Disgrace (18 page)

I
had every intention of taking her to my flat at the club. Even as I started the car I thought about which playroom we could use. But catching her delicate profile and soft smile when she notices me looking her way just made that impossible. I know so little about her, but what I do know is a paradox to the image she portrays. I get the feeling her image is a comfortable costume she is too quick to hide behind, and if I want her to open up to me, to really be mine, I have to take her out of her comfort zone. I smile to myself. The irony is not lost that she finds comfort in a dark place with whips and chains and things that go more than bump in the night. She undulates with the touch of my fingers down her side; she shivers and her skin prickles with gooseflesh. Her skin is so damn soft, and her delicate little sighs make me so damn hard. She is lying with her back to my chest, tucked right in, but I am almost bent double from my hips, trying to keep my erection from digging into her arse. She is obviously tired to have fallen asleep so quickly after we made love earlier. Made love…Jesus, when did I grow a vagina? I don’t make love; I fuck. She sighs again, and I lose my tentative hold on being a gentleman and roll my hips against the ripe, round curve of her butt. I freeze when she starts to mumble, her body is instantly rigid in my arms and she is trembling.

“You killed her!” She sobs. “Grace….no….no …please.” Her skin is instantly clammy and she sits up with a cry, gasping for air. Her head drops to her chest as she draws in deep, calming breaths. I place my hand on her back, and she spins in shock, eyes wide with fear but flash only for a moment then soften with recognition.

“Sam?” I sit up and place my arm around her, pulling her still trembling body against mine. She feels so cold, I lay us back down and pull the covers up to her chin. I make a big deal of tucking her in, and she giggles. It’s what I was hoping for because she feels ten times more relaxed in my arms than just a few seconds ago. Long minutes pass and I begin to wonder if she has fallen back to sleep, but she tilts her head up to me. The sadness she holds in her dark brown eyes makes my chest hurt.

“Bad dream?” I ask softly.

“Bad reality.” Her lips pinch to one side, and she gives a light shrug but I turn her chin as she tries to retreat from me.

“Sam, I want to know. If you want to tell me,” I urge. I wait and don’t realise I’m holding my breath until she starts to speak, and I exhale loudly.

“I miscarried when I was young…and…it still haunts me.
He
still haunts me.” She adds with bitterness.

“He?”

“Richard…my boyfriend. He was angry, and let’s just say I didn’t stand much of a chance. I lost the baby, actually I nearly died but it obviously wasn’t my time.” She gives a tentative smile, which doesn’t reach her eyes.

“What do you mean you didn’t stand a chance? He forced you to have an abortion?” My tone pitched with disbelief.

“No…no he forced me to miscarry. He beat me so badly I lost the baby.” Her voice is barely audible, and her face is wet with silent tears. I use my palm to wipe them dry.

“Jesus, Sam. This is the same guy that—” The words and anger clog my throat, and I have to fight to contain the rage. “Richard…is the one who abused you.” She nods into my chest. I kiss her hair, and for a long time, I am utterly speechless.

“Where is he now?” I am surprised how calm my voice is when I want to tear the bastard limb from limb.

“He lives in the States. He comes to the club sometimes. He claims to be the ultimate Master or some shit. He has a big following, which is utterly terrifying. That people think he is some sort of BDSM guru makes me sick.” She physically shivers and I have to agree.

“My club? He’s been to my club?” I am shocked.

“Yep.”

“Have you ever seen him there?” I can feel my anger start to boil. This is exactly why I bought the club.

“No, thank God. I get the heads up from the admin team if he is signing in. It’s not that I don’t think I could handle it. On my home turf, with my armour, as Mistress Selena I mean, I’m sure I could, but
if
I couldn’t. If he somehow made me break, I would lose too much, and he is not worth it.” Her tone is resolute but tinged with an unbidden vulnerability.

“I checked all the members when I bought Angus out. We only have two Richards from memory…” I mumble absently.

“He calls himself Master Alpha, but he uses the Greek symbol. Can you believe it? Pretentious arsehole…wait…what? You bought Angus out? So you’re the sole owner?” She sits up and far out of my arms.
Shit
.

“It doesn’t make any difference.” I add quickly and try to brush the comment off and add with a light laugh. “It doesn’t make me your boss or anything.” I reach for her, but her face darkens with anger, and her eyes flash with hurt.

