Dipping Into Sin (a BWWM Alpha Male Romance) (14 page)

“Grandma! Please hurry! I think my water broke!” I shouted as I looked down at the pool of water beneath her feet in the bathroom.

Throwing the strap of the hospital bag over her shoulder, Grandma began dialling the number to Dr. Nostrum’s office.

The scheduled C-section was not for another week and a half. The girls had another plan for me. Am I ready to be a mother?
I asked myself.

“Hello, this is May-lee Bradshaw. Can you page Dr. Nostrum? Please tell him that Simone Sinn’s water broke, and we are heading to the hospital right now. Thank you, Joanne,” said Grandma calmly. She grabbed the long burgundy maternity maxi dress from my closet and my black flip-flop sandals.

“Baby, you have to change your clothes and put your sandals on now,” she said gently. Looking up at my grandmother with glistening tears, I began to pull off my nightgown and put the dress on.

“Grandma, I don’t think that I am ready to be a mother to three baby girls. I’m scared,” I said.

“Honey, we are never truly ready for motherhood. We are going to get through this together. Do not worry. Once you see those babies, you will do everything in your power to be the best mother to them. You’ll see,” she said reassuringly, as she took hold of my hand and led me out of the bathroom in the direction of the front door.

Immediately after walking out the front door, I felt my first wave of contractions. With a yelp and deep breathing, I climbed into the car and sat down.

Five hours later, I welcomed Jasmine, Acelia, and Olivia into this world. Looking down at all three of my babies, I knew instantly that my grandmother’s prophecy rang true.
I will be the best mother to my three girls
, I vowed silently.

Olivia was the last to be born and was the smallest among her sisters. She remained in the hospital for the first four weeks of her life. I cried often, as I watched my tiny fighter overcome her challenges in order to sustain life. Those were the most draining weeks of my life. I would breastfeed Jasmine and Acelia, put them to sleep, pump breast milk into 14 bottles, and travel to the hospital to breastfeed Olivia. Olivia and I would have skin-to-skin contact in a secluded room three hours a day. I brought eight bottles for her every day so that she could have breast milk in a bottle while I was home with her sisters. Even as tiredness gnawed at me, I developed this super strength after my daughters were born. When Olivia finally came home after four weeks in the neonatal unit, I finally felt complete.

For the first three months, I stayed home with the babies. I don’t know how I got through the first three months as a new mom to multiples. At three months old, I had set a routine for each of them. After I breastfed all three, Grandma and I would burp each of them, change their diapers, pray with them, and rub each of their backs until they drifted off to sleep. Somehow my senses became ultra-sensitive, as I knew at exactly which time in the morning each of my daughters would wake up. By the time I returned back to work, I had them each on a nap and bottle schedule. I would get off work and rush home to put them to bed.

As much as I wanted to be home with my girls, I knew that I had to get a job to support us. I worked as a direct care worker for a family and children’s service agency. Even though, the pay rate was $10 an hour, I tried to work forty hours or more per week. I was able to get health insurance coverage for the girls and was able to provide financially. After the girls turned one, I enrolled at the local state college as a part-time student. I went to work at 4:30 in the morning, left work at three o’clock in the afternoon and was home by 3:20. By 4:45 PM, I would feed the girls their dinner and have them showered and in bed by 5:50 PM. When the girls went to bed at six o’clock at night, I would jet over to school to attend my seven o’clock classes.

Choosing to keep my daughters meant that I would not be able to become a doctor, and I happily accepted my decision. Although there were nights that I wanted to cry because I was tired, frustrated, and sad, I always remembered my babies. It became especially hard when one would get sick, and another would become sick shortly after. By my third year in college, I was admitted into the nursing program.

“G
ood evening, I will be your nurse today. My name is Simone. If you need anything, please push this button, and I will come right away,” I said to my first patient at the start of my shift. This was my third week on the job, and I was starting to get used to my rounds. Although I’m not with the girls in the evening, I thank God that Grandma is with them. She adores her great-grandbabies.

I was blessed to have three incredible girls with three different personalities. Jasmine and Acelia were identical twins and looked exactly like Andriano, from their piercing grey eyes to their olive complexion. Olivia was a combination of Andriano and me. She looked like me but had vivid green eyes that changed colors. She was a few shades darker than her sisters and has long curly dark brown hair, while her sisters have long wavy dirty blond hair.

God, please continue to bless my grandmother and Victoria
, I said every morning. Grandma would often say that her little angels kept her feeling youthful. They would often plant in her backyard and take walks to the park. Victoria still came two weekends out of the month. When I finally graduated with my bachelor’s degree in nursing and passed the board exams, I never felt more accomplished in my life. The first place that I applied to as a registered nurse hired me right on the spot. My daughters were smart, healthy five-year-olds in kindergarten, and I was finally stable.

“When are you going to let me take you out?” Startled, I jumped up and turned around to face the handsome Dr. Stuart Jackson. This was the fourth time since I started working here that he asked me out. He had a reputation for being with all of the new nurses, and I didn’t want to be added to his body count. His caramel skin and sensuous lips reminded me of what I was missing. For five years, my life was dedicated to my daughters, work, and school. Dating was the last thing that I wanted to do, but when I got lonely I would pull out Mr. Black. Mr. Black was the closest thing to the real dick and did a good job tickling my clit with its bunny ears.

