Deranged Marriage (35 page)

‘It’s better to wait until the fax has arrived before you ring him, anyway. That way you’ll be telling him about it at the same time as the journalists get it.’

‘What if they get it first and call him?’

‘No chance.’

‘I must be costing the company a fortune.’

‘Don’t be silly. How did it go with Joe last night?’

‘He got angry.’

‘Oh.’

‘But that’s good. Imogen says anger makes you tired, so you forgive more easily.’

‘Really?’

‘Freddie, it makes sense, Imogen’s right. I feel like I’m going through this weird sister bonding thing at the moment. We never did it, when we were young or anything. Now I feel as if we’re building a relationship.’

‘So, how about you. How are
you
?’

‘Better now I’ve got all this work to do. Weird, thinking that people want to use our company to get a look at me. But it keeps my mind off things. I made a start on the pitches last night.’

‘Holly, it’s going to get a lot worse.’ Freddie’s voice had dropped to almost a whisper.

‘I know.’

‘People will want photos of you now.’

‘As long as I’m not in my underwear.’

‘They’ll want photos of you looking pregnant.’

‘Pregnant I can do.’

‘Holly, I know you’re really good at denial, but can you stop. There is every chance you’re going to be hounded.’

‘Oh, don’t be silly, I’m certainly not that interesting.’ Freddie was prone to being melodramatic.

‘I was thinking about moving you into my flat.’

‘What on earth for?’

‘Because I think that you might have journalists and photographers outside yours.’

‘Don’t be silly. Now, can we order because I’m eating for two and that means I need lots and lots of food.’ Freddie shook his head but he indulged me. After lunch we made our way back to the office.

‘I don’t want to call him,’ I said.

‘I know, but you have to.’ We went to Francesca’s office.

Francesca sat me down at her desk and handed me the phone. I looked at it as if I’d never seen one before.

‘Number,’ Francesca demanded. I pulled out my mobile, and scrolled down the phone book until I got to George. I gave the phone to Francesca and she dialled. I squeezed the handset to my ear, willing him not to pick up.

‘Hello.’

‘It’s Holly.’

‘Holly, what a lovely surprise.’ The thought of the George on the end of the phone made me feel like throwing up. He was so far removed from the man who used to wipe up my tears and make me laugh and bring me Lucozade when I was sick, and persuade me to cook for him, and do his laundry most of the time. He wasn’t my best friend. He was an impostor. That is what I believed. I think that post-Julia, he had gone nuts. He was a lunatic, someone who had lost all reason; deranged. The court case alone provided evidence of this. Unfortunately instead of the lunacy subsiding he was actually getting worse. I wondered why I alone could see this. The man was clearly unhinged and the media and the public hadn’t noticed. This enraged me almost as much as his behaviour did. But in the absence of having him certified there was nothing I could do, so instead of having sympathy, I used anger. Mad or not he was still ruining my life.

‘Where are you?’ I asked.

‘In my apartment, why?’

‘I wanted to check that you weren’t in a television studio.’

‘I’m at home. It’s a day off, actually.’ He let out a sort of chuckle. I tried to keep myself calm but I could feel the anger rising. I could feel it rolling in my stomach; swishing through my blood, filling my head.

‘Don’t rest on your laurels too much George, you don’t want the media to lose interest.’ Francesca shot me a sharp look; Freddie stifled a laugh.

‘Holly, you know why I’m doing this. I’m doing it for us.’ At that moment I honestly believed that he believed what he was saying. He was obviously a victim of psychosis.

‘Whatever. That’s not why I’m phoning you.’ My voice was sharp, cold even. I was trying to antagonise him. If it gave me pleasure, and my life was a little short of that right now, then I was entitled.

‘Why are you phoning me?’

I took a deep breath. ‘George, you’re my oldest friend, you know that. Whatever this is all about, I have never valued a friendship the way I valued ours.’ Good start: when dealing with insanity sound patronising.

‘Me too.’ He sounded pleased, so obviously, it was working.

‘And whatever happens, I hope you remember that.’ I spoke slowly and clearly, as if he was an imbecile, a mad imbecile.

