Deranged Marriage (33 page)

‘Thanks Lis.’

‘I’ll be fine on my own,’ Imogen said, looking anything but.

‘No, it’s settled, you’re coming home with me.’ They stayed for another hour, until I told them to leave. I needed more sleep.

I was allowed to leave hospital the following afternoon and I managed to stay awake. He prescribed more sleep and told me that although he realised I couldn’t avoid stress, I had to try to minimise it.

‘Tell that to my ex-boyfriends,’ I said.

‘Maybe if you said you were pregnant, they’d leave you alone.’

‘Or maybe they’d have a feeding frenzy like crocodiles in a zoo.’

‘Point taken.’ I smiled. After all, he was a doctor, I wondered how much of the real world he had time to live in.

Imogen called a cab and took me home, insisting on making up a bed for me on the sofa. It reminded me of when I was younger, my mother did the same. If we were ill (and we had to prove it), she would make up a bed of the sofa, give us a hot water bottle, switch on the television, and spoil us all day. I loved being ill. I smiled at Imogen.

‘You know I think I was just really tired. I feel so much better for the hours and hours of sleep.’

‘Francesca is coming over after work to talk to you about what you said yesterday.’

‘Shit, you guys are worse than the WI. You all talk about me more than you talk to me.’

‘Holly, that’s not fair. I told Freddie what you said when he called to see how you were. Lisa agreed with me that they should advise us.’

‘I work in PR, I know about the press, I could write my own press release, why do I feel as if you all think that since this happened I’ve suddenly turned into a moron.’

‘It’s not that and you know it. We’re trying to do the best for you.’

‘Sorry, I know you are. I’m just a bit frustrated. If only George would bog off.’

‘Yeah, well I’m sorry to say that he was on another breakfast show this morning, he’s done an interview in the
National
Herald
, and the
GQ
issue with his feature article is out in a week’s time.’

‘Freddie told you all this?’

‘Yes, he’s on top of it. Listen, Hol, George has also done some local press in Devon.’

‘Shit.’

‘I know, but it’s just regional. What’s important now is to make sure that you are all right, health-wise.’

‘I know. I want to wave my magic wand and make him go away.’

‘Jack suggested having him kneecapped.’

‘You are joking.’ Why did all the men think that violence was the answer?

‘Actually I think he sounded quite serious. He’s really upset for you, not for himself, but for you.’

‘Jack’s a love. But knowing our luck if we did that
I’d
end up in prison.’

‘I know. But it’s quite a nice vision.’

I giggled. ‘Yes it is. I never thought of myself before as violent but I would like to chop his balls off.’

‘With a blunt knife.’

‘Immi, you’re shocking.’ We both hugged and laughed, because, I decided that if I didn’t laugh, I would bawl my head off.

That afternoon, Imogen and I read a bit of Dr Stoppard’s book, a section on what was going to happen next. Apparently I would start to feel more energetic. I cried with laughter at that given the mammoth sleep I’d just had. The good doctor also said I would be hungrier now so I would probably expand at a fast rate.

‘Oh God, I’m going to be like a person with a bicycle pump up my bum. I’ll keep growing and growing until the baby bursts forth.’

‘No, because you aren’t going to be stupid about it. But we ought to think about buying you some maternity clothes. It says that you are probably going to need them now.’

‘I’m
not
wearing smocks.’

‘Holly, they’ve come a long way with maternity wear since mum was pregnant.’

‘Thank God.’

‘Holly, can I ask you how you feel about the baby?’

‘I’m excited, terrified, but even though I would never have chosen to get pregnant and have a baby in these circumstances, I know that I love it more than I’ve ever loved anyone. Well, a different kind of love, I feel so protective. The first thought when I woke up and realised I was in hospital was for the baby. I was terrified in case it was hurt.’

‘You really want to be a mother, don’t you?’

‘Um, yes, I really do.’

‘I wish I felt like you.’

‘Immi, I only feel like this because I’m pregnant, I didn’t want a child before.’

‘But I’ve been married forever and people keep asking us when we’re going to reproduce, but I don’t know if I want to.’

‘How does Jack feel?’

‘He’s a children’s writer, he loves his audience, and he’d love children of his own.’

