Desperately Seeking Shapeshifter (27 page)

“Let me
go,
” I repeated, the sound more of an angry, wolfen growl now. Oh, no—it sounded like I was about to change.

“Ain’t never gonna let you go, baby doll,” Wyatt drawled from behind me, toying with the flimsy straps of my dress as if he wanted to move them down my shoulders. “Wolves don’t like being told no. ’Bout anything.”

I thrashed in their grasp, and when one reached for my skirt again, the snarl that arose in my throat was definitely wolfen. Fur sprouted on my arms, and my muscles seized and clenched.

“Looks like our girlfriend still can’t control her inner puppy,” Maynard drawled, and when I jerked away again, they let me stagger backward, but I couldn’t go far—my legs were cramping and shifting, and I dropped to all fours, heaving blood. A flash sounded and I looked up to see Wyatt holding his phone out, taking a picture of me mid-change.

“Dad ain’t gonna be happy that your boyfriend doesn’t seem to be doing a good job with your changing.”

“I’m thinking she needs some extra tutoring from her pack mates,” said the other with a grin.

Then they left me there, vomiting down my party dress and changing to a huddled, miserable lump of werewolf.

When Ramsey found me a short time later, I was weakly changing back to my human form. I said nothing, even when he quietly wiped the blood from my mouth and pulled his jacket back over my shoulders.

Beau arrived a few minutes later. “You all right?” he asked, concern in his eyes.

“Sure,” I said dully.

“Why do you think they attacked you?” Beau asked, his tone easy in order to keep me calm.

I gave him a flat look. “They’re reminding me that I belong to them. They’re not going to forget about me. Ever. We thought they’d give up on this, but we were wrong. They’re just toying with us. They’ve never had any intention of letting me go.”

Beau’s mouth tightened and he looked over at Ramsey.

“A lure,” Ramsey said harshly. “I heard the howling and didn’t realize they were setting up a trap. One kept me on a chase through the woods, and it left Sara vulnerable. By the time I realized . . . it was too late.” His big, square jaw set and I could almost hear his teeth grind in frustration. “I’m going to kill them.”

“You’re not,” Beau said in a firm voice. “Sara needs you at her side.”

His hand tugged me closer, pulling me against his side. “It won’t happen again. She’s not leaving my sight.”

Instead of making me feel better, I felt worse. Now Ramsey was stuck at my side until my fate
was decided. “Can we not tell my sister about this, please?”

Beau gave me a flat look, his mouth firm with distaste. “I don’t like keeping secrets from your sister.”

“She’ll just worry, and I don’t want her getting hurt by the wolf pack,” I said, appealing to his protective side. “And I’m fine,” I lied. “Just a little shaken.”

He looked skeptical, but after a moment, he stood and clapped Ramsey on the back. “I’ll go tell Bathsheba that Sara went home with you.”

Ramsey leaned down and picked me up. I should have protested being babied, but all the energy had gone out of me, along with all hope.

The wolves weren’t ever going to let me go.

Ever.

Ramsey washed my hair as I sat in the bathtub, numb with misery.

He’d taken me home from the dance, undressed me, and then helped me slide into a hot bath. When that hadn’t snapped me out of my funk, he’d calmly begun to soap my body. All I’d felt had been terribly numb. In my mind, I kept hearing Maynard’s words.

“You think we’re going to let you go that easily?”

Ramsey’s fingers brushed my jaw. “Sara?”

“Did you check on Gracie?” I asked. “Is she at the guest cottage?”

He paused for a minute. When I glanced over at him, he frowned powerfully. “It’s empty. She’s gone.”

That was it, then. They’d pulled their ambassador. Next they’d come for me, and they wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was simply a matter of time.

I stared at the faucet, unable to muster panic or dread. All I felt inside was cold.

“Sara.” Ramsey’s big hand touched my jaw, forced me to turn my face toward his. “Talk to me.”

I’d been living the past six years under a carefully constructed pretense, and the jig was up. I felt shredded on the inside. “You know they’re not going to give up, Ramsey,” I said softly. “They’ve made it very clear.”

The low, protective rumble started in his throat. “If they ever touch you again—”

“They will. They’ll wait until I’m alone, and they’ll strike.”

“Not if I’m with you all the time.” He reached under the water to grasp my small hand in his large one and give it a gentle squeeze. “I’m not leaving your side.”

“Until when, Ramsey?” I looked at him, tears dangerously close to brimming in my eyes. “Until six months have passed? A year? Three? You have to get on with your life, too. You were planning on returning to the bear clan. To Nikolina. I’m just holding you back.”

He said nothing.

A little part of me withered inside. “Being my
protector isn’t a short-term job, Ramsey. Bath had to put her life on hold for six years to be my watchdog. Six years of waiting and worrying. Of knowing that I was ruining her life and being too scared to do anything about it. And I’m just . . .” I slumped in the water. “I’m just so tired of it. I’m a prisoner no matter what I do, and you’re forced to be my jailer and bodyguard until either they give in or I do. And I know they won’t give in.”

“How do you know?”

Because Roy was like that
I wanted to say but didn’t. My skin rippled at the memory, and I shivered despite the heat of the water.

Ramsey took hold of a nearby towel and held it out for me. I stepped into it, letting him tuck it around me as he would a child. Once I was wrapped in it, he led me to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, carefully drying me off.

“Tell me about the guy that turned you,” he said.

“I’d rather not.”

