Dirty Little Freaks (26 page)

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he says. “I’m so glad you followed me into the bathroom that night.”

“Ha, yeah, we’re going to have to come up with a better story to tell the grandkids,” I laugh.

“Fuck that,” he looks at me, “I want them all to know how dead sexy their gramma was, in her knee high boots and long green hair. I want the world to know how fucking sexy you are.”

“You might change your mind when you’re old and grey, my friend,” I giggle, “and need a handful of Viagra to get it up.”

He squeezes my ass and I feel him harden against my hip. “Who needs pills when I’ve got this?” he asks and kisses my neck.

“Ok, if you don’t go, I’m going to drag you into the bedroom and demand a fuck, and if I demand a fuck, then you’ll be late…”I say, rubbing his cock through his dress pants. “And if you’re late, I’ll never be able to call you doctor.”

He lets go of my ass and laughs. “Ok, you’ve got a point...but you’re not going to dump me if you can’t call me doctor, are you?”

“Get out of here!” I mock yell, and wave him out the door, “of course I wouldn’t, but you know you’ll do fine. I’ll be calling you doctor before the day is over.”

The lecture theatre is buzzing, there are more people here than I anticipated. I settle down at the front, where Hush wanted me. I look around but don’t see anyone I think is his family. A few minutes later I text him “Where r u?” and hear him laugh. I stand up and he’s behind me with an older, impeccably groomed version of himself, minus the green hair of course, a woman who looks like a walking Barbie doll, and a douchey looking frat boy. This must be the family. I clear my throat and say, “Hey.”

“Jade, this is my father, Nicolas, my mother Sylvie, and my brother, Richard,” he says, beaming his excitement.

“Nice to meet you,” I say in my best impression of a socialite. Eva and I have watched enough Real Housewives for me to know something about the lifestyle. I kick myself for always turning down her parent’s requests to join them at the golf club. I could have actually learned something, fucking insecurities.

“Charmed,” his mother says and offers me her limp hand. I don’t know if I should kiss it, or shake it, or what...so I panic and fist bump her. She looks startled, but his brother holds his hand up and says, “Duuuuuuude,” with a grin on his face. I fist bump him as well and relax a little, at least frat boy douche bag little bro is down with me.

“Jade?” his father asks, his voice dripping with disgust, “Is that your real name, or am I to assume it’s a...stage name?” Fuck, his dad thinks I’m a stripper. Gross. But hey, he thinks I’m hot enough to be a stripper, that’s kinda cool.

“It’s a nickname,” I tell him, “Jack is my real name.”

“Jack?” he says, sounding even more disgusted if that’s possible. “Is that a family name?”

I think of all the times I rolled my mother onto her stomach so she wouldn’t puke and asphyxiate herself in the night. All the times I removed a burning cigarette from her hand so she wouldn't start a fire on whatever flammable bedspread she was on at the time. I think of all the nights I poured her booze down the sink, hoping she’d stop drinking if we couldn’t afford it any more...but of course she’d always buy more, she’d forgo food or shoes for me, but she always had money for her Jack Daniels. I look Hush’s dad right in his arrogant goat eye and say, “Yes, it’s a family name,” with pride. Fuck him for seeing me as nothing more than something stuck on the bottom of his shoe, nothing more than the whore in his son’s life, nothing more than the reason his son humiliated the family by breaking off the engagement of the year. Fuck him. I reach out and grab Hush’s hand and add, “Aren’t you so proud of him? And all he’s accomplished?”

He squeezes my hand back and pulls me against him. In front of the three of them he gives me a deep kiss, lots of tongue action and smacking and obvious heat. Fuck them, he’s mine now.

“How do you feel?” I ask him as he shows us our seats at the front.

“Nervous, but good,” he smiles, “I can’t wait to do this.”

