Dirty Little Secrets (23 page)
Read Dirty Little Secrets Online
Authors: Kerry Cohen
RESOURCES
Sex and Relationship Websites for Teens
Go Ask Alice!
is the health-related Q&A Internet resource provided through Columbia University’s Health Services. It aims to provide “reliable, accurate, accessible, culturally competent information and a range of thoughtful perspectives so that they can make responsible decisions concerning their health and well-being.”
The site
gURL.com
is for teenage girls. It includes honest content about sexuality and sexual health, including advice from other teens and stores of information about various sex topics. The site has a membership option so girls can give their own advice and talk to one another on the “Shout Out” boards.
The Midwest Teen Sex Show
is a video show about teen sexuality. These guys are comedians, and they are hilarious, but they also provide accurate, thoughtful, and useful information to teenagers in an entertaining manner, all through episodes you can watch on the site.
Planned Parenthood is well known internationally as a frank, accessible provider of reproductive health care, women’s health information, and sex education. A section of the Planned Parenthood website is devoted to teen sexual health and information.
Scarleteen: Sex Ed for the Real World
is a grassroots site working to provide sexuality education and support. Heather Corinna, the proprietor, regularly provides blogs about useful examinations of recent studies, news events, and more. There is also a message board and referral service, and the site provides teen outreach and staff training through the program CONNECT.
Sex Etc.: Sex Education by Teens for Teens
has a mission to “improve teen sexual health across the country.” The website is chock-full of useful information, from a glossary of sex terms to weekly live chats with experts and opportunities for teens to create their own profile and blog.
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is similar to twelve-step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous in that it is based in religion and service to God. The site lists meetings and numerous resources, including a “test” to determine whether you likely qualify as a sex and/or love addict. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous does not provide services for minors. Some cities have meetings for adolescents, but they are not common.
www.whatcontraceptiveareyou.com.au/compare-contraception-options
Condoms are the only contraception that provides protection against both pregnancy and STDs. But this Australian website offers an interesting breakdown of the various other contraceptive devices available. The chart includes what each contraceptive is, how long it lasts, how it works, and what to consider. The site also has a survey to discover which type of contraception works best with your lifestyle.
SELECT BOOKS ABOUT SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS FOR TEENS
Michael J. Basso.
The Underground Guide to Teenage Sexuality
, 2nd ed. (Minneapolis: Fairview Press, 2003).
This is a basic but informative, fact-based question-and-answer guide for boys and girls about sexual development.
Ruth Bell.
Changing Bodies, Changing Lives: A Book for Teens on Sex and Relationships
, 3rd ed. (New York: Three Rivers Press, 1998).
From the original
Our Bodies, Ourselves
, here is comprehensive information for boys and girls about sexuality, including quotes, poems, and writings from teenagers.
Kerry Cohen.
Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity
(New York: Hyperion, 2008).
The author’s memoir about her struggle with the need for male attention.
Heather Corinna.
S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get through High School and College, Illustrated ed.
(New York: De Capo Press, 2007).
Corinna, owner of the website
www.scarleteen.com
, provides every possible aspect of sex education to her readers in a unique, upbeat, provocative style.
Kelly Huegel.
GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens
(Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing, 2003).
This book covers everything there is to know for queer teens or teens who are questioning their sexual orientation.
SELECT BOOKS ABOUT TEENAGERS AND SEX FOR PARENTS
Ellen Bass and Kate Kaufman.
Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth and Their Allies
(New York: Harper Perennial, 1996).
This book is about sexual orientation and intended for youths, but it is also useful for adults who need to know.
Dominic Cappello and Pepper Schwartz.
Ten Talks Parents Must Have with Their Children about Sex and Character
(New York: Hyperion, 2000).
A detailed, layered book to prep parents for talking with their kids about sex. The best part of this book are the stories and correlating discussion questions included to read with your teens.
Debra Haffner.
Beyond the Big Talk: Every Parent’s Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Teens from Middle School to High School and Beyond
(New York: Newmarket Press, 2002).
Haffner provides guidelines for sexual development and health, broken down by ages.
Logan Levkoff.
Third Base Ain’t What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today—And How to Teach Them to Become Sexually Healthy Adults
(New York: NAL Trade, 2007).
This book covers information about what teens face today when it comes to sex and sexual health.
Ronald Moglia and Jon Knowles.
All about Sex: A Family Resource on Sex and Sexuality
(New York: Three Rivers Press, 1997).
This book provides the latest information on every imaginable aspect of sexuality, including tantric sex, human reproduction, and sexual pleasure.
Lynn Ponton.
The Sex Lives of Teenagers: Revealing the Secret World of Adolescent Boys and Girls
(New York: Plume, 2001).
Ponton’s book examines a number of teen cases to demonstrate the various ways teenagers experience their sexuality.
Justin Richardson and Mark Schuster.
Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know about Sex (But Were Afraid They’d Ask): The Secrets to Surviving Your Child’s Sexual Development from Birth to the Teens
(New York: Three Rivers Press, 2004).
