Desperately Seeking Shapeshifter (11 page)

The sound of distant wolf howls woke me from my sleep. I sat up with a gasp, my heart hammering. The room was empty, moonlight streaming in through
the ceiling hole and the dirty window. Where was Ramsey? My Anderson protector? The wolf howls rose again and I shivered, the back of my neck bunching and rippling anxiously. I bit the inside of my cheek for control and crept down the stairs. Part of me wanted to hide under the bed, but the small, dreadful part in the pit of my stomach wanted to follow the howls. They almost made sense, even to my sleep-drugged mind, and I needed to know more.

I crept out on the porch in my T-shirt and sleep pants, crossing my arms over my chest. There was a chill in the air, but it wasn’t supposed to bother the wolf part of me—yet another thing I was doing wrong. I stared into the trees, listening for the wolf call again. There was a faint taste of shifter on the breeze, but I smelled Ramsey’s scent more than anything. He’d been here, and recently. Where had he gone?

A figure stepped out of the shadows of the porch. “Thought you’d hear them,” Connor said quietly.

I smothered the wolf-snarl that rose in my throat, trying not to jump backward.

He saw my alarm and raised his hands in the air to calm me. “I don’t mean anything. I just heard them and thought you might be curious.”

He took a step backward, and I noticed that his scent was mixed with the light smell of . . . were-cougar? His shirt was torn and the buttons were done up wrong, and it looked like his right eye was starting to bruise.

Seemed like someone hadn’t been so welcome
when he’d dropped by the Russell house to visit a certain were-cougar.

I bounced on my feet, trying not to seem wary and out of sorts. “So where’s Ramsey?”

Connor squinted at the trees. “Unless I miss my guess, he’s in bear-form, trying to chase the wolves off the property.”

“Oh?”

Connor shrugged. “They’re here to check up on you.”

Because they were going to swoop in and take me back if they didn’t like how he was treating me? I shivered with dislike. The wolf pack was always hovering in the background, reminding me that they were watching me. That even if I tried to cut them out of my life, they’d still show up.

The howls rose again, fainter this time.

Connor watched me. “Can you understand them? The howls?”

“No,” I said. “Can you?”

He nodded. “Most wolves can. You’ll eventually learn it when you become more in tune with your wolf side. Don’t suppose you feel the need to transform?”

I shook my head. “I usually don’t feel it coming on until it’s too late.”

“That’s because you’re waiting too long.”

I looked over at him. “So when are you going to teach me?”

“I’m not,” he said softly and took a step away from me.

“What do you mean, you’re not going to help me? I thought my life was in danger.”

“It is,” he said, then took another step away from me, his gaze fixed on the dark tree line. “You know just as well as I do that he’s not going to let another male near you when you’re vulnerable.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoffed. I wanted to say more, but a large shape loomed in the shadows, and my nostrils filled with the scent of bear. Ramsey. His eyes glinted in the darkness, and he hovered at the edge of the tree line, waiting.

The uncomfortable shivers started along my back again. If Ramsey wanted to hurt me in his bear-form, I’d be helpless. He was so big . . .  but when Connor shifted another few feet away, I noticed that the enormous bear’s gaze wasn’t on me.

It was on Connor.

“So how am I supposed to learn how to shift if he won’t let you near me?” I asked.

Connor gave me a lazy smile. “Don’t know. You should probably ask your mate.”

This was just getting silly. “I’ll talk with him,” I said. “This agreement between the wolf pack and our Alliance needs to work. Ramsey knows that. I can reason with him—”

“You can’t,” Connor said. “The mating instinct is strong and possessive. When it finds the woman it wants, it grabs ahold and won’t let go. You don’t think straight when she’s around. When her scent’s in your nostrils, she’s all you can think about.” A bleak look swept over his face. “And when she won’t speak to you, the light in your world goes out.”

I had a feeling we weren’t talking about me anymore.

