Diary of a Rocker's Kid (D.O.R.K #1) (20 page)

He misdirects his anger at me. “What the
hell
were you thinking? I searched the entire building for you!”

Jess flashes me an apologetic smirk and leaves me to Gio.

“Don’t yell at me, okay?” I beg him. “Just…just call me a cab or something. I don’t feel like partying right now.”

“Fine, but I’m coming with you.” Gio fumes out Italian words as he takes out his phone and calls us a cab. I sigh heavily as I watch him. Mother Dearest ruined what was supposed to be the best night of my life. I should have known. At least now I have the hope of clearing my name once and for all.

Gio and I climb into a cab ten minutes later, and he holds my hand even though he’s still angry with me. He stares out the window and mutters, “Well, at least you yelled at your mother.”

Chapter 22

July 6, 2015

That Was Easy…

My mission today was to get Dad to agree to let Jess claim me as her daughter. He agreed in an instant as soon as I mentioned Raven. I found out every word Jess told me was true. Dad took her to court for custody of Raven, and when he lost, he freaked out and did everything possible to avoid losing me too.

I’m not sure how to feel about him right now. Did he really have to hide those details from me? He says if he’d told me about the custody battle, he would have had to tell me about the Redingers, which I guess makes sense, but…damn. I’m so tired of all these lies and twisted stories. I wish someone would just be straight with me.

Unfortunately, Ana has to go home tomorrow because she already stayed later than her parents expected and they want her back. She was devastated about leaving Steph and Jerica, but Steph promised her a job when she comes back, and I think Jerica might be willing to keep in touch with her long-distance. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. A secret long-distance relationship is a huge risk for anyone, let alone someone whose family might disown them for it. Hopefully they’ll make it work. I think they’re one of the cutest couples I’ve ever seen.

My relationship with Gio is strained now. He was happy that I got to yell at Jess, but he was skeptical when I told him she wants to claim me as her daughter. He told me I’m taking a huge risk with this, and I guess I believe him, but…I dunno. Now that I’ve met her, I think there might be a human in there somewhere. She knew all the right things to say. Either she does have a human side, or she’s an extremely convincing, creepy liar.

Come to think of it, that’s a very real possibility. Shit…

So I guess both of my parents are convincing liars with dark pasts. Thank God I’m turning eighteen in three months.

Ttyl,

Mads

***

Dad, Jess, Raven, and I arrange a meeting at a fine dining restaurant downtown the next week. They rented it out, so it’s only going to be the four of us and no witnesses other than waiters and other restaurant staff. As I walk in the front door with Dad, my palms swim in sweat and my twitch returns. This is another case where things could either go really well, or they could end in catastrophe.

Dad and I arrive first, and we’re seated at a table in a far corner with fine upholstered white chairs and an immaculately set table. I stare down at the white plates with napkin-wrapped silverware in front of me, and Dad notices my nerves. He reaches over for my hand, looking every bit as anxious as I am, but trying not to let it show. He flashes me a smile, and I weakly return it.

Finally, Jess and Raven walk into the restaurant arm-in-arm. Jess smiles when she sees me, though her smile is also tempered with anxiety when she glances over at Dad. “Darling, good to see you again,” she says to me.

“Likewise,” I say, not wanting to be rude. Truthfully, I still want to throttle her, but I don’t want to ruin this with cutting remarks. Dad and I stand to greet them.

“Michael,” Jess says, nodding in his direction.

“Jessica,” Dad replies shortly. His gaze is fixated on Raven, and vice versa.

“This is Raven.” Jess nudges Raven toward Dad. “Raven, dear…this is your father.”

Raven smiles bravely and does not give any indication that this is the biggest moment of her life thus far. “Hello,” she says in a smoother version of my voice. She picked up just a hint of Jess’s accent.

“Hello,” Dad says, with seventeen years of pain in his eyes.

“Well, girls…allow me to present your twin sister,” Jacie says.

Raven and I lock eyes, and she gives me a smile that’s difficult to read. “Pleased to meet you.” Raven extends her hand to me as if I’m a business associate. It’s an odd way to react to meeting your sister, but I kind of understand. I’m not sure how to act right now, either. I shake her hand hesitantly, and both our eyes widen at the sensation that results when our hands touch. It’s as if half of my body has been gone for seventeen years, and now it’s finally whole.

