Different Senses (51 page)

“You have to tell the police
what you’ve done. If you confess, you’ll be treated much less
harshly.”

His big hands fluttered with
stress. “I can’t! If the reporters get hold of this, it will wreck
Tushar’s career.”

“I doubt that, but you can
resign if that’s true. Make sure people know who’s really
responsible.”

“And then who would he turn to?
You want him to go back to that miserable restaurant and let that
talent of his be wasted?”

“No, but I can’t just forget
about all of this either.”

“Why not? There’s no evidence
of my involvement.”

How could he not get how
serious this was? “No, but once I tell the police what you’ve told
me, they’ll start digging. You have a choice. You tell them, or
I’ll tell them. If you leave it to me, it will be so much
worse.”

He chewed his lip. “Please,
give me some time to minimise the damage.”

“One day. That’s all.”

“Two. Please, Javen, I need
that long. It’s for his sake, not mine.”

I heaved a sigh. “Day and a
half. Not an hour more. The morning of the day after next, I’m
going to the police myself to make a statement. If you know what’s
good for you, you’ll beat me to it. And you better not come up with
any more crazy ideas. Tushar doesn’t need stunts.”

“I was only trying to do the
best for him.”

“Goodbye, Lalit. I’ll make my
own way back from here.”

He nodded and I climbed out. I
really should have insisted he drove straight to the police
station. A day and a half was an awfully long time to let two
gun-waving, knife-wielding criminals go free. Damn the man.

He drove off slowly, and I
walked toward the street to hail a taxi. What a mess. It might not
wreck Tushar’s career but it would take the gloss off it, give
people the excuse to denigrate him because of his race, even if it
was his Kelon manager who’d come up with these schemes.

I needed to talk to Tushar, so
instead of asking the taxi to go to Yashi’s house, I told the
driver to head to Ursemin’s place. The police nodded me through as
an approved visitor. I found Tushar where I’d left him, in bed,
apparently asleep, but at the sound of my footsteps, he opened his
eyes. “Mmmm, Javen. I wondered where you were. Come here.”

I sat beside him and pulled him
into my arms. “Feeling better?” I said lightly, though my chest
felt drum-tight from stress.

“Yes. So tired. And hungry! I
never had anything to eat after all that.” He kissed me, and
despite my anxiety, I responded as I always would to his lush
mouth. “I need food.”

“Kitchen then. I’ll make
chai.”

“Are you all right? You sound a
little tense.”

He rubbed his hand up my chest,
and I smiled. “I’m okay, but I need to talk to you. Food first.
Don’t want you passing out.”

“Spirit save me, this sounds
serious.” He grinned. “But I need to eat!” He leapt out of bed and
headed to the main part of the house. I trailed behind him, feeling
like a worm. I was the one who’d crush him because I insisted on
doing the right thing, but he had such a talent. Did I have the
right to make people think less of it because of what his manager
had done?

I boiled water for chai, while
he devoured some of the snacks we’d bought at the rest station so
many hours before, and then some fruit. I set his mug of chai
before him, and sat down. “Lalit confessed the kidnapping was fake,
Tushar. He’s told me everything.”

He put his hand up to his
throat in shock. “A fake? How...why?”

“To generate publicity. And
there’s more. He also arranged the knife attack and the gunshots on
his house. Probably the bomb threat too.”

He shook his head, sending the
braids flying. “No. I don't believe you.”

“Tushar, he told me himself.
Ask him if you don’t believe him.”

“I will. He’s a good man and
would never hurt me.”

“Not intentionally, no. He says
he only wanted the best for you.”

“And he does. Why do you want
to hurt him? Hurt me?”

I stared. “He tried to frame an
innocent man for a serious crime. He ordered other people to commit
serious crimes, and let Mitul be blamed for them. Damn it, he
nearly had you killed!”

“Not deliberately, and I’m fine
now.”

“And the others? Don’t you care
about Mitul?”

He looked down. “You said he
had an alibi, and that horrible man is free now. I can go to the
police and say I won’t press charges.”

