suffered. My hands shook so I just tried not to use them. I wasn’t hungry. It was as if she had taken all my energy and left me with nothing. But in those days when I was lying horizontal, unable to lift my head, the truth seeped into my consciousness. Holly was the most important woman in my life apart from my mother. My friend Holly. We’d grown up together and our lives had always been linked. But then I had messed it all up by going to New York. I shouldn’t have gone. I should have turned down the job. I should have stayed in London where Holly and I would have fallen in love and lived happily ever after. There would never have been a Julia, she was a hurdle too far in the true course my love life should have run. But her rejection was necessary because now I had been returned to Holly.

Holly. The girl that represented the best times in my life. The girl who made me laugh more than any other. The woman who was my destiny. The uncomplicated, unconditional love she had always given me should have made me realise sooner. But I hadn’t. Until now.

I felt better so I got out of bed, shaved, showered, dressed. Then I contacted Holly and started trying to explain my feelings. She said she wasn’t interested. She accused me of stalking her. She had turned into a bitch. She told me that I had become a stranger but
she
was the stranger. Not me. I was angry with her, although I put her feelings down to fear. She was under the impression that she was in love with someone else, and all I could do was try to get her to come to her senses. I tried to explain this to her, but to no avail. I was in London, I had no friends, only a handful of acquaintances, and it was a lonely time, but Holly was the goal and I stayed focused on it. Flowers, dinner, phone calls, visits. I tried everything to get her attention, and I did get her attention but she stayed resolutely immune to my charms.

It really hurt when she shouted at me, when she called me names, but there was nothing I could do. I had to make Holly see that I loved her and that she loved me, there was no way that I could give up on that.

I visited my parents one weekend and found our marriage pact. I was looking through some of my old things and there it was, the answer to everything. Holly had shunned every attempt I’d made to develop our relationship, she had become cold and hostile. But the pact, our marriage pact represented something special. It would make her see sense. Everything fitted into place.

Unfortunately, Holly didn’t agree. She said I was crazy. I wasn’t. Believe me I wasn’t. All I wanted was a happy future and I knew that that would mean Holly. It wasn’t Julia after all it was Holly. The only reason we didn’t know it was because that night, that night in the hotel, we were drunk, so it didn’t register, but it would work because we were so obviously destined to be together. Crazy? I wasn’t crazy, I was saner than I’d ever been.

But she told me to get out of her life.
Get
out
of
her
life
. The one person I’d always loved, told me to get lost. She couldn’t do that and get away with it. We had a pact; she’d signed it. It was there in black and white. It was a contract. It was our bond. It represented our future. When I tried to point this out she laughed at me. I had to make her see sense the only way I could. The only way I could was to sue her for breach of promise.

The British law system is quite different to American procedure, but I had contacts. I called a guy I had worked with when I had started out in London, he was still with the firm with whom we’d both trained. Clive Parsons met me for a drink and I told him everything. He told me I had no chance of getting it to court, and he tried his darndest to talk me out of it. I told him there was no way I would give up, so he said that as I was serious we could issue proceedings for a preliminary hearing. He helped through the process, and although we weren’t exactly friends, it was good to have someone to talk to. I issued a summons for a preliminary hearing in a civil court. If the judge agreed I had a case then I would go ahead and sue; I’d sue until she saw sense. Although Clive said this was doubtful, I was still determined to give it my best shot. I asked Clive to represent me but he refused. He was very nice about it, but told me that he couldn’t take on a case like that, he mumbled something about it not being his ‘area’. I was going to represent myself. I knew what I had to do, and I knew why I was doing it. I thanked Clive for his help and I prepared myself to battle.

‘Why are you really doing this?’ Clive asked me.

‘Because I love her,’ I replied, simply.

‘George, I don’t think this is going to work, I’m telling you that as a mate.’

‘Fine, but I’m still going to do it.’

‘I suppose I should wish you luck, I just don’t know if I can. I feel that I should try to stop you, that I shouldn’t have let you come this far.’

‘Clive, I’ll take it from here, there’s no need for you to be involved further. There’s nothing more to say.’

‘George, good luck...I think.’

‘Thank you Clive.’

Just one more person who refused to understand me.

*

I wasn’t trying to hurt her. There was no way I would ever hurt her, but I couldn’t let her throw our future away and I had to use any means within my power to ensure that that didn’t happen. All I was trying to do was to keep myself in her life, that way she would soon come to her senses.

Love is a funny thing. Everyone who has ever been in love must know that. It is something that makes you feel strong and weak at the same time. I knew in the weeks following my departure from New York that I wanted to go back there. I knew that I wanted to return to my old job and resume my career but I also knew that the only way I would do that was with Holly as my wife. Surely she was going to realise how right we were for each other? It was just a question of when.

So, today, I am once again George Conway, super lawyer, and I am going to ensure that Holly Miller is so impressed with what I can do that she will come running into my arms. Where she belongs.

I checked myself in the mirror one last time. Gave myself a pep talk and tried to contain my nerves. I had to; my future depended on it.

Chapter Fifteen

Post
Coital

I went to court, although it didn’t look like a court, but saying that, I was too nervous to pay attention. As we met Susan’s words washed over me. All I could imagine was myself and George shackled together in marriage, enforced by an old judge who had never married himself. It certainly wasn’t like on television. I kissed Joe and Freddie before we were taken to somewhere called ‘chambers’, and all I could think was that the British legal system was archaic because what they called chambers, any normal person would call an office.

