Diary of a Rocker's Kid (D.O.R.K #1) (18 page)

I make a pouty face. “Okay.”

After he leaves, I remember why he wants to talk to me, and I suddenly need an ass-ton more alcohol.

***

I wake up in my bed the next morning with a pounding headache and no clue how I got home. My stomach churns, and the sensation of liquid crawling up my esophagus sends me stumbling to the bathroom. Reeling over the toilet, I empty the contents of my stomach in two rounds and wipe my mouth, crying a little in my misery. This is the suckiest feeling in the world. I’ll never drink that much in that short a time again.

The events of last night start coming back, and I remember having a lot more shots. Ana and Jerica tried to get me to slow down, but the more I drank, the more I forgot. At the time, I didn’t fully realize it wasn’t going to be worth it in the morning. Now I have shit to deal with
and
a hangover, so…next time, I’ll probably just stick with the four shots.

Dad comes into the bathroom and knocks on the open door. “You okay, baby girl?” He sounds upset and sympathetic all at once.

“Not yet,” I say, and another round of misery hurls itself from my being. Dad kneels next to me and holds my hair, and then he rubs my back when I’m done. “I’m really sorry, Dad,” I whisper hoarsely.

“It’s all right. I’m not happy about what you did, but I’m glad you made it home safely. Ana and Jerica brought you home around one a.m.”

I sit back on my heels, and Dad brushes hair out of my face. Tears fall, and he wipes them away. “I just didn’t want to feel like shit anymore.”

“I understand. Believe me, I do.” Dad takes me in his arms and holds me tight. “I guess I’ll give you one freebie as long as you swear not to do it again.”

“I swear.” I nod against him, and he kisses the top of my head.

***

After a while, I take a shower and head over to Gio’s house. I’m let in the door by their housekeeper, and Gio immediately races down from his bedroom to talk to me. We go into a side room and sit down on a plush love seat. Gio smiles when I lean back, groan, and rub my head.

“Rough morning, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s the worst,” I say. “Did you see anything else that happened to me last night?”

“Nah, I headed home. You were the reason I was drinking, so after agreeing to talk to you, I didn’t need to drink anymore.”

I smile through the pain in my head. “You were drinking because of me?”

“Yeah. The last few days have really sucked without you.”

“They sucked for me too.” I feel comforted by the smile in his eyes. “Remind me why we broke up again?”

“You have a twin sister who broke my heart,” he says, effectively breaking the spell.

“Right.” I look down at my hands in my lap, hating the distance this revealed secret put between us.

“But here’s the thing…I don’t care. You’re not Raven. I don’t even think about her when I’m with you.”

“That’s not true. I’ve seen the pain in your face when you kiss me.”

“That’s only because I was afraid you would hurt me like she did,” Gio explains. Then darkness passes over his features. “Well…like she and my mother did.”

“What happened with your mother?” I ask. “I mean, if you don’t mind telling me.”

“Well…” He takes a deep breath, clearly uncomfortable with this topic, but enduring it for my sake. “Obviously, Papa came out as gay a few years ago, which was great. I was happy for him and Steph. Unfortunately, my mother felt so humiliated and rejected by him that she picked up and left everything, including me. She tried to work out a custody agreement, but the only one they could come up with was me going out there for the summer. I didn’t want to live in Italy full-time, and she refused to come back here, so…it just worked out that now we’re living separate lives. It felt like she abandoned me, though—”

“She did,” I whisper, hoping I’m not making it worse by confirming his thoughts.

He clenches his eyes shut, wincing in pain, and his gaze drops to the coffee table in front of us. “Yeah, so…I know exactly how you feel.”

I lean against his shoulder, and he wraps his arms around me. We sit like that for a while, and I rejoice a little over the fact that he’s finally letting me in. “Gio…I’m so sorry. It hurt bad enough knowing I’d been abandoned all these years. I can’t imagine being old enough to remember it happening.”