This is a humorous, fun, and thorough guide to dealing with sexuality and your child, starting from toddlerhood.
Deborah M. Roffman.
Sex and Sensibility: The Thinking Parent’s Guide to Talking Sense about Sex
(New York: De Capo Press, 2001).
This is a more serious research-based but still readable guide to sex and your teens.
NOTES
INTRODUCTION
1
. Courtney L. Martin,
Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body
(New York: Free Press, 2007).
2
. “Facts on American Teens’ Sexual and Reproductive Health,” Guttmacher Institute, January 2011,
www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html
.
3
. Ibid.
4
. Joe S. McIlhaney Jr. and Freda McKissic Bush,
Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children
(Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 2008).
5
. For a detailed evaluation of the studies on oxytocin and attachment, see Heather Corinna’s article, “Pump Up The Vole-Ume: Talking Oxytocin,”
Scarleteen.com
, August 4, 2010,
www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2010/08/04/pump_up_the_voleume_talking_oxytocin
.
6
. Beth A. Auslander, Michelle M. Perfect, Paul A. Succop, and Susan L. Rosenthal, “Perceptions of Sexual Assertiveness among Adolescent Girls: Initiation, Refusal, and Use of Protective Behaviors,”
Journal of Pediatric Adolescent Gynecology
20, no. 3 (2007): 157–162.
7
. Michelle Fine, “Sexuality, Schooling, and Adolescent Females: The Missing Discourse of Desire,”
Harvard Educational Review
58, no. 1 (1988): 29–53.
8
. Joan Jacobs Brumberg,
The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls
(New York: Random House, 1997). See also Margaret Mead’s
Coming of Age in Samoa: A Psychological Study of Primitive Youth for Western Civilization
(New York: William Morrow and Company, 1928).
9
. Hugo Schwyzer, “The Paris Paradox: How Sexualization Replaces Opportunity with Obligation,”
Hugo Schwyzer Blog
,
www.hugoschwyzer.net
, November 9, 2010,
hugoschwyzer.net/2010/11/09/the-paris-paradox-how-sexualization-replaces-opportunity-with-obligation/
.
10
. Volunteers completed a survey that read simply, “Describe your loose girl experience.” All volunteers answered my request after having read
Loose Girl
or having become aware of it and its theme.
Chapter 1
1
. Mary Pipher,
Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
(New York: Ballantine Books, 1994), 19.
2
. Ibid., 22.
3
. Anne Beattie, introduction to
At Twelve: Portraits of Young Women
, by Sally Mann (New York: Aperture, 2005), 8.
4
. Shumei S. Sun, Christine M. Schubert, William Cameron Chumlea, Alex F. Roche, Howard E. Kulin, Peter A. Lee, John H. Himes, and Alan S. Ryan, “National Estimates of the Timing of Sexual Maturation and Racial Differences Among US Children,”
Pediatrics
110, no. 5 (2002): 911–919. Note that the earlier onset of puberty does not include “precocious puberty,” which is when puberty occurs before the age of eight.
5
. Marcia E. Herman-Giddens, Eric J. Slora, Richard C. Wasserman, Carlos J. Bourdony, Manju V. Bhapkar, Gary G. Koch, and Cynthia M. Hasemeie, “Secondary Sexual Characteristics and Menses in Young Girls Seen in Office Practice: A Study from the Pediatric Research in Office Settings Network,”
Pediatrics
99, no. 4 (1997): 505–512.
6
. Julian Isherwood, “Dramatic Drop in Female Puberty,”
Politiken. dk
, June 18, 2010, politiken.dk/newsinenglish/ECE998340/dramatic-drop-in-female-puberty.
7
. Florence Williams, “Younger Girls, Bigger Breasts: Are Chemicals to Blame?”
Slate
, July 28 2009,
www.doublex.com/section/health-science/younger-girls-bigger-breasts-arechemicals-blame
.
8
. William Cameron Chumlea, Christine M. Schubert, Alex F. Roche, Howard E. Kulin, Peter A. Lee, John H. Himes, and Shumei S. Sun, “Age at Menarche and Racial Comparisons in U.S. Girls,”
Pediatrics
111, no. 1 (2003): 110–113.
9
. Committee on Communications, “Children, Adolescents, and Advertising,”
Pediatrics
118, no. 6 (2006): 2563–2569.
10
. Naomi Wolf,
The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used against Women
(New York: Harper Collins, 2002).
11
. Katy Gilpatric. “Violent Female Action Characters in Contemporary American Cinema,”
Sex Roles
62, nos. 11–12 (2010): 734–746.
12
. Diane E. Levin and Jean Kilbourne,
So Sexy, So Soon
(New York: Ballantine Books, 2009), 9.
13
. Jessica Valenti,
The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women
(Berkeley: Seal Press, 2009), 13.
14
. Ibid., 30.
15
. Deborah L. Tolman,
Dilemmas of Desire: Teenage Girls Talk about Sexuality
(Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2002).