‘You’ve talked about it with him?’

‘Yes, but I stall him, I’m not too old am I? I still have plenty of time. It’s just seeing you pregnant makes me want to feel broody, but I don’t.’

‘How about we wait until the baby is born and you’ll be an aunt, see how you feel then. But don’t have a baby if you don’t want one. Immi, I don’t know what you’re scared of but it’s not scary, it’s wonderful.’

‘I’m scared of not loving it.’

‘Why would you not love it?’

‘Because...I don’t know. I think I should talk to someone about it because it’s not fair on Jack.’

‘Have you talked to Mum?’

‘No, she wanted kids from the word go.’

‘Well then maybe you should see a therapist. There is obviously some reason you feel this way, but I don’t think for one minute that you wouldn’t love your baby.’

‘You don’t think I’m crazy?’

‘No, I think you’re very normal and I think you’re very brave for admitting that this is how you feel rather than just getting pregnant. I’m sure that’s what most people would do.’

‘Thanks, Holly.’

‘You’re welcome, sis.’

I was learning things about everyone. About Lisa, about my sister, about my parents, even about Freddie and Francesca. It was amazing what a crisis could do, and I suppose that at least the way it was bringing us all together was positive. If there was a positive to be had.

Chapter Twenty-nine

‘Holly, I’ve brought you loads of work,’ Francesca said as she walked through the door.

‘Really?’ I was pleased, work was just what I needed. Among other things.

‘I know we’ve been making you take it easy, but now I need you, I’ve got a few proposals that you need to write, and also I need you up to speed on all accounts so you can check that the clients are being serviced properly.’

‘I’m sure Freddie’s doing that.’

‘Yes, I know, but he’s new to this responsibility, he needs to know that
you
know he’s doing a good job. I need to know as well.’

‘I’m thrilled, I was beginning to think that I wasn’t really necessary any more.’

‘Of course you are.’

We spent an hour going through all the things that needed doing and I felt the old me return. I was a career woman, not just a pregnant messed-up blimp. I also knew that the work would help to take my mind off other things and give me a focus other than myself.

‘I don’t think you should overdo it,’ Imogen said, as she brought in tea. She had made the tea in a teapot I didn’t even know I owned, and she carried it on a tray with a plate of biscuits. She was so like my mother.

‘Immi, I’m not even going into the office, I’m just working from home. It’ll be good for me. Most pregnant women have to work up to a month before the birth.’ I wasn’t sure of the exact accuracy of that statement but I sounded authoritative.

‘Most pregnant women don’t have the media attention you have.’

‘Nothing compared to Victoria Beckham.’

‘Yeah but she chose her media attention, you didn’t.’

I sighed. If Francesca wasn’t intending on sacking me, she would once Immi had finished. She’d feel far too guilty to keep me on.

‘Imogen, if at any time Holly can’t cope she can stop. We’re fully behind her, and she can slow down at any time.’ I smiled at Francesca with gratitude. Sometimes it was nice to have someone else to do battle with my formidable sister.

‘Fine then.’ Imogen raised her eyebrows then left the room.

‘Are things all right between you two?’ Francesca asked.

‘She’s just concerned, and she is sweet but you know, fussing a bit much.’

‘Who’s on the rota next?’

‘Imogen just announced that she’s taking a double shift. She won’t leave until she knows I’m fully recovered from the fainting episode. Then it’s Lisa again, thank goodness. Francesca, I’m worried about the effect all this is having on our clients.’

‘You know what I’ve discovered? Our clients love any press coverage, even if it isn’t centred around them. Since all the pieces in the paper about you mention where you work, I’ve had more new business enquiries than ever.’

‘You’re kidding?’ The world was twisted.

‘No, seriously. I think what you have to remember is that everyone is obsessed with celebrity, and although you’re not really one, the fact that you’re in the tabloids is good enough. No one aspires to the broadsheets any more, or our clients don’t. I reckon that I’m going to have to give you a raise for all the potential business you’re bringing in.’ I looked at her to check if she was going to break out into a hearty laugh and declare: ‘Joke!’ But she didn’t; she looked in earnest.

‘You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?’

