Deviant (36 page)

“I’m not going to answer your fucking stupid questions anymore because, no matter what I say, you’re going to twist it around so it fits whatever morbid notion you have going around that sick head of yours. All I will say is that my
parents
had nothing to do with your mum and dad’s death.
I
had nothing to do with your mum and dad’s death. I didn’t know and I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m not going to stick around any longer and let you abuse me and accuse my family and me of such ridiculous allegations.”

Dean laughed and it made my blood boil even further. “Maybe you just don’t know your parents as well as I do, Tyler. They obviously kept things from you. They tried and failed to keep me away from you. But, even still, you couldn’t seem to keep that mouth shut of yours about me. That’s what led to their death, Tyler.”

I huffed out my frustration. “I never told them anything!” I shouted. “I didn’t fucking
know
anything. I know my parents never liked us together, Dean, but they would never have been so vindictive. They would never have put your parents in harm’s way. There is no way in hell I will believe that. They were just trying to protect me from you. They were just making sure you never took advantage of me.”

Dean laughed. “They couldn’t keep you away from me forever, Tyler. You want to know how I know you never fucked Ian once I left? I took advantage of your innocence long before you, or they, could realise.”

Frowning, I couldn’t fathom what he was talking about. “What do you mean?”

Dean shook his head with a smile. “Remember when you were eighteen and, at a party, you told a boy named Dillon you were still a virgin?”

Throwing my hand over my mouth, I gasped. Shaking my head, I could almost feel the tears pooling in my eyes. “No…,” I protested.

“Yes,” Dean replied. “You always wanted me to be your first, Tyler. I was just granting that one wish for you—”

“What?” I interrupted. “Before you came back, stalked me, and tried to ruin my life?”

Dean nodded. “Something like that. I was out to ruin you, yes, but only because of what you did. I could have given you the world, but all you did was shit on me.”

I had enough. I wasn’t going to stand here and listen to this any longer. “Goodbye, Dean. I hope I never fucking see you again.”

Dean banged the desk again but, this time, I didn’t jump. I was determined to not let him affect me. “Get back here, Tyler. You and I aren’t fucking done yet.”

I walked towards the door and was on my way out when I suddenly turned. “We
are
fucking done, Dean. This is where it ends. I never want to see you again.” I turned around to walk towards the lifts when I remembered something. “And another thing,” I said, turning my head a little. “I quit!”

With my head held high, I marched towards the lift and got in. There was probably hardly anyone in the building by now.

When it got to the bottom floor, I walked out with a sigh. I knew I was strong back there, but it took everything in my willpower to hold it together. My first love, the one I thought I would spend my life with as we got older, had turned from my superhero into my villain. How on earth could it have turned out this way? He didn’t even think to stop and ask questions. He just assumed, and I knew that the word “assume” made an ass out of you and me. I laughed a little at that analogy. I had made an ass out of myself. I had let Dean in, my stranger, when he was just there to hurt me. All the while, he was there to cause me pain. But the crux of the whole thing was that Dean was my first in the end. He was determined to take my virginity and hold onto that as the first part of his revenge—the first part to ruining my life.

He was never like this when he was younger. He was innocent, carefree, sweet, and caring. Thinking that my parents or I could have been involved in his demise made my skin crawl. I couldn’t even believe he thought I would betray him like that. He was the love of my life. Even now, the memory of him held strong. He would always be the love of my life. No matter how much I hurt, I would never be able to escape that. I would never be able to escape him.

Without thinking, my hand immediately sought out the necklace he had given me all those years ago. It was something I had always wanted to keep with me just to cling onto him somehow. I had always hoped that, one day, he would return, but I never envisioned it would be like this. Subconsciously, I had even broken off relationships because I had this silly notion that, one day, my Dean would come by on his white horse and whisk me off into the sunset. I guess life had a funny way of showing that it had a sense of humour. Dean wanted to make his point, and he certainly made it with a fucking cherry on top.

It was the daydreaming in the car that stopped me from realizing I was nearing the turn to my apartment. I had driven all the way back from work without even noticing. How on earth did that happen?

I indicated left to turn into my car park and parked my car in my spot. I was determined to not let him win, even now. Walking into my apartment, I had barely enough time to get my coat off and place my things down when the doorbell rang.

Sighing, I reached for the door and opened it a crack. I saw Ian standing there with a big smile and two bottles of wine: one red, one white. Shit, in my haze, I had completely forgotten all about Ian coming over.

Undoing the latch, I opened to door to find Ian inhaling, then his face fell. “Hold up a sec. Why can’t I smell the distinct aroma of Spaghetti Bolognaise?” Ian turned his head to catch my eyes and when he did, his smile disappeared. “What’s wrong?” He walked in and I closed the door. What was I going to tell him? I suppose everything, now that this had happened tonight. Ian was just as big a part of Dean’s life as I was, so I had to tell him he was here at least. Not only that. We had both been working for him for the past three years. With that, amongst other thoughts whirling around in my head, I motioned towards the sofa.

“I think you need to sit down,” I suggested with a half-smile. I really didn’t know how I was going to tell him, but I knew I had to try.

Ian gulped a little, but did as he was told. “You’re frightening me,” he finally said, reaching the sofa and sat down. I sat down next to him and took a deep breath. I wasn’t sure where to begin, so I started from the beginning. I told him all about my stranger, the things he did around the house, unwittingly knowing it was Dean all along. The only part I left out was what he told me about my parents. I would elaborate if he asked, but I was too drained to carry on once I had finished.

After I told him that Andrew Walker was Dean all along, Ian sat there, dazed for a moment. “Shit, Tyler,” he finally spluttered in disbelief. “I can’t believe he did that.”