“
That’s not the
point
—”

“
What
is
the point, Javen?
What do you want me to do? Rush to the police and throw Lalit in
prison—the police who did nothing about Benay in the first place?
Sack Lalit? No. He’s my friend and a good man, and ultimately, no
one was hurt.”

“He broke the law. If he
doesn’t go to the police, I will.”

“And I’ll tell the police you
are lying out of jealousy. I won’t let you hurt him.”

I stared in disbelief at this
pretty creature I had come to care for so much, but who I didn’t
actually at all. “The police will find the truth and Lalit will
take you down with him.”

“No, that won’t happen. He
won’t let it happen, and neither will I. Javen, please.” His
expression softened. “You don’t understand how hard it’s been to
make people see me for who I am, despite my race. Lalit only wanted
people to hear my music.”

“People would have listened to
you anyway. Your talent is more than enough. You didn’t need all
this other stuff.”

He pursed his lips and looked
away.

“I’m still going to the
police.”

“Fine. I can’t stop you. But I
won’t help you. Please understand why.”

“I do, but I don’t understand—”
I gave up. “Lalit has until the day after tomorrow to speak to the
police voluntarily. I’d be happy to go with him, or both of you to
help. Trust me, it would be better for him to confess.”

“I know. Does this mean the end
for us, Javen?”

“I don’t want it to be. But I
need time to...make sense of a few things.”

“You know this will hurt all my
people, not just me.”

“Don’t you think I know that?
That’s why I’m giving the two of you this time!”

He pushed his chair back as if
to get away from my voice. “Please don’t yell. You’re scaring
me.”

“I’m sorry. Tushar, this is
wrong. What Lalit has done is wrong, very wrong. I swore once to
uphold the law, and even though I’m no longer a cop, I abide by
that oath as much as I can. I can overlook some things, but not
this.”

“People will hate him and blame
me.”

“Maybe. Or maybe they’ll
forgive him. He has to take responsibility.”

I leaned down and kissed him,
and he stroked my cheek. “The last thing I want to do is hurt
you.”

“And I don’t want to hurt you.
Let me speak to Lalit. I owe him that much.”

“Okay. Call me when you’ve made
your decision.”

“
Yes. Good night. Sleep
well,
malu
.”

I decided to walk part of the
way home. I needed time to sort out my feelings before I inflicted
myself on Yashi and Tara.

Tushar was prepared to lie and
cover up serious crimes, and no matter how I rationalised it, I
couldn’t accept that. I loved him, or at least, I was falling in
love. But a lover who lied? Who could brush aside crimes like this
for his career? Could I trust him not to do it again? And if I
couldn’t, then what?

I called a taxi and five
minutes later, it collected me from where I was walking. Tara threw
herself at me as I walked in, almost sobbing with relief. “Oh
Javen, we were so worried!”

“But you surely heard on the
news everything ended up fine.”

“Stupid man. We were still
worried. Come in and apologise for scaring us to death.”

The twins jumped on me and told
me off, as did Yashi, though he grinned while he did it. “Sorry,
guys. I had stuff to do and I forgot.”

“Uncle Javen is very naughty,”
Madhu decreed.

“
Yeah, he’s
bad
,”
Harshul yelled, right in my ear.

“Yes, I am.”

“No dessert for you!” he
shouted.

“Nope, none at all.”

“That’s enough, kids,” Yashi
said, still grinning. “Uncle Javen has suffered enough.”

“More than you know.”

He looked at me over Harshul’s
shoulder, but I shook my head to deter him from asking. I wasn’t
ready to talk about it.

Later, when the kids had gone
to bed, I felt I could tell them the bare minimum they needed to
know. After all, this crap would explode over my family too, if
only peripherally. “The kidnapping was a publicity stunt,” I told
them. “So were the other attacks. Tushar’s manager set it up
without his knowledge.”

Tara gasped a little. “I can’t
believe it. Did you know?”

Yashi frowned at his wife. “Of
course he didn’t know. Look at his face. What did you do when you
found out?”

“Told them to go to the police,
or I would. Tushar won’t give him up. Says he’ll lie to protect
him.”

“I’m sorry, brother. Is that
the end of you and Tushar?”

“I don’t know. It’ll be hard to
trust him. If either one of you lied about something this big,
tried to cover it up, would you forgive them?”