“I’m still not interested,” I said, as I gathered the charts from the filing cabinet and walked past him. Truthfully, there was only one man who tortured me at night…
Andriano
. Even after five years, he still caused me to get wet just by thinking about his fingers, lips, and dick. The last time Victoria and I spoke about him was on the night of his engagement party. I’m sure by now, he has settled down with Josephine and probably is raising young mafia children. I swallowed the lump that was harbored in my throat and held back the tears at the thought of his happy ending.
I have my beautiful daughters…thank God,
I thought each time I wanted to cry. Looking down at my phone that was now buzzing in my pocket, I saw that Victoria called three times and sent me two text messages that read:
CALL ME NOW!!!

“Hey Diane, I’m going to take my fifteen now,” I told the head nurse who nodded her head, without looking away from the computer. Walking into the employee lounge room, I quickly dialed Victoria’s number.

“Hello,” she answered on the second ring. Her voice sounded hoarse, as if she has been screaming or crying.

“Are you ok? What’s wrong?” I asked, alarmed.

“He’s dead,” she said in a painful whisper.

“Who’s dead?” I asked confused.

“Daddy—daddy is dead. He was shot in the back of his head, assassination style. They killed my dad. My dad is dead because of them. After all the fucking years he gave them… they fucking killed him,” she shouted through the phone, as she cried. For the remainder of my break, I remained on the phone with her, trying to console her within the short time frame. By the end of that conversation, I knew that I had to fly out to New Jersey to be with her.

I
was beyond grateful that my job allowed me to have a leave of absence, even though I was currently on probation for a year. Victoria was my family, and I needed to be there for her regardless. I was able to get a week off from work. I left the girls home with Grandma because I knew that it was a risk to bring them with me. I took the next flight out and landed in New Jersey the day after I learned of the news. Victoria sent her driver to pick me up from the airport. Upon entering her fortress, I reached over to Victoria and held her for a few minutes as she cried into my shoulder. I stroked her hair and wiped her tears away with my thumbs.

“I’m so happy that you’re here,” she began. “I’m so sorry that you had to fly out here. I know that you just started a job, and the girls need you, but—”

“Shh…shh…you need me right now, and that is just as important. Where is your mom?” I asked after a moment. Victoria had her maid bring my bags into the guest bedroom, and she led me into her parents’ bedroom. I entered her parent’s bedroom, only to see a sorrowful Kate Spillmore who looked a shadow of her former self, lying on the bed gazing out the window. Leaning into the bed, Victoria softly spoke to her uncomprehending mother. I leaned over and kissed her forehead after we both tried to gain her attention.

“She’s been in that same position since we found out the news,” Victoria said, as a sea of tears glistened in her eyes. We walked out of the bedroom and headed downstairs to her father’s office. Victoria’s skin was paler, and the perimeter of her eyes was red and puffy. She wore sweatpants, and her bob haircut look like it has not been combed.

“Have you made any arrangements yet?” I asked as we sat down in the leather chairs of her late father’s office. She held a folder in her hands and opened it slowly.

“Daddy wrote a will and had planned his funeral arrangements. All of his papers have been revised within the past six months. It is as if he knew he was going to die,” she said, as she shook her head in disbelief.

After a moment of pondering the question in my head, I asked, “Do they have any suspects or camera footage?”

“Nothing so far. According to the detectives, the cameras were down during the hour of his death. The camera only captured my father’s body on the floor,” she revealed while choking up.

After making a few phone calls to the caterers, church, florist shop, and limousine services, Victoria and I headed to bed. As I lay in bed, I thought about the memories of what occurred five years ago in this guest room. I lost my virginity on this exact same bed. Sliding my hand down to my pussy, I closed my eyes and imagined Andriano’s tongue gliding in and out of my wet pussy. Moaning softly, I rubbed my clit harder at the thought of riding his face. Digging the heels of my feet into the mattress, I shook slightly at the aftershocks of coming all over my fingers.

T
he next few days flew by quickly, as we confirmed the arrangements, spoke to the detectives, and prepared for the wake and funeral. The day before his wake, Kate Spillmore flew into hysterics. The family doctor ended up sedating her and checked her into a medical facility. I felt bad that she was missing her husband’s wake and funeral, but she was in no condition to attend anything. Victoria and I spent the day before the wake shopping for her outfit. We spent the first part of the day at the hair salon and ended the day at a bar sipping on cosmos. She became emotionally stronger each passing day.