I shook my head. “Me, either.”

Ian’s face was a picture. You could tell he was shocked and you could tell he must have had a million questions flying around his head. We were all such good friends. We shared everything together. Our hopes and dreams, even our darkest fantasies.

Once Ian calmed down a little, he saw my defeated stare and motioned me over. “Come here. Let me give you a cuddle and a good old-fashioned massage to help you unwind. You’re never alone with your best friend. I was always there for you.”

I smiled and manoeuvred myself into Ian’s arms. He gave me a warm hug, then pulled me up so he could massage my shoulders.

I moaned my appreciation. “Thanks, Ian. You’ve always been a true friend.”

“A true friend who is determined to get into your knickers by the time we reach thirty.”

I chuckled at his running joke, but I wasn’t really in the joking mood tonight. “I’m sorry about the Bolognaise, Ian. Maybe we could get takeout instead?” He rubbed some more, showing me his support.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Just sit back, relax, drink some wine, and we’ll order something once you’ve calmed a little. Your shoulders are so tense.”

I shut my eyes, murmuring “Thank you” as I let him carry on rubbing my shoulders. I was beginning to relax. Today was still coursing through me, but it was easing a little bit now that I had Ian here to support me. Even though I never had Dean, Ian was the one true friend I counted on through thick and thin. He had always been there for me as much as I hoped I had been there for him.

“I can’t believe he blamed your parents for all of this.”

I immediately tensed and snapped my eyes open. Noticing my change, Ian stopped rubbing my shoulders. “I didn’t tell you the part about my parents.” I breathed a little heavily and felt my heart thump with adrenaline.

I heard him sigh and felt his arms drop down from my shoulders. I turned towards him for an explanation, but all I could see was a man who had been caught. For what, I didn’t know, but I was about to find out.

“Ian, what are you not telling me?”

He stared at me for a moment, his eyes unblinking. In the end, he knew he had to say something. “For years, we had been together and, for years, you had always picked him over me.”

Shaking my head, I shot out of my seat, tears in my eyes. I couldn’t believe where this was heading. Was Ian playing me this whole time as much as Dean was?

Ian held out his hand in a calming gesture. “Please, hear me out. You need to know how I feel, Tyler. You must have known. You must have sensed how much I’ve loved you all this time.”

I shook my head again, wanting so much for all of this to go away. I needed to know, but my head and heart screamed in agony at the loss of my two best friends. The ones who had been betraying me all these years, not the other way around. This feeling, above all, sent my heart into a tailspin. If I thought I was broken before, I was wrong. Now I’m
completely
crushed into little pieces. How could anyone recover from this?

“I knew Dean’s parents were trouble. I knew that, eventually, Dean would be embroiled in that trouble. I had to save you from that, Tyler. I had to save you from him.”

“You sent the letter, didn’t you?” I asked, dumbfounded.

Ian’s eyes went wide with shock as he realised I knew, then he dipped his head down with a nod. “Yes, but I only did it so that they would have to flee. I knew once I got the word out that someone was after them, Dean’s mum and dad would be off. I just thought they would go and we would never see them again.”

“But why does Dean think my parents are involved? Why does he think
I’m
somehow involved?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess because they were involved in their case.”

I shook my head. “That’s bullshit and you and I both know it. What did the letter say, Ian?” Shaking his head, Ian dipped his eyes to the floor momentarily, trying to open his mouth. I was quick to stop him, though. “Ian, don’t you dare fucking bullshit me. Just tell me the truth!”

Ian sighed and stared up at me. His friendly eyes I came to love dearly were not there anyone. They were lost forever. “I wrote a letter pretending to be your parents. I wanted to make sure it got into the wrong hands. Or, let’s just say, the right hands.”

Tears pooled my eyes. “I can’t believe you would do that to me, Ian. And why does he think I had something to do with it?”

Ian gritted his teeth. “I had to make sure Dean would never come back.”

Closing my eyes, I tried in vain to keep my anger in check. “Why, Ian? Tell me!”

“Because it said in the letter that you told them everything about Dean’s family. It said they were worried about you and didn’t want you mixing in with them. I was only speaking the truth. I was doing your parents a favour.”

I shook my head, unable to comprehend how he could have done this. “By implicating them and putting them in danger? By implicating me?” I suddenly started pacing the room. It was quickly caving in on me and I needed to feel I had space to move.

“You and your family were never in danger, Tyler. I knew Dean would never hurt you, no matter what he found out.”

I snapped my head to him and glared into his eyes. “You see, Ian, that’s where you’re wrong. He
has
hurt me. He’s hurt me so badly that it’s irreversible now. He wanted me broken, and he’s achieved his goal. I will never heal from what he’s done to me. I will never heal from what
you’ve
done to me.”

Ian’s eyes glazed over as he shook his head. “No. I can fix this, Tyler. I can make it so you’ll never have to worry about a thing again. I love you. Your parents never wanted you with him and you know it. You were always supposed to be with me.”

Bile rose in my throat at the thought that Ian orchestrated this whole thing to get Dean out of my life. The word “devastated” didn’t even come close to how I felt now.

Suddenly, Ian stood up and made a gesture to come towards me. I backed away, realizing then that I had been scared of the wrong person. It wasn’t only Dean who was a deviant. It was Ian, too. But Ian was worse. His actions were based solely upon his own selfish needs.

“Tyler, come on. It’s me you’re talking to here. I would never hurt you.”

My heart drummed, knowing for a fact that lies were spilling from his mouth. “Did you know that Dean was watching that day?” The words came out of me naturally. If he had gone far enough to get Dean’s whole family away from me, who was to say just how far he would have gone.