It was over quickly. If I had paid attention rather than concentrating on the nausea I was feeling, I would have known that it was going to be all right from the start. The judge asked how it had been allowed to get this far. I wondered the same. As this was a preliminary hearing and not a proper case it was just Susan, myself and George in front of the judge. The judge said that the contract would not stand up in any court of law and that was to be an end to the matter. I watched George’s face crumple and I felt sorry for him. I then kicked myself for that, because he had tried to force me to marry him. He was ordered to pay any costs and then we were thrown out. As Joe and Freddie hugged and congratulated me I watched George leave dejectedly. I did notice that there was a woman there and I wondered if she was a friend because she led him out. I didn’t care because it was all over as far as I was concerned and I could get back to my life. It was three months since George had first come back into my life and finally I was rid of him. Any sadness I tried to feel about this, was washed away with relief.

‘Susan, thanks,’ I said, with as much affection as I could muster for my solicitor.

‘Just my job,’ she replied, said her goodbyes and left. I noticed that she smiled a little more than she had on our previous meetings, and I decided that if I was going to need a solicitor ever again, I would contact her.

‘I think that we should celebrate,’ Freddie said.

‘How about Italian food and red wine,’ Joe suggested.

‘No champagne?’ Freddie asked, in mock-horror.

‘OK, so we’ll head over to the nearest oyster bar and order champagne and oysters,’ I decided.

‘Actually, I’ve got to get back to work, so I better leave you two to it,’ Freddie said, winking.

‘Maybe I should come in to work, after all I have been a bit preoccupied lately,’ I suggested.

‘No, Francesca said that I was to call her with the news and then head back, and whatever the outcome you were to have the rest of the day off.’ Freddie kissed me and left.

‘I think you need to pinch me,’ I said as Joe took my hand as we left the building.

‘Why?’

‘Well, now it’s over it all feels like it was just a terrible nightmare.’

‘It was.’

‘I’m relieved, but I’m almost angry with myself for letting it get me into such a state.’

‘It’s not every day that someone takes you to court to try to get you to marry them,’ Joe said, squeezing my hand that bit harder.

‘I know, anyway, it is over now.’

‘It sure is. Where shall we go for the champagne?’

‘Let’s go to Blake’s, I feel like celebrating.’

In the taxi, I called my parents, then Imogen, Lisa and Francesca to tell them the good news. By the time we got to the restaurant, I was more than ready to celebrate. I hadn’t felt this happy in ages, I was as exuberant as the bubbles in the champagne. I ate heartily, but then I had been eating quite a lot. After lunch, I ordered another bottle of champagne, and Joe reached over and took my hand. We were a bit merry I think, but Joe’s face was pink, I believe he was blushing.

‘Holly, I know that when I asked you to marry me it was for all the wrong reasons. Well, not all the wrong reasons, because I do love you and that’s always a reason for marriage, but I guess my timing was off and the overwhelming reason was to get George off your back, but now he is. Anyway, what I mean is that when I asked you, well I hadn’t given it a huge amount of thought, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it. And well, this isn’t how I planned it, but...I don’t think I’m very good at this, so I should just do it. Holly Miller will you marry me?’

The warmth that flooded my entire body was like a lifetime of summers. Shit, how corny is that, but it was. Here in front of me was the man I loved and he was asking me the question that was perhaps the most important question anyone would ever ask me, and although I was a bit off marriage since George came back on the scene, I knew that the way my body, and my head, and my heart were feeling right now, was the right way to feel. I squeezed Joe’s hand and felt tears stinging the back of my eyes, I didn’t want to cry, not even with happiness because there had been too many tears. Joe was looking at me intently, looking for the answer, and his face was still pink.

‘Yes,’ I squeaked, unable to hear if my voice was audible.

‘You said “yes”?’ Joe shouted.

‘I did.’ He jumped up and to the surprise of the rest of the restaurant, he lifted me high in the air.

‘You mean it?’ he whispered into my ear, as if he couldn’t believe it.

‘I do, do you?’ I asked, unable to believe it either. Then we kissed, and we laughed, and this time the tears did return.

We finished the second bottle, and then we paid the bill and went home.

‘I want to tell the world,’ Joe said.

‘Well you can’t. You have to ask my father’s permission don’t forget.’

‘I haven’t met your father.’ Suddenly Joe looked scared.

‘He’s a softie, but really you ought to meet my parents before we tell anyone.’

‘When can I meet them?’

‘How about the weekend after next? It’s a bit of a trek to Devon, so we could try to take Friday afternoon off.’

‘Sounds fine by me. But I have to keep quiet until then?’

‘Absolutely.’

‘I love you Holly Miller.’

‘I love you too Joe McClaren.’

The court case was over, I was marrying the man I loved, but immediately following the proposal, life got back to normal. I went to work and threw myself into it. I found it hard keeping quiet about our engagement but if ever I was tempted to talk about it, I called Joe. On Saturday, following the court visit, I had work to catch up with and Freddie was coming over to my flat to help. We’d got behind on a couple of projects, although nothing major, and as it was my fault, I resolved to sort it out. Freddie was being a darling about the whole thing, and I really felt things getting back on track. Joe was spending the weekend catching up with friends he’d neglected before the court case. I kissed him goodbye and I realised that although he would only be gone for one night, I really would miss him. I was totally sad.

When I think back to first meeting Joe, I was cool. Before Joe I was cool, but gradually I have been sliding off the cool tracks and now I am just a loved-up sap. The awful thing is that I’m quite happy to be uncool. I have no use for cool any longer. But then, the relationship has had an unusual path. Pre-George it was normal, but George did turn it on its head. He tried to split us up but that brought us closer together and I am sure that if it hadn’t been for him we wouldn’t be making this mammoth marriage decision for a while yet. He made me realise how much I loved Joe, which is ironic because that was the opposite to what he wanted, and I guess he must have made Joe realise how much he loved me. In a funny way, I owed a lot to George. I might even tell him that one day.