I can hear his smirk. “Yeah, well at least I didn’t end up with a ‘fame name’ based on it.”

I chuckle. “True…our lives suck, don’t they?”

“Pretty much…but mine’s sucked a lot less since I met you.” I smile as he presses a kiss to the top of my head and leans his head against me. “It’s funny…I barely know you, but I trust you. You don’t seem like the type to abandon someone you care about.”

“I’m not.” My smile fades. “I am faced with a dilemma, though.”

“What’s that?”

I blow out a deep sigh. “Well…I came here to confront my mother, but now there’s a twin sister involved. I was going to try to stick around until they got back, but now I’m not sure I want to meet them at all. If I decide to, being with you might complicate things.”

Gio freezes for a second, and then he releases me. “I see.”

I turn to him, scared by the anger I see on his face. He went from tender to murderous in the blink of an eye. “I’m sorry, but they’re family, and I came all this way to meet them—”

“You do know they’re both
batshit crazy
, right?” Gio’s face is taken over by a scowl.

“I know…I don’t want to become them. I just want to yell at my mother.”

Gio softens a little bit, but he shakes his head. “Trust me, you don’t want to go anywhere near them. They might seem innocent, but they’re not to be messed with.”

“I know they’re not innocent. That’s why I want to meet them. I want to give Jacie a piece of my mind.”

“No good can come from that. I mean, they’re your family, so obviously it’s your decision, but it just seems like that might cause more harm than good.”

I set my jaw, feeling the heat emanating from my eyes. “You’re right.
My
‘family,’ my decision.”

Gio hesitates, but then he nods and doesn’t press it further. “Anyway…is there any hope for us? I want to know now if there’s not. I can’t stand another relationship gone bad.”

I sigh and twist my hands in my lap. “I guess…I just need to know you’re totally over her.”

“I am,” Gio assures me. “As soon as I realized she was using me for my popularity, I lost all feelings for her. I can’t even stand to look at her.” I give him a significant look, but he doesn’t get it. “What?”

“When you’re looking at me, you’re basically looking at her,” I remind him, but he shakes his head vehemently.

“That is not true.” He reaches up to comb his fingers through my hair. “When I look at you, Madison Daley, all I see is
you
. Your eyes, your smile, your adorable crooked chin…” He brushes a finger against my chin with a sweet little half-smile. “You’re the only offspring of Jacie Redinger’s I give a damn about now. In fact, you’re the only girl
anywhere
I care enough about to fight for.”

The hard shell that formed around my heart when I learned my mother’s identity weakens ever so slightly. “You mean that?”

“Yes. Going without your kisses for the last few days has been pure hell. What I told you in the pool that day…you remember? When you asked me what I said?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“I said, ‘You will be my downfall. I like you too much.’”

My heart melts into a lake in my chest, and a full smile grows on my face. Gio and I link fingers, and he continues.

“I meant every word. Back then, I was terrified of how much I wanted you. I was afraid you were going to shatter my heart. I’m not scared of my feelings anymore. I want
you
, Madness. No one else. Whatever I have to do to make you feel better around me, just name it. I’ll do anything.”

I think for a minute, and then I come up with a condition for our reunion. “Well…if we do get back together, you have to promise you’re always going to be straight with me. If you start thinking of me as Raven or hating me because I look like her, just tell me. Don’t bury it or try to push your feelings away.”

“I can do that,” Gio says with a nod. “And you have to promise you’re not going to use me for publicity.” I belly-laugh for the first time since I found out who my mother was. “I’m serious!”

“Gio, I don’t give a flying fuck about publicity,” I say through my giggles. “Trust me, you picked the right girl if you want someone who likes you for you.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” he says with a smile. “I love your laugh.”

“I love yours too.” I lean into him as he inches his face closer to mine. One look into his longing eyes sends every doubt about how much he likes me flying out the window. Raven was never a real girlfriend, which means there’s no reason to feel awkward around each other. Gio is mine, I am his, and we have a chance at happiness, which both of us really need right now.