“Likewise,” I repeat, unable to find any other words.

We sit down and make awkward small talk as we read the menus, and then we order our food. I steal a glance at Dad ever so often as we wait, and he is still fixated on Raven. Meeting her means a lot to him, and it’s making me feel a little insecure. What if he likes her better than he likes me?

Dad finally breaks the small talk exchange about five minutes after we get our appetizers. “So, Raven, tell me a little about your life. Where do you go to school?”

“I attend Wilcox High School,” Raven says. “I’ll be a junior this year.”

Ha. At least I’m a year ahead of her in school.

“Do you enjoy school?”

Raven smiles politely and shrugs. “It’s all right. I prefer socializing over sitting at a desk, though.”

“So, your favorite subject is lunch, then, right?” Dad says with a grin.

Her laugh is stiff, and somewhat forced. “Sort of. I also involve myself in a lot of committees and clubs within the school.”

“Very impressive!” Dad says. They continue to converse, and we find out that Raven was sophomore class president and a host of other important-sounding titles at Wilcox. No doubt Raven and Gio were that stereotypical king and queen couple everybody worshipped and idolized before he found out their relationship was fake. I’m already feeling pretty threatened by her, but I silently gnaw on bites of octopus, keeping my thoughts to myself.

After we receive our main dishes, Jess addresses the issues at hand. “Well, everyone, there is more than one reason why I suggested this reunion. The first, of course, being that neither of us knew our other daughter, but I was also thinking that perhaps now would be a good time to make the rest of the world aware of the connection between us. No one knows that either of us have two daughters, and if we’re going to be getting acquainted with each other, it would be nice to be able to do so publicly without speculation and scandal attached. We can handle this however you decide, Michael, but I was thinking that perhaps the four of us could attend a joint interview and reveal this information in an official manner before it reaches the gossip sites.”

Dad lets out a labored sigh. “You make a good point, Jessica…however, I’m sure you realize that as soon as we come forward with this information, there won’t be a moment of peace for either one of us.”

“The media will be hounding us night and day, no doubt,” Jess says. “However, I don’t see another good way to do this, unless you just want to handle it all in secret.”

Dad ponders that suggestion, and then he stands from the table. “Could we talk privately for a moment, please?” I shoot him a terrified look.
You’re leaving me alone with Raven? Seriously?
He pats me on the shoulder like
You’ll be okay.

Jess and Dad leave the table and go into a back hallway to discuss things, which leaves me at a table with Raven Redinger, alone. I avoid eye contact with her and focus on my food, but then she speaks to me. “So you’re the famous Madison Daley.”

“And you’re the infamous Raven Redinger,” I blurt out, and then I glance up in horror.
Shit! I shouldn’t have said that…

To my surprise, she laughs…a
real
laugh. “So you’ve heard my life story, I suppose.”

“Bits of it, yes.” I return to my food.

“Well, I must say, I’ve heard quite a bit about you too, and…I’m a
big
fan of your work.”

Now she has my full attention. “My work?”

Raven leans forward with her hands clasped above the table. “I’ve heard about your…what do you call them again? ‘Missions?’ I especially loved the one where you organized the W3 reunion. That was a
brilliant
publicity move.” Her eyes rolled back in her head at the word ‘brilliant.’

“Um…thank you.”
How the hell did she hear about my missions?

“However, I do think your skills could use a little fine-tuning, which is why I have a proposition for you. If you agree to what our mother is suggesting, I would love to take you under my wing and show you how you can
really
make it in this city. You’ve already shown a great deal of potential. I mean, in one short month, you went from a Kentucky nobody to the show-stealer of last week’s premiere.” She’s right about that. My debut at last week’s premiere was talked about for several days afterwards. “It takes a lot to impress me, but I truly am impressed, and I believe if you and I joined forces, we could take Los Angeles by storm.”

I sit in stunned silence, trying to comprehend what she’s asking of me. She wants to ‘
join forces and take me under her wing.’
What does that even mean? “Are you…proposing an alliance?”

A delighted smile spreads across her face. “You understood me perfectly.”

This is so fucking weird. I’m meeting my
sister
, and she’s treating me like a diplomat from another country. “Uh…what all would this alliance entail?”

“I’ll fill you in on the details once you give me a yes or no answer,” Raven says.