Connor noticed my silence and cleared his throat. “He’s not going to want you anywhere near another shifter, especially one you’re frightened of. It’s the mating instinct.”

Yeah, but we weren’t really mated, so that wasn’t it. “I’m sure I can reason with Ramsey.”

“And I’m sure you can’t. Trust me on this.” Connor glanced at my neck, then headed across the overgrown yard toward the guest cabin. “See you in the morning. Don’t forget we have the barbeque tomorrow. I imagine that’s what they came by to remind you about.”

Like I could forget. “How long will it take for them to forget about me?”

He studied me for a minute, and his gaze softened into something that was either sympathy or pity. Then he glanced away, as if thinking. “It might take a while.”

He was lying. I watched him, and he wouldn’t look back at me. “
Are
they going to forget about me?” I asked in a smaller voice. “Ever?”

Connor just gave me a look of pain. “If I could get them to back off, I would. It’s affecting my life, too.”

“Because of Savannah?”

A flash of intense pain crossed his face, quickly masked. “They won’t let me be with her. I need her, but I can’t have her . . . not that she’d have me. I wasn’t strong enough when she needed me.” His hands clenched into fists and he stared into the woods, eyes intense. “I need to stop thinking about
her, because as long as Uncle Levi is the alpha, it’s
his
way. What I want doesn’t matter. What you want doesn’t matter. It’s what Levi wants. And what he wants is for wolves to belong in a wolf pack. Not mating with cats or bears.”

“If that’s how your uncle Levi thinks, I’m surprised he agreed to this pact.”

Connor’s smile pulled up in a wry twist. “He’s giving you a bit of rope.”

“Just enough to hang myself with?”

He nodded. “No more, no less. If I know Uncle Levi, he’s expecting this experiment to be a failure and you’ll come running back to the pack soon enough. Which is why you need to tell Ramsey to hold you close and not let anyone get in the way of your love.”

Before I could stammer out something appropriate, he turned and walked back to the guesthouse.

I watched him go, then turned to regard Ramsey’s massive form, hulking in the woods. The scent of bear was almost overpowering, and the sight of him struck a chord of fear in my heart. What if he had the temper that Roy had? What if that helpless lack of control was what all male shifters felt around a female? I wanted to talk to him, force him to change back and discuss Connor, but I couldn’t bring myself to approach the bear.

I headed back inside and slipped under the covers. It was a long time before Ramsey returned, and I heard him creak up the stairs before sliding into our room.

I feigned sleep, keeping my breathing even.

He entered and stood by the side of the bed, and the skin on the back of my nape prickled. I knew he was looking at me. After a moment he climbed into bed, his skin hot against mine, and I didn’t protest when he pulled me close and tucked me under his chin. My muscles relaxed, and I leaned into the solid warmth of his broad chest.

The man Ramsey didn’t frighten me. It was the beast aspect of him—and myself—that made me question everything.

Chapter Eight

T
he next morning, Ramsey dropped me off at work with a polite kiss on the forehead and a murmured comment that he’d be back to pick me up in time for the Anderson barbeque. He didn’t like leaving me alone with Connor, and I didn’t like it, either. But if we were supposed to be assuming our normal lives, he couldn’t continue to hover around me. Even more than that, he wanted to show the Anderson wolves that he wasn’t about to back down, and that we weren’t intimidated by their threats.

But I
was
intimidated.

In fact, I was so intimidated that I wanted Ramsey to come in and spend the day shadowing me again, but he had a job to do, and Connor would suspect something if Ramsey continually hovered. So I reluctantly let him go.

Connor followed me in to the office, but he seemed bored as soon as we got there, so I gave him a stack of filing and instructions, and he got to work. He kept looking over at me, and I wondered if he expected me to spontaneously grow a tail. Exactly
how often was a shifter supposed to transform, anyhow? I didn’t know these things, and it seemed stupid to ask.