“Sara.” He tugged me into his arms and held me against his chest. His hands slid to my ass, skin slightly damp. “Tell me. Right now I want to kill the bastard. I want to kill the wolves for trying to claim you. So tell me about him, or I’m going to go find me some Andersons and start pounding heads in.”

I looked up at his serious face, his lovely, hard mouth drawn into a frown. I traced my fingers lightly over his features. How much could I trust him? It wasn’t just my secret, after all. It was Bath’s,
too. “I don’t know if I can,” I said softly. “You’re not mine.”

He buried his face against the small rise of my breasts, kissing my flesh fiercely. “You can trust me.”

“That’s not what I was saying,” I said gently, running my fingers through his messy blond hair. “I said you weren’t mine, Ramsey. You’re Nikolina’s. You belong to the bear clan. This is all still pretend. As much as I’m attracted to you, and you’re attracted to me, this can’t go on forever. Either the wolves will win, or we’ll win and you can go back to the bear clan and your family . . . and your fiancée. But this is only temporary—I can’t tell you about Roy because you’re not mine.”

The look he gave me was half fury, half frustration. Very carefully, he cupped my face, kissed my nose, and then said softly, “Get some sleep.”

Chapter Sixteen

T
he next morning, I awoke to the sounds of hammers and drills. A quick peek out the window showed that the Wilder Handyman van was parked out front. I heard hammering on the roof and the faint call of one voice to another—Jackson asking Ramsey to hand him something. I should have been irritated that they’d woken me up, but I felt an odd rush of happiness instead. I liked seeing the old house take shape and wondered what it would look like when it was all done.

And then I wondered if I’d be around to see it. I sighed and dressed in a T-shirt and paint-splattered jeans. Maybe they could use some help.

Downstairs, I found Dan wiring in a new stove. He retreated a few feet at the sight of me.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and gave him a sheepish look. “I’m okay. Jackson and Ramsey on the roof?”

“Yep. I’m supposed to tell you that you’re not allowed to go in to work today. Ramsey says that you’re supposed to get him when you wake up.”

“I’ll get him soon enough,” I said, not in any kind of rush to see him at the moment.

Dan gave me a quick smile and then went back to fussing with the new stove. It was shiny and black and had a glass top. I liked it already. “You and Jackson did a great job, Dan,” I said, running my fingertips over the new stove. “You Wilders should be proud.”

“My last name’s St. James,” Dan said. “No relation to Jackson. He’s just my alpha.”

“But I thought packs were family based?” I sat on the counter and picked up an apple, biting into it.

“Most are,” Dan agreed. “My family is . . . they aren’t around anymore.” He swallowed hard and averted his face, concentrating on the stove. “Could you hand me those pliers?”

I plucked them out of the nearby toolbox and handed them to him, feeling like an ass. I didn’t want to ask about his family—he’d told me they’d passed on recently, and the wound was clearly still fresh—but I needed to know more about how packs worked. I was desperate for this knowledge.

Dan must have sensed my anxiety. After a moment, he looked up, re-handed me the pliers, and added, “We didn’t have an alpha when Jackson came in. When the others passed on, I stayed with him.”

Interesting. I thought for a moment, then delicately phrased my next question. “So you two don’t have a pack right now?”

“We
are
a pack—of two. I could join another
pack, but Jackson can’t. He’d be immediately challenged by the alpha—if one even let him get near. So we just mind our own business and try to stay out of everyone’s territory.”

That sounded lonely. But it might be perfect for my needs. “What if someone wanted to join your pack?”

He gave me a surprised look. “You want to mate with Jackson?”

“
What?
No! Is that the only way I can join?”

He shrugged. “That’s how it’s done.”

“That’s barbaric.”

“It may not seem right to regular humans, but wolf instinct is real hard to override.”

I couldn’t argue with that.

“ ’Sides,” Dan continued in a careful voice. “If you joined our pack, I imagine the other pack would challenge Jackson for you.”

I blew out a sigh of frustration. Jackson was a nice man, but he was one man, and there were eight redneck Andersons. “I was just thinking aloud. I’m not joining anyone’s pack.”

A relieved look shot over his face, quickly masked. Outcast even among the wolves, that’s me. I decided to change topics. “The new stove is nice.”

He grinned over at me. “Got a new washer-dryer to install, too. And new toilets, but they want to do that after the roof has been patched.”

I smiled at the thought. “This place will seem almost like home once it’s all done. Wonder why Ramsey let it get so run-down?”

Dan gave me a funny look. “I guess the instinct finally kicked in.”

I didn’t know a thing about shifter instincts, so I had to ask. “What kind of instinct?”

“You know. Bears and their dens. Family stuff.” He shrugged. “He took a mate and he’s making a home for you.”

Before I could reply, I heard the sound of truck tires on the gravel driveway. “Another delivery?” I asked Dan with a smile.

He didn’t look happy. “No, ma’am.”

An anxious quiver erupted in my stomach and I hopped down off the counter, moving to the big, open window in the kitchen. Behind the Wilder van I saw the bright green pickup of the Anderson family, and as I watched, Levi, Wyatt, Maynard, and Gracie piled out of the truck. They sniffed the air, then began to head toward the house. The hammering on the roof stopped short.

My heart pounded in my chest. Every bone in my body screamed for me to run, but I knew that wolves didn’t respect a coward. Any weakness I showed would just make things worse. Clenching my hands, I walked onto the porch and paused at the front of the porch steps.

Levi saw me and took a few steps in my direction. Maynard and Wyatt were smirking, but Gracie seemed sullen. Levi waved a hand at me, beckoning me forward. “Come here, girl.”