Did You Read That Review ? (55 page)

Read Did You Read That Review ? Online

Authors: Amazon Reviewers

Tags: #Humor & Entertainment, #Humor, #Parodies, #Trivia & Fun Facts, #Reference, #Curiosities & Wonders

Montegrappa 18k-Gold Rollerball Pen

Check out the real thing:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B006ZYY15U

3.8 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Montegrappa Chaos Limited Edition 18k-Gold Rollerball Pen

ASIN:
     B006ZYY15U

Price:
     
$69,350.00

Sylvester Stallone’s “Chaos” pen is fashioned from precious materials and produced in limited numbers. The body of the pen is made of black, pearlized celluloid with overlays in solid 18k gold. The overlays are finished by hand by Montegrappa’s skilled craftsmen and feature an antiqued finish with accents in red and yellow translucent enamel to represent the colors of fire. The pen design is characterized by the juxtaposition of life and death, with reptiles representing the early forms of life on Earth, and the skull signifying death. The ultimate defining detail, bearing both a fist and a skull, is the pen’s clip in the form of a sword. The “Chaos” pen is the first from the “Cult” collection and is available as a limited edition of 100 rollerballs in solid 18k gold.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

384 of 392 people found the following review helpful

Cute pen, but watch out for the refills

By
C. Yu
, February 16, 2013

Nice pen, but I keep losing it. This is the third one I’ve had to buy. They should offer it in a box of 20. Be sure to look around for good deals on the refills, BTW. They really get you on the refills.

79 of 94 people found the following review helpful

Try as I might, it revisits me anon

By
Gregory Bogosian
, March 19, 2013

Day 453: I cannot seem to rid myself of this accursed instrument. Thus far, I have resorted to attempts at incineration, exorcism, a dip into the coldest waters of furthest Antarctica, and even the enchantments of a Voodoo Woman whose acquaintance I made through some of my more unscrupulous associates. Yet still, each morning when I awaken, I find it firmly ensconced in my trouser pocket, taunting me with its death’s-head grin as the slithering lizards entwined upon it also encircle my soul. At times, I have heard it gently calling my name from a space between my own ears, in a sinister aspect, as if to portend some ominous event yet unseen by mortal eyes, unimagined even in the darkest moments of Humanity’s struggle to attain civilization. Perhaps it is a relic of a bygone time prior to the rise of modern man, the last visitation of an ancient civilization upon an unsuspecting soul who is to be their pawn in an eternal game of human sacrifice, appeasing their God even as they have perished from the Earth. I must go now, as it once again begins to grow warm in my pocket (I dare not utilize it for its intended purpose, lest I willingly contribute to the evil imbued therein), and I suspect that it knows of my treachery in some dark recess of its twisted being and plots as yet toward my eventual fate at the hands of its cold cylinder of gold, steel, and suffering.

29 of 38 people found the following review helpful

Perfect for closing the deal

By
Hey_ross
, May 22, 2012

If you have decided it’s time to sell your soul to Satan, this is the pen you want for signing the contract. It’s easy to grip, loaded with great symbolism, and the ink flows freely. Being a rollerball, it is a little more complicated than expected to fill the ink cartridge with your blood or the blood of an innocent, hence the 4/5 review.

This pen is NOTHING without the watch

By
Neil Schwartzman
, July 24, 2013

I don’t know how anybody could own The Pen without owning the watch. It shows a complete lack of class to own one, without the other. Therefore, I spent my inheritance, and pledged myself to indentured servitude so I could own both, and come off as the classy guy that I am.

297 of 322 people found the following review helpful

Every night I have the same dream

By
Mayor McCheese
, January 31, 2012

I’m standing on the bank of the Brenta River; I hear the pope calling me from a distance. I try to call out to him, but we don’t have any signal where we are standing. I begin to feel a calm come over me, a warm embrace let’s say. I turn around, and I am completely amazed every time at who is standing behind me. It’s Bono. He says to me, “Why are you here with the pope on this river?” Startled, I reply, “I think this is a dream; nothing feels real.” Then I wake up. As always, I look over to my bed stand and there is my Montegrappa Chaos, the source of these dreams. Before you leave and disregard this in disbelief, let me ask you…Is Bono real? Is the pope REAL? The answer is yes. I can say this for sure because this pen is what brought the 3 of us together on this journey. Every day starts the same: the pope tries to make breakfast, and for 2 weeks now I’ve had to ask him not to put corn flakes in the toaster. Bono does not help this by encouraging Popey to throw eggs at my exotic fish. Let’s get back to the Pen. You can’t see the true infinite detail here on these pictures, but I promise you there is an ancient prophecy inscribed in the art. The gold, the hand-laid leafing, all wonderful, but the true value is the “secret.” This pen puts all others to shame, but sadly these pens cannot be held by the meek. The MCL, for short, is amazing. Once again, the item description doesn’t even scratch the surface. I will list for you the most amazing features:

-self-refilling ink

-writes underwater/upside down

-creates its own gravitational field

-spell check

-easily located if lost with built-in GPS or telepathy

-night-light

-ability to bring random people into being with you

-communicates with dead trees

-Wi-Fi/USB/320 DDRAM

-built-in vibrator with 3 speed settings

-remote control

-translates any language (except Yiddish)

-built-in parachute

-microphone/webcam

-82 mpg

-interface allows you to use pen on a computer screen and words will show as type

-fire retardant

-windproof

I’m sure I am missing some crucial information, but I cannot stress how much your life will change after this purchase. I must go now as I am being told Pope wants to go potty. Please use your best judgment and buy as many of these pens as you can get your hands on!

49 of 55 people found the following review helpful

Great gift!

Other books

The Shearing Gun by Renae Kaye
Face the Wind and Fly by Jenny Harper
The Four Johns by Ellery Queen
Black Adagio by Potocki, Wendy
The Attorney by Steve Martini
Written in the Stars by Xavier, Dilys
Cat Shout for Joy by Shirley Rousseau Murphy