“I miss you, babe,” he whispers, and I respond by falling into his lips. We melt into each other’s embrace, kissing with renewed fervor and holding each other close, never wanting to let go.

Only one thing can overshadow this reunion now…the fact that I’m leaving in a week.

Chapter 20

June 28, 2015

Going on the Red Carpet

Things are looking up ever so slightly. I have my gorgeous Italian back, and even though the crazy make out sessions aren’t happening anymore, we still have a good time playing games, hanging out with my family by the pool, and talking about life under the stars in his hot tub. So far, I haven’t needed any more wild nights at the club. Gio is keeping me sane, and he’s even about to give me the best experience of my life.

Nope, not sex. We’re not quite there yet.

Instead, Gio is staying true to his word. I’m his date to Alfonzo Abate’s movie premiere. Dad agreed to extend our vacation indefinitely because of the premiere, and also because things are going really well with Cass. They’ve been inseparable for the past three weeks, and I know the last thing Dad wants is to leave her. Cass really feels like a family member now…kind of like an older sister and a mother replacement all at once. I love her to death, and if Dad ever breaks her heart, I’m gonna put the hurt on him big-time.

Anyway, back to the premiere. There are way more preparations that have to be made than I ever imagined. The day of, I’ll need to go to the salon, and I also I have a fitting for a custom-made dress at Stephan Lowe Designs tomorrow. Ana hates me for it. She’s sooo jealous…but she’ll probably be a model for him after high school anyway, so I’m sure she’ll get her day in the sun. I was never a dress wearer before I came to L.A., but I’m quickly becoming obsessed with them. After all, they remind people I’m a girl even though I act like a total dude.

My main worry is that I’m going to get mistaken for Raven out there on the red carpet. I’ve been mistaken for her everywhere else, and if I go in front of the cameras with Gio and they call me Raven, well…that’s going to be awkward, to say the least. There’s got to be something I can do to keep that from happening. Maybe I could paint the words “I’m Not Raven” on my forehead or something.

I’m a little terrified about going in front of all these people, to be honest. Whoever didn’t see me on the Johnny McIntyre show is bound to see me here. Whenever I go out in public, I’m opening myself up to even more scrutiny and criticism. At least I’ll have major bragging rights. Giovanni Abate is my date, and everyone’s going to know after this how much he likes me.

Ttyl,

Mads

***

The next day, Gio drives Ana and me to Stephan Lowe Designs on Rodeo Drive. The store is three stories high, and the front façade is lined with nothing but tinted windows. When we enter the store, there’s an entry area with a white, clean, modern winding staircase that connects to the second and third floors. Gio leads us up the stairs all the way to the top, and then he takes us to the right down a hallway with a lot of rooms. He explains to us on the way that this is where the magic happens: fittings, staff meetings, and so on.

At the very end of the hall, Gio knocks on the door with the name plate that reads
‘
Stephan Lowe
.’
“Come in!” Steph answers from inside, and Gio opens the door and lets me enter the room first. “Madison! Darling, I’m so glad you could come.” Steph stands from behind his giant oak desk to greet me with a warm smile that spreads all the way up to his eyebrows.

“Hi, Steph,” I say, still not fully believing I’m on a first-name basis with this person, let alone going out with his stepson.

Steph motions to me to join him behind his desk, and the three of us come over to look at the sketches he’s already drawn up. Steph says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of analyzing some of the clothes I’ve seen you wear thus far. You are a rocker girl through and through, am I right?”

“Damn straight!”

“Well, I’d like you to take a look at this one first.” He holds up one of the sketches for me. As I look it over, he describes exactly what it would look like: black and purple, one-strapped and backless, with a black lace overlay in the front and a large purple rose up near the left shoulder. The skirt would start midthigh length on the left side, and then it would cascade down below my feet on the right. He managed to capture my essence to a T.

“Oh, Steph, that is beyond perfection.” He shows me a couple more designs, and I politely look them over, but then I end up choosing the first one anyway.