They looked at each other. “I
don’t know,” Tara said. “It wouldn’t be easy. But for the kids, I’d
have to try.”

“Deep down, I’d always expect
them to lie to me too one day,” Yashi said. “Tara being honest and
moral is such a big part of what I take for granted...a lie like
that.... I don’t envy you, Javen. The press will go crazy
again.”

“Yes, and this time, it’ll be
unpleasant. That’s why I wanted to warn you. Tara, things could
become hostile at school.”

“I’ll cope. Poor Javen,” she
said, stroking my arm. “You were so smitten.”

“Yes.” And Ursemin had known
that, which only made it worse.

Every time my phone went the
next day, I jumped. My nervous impatience infected the team and
made them snappish and miserable, to the point where I finally told
Prachi and Vik to go home. “I’m sorry, kids. I have no business
taking it out on you guys.”

“Can we help?” Prachi asked.
“Is it about the kidnapping?”

“
Yes, sort of, but no,
you can’t help. Thank you. Um...I might be foul tomorrow too. Just
know it’s not you, and if I’m too appalling, just tell me. Or tell
Madan and he can shoot me.” She giggled. At least the two of
them
left
in a better mood.

“
I
should
shoot you,”
Madan said. “But I’d rather you told me what’s up. This isn’t like
you at all.”

“If I tell you, it goes no
further.”

“I’d be insulted if I didn’t
know you’re half out of your mind worrying about something.”

“Yeah, sorry. It’s about Tushar
and Ursemin.”

I told him everything I knew or
suspected. He wasn’t as shocked as I expected, and it made me
wonder just how deep my self-delusion had gone. “Did I do the wrong
thing? Giving them time to sort things out?”

“Arguably, but who could blame
you? But he hasn’t called.”

“
No. I don’t
want
to be
the one who kills his career.”

“You won’t be. You know you
have to go to the police. Even if we weren’t ex-cops, it’s the only
honourable thing to do.”

I knew that,
but....
Damn you, Tushar,
call!

He didn’t. Neither of
them did. I even thought about going over to encourage them, but in
the end I didn’t. This had to be them doing the right thing
because
it
was the right thing.

I slept badly and woke
depressed and resigned. No messages, no missed calls. Perhaps they
thought I wouldn't go through with it. Perhaps Ursemin counted on
my feelings for Tushar to stay my hand. If so, he was wrong.

It was Yashi’s late morning, so
he was still home when I woke up. “Running late today?” he asked as
I stumbled into the kitchen looking for caffeine.

“I, uh...have something to do
before I go to work.”

“You look bloody terrible. Are
you sick?”

“Heart trouble.”

He straightened in alarm, but
then realised what I meant. “I’m sorry, Javen. Do you want me to
come with you? I can easily put things off at the clinic for a
couple of hours.”

So tempting to lean on my
beloved twin. “Thanks, but I’ll be okay. Just...be home
tonight?”

“Of course.” He startled me by
giving me a brief, strong-armed hug. “If he doesn’t do what he
should do, then he’s not the man you thought he was.”

“But maybe the man I thought he
was, was too idealised for anyone to be.”

“Expecting someone to tell you
the truth isn’t idealistic. It’s natural. Have some chai. I don’t
have to go just yet. Are you in a hurry?”

Any delay was welcome. “No. Sit
with me, Yashi. Talk to me about the kids, and the baby.”

~~~~~~~~

Lieutenant Mahre agreed to meet
me, but as soon as I mentioned it was about the kidnapping, he
said, “Uh, I thought you’d heard.”

“What?” A sharp burst of hope
filled me. “Has Sri Ursemin been in touch?”

“Yes. Are you here to tell me
the same thing? That he and Sri Tushar have gone to Kelon so Sri
Tushar can take up a recording contract there?”

I stared open-mouthed at him.
“I guess you aren’t,” he said. “Let’s start from the
beginning.”

“No, wait...Kelon?”

“Yes. Permanently, he said. On
the first flight this morning. He let us know that he wouldn’t be
able to assist further in investigating the kidnapping or the other
assaults. I told him it was unfortunate, but couldn’t be
helped.”