‘Holly what are you talking about?’ Now he sounded confused.

Freddie mouthed, ‘Get to the point.’ I scowled at him.

‘George I’m having a baby.’

‘You’re pregnant?’

‘That’s what I said.’

‘But, how?’ I wondered what was going through his mind at that precise moment. He was probably upset because he thought I meant I was pregnant by Joe which would foil his little plan. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case, but it didn’t hurt to let him think that, to tease him with that thought, for a few seconds anyway.

‘The normal way, George, a little sperm swam up my you-know-what and fertilised an egg. Like most women, ovaries were involved.’

‘I didn’t mean that. How does Joe feel?’ He sounded nervous. He was no doubt imagining his new-found fame crumbling around his arrogant ankles. As much as I would have liked to prolong the agony, the time had come. Not only were Freddie and Francesca gesturing frantically at me to hurry up, but I was also in desperate need to pee.

‘Well he probably feels the same way you do, as I have no idea which one of you is the father.’ Probably could have been a bit gentler with the news, but then, he didn’t deserve it.

‘You mean it might be mine?’ I could almost hear his mind ticking over.

‘Yes, I’m sorry to say the most accurate prognosis of conception date is the end of November or the very beginning of December.’

‘Oh Holly, this is wonderful news.’

‘Really? Well it might not be yours. After all I shagged Joe loads of times and I only had sex with you once.’ Francesca was giving me her stern look again but I was past caring. Whatever I did, I couldn’t make George behave any worse.

‘But it might be. I have to call Cordelia.’

‘George, you’re priceless. I tell you you might be the father of my unborn baby and the first person you want to call is your publicist.’

‘It’s not that.’

‘What is it? You need her to get you some more interviews based on the new developments. What now,
This
Morning
,
Coffee
Break
,
London
Tonight
? All to say how right you were to insist on marrying me, because now I might be carrying your baby. Well, don’t worry, I’ve issued a press release so everyone will know. What you do to exploit the situation is up to you.’

‘I’m sorry you feel like that. If we’re going to be parents then we have to start planning the future.’

‘For God’s sake listen to me—it might not be yours. It might be Joe’s.’

‘Then we’ll have a test.’

‘I’m surprised you want a test, after all if it turns out to be Joe’s then that will be the end of your media career.’

‘But...’

‘Ask Cordelia, I’m sure she’ll recommend not pushing for the test. Besides they’re too risky. I’ve got to go now, bye George.’

‘But Holly, I need to know more. Do we know the sex? Should I come to antenatal with you? Are you eating healthily?’

‘Actually George, we don’t know the sex, I don’t bother with antenatal and I drink shit-loads of brandy and smoke forty cigarettes a day so I don’t have much time to eat.’ I put down the phone.

Francesca was staring at me with her mouth wide open.

‘What?’

‘Imagine for a minute that someone had just told you that you might be about to become a parent, then they followed the news with that tirade. How would you feel?’

‘I don’t give a shit how he feels because he hasn’t considered me in any of this, not at all.’

‘Well, the press has the information; George knows, Joe knows. I guess what happens next is out of our hands now,’ Freddie said reasonably. ‘But Hol, maybe you want to be a bit careful about what you say in future.’

‘I’m sure he wasn’t even listening, he was already imagining the television career he’s going to build on the back of me.’

Despite my bravado and my bitchiness I looked at Freddie and Francesca, put my head in my hands and wept.

‘Bloody hormones,’ I croaked between sobs. ‘They won’t stop making me cry.’

Chapter Thirty-one

Fatherhood

I was going to be a father. I was having a baby. I knew, deep down that the baby was mine. No matter how much Holly tried to protest, or how much she kept on about it being Joe’s, I knew it was mine. It all made sense. Fate had led me to the conclusion that I was supposed to be with Holly, and to make sure that we knew, it had given us a sign—a baby. We were definitely intended to be a family. I couldn’t give up on making her see that. If anything, the baby made me more determined than ever to carry on my crusade. It was only through the media that I would be able to persuade her. The only way.