Then he takes me into a room and stands me up on a platform while he takes my measurements. “Well, look at that sweet little booty! Girl, I’m a little jealous.”

I burst into giggles. “Thanks.” If Stephan Lowe says I have a nice ass, it’s
got
to be true. “It’s from years of mounting horses and hard farm labor.”

He continues to take my measurements and talks to Ana about upcoming fashion trends. Gio keeps his nose in his phone again, so I take the opportunity to take a good, hard look at myself in the mirror in front of me. I’m wearing my contacts and dark eye makeup along with an asymmetrical smoky-gray shirt and black jeans. My hair has some extra volume from this product Ana’s making me try, and all in all, aside from my skin tone, I’m really starting to look like an L.A. native. For the first time in years, I smile at myself in the mirror. An actor wants to take me on the red carpet. If that’s not a self-esteem booster, I don’t know what is.

***

The day before Alfonzo’s premiere, Cass, Ana, and I go shopping for my last minute accessories and miscellaneous items. I let them try on some clothes they wanted to buy while we’re out while I mentally criticize myself in front of the fitting room mirror.

“I want to look different,” I say out loud.

“What do you mean?” Cass comes out of her stall in a beautiful, flowing red dress. Her dates with Dad are getting more and more expensive, so she’s been buying a lot of new clothes lately. “You want to look different
how
?”

“Well, Raven is likely to be invited to this premiere, being an actress and all. I don’t want people to see me with Gio and think it’s her instead of me.”

“Hmm…that’s a
really
good point.” Cass motions me over to zip her up, and I help her. “What did you have in mind?”

“Is it too soon to dye my hair again?”

“It shouldn’t be,” Ana pipes up from her stall. “After all, it has been four weeks.”

“There’s a hairstyle I’ve always secretly wanted to try, and I think now would be the perfect opportunity. It’s something I doubt Raven Redinger would ever be seen dead in.”

“Sounds great,” Cass says. “After this, we’ll head to the salon.”

“Madison Daley just suggested a change in her own appearance.” Ana comes out of the stall in an emerald dress with an enthusiastic grin. “I have never been so proud.”

When we get to the salon, I tell Cass and Ana to go ahead and keep shopping without me. “It might take a while, and plus, I want you guys to be surprised.” They exchange a look of amusement and leave me to my devices.

I request Rick again for my stylist, and after a brief explanation of my desired hairstyle, he gushes over it, saying, “Girl, you’re going to burn that premiere down to the ground.”

Three hours later, after a tedious bleaching, rebleaching, and dying process, I call Cass and Ana back to the salon. I meet them in the waiting area, and their faces freeze in shock as soon as they see me. “
Oh. My. God
,” Cass says, awestruck.

I dyed my hair black except for my emo-reminiscent bangs, which are streaked with aqua and fall down to my right, ending at my ear. There are a few more aqua peekaboos, two just in front of my ears and two on the underside of my hair. Rick curled the bottom of it in natural-looking waves, and Angie got a hold of me too and practiced my makeup. I have black eyeliner and dark gray shadow with natural lips.

“What do you guys think?” I ask with a gigantic smile.

Ana looks like she might cry. “Mads…you look
famous
.”

***

Flashing lights through a darkened window. The smell of champagne and new leather seats. The clamor of reporters and fans yelling outside the limo. The feeling of Gio holding my hand and rubbing the side of it with his thumb. His whisper in my ear, “This is it. You ready?”

This is it.
My first ever red carpet premiere. I don’t know whether to puke, faint, or develop a God complex.
Am
I ready?

The driver comes around the side and opens the door, and Alfonzo and Steph step out first. The roar Alfonzo is greeted with is nothing short of bewildering.

Gio squeezes my hand and says, “Let’s go.” I glance at him, briefly thinking how picture perfect he looks in a black tuxedo with his hair coiffed to the side. He looks like the star he is, and I’m so afraid I won’t measure up to him out there, but I nod, knowing I don’t have a choice but to step outside.