As Victoria became emotionally stronger each passing day, I grew weaker because I missed my daughters. I spent every morning talking to each of them. This was the first time that I was apart from them for this long, and it pained me deeper than I thought it would. The wake was in the next two hours, and I knew that I had to mentally prepare myself to face Andriano and his wife, Josephine. I wore my black turtleneck quarter length sleeved shirt tucked into my knee length leather pencil skirt and wore my peep toe heels. I wore diamond studs in my ears with the matching necklace and bracelet. I was happy that my taupe color gel manicure and pedicure remained shiny. I wore a nude color lipstick, neutral matte color eye makeup, and mascara, and I brushed my eyebrows in place with a clear mascara gel. I parted my hair in the middle and brushed my new long layered cut hair down. Since having the triplets, my hair grew to tailbone length. Swooping both sides of my hair behind my earrings, I looked myself once-over in the mirror before I grabbed my black leather clutch and left the guest room.

The wake was a short distance from the house. The parking lot was completely packed with luxury cars. The limo stopped in front of the funeral home entrance. As Victoria and I entered the traditional establishment, I nearly gagged at what awaited me. The amount of guests that attended the event was overwhelming, as everyone hugged Victoria and handed me an envelope. The Priest finally arrived and was preparing to start a rosary prayer in the next thirty minutes.

Before my eyes could even look his way, I knew that he had entered the room as goose bumps trailed up my arms. Feeling faint, my legs became heavy and feeble as I willed myself to exercise some form of physical control. Suddenly, we locked eyes. As much as I wanted to turn my head away, we couldn’t break out of the lewdness that radiated between us.

Victoria mumbled “oh shit” under her breath and slightly nudged my arm. I broke eye contact and continued collecting the envelopes from the guests. Josephine leaned over, kissed Victoria’s cheek, and extended her condolences before walking past me. Andriano leaned forward and kissed Victoria’s cheek before he stopped in front of me.
God this man is even more gorgeous today than he was five years ago
. He had a more muscular build and sported a short haircut and goatee. He smelled so good, as his cologne invaded my nostrils. I reached my hand out to collect his envelope, but he leaned forward instead and placed a soft kiss near my ear—his breath slightly fanning against my skin. A shiver went through me, as he handed me the envelope and grazed his fingers over my hand. I took a deep breath, thanked him, and pulled my hand out of his grip.

Finally, we finished collecting the envelopes. The rosary prayer lasted twenty minutes and was followed by Victoria giving a touching speech about her father. While the guests went up to observe the body of Donald Spillmore, I excused myself and went into the bathroom to catch my breath. I leaned over the sink, shut my eyes, and took deep breaths in and out in an attempt to regain my composure.

“
Bella mia,
” he said. I opened my eyes immediately and saw the reflection in the mirror of Andriano standing close behind me. For a moment, I stood still with fear. His piercing grey eyes did not break contact with mine, as we stared at each other for a long moment.

“This is the women’s bathroom,” was the only thing that I could say to him. Ignoring my statement, Andriano turned my body around to face him. He took a daring step forward and became undeniably close to me, as the tips of our noses touched.

“Andriano, please…” I had begun, before he slammed his mouth into mine. He pushed my body hard against his steel-like frame. Instead of fighting him, I melted into his body like butter and wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss as he plunged his tongue into my mouth. His hands roamed all over my body as his fingertips trailed down my back to my thighs and rested on my ass. Slightly lifting me off the floor, he walked into the large stall and pressed my body against the bathroom wall. I tugged at his tie, as he began sliding my skirt aside to have better access to my wet pussy. His hands skimmed over the front of my thong before he used his index and middle finger to bring the damp underwear to the side. My puffy pussy held the disheveled underwear to the side as he slid his index finger along my quivering slit. A gush of wetness spilled out when his finger glided over my clit. Sliding his other hand up my turtleneck shirt, he began caressing my breast and whispered in appreciation against my sizzling skin. Pushing my bra down, my breast flopped out. His mouth dropped down to nibble one, motioning his tongue in a rhythmic flow. His hand palmed my other breast, causing it to become tender and hard.

“I love them. You look more beautiful than ever…every part of you is incredible,” he said earnestly.

“No, we can’t do this. This is a mistake,” I said, as I slid my skirt back down. He looked at me with bewilderment that I would pass up this opportunity. He reached for me again and placed a soft peck against my lips, which led to an onslaught of kisses and my back once again pressed against the wall. I didn’t want to fight him because I needed to feel his dick again.
But, I’m not a home-wrecker, and I am sure as hell not the same girl from five years ago
.
I reluctantly shoved his body out of the way.

“
Bella mia
, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” he said, as I looked at my flushed face and puffy lips in the mirror.

A surge of rage that was suppressed over the past five years reemerged as I turned around to face him. “Stay away from me. You’re married now, and I moved on with my life. You have no respect for me, or for your wife who is sitting out there. Today, I’m here for Victoria. Tomorrow, I’m going to be leaving. So I expect you and me to continue to be strangers,” I said, as I brushed past him and walked out of the bathroom.

After years of ignoring my anger and hurt, I managed to take ten steps back. I hated the control that he had over me. I couldn’t contend with the sadness that crept into me, as he strolled past my seat and sat next to his wife. I hated the fact that, after five years, I’m still head over heels in love with him. After the guests left, Victoria and I finally stood over her father’s open casket. It was the first time since we arrived that we were able to come close to the casket as opposed to looking at him from afar.

“I can’t believe that he is actually gone,” Victoria said quietly.