Making a deal with a she-devil without even knowing her terms? That’s a scary thought. “Uh…I dunno. I mean, I’ve heard what you do to people—”

“You should know, I’m not just proposing this because of the mutual benefits. I’d also like to get to know my sister. We have years of shopping trips, manicures, and swooning over boys to catch up on, and I think this plan would be the perfect opportunity for that.”

I smile in spite of myself. “Really?”

“Yes. I know you’ve probably heard some horrible things about me, but we can carry out my plan however you want. The terms are completely up to you. There’s only one thing that would hinder us, which is why I have one term of my own.”

“What’s that?”

“If you want things to work between us, I…I need you to break up with my ex.”

I break out in a cold sweat. “What? But…I thought your relationship was a fake.”

Raven chuckles. “Of course you did. That’s what he tells
all
the girls, but it’s not true. Our relationship was real, and he cheated on me. I hate to tell you, darling, but your boyfriend has been feeding you a pack of lies.”

“Oh God…” My breathing becomes labored. I’m not sure if I should believe her or not, but a part of me does. Gio’s too good to be true. Maybe this is the massive flaw I’ve been waiting on.

“I think it might be best if you break up with him, not only because he’s going to hurt you, but also because dating my ex goes against sister code. It doesn’t look good to the public,
especially
since he cheated on me so publicly. If there are ever to be any true family ties between us, public or private, we need to start fresh.”

“I’m sorry, Raven, I…I didn’t know.”

“I’ll expect my answer before we go public with our relationship,” Raven says, and at that moment, Dad and Jess come back to join us at the table.

“Well, girls, she made a good case.” Dad lowers himself into his chair again. “We’re goin’ public, as long as you’re both on board.”

“I’m on board,” Raven says with a smile. Then she gives me a significant look. “Are you?”

“We can go public,” I say, carefully choosing my words. I still have my doubts about Raven, especially considering that dogged determination I see in her eyes.

Chapter 23

July 15, 2015

Prince Cheater

Gio has been my unofficial boyfriend for the last two and a half weeks. We’ve done everything together…hosting parties, hanging out at the beach, watching movies and gaming from dusk until dawn…oh, and of course, attending a movie premiere together, where everyone in the country heard him call me his “crush.” The only thing we haven’t done is the “deed,” and now…I’m thinking maybe I made the right choice.

After talking to Raven today, I looked up Gio’s cheating scandal. The cheating looks very real. Some of the pictures were even R-rated. He kissed all over some half-naked blonde chick right in front of everyone at a club before he broke up with Raven. Also, after the scandal, he was seen with the same girl again in public. Their relationship didn’t last long, but I’m sure that was still a slap in the face for Raven.

Then I looked up “Ravanni,” and I have to say, that looks pretty real too. At least, from his end…it’s hard to tell with Raven. They had a three month relationship full of parties, paparazzi, and millions of fans obsessing over them. I’m not really sure how I missed it. I’m not obsessed with celebrity gossip, but Ana is, so she should have caught this. I guess we were both too nose-deep in the first months of school back then to pay attention. Anyway, real or not, Raven’s right. My going out with him completely undermines our family ties, especially in the public eye.

The truth is, I love hanging out with Gio, but seeing those pictures made me want to hurl and never speak to him again. If their relationship was real, he betrayed Raven in the worst way possible. Then he proceeded to tell everyone their relationship was fake so it wouldn’t seem so bad. If he was telling the truth, he still should have broken up with her before causing a big scene like that. His actions scream “publicity stunt.” I don’t think he’s quite as innocent as he claims to be.

Whatever the case, I can’t take the chance of being hurt like that. I’ve had enough public humiliation for one lifetime. As much as it kills me, I think I’m about to say good-bye to my “Prince Charming.”

God, this is going to suck…I hope I can stay strong.

Ttyl,

Mads

***

Right after clicking Submit, I head over to Gio’s place. I’m let in their front gate, and I wipe at my tears all the way up the driveway to his front door.

Gio opens the door, and as soon as he sees my face, he guesses what happened. “She told you that you have to break up with me, didn’t she?” He looks more pissed off than I’ve ever seen him.

“She didn’t say I ‘have to,’ but she did tell me your relationship was real.”

“That is a lie and you know it!” He growls something else in Italian, but I hold up a hand.

“Gio, I…I saw the pictures,” I whisper through my tears.