His advisor and defense committee seat themselves and indicate for him to start. He gets up, flashes one last smile in my direction and walks to the podium. He looks good, shit, he looks fucking hot, and I can’t believe he’s mine. I feel like jumping up and running to every person in there, pointing my finger in their face and yelling, “He’s mine, fuckers.” My chest swells with pride. He’s sexy, smart, dirty and fucking talented, the whole nine yards, and he’s mine. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve him, but I need to keep on doing it.

He clears his throat and taps the mic, “Is this thing on?” he asks and the audience titters their laughter.

“Good afternoon,” he starts and introduces his thesis topic. The audience seems enraptured by him, and I can see the members of his committee scribbling notes as he talks.

“So, let’s get to the good stuff,” he says after he finishes his introduction. He pauses and adjusts his notes. “You know what? Fuck this shit,” he suddenly says, looking at me. He tosses his notes on the floor and turns to the slide projector. A photo appears overhead, it’s one of me from when we first got together. In it I’m naked, but covered by a sheet. I remember the day he took in on his phone, we had been laughing and fucking for hours, I look radiant, better than I think I ever have. Sex is good for me. My head is thrown back, my neck looks long and elegant, and my tattoos look brilliant, the colour brighter than real life. I’m embarrassed though, and can feel everyone’s eyes on me, especially his father’s. It’s one thing to fuck Hush on stage in front of screaming fans; to be called out in front of people in the middle of the day is nerve wracking.

“I’m sorry Jade, I didn’t put this up here to humiliate you,” Hush says into the mic, “but I have to say this. I love you. I’ve loved you from that first night you cornered me in the bathroom at the Roxy. Fuck, I probably loved you from the first time I picked you up, saved you from that chick,” he laughs and I smile. I glance at his family and his parents look pissed. His little brother is laughing though and gives me the thumbs up.

“I love you, and I know you love me, and that should be it, right? It should be that simple...but it’s not. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, I want to wake up with you and watch you sleep...you are so fucking adorable when you sleep,” he grins. “It doesn’t feel that easy because my family are a bunch of assholes,” he continues. “All I’ve ever wanted is to play the guitar, to thrash on stage and make music, but my father wouldn’t allow that to happen, not to any son of his. This,” he says and gestures to the theatre, “is not what I wanted, ever. I’m sorry Doctor Anderson and my thesis committee, for wasting your time. But the truth is I only took on this research so I could follow my real dream, to play. I never got permission,” he says and the crowd gasps. I hear his father mutter under his breath and he glares at me. “I did my field research with no permission, I did not conduct myself in an ethical fashion, therefore my last year of work is null and void.”

Silence greets him; none of us know what to say. I can see his advisor, must be Doctor Anderson, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. The rest of the committee look angry, Hush looks relieved. I smile, that’s all I want, is for him to be happy, none of these people matter to us.

“Jade, I treated you horribly and I still can’t believe you took me back after I ran,” he continues, “but I thank you for that. I looked at this picture every day, every hour after I left you...before I found you again...and I knew then that I was a fucking fool for leaving you. You told me once if I had to ask how to prove my love to you, then I didn’t love you. I’ve thought about it ever since. I’ve decided that I can’t prove that I love you beyond giving my heart to you,” he says. I swear I hear a few girls in the audience sigh; he is pretty fucking dreamy. I smile at him, fight the tears starting to well up in my eyes, and he goes on, “I can’t live without you Jade, I tried, but I failed. I failed at being away from you, and I don’t think I could survive if you left me at this point…but I don’t know how to prove my love to you. I could throw myself onto the jagged rocks at Spanish Banks, or I could tattoo your name over every inch of my body, but in the end you have to believe me...I love you. In the end you have to trust me, to trust us, and maybe after fifty years together when we’re lying in bed talking about our creaking joints and the weather, then you’ll have your proof. Until then, you just have me.” As he speaks I can envision us together forever, holding hands when we’re old and grey, still laughing about that fucking bathroom at the Roxy, and my heart does an old time pitter patter, flip flop. He doesn’t need to prove his love to me…he just did.

