Did You Read That Review ? (95 page)

4.6 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Mustache Pacifier

ASIN:
     B007M2OG86

Price:
     
$9.46

The Mustache Pacifier will bring the handlebar mustache back in style! Made from baby-grade silicone and nontoxic plastic, this funny pacifier keeps infants quiet, provides laughter for lucky parents, and comes with a handy storage shell. Babies will gain an innate appreciation for facial hair trends. Everyone is happy when the Mustachifier is equipped!

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

My godson turned into Tom Selleck

By
Richard Rodgers
, December 8, 2012

Do you have any trees on your property you want cut down but are too enthralled by the latest episode of
Breaking Bad
? Are you constantly being hassled by chicks? Get your baby this pacifier, and he’ll act not only as a resident lumberjack but he’ll also distract your lady friends even longer, allowing you to finish off that episode you’ve paused 8 times already.

gr8

By
Buffunny
, February 16, 2013

Got this for my friend’s grandbaby. She LOVED it since she herself has a mustache as well—just kidding. She would die if she knew I wrote this!

31 of 53 people found the following review helpful

WARNING: DOES NOT PACIFY MUSTACHES

By
Aaron A
, October 12, 2012

I’ll never buy from Fred & Friends again. This product was an utter disaster. I’ve worn a beard for 15 years, but when I got married, my wife asked me to start shaving my mustache. It was out of control. It had serious anger issues. There were times when it literally frightened my wife with its violence. That first shave was a painful experience. I’ll never forget the screams of hirsute horror. I saw the Mustache Pacifier and HAD to have one. I know my mustache can be a lot to handle, but it’s just so magnetic, so dastardly. Maybe it was just wishful thinking or some weird form of codependency, but I just knew someone must have finally figured out a way to pacify a mustache with anger issues. Make it more…genteel. When I received the product, it looked just as the pictures show, but maybe a bit smaller than I expected. I stopped shaving immediately and took to holding the pacifier between my lips just as the pictures showed whenever my burgeoning mustache started feeling unruly. At first, I thought things were working. Maybe I just wanted it to work that badly. After a week, my wife had completely stopped kissing me. She said she was becoming afraid again. Like before. After two weeks, I had to take time off work, for two reasons: 1) The mustache’s outbursts were becoming more frequent, and 2) I had to use the mustache pacifier more frequently as a result of (1). Clients were just as turned off by the pacifier as they were by the vitriol. Nevertheless, I believed. I used up all my vacation time for 2012 to try to make things work. I took personal days after that. Finally, I took a leave of absence. But now, 12 weeks in, I’ve got to be done. I’ve lost hope. I’ve lost everything but my wife, who will undoubtedly be next if I don’t just shave off the thing. Frankly, there might be one use left for the mustache pacifier before I just chuck it in the garbage. You know how kids will take any old piece of junk and turn it into a toy? I think, if I get up the courage to rid myself of the mustache, I’ll just give the stupid thing to my daughters. Maybe they’ll figure out a better use for it.

Best baby gift we got!

By
andy reno
, June 6, 2013

Yes, it is a one-trick pony…give the baby a mustache. But we love it, and we can’t go ten steps in public without total strangers laughing at it, smiling, or just telling us it’s great. Highly recommended for any parent with a sense of humor. Also makes pirate outfits 10x better.

Perfect!

By
BDun
, July 25, 2012

The perfect product for when your child needs to look like a “Sir.” If only I could find a baby monocle and top hat…

4.3 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Rasta Imposta Taco

ASIN:
     B00BLOEZP0

Price:
     
$23.99

Spice up your Halloween with a classic Mexican food as your costume.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

45 of 49 people found the following review helpful

Use Caution

By
Alan E. Schmidt “Monkey head”
, November 16, 2011

I write this from my hospital bed as I lay here slowly recovering from Night of the Taco. This is an excellent costume, but at one point I wished it had more padding. Much more. Big party, Halloween, needed to impress the chicks, saw this baby on Amazon, and I just knew. I knew my phone would be blowing up from the hotties after a night sporting this bad boy. I topped it off with the sombrero and strapped it down good using the drawstring. Oh yeah, the ladies were going to be butter. Wait till they see me break dance in full-on Taco suit. It is almost unfair for the other guys at the party. Too bad, so sad. Jimmy Ray picked me up in his pickup. With the suit, I could not fit in the cab. Had to ride in the back with his dog Cujo. At first Cujo just eyeballed me, sizing me up. The next events happened pretty quickly. It is all kind of a blur. Not sure at what point that Cujo decided that I was prey and eating me was an excellent choice. Not sure. What I am sure of…wearing this suit and standing up in the back of a truck doing 65 mph on a gravel road is a BAD idea. I took off like a kite in a hurricane. My last vision was the red taillights
reflecting off Cujo’s smiling face as he watched his meal take flight. A flying taco. That dog must be really confused now.