Gio sighs and leans against the doorjamb. “I should have told you not to do that.” He rubs his forehead wearily, and then he looks into my eyes. “Are you okay?”

“No…not really.”

“I’m so sorry you had to see that. Really, I am. I wish that nasty scandal would go away for good.”

I look into his beautiful face, so full of remorse, and I lose an ounce of my resolve.
God, he’s so amazing…

No. Stay strong.

“Listen…whether or not it was real for her, it was real for you, and you cheated. The honorable thing to do would have been to break up with her before going out with that girl, but you didn’t.”

Gio nods. “I know that now, but back then, I wanted to hurt her. I wanted revenge. She crushed my soul, and I just wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine.”

Damn…I can’t argue with that response. What now?

“Madness, please don’t tell me you believe her over me.” His expression is laced with pain, and I feel my own soul crumpling.

“I don’t know what to believe, but…honestly, being caught between Raven and you all the time isn’t going to work. She’s a part of my life now. We’re coming out as a family. I…I just need to keep the peace.”

Gio clenches his jaw, and his eyes water up. “So that’s it? You’re just going to throw us away to ‘keep the peace?’”

“Gio, this relationship—or whatever it is—was always going to end. It was only a matter of time. This is our expiration date. It’s…it’s just something I need to do. I hope you understand.”

He just stares at me in silence with disbelief.

“Please…try to understand,” I beg. “I couldn’t stand it if you hated me.”

He swallows the anger down, and the muscles in his face twitch as he tries to control his emotions. Hurting him like this is going to haunt me. I almost lose my resolve when a single tear slides down his cheek. “I knew she was going to do this. I
knew
she was going to take you away.”

“We can still be friends—” I start, but he shakes his head.

“No. No, we can’t…and don’t come crying to me when she destroys you.” He stomps into the house and slams the door shut, not even looking back over his shoulder.

***

Four days later, I stand alone by the window in my new bedroom that looks out over the pool. My old one looked right out at Gio’s house, and I couldn’t take the reminder of what happened with him, so Dad and Cass helped me move all my things. For the past three nights, I’ve heard nothing but partying and girls’ voices coming from Gio’s backyard. To cover the noise, I’ve been spending all my time on music.

I take Dad’s guitar from its stand and crank up the lone amp that’s in my room to the highest level. The only thing that makes me feel better right now is drowning in sound. Shredding along with my favorite songs is the only therapy I’ll ever need. It helps me forget the world exists for a while. I’ve also been sneaking shots of vodka from Dad’s liquor fridge to ease the pain and help me forget.

Dad knocks forcefully on the door, and I stop playing, hide the shot glasses, and yell at him to come in. “Hey, baby girl,” he says in a gentle tone of voice. Everybody’s been walking on eggshells around me lately. “You doin’ all right?”

“No, but what else is new?” I pause the music on my laptop, set the guitar down on the stand, and sit on the edge of the bed. Immediately, I hear the sounds of Gio and his friends partying next door, and I drop my forehead into my palms.

“Hey…don’t let him get to you.” Dad sits down beside me and wraps an arm around me. “You stood up for yourself and made the decision you thought was right.”

“Then why do I feel like the stupidest girl alive?”

“You are not stupid at all. You’re brave, you’re strong, and you’re going to get through this one day at a time.” I lean against him, and he smells my breath. “Do I smell alcohol?”

“Oh…yeah, I…I had to use some rubbing alcohol to get permanent marker off my hands,” I lie.

Dad raises an eyebrow. “Sweetheart, I know the smell of vodka well.”

I sigh and pull away. “Sorry.”

“Have you been sneakin’ my vodka up here?”

“Just little shots…” I shrug.

He stares me down. “No more lyin’, and no more stealin’ my liquor, all right?” I nod, and guilt is added to the long list of emotions I’m battling. “Anyway, I came up here to tell you that because of the Redingers and Cass, we’re movin’ here for good. I’ve already talked to Momma and Melissa and they’re gonna make permanent arrangements over there, so we don’t have to go back except to pack our things.”

“Yay.” My voice is flat and emotionless. There was a time when that news would have excited me, but now it just sounds like a jail sentence. Am I ever going to feel free again?
Anywhere?

“I know things are hard right now, sugar, but they’ll get better. You’ll see. We can find you a good school and let you have one year of high school before you go off to rock the world on your own.”