I could forgive her for being so horrible on the phone. I have to forgive her because she is in a different place to me right now. I know that she will regret her actions, and I know that she will tell me she’s sorry. But that will be the time she tells me that we are meant to be together and that the baby is mine. It will all happen because it’s written in our stars.

I called Cordelia with the good news.

‘Guess what? Holly’s pregnant and it might be mine.’

‘But that would make her over four months.’ Cordelia didn’t miss a trick, which was why she was so good at her job.

‘Exactly.’

‘So, how come we didn’t know about this sooner?’

‘She kept it quiet, but she’s sent a press release out to all the papers.’

‘Well then we better act quickly. Can you get yourself here straight away?’

‘I’ll see you in half an hour.’

We were sitting round the meeting-room table, drinking coffee. Our sexual relationship, or any evidence of it was absent when we were in the office.

‘So, how do you feel?’ she asked me.

‘Elated.’ I was over the moon. Before I asked Julia to marry me I knew that I wanted kids pretty much straight away. I was definitely into being a father. I’d be a good father.

‘But we don’t know for sure it’s yours.’

‘I know.’

‘George, we can’t go to the press saying you’re convinced the baby is yours, they’ll think you’re mad. On the other hand if she has a test, and it turns out to be Joe’s then our story is dead in the water.’ She looked pensive.

‘She said she didn’t want a test.’

‘Really? Well that’s handy. We will tell the press that it must be Holly’s decision to have a test and we’re not going to push her. That way it makes you look as if you’re being ultra-reasonable and it keeps the story alive.’

‘So it’s good news all round.’

‘It is, very good. Couldn’t be better.’

‘So, what now?’

‘I’m going to call round and offer you for interviews. Papers will want your reaction to the news. Television shows can have you on when they talk about paternity issues, and they all love to flog that topic to death. I’ll get some magazine interviews. Your line is that you are happy, although you don’t know for sure if you are the father. Your main concern now is to take care of Holly, and also to let her make her own decisions about paternity tests and so on. Make it clear that you would love nothing more than to be a father.’

‘Actually I would love to be a father. When she told me and there was this possibility that it might be mine, I was filled with this warmth. It was truly amazing. I might have created a life.’

‘George, save the sentimental crap for the interviews. Right, let’s start setting them up. Do you want to hang around? We could go for dinner after we’ve finished.’

I looked at her and thought about sex. Great sex. ‘Sure thing.’

I smiled as I watched her stand up and go into her office. While I waited in the meeting room with my coffee and the newspapers I imagined Cordelia in action. She is amazing when she works, really something else. She picks up the phone, always manages to get through to the person she wants to speak to straight away, and then she goes in for the kill. She is pretty sexy when she works. After what seemed like hours she returned.

‘What we have here is a situation. The media love it. They all want your response so I’m organising a press conference. We might even get some television coverage, actually I’m sure of it. Sophie is booking us a room for the conference; I’ve arranged it for early evening.’

‘Isn’t that a bit quick?’

‘Not at all, we need it to be in the papers tomorrow, and maybe on the news this evening. We don’t have time to procrastinate.’

‘If you’re sure.’

‘Trust me George.’

‘I do. What about dinner?’

‘It’ll wait until after the press conference. I think you’ll be hungry by then.’ Then she kissed me. ‘That’s something to keep you going until I get you home, bad boy.’ I couldn’t wait.

I just had time to go home and change into a suit before getting a cab to the hotel for the press conference. It wasn’t exactly the Hilton but then it was all arranged at short notice. I was worried that no one would show up. Surely journalists were too busy to drop everything. It would be embarrassing if no one showed. I have to admit to being nervous. I’d seen a number of press conferences on television but had never been the subject of one. Sports stars, TV stars, they were the people who got press conferences, along with parents of missing kids and various other crime victims. So where did my press conference fit in? It must be on the celebrity side. If the press turned up and if there was a good number of them then I would know that I was a star. If they didn’t, then I would sit down with Cordelia and figure out how to make me one.

Cordelia met me in the entrance of the hotel and informed me that we had a full room.