‘Holly, I know that you don’t see it at the moment, but I’m a businesswoman first and foremost and as much as I love you, I love my business more. If you were harming it in anyway I’d pay you off. As it is, you’re actually doing me no end of good, albeit unintentionally. So, can we agree to stop the paranoia. Anyway, you’ve got to write the new business proposals. And you’ve got to present them. That’s the stipulation I have for you. You can’t stay in the background when people have come to us as a direct result of you.’

‘You mean that they want to see me, which is why they’ve come to us?’

‘Probably, but that’s OK. Because we will get some business from this, well we will when you present the amazing proposals.’

‘Am I a freak show?’

‘Not exactly freak, you are an object of interest, people are intrigued. But as I said, these people are serious potential clients, I’d know if they came to us out of curiosity.’

‘I suppose if some good can come out of this, then I’m not going to complain. But it’s bloody perverse. I almost don’t know if I can condone it.’

‘Lose the morals Holly.’

‘I don’t even know where they came from.’ We laughed. ‘I think that in the case of the flourishing business it might be a good time to talk about the pregnancy.’

‘Remind me, how pregnant are you?’

‘Four and a half months. Halfway there, can you believe it?’

‘No, you’re not that fat.’

I pulled up my top to show her my rounded stomach.

‘My God, that’s amazing.’ Francesca came over and put her hand on my stomach. I wasn’t entirely comfortable but thought that it was something I had to get used to. ‘Does it kick?’

‘I can feel it moving a bit, it feels like a butterfly fluttering its wings. It’s truly amazing.’

‘Oh, Holly I can’t believe you’re going to be a mother.’

‘Nor can I.’

‘It’s so exciting. And as you are about to start showing, and as you are going to be going out a bit more, I would advise that we pre-empt the media interest this is going to cause and issue a release.’ Francesca was right, she was all business first.

‘That’s what I was thinking. We might as well get it over and done with.’

‘There is always the danger that the interest in you will last until you give birth and paternity is established.’

‘There’s nothing I can do about that.’

‘I know, but you might be in for a good few months of media coverage. Can you handle it?’

‘Yes.’

‘You know how we think George is in love with the publicity and the fame? He is going to exploit this, with the help of Cordelia. God I wish I’d never slept with her husband.’

‘I don’t think she is doing this because of you sleeping with her husband. She didn’t even know I worked for you when she first came across George. Anyway that’s not important. It’s obvious that they are going to exploit this, but I bet you they won’t try to make me take a DNA. They won’t want to risk that the results ruin their little plan. Shit, if I wasn’t so terrified that the baby might be hurt I’d have the damn test.’

‘I’m going to write a press release. Actually I’m not, Freddie is. It’ll say that you’re four and a half months pregnant, and that the father is almost certainly Joe, but there is a chance it’s George because of a one-night stand. However we put it it’s not going to sound very good.’

‘No, it isn’t. Francesca, I’m going to tell George myself.’

‘Are you sure, I don’t like the sound of you talking to him.’

‘I don’t want him to read it in the paper, or have some hack calling him up and asking him his reaction. He was reasonable once upon a time, I need to remember that. This is temporary insanity, I’m sure of it.’

‘It’s hard to lose friends isn’t it?’

‘You know it really is. I can’t equate the George that’s doing this to me with the George that was my best friend. It hurts every time I read the paper or see him on television, because he was the most important person in my life for so long. I grew up with him, I knew him so well, and there is no way that he would have ever hurt me, I know that, which makes this so hard to understand.’

‘I know, Holly. I’m going to get Freddie to write the release tomorrow; can you call George tomorrow?’

‘I need to call him just after we fire the release out. Otherwise he might go to the papers before us, we need to time it just right.’ The world, or the country would know tomorrow that I, Holly Miller, was pregnant, unsure of paternity, and then they would hate me more than ever. Imogen was right, unlike Cordelia’s type of scraping-the-barrel-celebs, I wasn’t courting publicity, nor was I in control of my own image. They had branded me the baddy and ignored my defence. Things, without a doubt were going to take a turn for the worse.

‘OK, we’ll write it in the morning, you approve it, then we’ll have it ready to be faxed out as you call George.’