My sister came in, dressed in a cheery yellow sweater and her favorite pair of jeans. Her long hair was loose around her shoulders, and she wore a beaming smile. I greeted her with a smile of my own that faded when she sat down and pushed her hair off her neck.

Her white neck proudly displayed the enormous mate mark, and a hot blush stole over my face at the sight.

Mate marks are one of those peculiar things that every shifter can see plain as day but no human can pick up. It’s kind of a cross between a flush on the skin and a gleam of scent—hard to describe, but obvious to anyone with a tail. It declared a mate off-limits, possessed and proud of the fact.

I touched my own neck thoughtfully. Connor had stared at it, and I wondered if he was going to tell his father that I hadn’t been marked. Perhaps it was time to take the pretending to a whole new level. If I had a mate mark on my neck for the dance, it’d add much more credibility to our relationship.

A shiver flashed over me at the thought, and I pictured Ramsey’s big form looming over mine, his hot skin pressed against my own, mouth locked on my throat . . . jeez. I fanned myself with a file folder. It sure had gotten warm in here.

Maybe I’d bring it up to Ramsey tonight. I blushed at the thought, even as it made my pulse
race.
Excuse me, do you think you could bite me on the throat a few times? I want to make sure everyone thinks that I’m your mate. Don’t mind if I spontaneously orgasm. I’m doing this just for our charade.

I hadn’t had sex with a man since I was seventeen. Hadn’t even wanted to consider it. But sex was like an itch that couldn’t be scratched, and ever since I’d been bitten, my sex drive had been ramped up a notch. I usually took care of it myself, since the thought of a man touching me filled me with unease. What if I changed when he touched me? Sex was a solo act out of necessity.

But . . . everyone already thought Ramsey and I were doing the deed. I wondered if it’d be such a stretch. I wondered if Ramsey had ever thought about it.

As if he’d been summoned, the doorbell clanged. I looked up to see Ramsey in the doorway of the office. His big shoulders blotted out the early morning sunlight, casting a shadow over my desk, since it was the closest to the door.

I looked at him in surprise, my cheeks hot with a blush at my thoughts. Ramsey’s timing was . . . eerie. “Everything okay?”

He stepped toward my desk, and I noticed what he held in his hand—a lidded Starbucks cup and a small brown paper bag. As he extended the coffee to me, I took it, surprised.

I was even more surprised when he leaned down and kissed the top of my head. “Have a good day at work.”

Then he strode back out of the office.

I stared after him, watching his broad back flex in the sunlight. He squinted, put on a pair of sunglasses and a Russell Security baseball cap, and got into his truck. I looked down at the cup in my hand. The closest Starbucks was at least ten minutes away. He’d gone to get it just for me?

Had he heard my offhand comment to Connor yesterday? Or had Connor volunteered it? Surely not, if Connor’s job was to entice me toward the pack. I looked at the werewolf, but he was still filing, a bored look on his face.

A small, polite cough caught my attention. I looked across to the other side of the room, and Bath pointed a finger at her monitor.

I glanced at my own screen. Bath had sent me a chat message.
Boy, he’s really good at this pretending thing, isn’t he?

I’d say he was. The Starbucks was thoughtful. The kiss on my head afterward? Felt like something a real couple would have done. I didn’t want to share with my sister that I was having some not-so-fake thoughts about my fake mate. I typed back,
Ramsey is very thorough. He wants to make sure this seems real.

As I typed it, I felt my heart drop a little. Was that all it was? That he was very good at details? Surely I was reading more into a cup of coffee than I should.

Another message pinged from my sister.
Next time, tell him to bring me a coffee, too. I like decaf.

As the day wore on, my anxiety grew at the thought of the Anderson barbeque. I’d tried to weasel out of it, but Connor had been insistent, and my sister was enthused on my behalf.

“Think of all the pointers they can give you,” she said. “And you can tell them all about Midnight Liaisons. Maybe you can talk a few more of them into signing up with the Alliance. Think of yourself as an ambassador.”