He looks at me with a smile on his face, clicks off the overhead projector and the screen goes back to white. He steps out from behind the podium and walks towards me. I stand up and go to meet him, his arms are wide and I fall into them, laughing and red faced at the hundreds of eyes on us. His father stands as if to intervene, to get between us, but thinks better of it when he realizes everyone is watching us, waiting to see what happens.

“You are nuts,” I say and bury my face in his chest, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I don’t deserve a PhD, I only did the work so I could rock out with my cock out,” he replies, laughs and smoothes my hair with his hand. He strokes my cheek and says, “I never thought I’d find a hot ass like yours at the end of it, of course, but I couldn’t be happier, babe.”

I blush even redder, hoping nobody heard, “Me too, I’ve literally never been happier with anyone in my life,” I confess and feel his arms tighten around me.

“Nick,” I hear a voice behind us, “what in God’s name was that?”

Hush turns and we break apart, but still have our hands interlocked. It’s Doctor Anderson.

“That is me making my own decision for once,” he says, “I’m just sorry I wasted your time, that was never my intention.”

“We’ll see what we can do, we can make a case in front of the ethics committee and have your work accepted-”

“Just don’t, please,” Hush interrupts him. “I’ve made up my mind, I don’t want to be an academic, I want to pursue my rock star dreams.” He smiles, his crooked adorable smile. “Jade here can pick up where I left off, she’s fucking brilliant, keep your eye on her...I think she’ll blow everybody’s mind at some point in the near future.”

I’m beaming. I shake Dr. Anderson’s hand and make small talk for a moment or two. Hush walks to his father and the two of them are obviously having a heated discussion, I don’t know if I should go over there or not. I break away from the conversation I’m in and start towards them.

“I’d stay out of it, if I were you,” Hush’s brother, Richard, interrupts me. “Those two go at it all the time, since the day he was born from what my mother tells me.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“Nick hasn’t ever been able to fake it like I can,” he says, “He always has to have the last word, it’s pathetic really.”

It takes me a second that Nick means Hush, and I hate the look on Richard’s face…I hate anyone speaking of my Hush that way, especially his fucked up family.

“Maybe that’s because he’s already got his life figured out, and it doesn’t include that shit that you people think is important. Maybe he doesn’t want to end up miserable, married to some vapid, one dimensional woman, chasing easy tail at the office to make up for his sad, lonely existence,” I tell him. His eyes widen at my verbal defense and I stomp off to Hush and his father.

“You’re throwing your life away, you’re being foolish,” his father says as I walk up. “All for what, that little-” he stops when he sees me.

Hush turns, smiles and takes my hand. “All for what?” I ask him, staring him down, daring him to continue.

“Never mind,” he says. What a pussy. “I am simply trying to talk some sense into Nick here, he’s being utterly ridiculous.”

“Hush is being amazingly sensible in my opinion,” I say and squeeze his hand. “Let’s go,” I tell him, “we’ve got shit to do.”

“You heard her,” Hush tells his father, “we’ve got shit to do.” He puts his arm around my shoulders and we walk up the stairs together. The audience has mostly cleared out by now, but there are a few people milling about. As we walk by, they start to clap, one by one. I hear a couple of whistles and words of congratulations. I feel like a fucking rock star, leaving with my guy. I feel like I’ve fallen into the world’s worst chick flick, I love it though, every stupid moment of our grand exit.

We make it to his Land Rover before we speak. He opens the back door and throws his briefcase inside. “I guess I’d better get this hair spiked up, quick-like, hey babe?”

“Uh, yeah, if I can’t call you doctor, you’d better look a little more hard-core than you do now,” I say and smile. I continue, “So we need to figure out what we’re doing, right? I think your family is done with you...I could maybe drop a couple classes next semester and pick up a few more nights at the Pussy Willow.”

“Not on your life,” he says and turns to me.

“What do you mean? We’ll need money. I don’t think Eva’s coming home any time soon, and I don’t know how much longer her parents will pay for the apartment. I do have some savings, but I don’t know how long-”