A corner of my mouth pulls up. It’s a small glimmer of hope in a dark world that my rock star dad believes in me. “Okay.”

“Be thinkin’ about which schools you’d like to go to, all right? I’m leavin’ it all up to you.”

I swallow hard. There’s only one school I’ve had my eye on, and I know it’s a longshot, but I have to try.

***

July 22, 2015

Mission Survival

I miss Ana. It’s been two weeks since she left, and I still have this gaping hole in my heart from the loss of my best friend’s presence. We are officially staying in L.A. with Cass now, which is great, but it sucks because I won’t be living near my BFF for a whole year.

On the positive side, most of my missions have worked out lately, so I’m hoping my new one is a sure win: Mission Survival. I decided I’m going to try to get into Wilcox High School. That’s where Raven goes, so I’m guaranteed to have at least one powerful alliance on my side. Unfortunately, Gio also goes there, so…yeah, this should be interesting.

My new mission is to keep on good terms with Raven so the most feared teenage girl in L.A. won’t be out to destroy me. I’m going to give her my answer when I see her in a week. That’s when we have the interview to trump all interviews: the big reveal of the Basket Baby’s mother. The show we’re going on has already advertised the reveal like crazy, but they haven’t given any clues about who my mother is. People everywhere are putting their theories out there and trying to assemble the puzzle for themselves before watching the interview. It’s kind of comical to watch. Do they really think those theories are going to have any effect on the truth whatsoever? I guess some people must just be really, really bored.

Anyway, that interview is the beginning of a “family press tour,” which starts in New York City in the first week of August. After that, Jess is taking me to meet her side of the family in London, which I am actually kind of excited about. Dad insisted on coming, of course…he’s not going to let me out of his sight whenever I’m with her.

Dad is still determined to stay off the stage, although I think it’s possible he might want to return after I graduate. We had a conversation about it a couple days ago, and I want to write down what he said, because I want to remember it when I start feeling guilty about keeping him off the stage.

Dad said, “Sweetie, being a parent and a rock star is really hard. One always has to suffer for the other. You’ve only got one year left before the world takes you away from me as an adult, and I don’t want to miss that year. Once you’re gone and doin’ your own thing, I’ll revisit the idea of going back to music, but until then, I’m your father first and forever. Nothin’ in this world could ever be important enough to take me away from my girl while she still needs me.”

He may have lied to me about a lot of things, but no one can say he doesn’t care about me. I guess I got lucky in the father department. The ending of my mother story remains to be seen.

***

It’s July 29, and I’m waiting behind the scenes of the daytime TV show that is announcing my mother’s identity to the world. Raven is sitting next to me, and Dad and Jess are sitting on opposite ends of the waiting area behind the set. My pulse quickened as soon as Raven walked in the room, and now that she’s sitting beside me, I know exactly what she’s about to ask.

“So, have you considered my offer?” she whispers.

“I have.”

“What’s your answer?”

I take a deep breath. “Our alliance would have to honor certain conditions. First off, I will not participate in any scheme that inflicts physical, emotional, or psychological harm.”

Raven smirks. “But where’s the fun in that?” My eyebrows go up sternly, and she sighs and says, “Go on.”

“If you involve me without my knowledge in a scheme that inflicts harm, my immunity stays intact, even if I refuse to participate in any more schemes.”

“All right.” She seems hesitant about that one. “Is that all?”

“Just one more. There will be no speaking on my behalf, overshadowing me, or impersonating me. I might be your protégé, but I’m still an individual who has a voice.”

“Well, I suppose I will have to work with what I can get,” Raven says. “When the show starts, just play along. As I told you, I’ve already got a plan in motion.”

“All right,” I say, feeling a little tense.

Dad and I are called on the set to talk to the pretty brunette host. She gives the audience a little introduction to us, and then, once a sufficient amount of suspense has been built up, she announces, “Would Madison Daley’s mother please come on out?”

Jess and Raven step out, and the audience falls silent in shock before erupting into cheers. The Redingers wave in appreciation and then take their seats next to Dad and me. Jess tells the story in a condensed version, and at the end, she turns to me. “I cannot begin to make up for the years I’ve lost with this girl, but I’m so glad she has seen fit to welcome me into her life now.”

The audience claps for us, and Jess gives me a little side hug. It’s the first physical affection I ever remember receiving from my mother, so I end up shedding a few tears.