Gio steps out first, and the cheers for him aren’t quite as loud as his father’s but still respectable. He takes me by the hand and I step out, and I hear the cheers change to “ooh” and “ahh.” I smile, wanting to laugh at the abrupt change in reaction, but I manage to keep my composure.

I hear a reporter describing us as we pass by him. “Giovanni Abate just stepped out of the limo, and he’s holding hands with his date, Madison Daley, the daughter of the Grim Weeper. She’s wearing a Stephan Lowe original dress.”

Thank God they didn’t call me ‘Raven Redinger.’
We move on, and I don’t hear the rest of what he says.

On the way, Gio gets stopped for an interview with a major entertainment news channel, and he pulls me up beside him as he talks to the reporter in front of a camera. I hope nobody notices how hard I’m shaking. It’s just so surreal…

“Giovanni, how does it feel to be at another one of your father’s premieres?” the gorgeous, tall, blonde reporter asks him.

“Oh, it’s just another Saturday night for us,” Gio teases, grinning. I smile and watch him proudly. My prince truly is charming.

She laughs at his joke a little too loudly, and then she asks him a few more general questions about Alfonzo’s film. Then her attention turns to him and me. “So you’re here with Madison Daley tonight. Can you tell us what the situation is with you two?”

The ‘situation.’ Interesting word choice. I wish I knew the answer myself.

Gio says, “This beautiful girl is my neighbor and also my crush.”
“My crush”
…I guess I can live with that. “Her presence here today is actually the result of a bet. I promised I’d take her on the red carpet with me if she played me one of her songs. She’s every bit as talented as her father. I got the better end of that deal.”

The reporter gasps and turns full attention to me. “You’re a musician too?” She holds the microphone up to my mouth.

“Uhh…” I chuckle nervously and shoot Gio a what-the-fuck look. He cringes and mouths the word,
“Sorry.”
“Well…not professionally yet, but someday, I hope I will be.”

“That is so great! I can’t wait to hear your music,” she replies with enthusiasm.

I blush and smile. “Thanks.”

“I’m a huge W3 fan, by the way.”

“I’m getting that a lot,” I say, and we both chuckle. “They’re a lot more popular than I realized.”

“Especially with old people, like myself,” the reporter jokes. She looks like she’s about thirty.

“Oh stop it, you’re not old.”

She giggles, extremely flattered. “Thank you!” Another major star walks up behind us, so she cuts off the interview. “Well, congratulations, you two, and I hope you have a great rest of the evening.”

“Thanks, you too,” we both reply. Gio gives me an approving smile after we turn to walk down the rest of the way.

“You’re a natural,” he whispers, and we exchange a grin. Photographers are snapping pictures of us like crazy, especially when we smile at each other. Being part of the Abate-Lowe entourage guarantees that pictures of us are going to be all over the news tonight and tomorrow.

Things get a little clogged down the way, and I start to recognize the other celebs that are here for the premiere. I admire their designer clothes and perfect hair, proud that my own measures up and possibly stands out above the rest. My hair is in a voluminous half-up-half-down style and my eyeliner is, to use an incredibly annoying pop term, ‘on fleek.’

Then I spot one person down the way that makes my heart stop.

“Jacie,” I whisper, and I glance over at Gio. He seems concerned about seeing them, but then he reaches for my hand and squeezes it as if to say
It’s going to be okay.

Raven is with Jacie, wearing a strapless, sapphire-colored dress that has a long slit up the right side. For the first time, I notice her chest is bigger than mine, and I have to press back a snicker with my hand.

Guess who has implants already?

Jacie’s wearing a spectacular white-and-gold dress with a plunging neckline and a ruffled train down the back. She poses skillfully for the cameras, giving them a closed-lipped smile I’ve seen on my own face before. Raven’s lips are pursed, and she looks a bit irritated with the attention, yet she’s also posing like a model, and you can tell she’s determined to get in as many pictures as possible.