“You’re damn right it doesn’t!” she bites. “What it does mean is all this truth bullshit is one-sided. I have told you nothing but the truth and you…you…” She points her finger but her hand shakes, a sarcastic laugh spilling from her tight lips. She snatches the sheet from the bed as she stands, angrily wrapping it around her sweet body. She looks furious. She looks sexy but mostly furious.

“I didn’t lie. It never came up.” I find my hands instinctively shield myself between my legs; she looks really mad, and I am very naked.

“Oh!” She laughs bitterly. “Oh, really? Lying by omission defence. That’s what you’re saying? Well, Angus has been absent for the last eight months, and in that time, we’ve seen each other at the club what? Maybe two or three times a week? When did you buy him out exactly?”

“Eight months ago.” I admit reluctantly.

“And why might no one have told me in all that time?” She narrows her eyes with justified suspicion.

“Because only a few people knew, and I said their jobs depended on keeping it confidential.” No point lying now. Her brows rise, then pinch when her eyes narrow once more. If looks could maim, I would be in agony.

“Sam—” I rise from the bed but halt at her hand.

“Don’t you fucking move. If you value what you hold in your hands, don’t move a fucking muscle.” She drops her sheet, and I stand impotent while she hurriedly dresses, murmuring curses under her breath.

“Sam…” I step, but my foot doesn’t reach the carpet just hovers midair before retreating back to its original position.

“You’re such a fucking idiot, Sam…Idiot and I’m gonna kill Leon for setting this up!” She practically screams. She shakes her head and tears fall onto her cheek.
Shit no
. Her voice is soft and catches. “You know Jason, I don’t give a fuck whether you own the club, but lying…I thought you were different.”

She grabs her bag and is out the door and down the stairs before I can grasp what just happened. I hear the front door slam and panic. This is not happening. I snatch the sheet from the floor and gather it round my waist. I race out the bedroom door, leap down the stairs and run barefoot out into the street. It’s midafternoon but Boxing Day and, thankfully, not a soul around. Not that I would care. I would run bollock naked after her if I had to. A frantic search up and down my narrow street before I see a flick of dark hair disappear around the corner onto the river walkway. I don’t hesitate, my bare feet pound the cobblestone and I skid around the corner to see her stomping away. Her hands clearly wiping her face. I run to catch up; it only takes a few on my long strides.

“Enough!” I shout loud and gruff and a little bit pissed off.

She halts and spins, shock and amusement fight for precedence on her flawless face. I drop the sheet and step up to her and hold her shoulders stiffly. Wide eyes and amusement win.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner. I should have. But then you might’ve asked why, and I wasn’t ready to answer that, not without sounding like a creeper at least.” I draw in a breath and shiver, the wintery chill in the air hitting all those usually hard-to-reach places. Her gaze is a mix of vulnerable confusion and utter shock, but my eyes are just as intense and filled with the passion I feel for her. “I bought it so I could veto the membership…so I could keep you safe. I really like you, Sam. I have
liked
you for a long time.” I draw out the emphasis on the word ‘like’ very deliberately. She has to know I feel more. I just don’t want to freak her out any more than I already have. “There didn’t seem any point telling you about the club while you were ‘dating’ Leon. And, it didn’t seem like a first date type of conversation, but I never lied to you. I would never lie to you. I am different. Let me prove it. I have nothing to hide from you, Sam.” I hold my arms out, my nipples could cut glass, and I am literally freezing my bollocks off. She rushes forward and wraps her arms around me, barely covering my naked body with her small frame, but I appreciate the sentiment and relish the warmth. She rubs her hands up my back vigorously.

“You fucking idiot! You’ll catch pneumonia.” She drops to pick up the sheet just as some squeals of laughter erupt from a group of girls on the bridge ahead crossing the Thames. Sam laughs shaking her head. “Fuck, Jason, what we’re you thinking?” She pulls the sheet closed around my body and lays her hand on my chest, over my heart. I move my hand to cover hers.

“I was thinking I would be a fucking idiot to let you go.” Her smile lights her eyes and warms me though to my bones.

“You’re naked on the South Bank. I think you have established a new benchmark for the idiot title.” She snickers. I swiftly bend and scoop her into my arms. Dipping down to retrieve the bag she had dropped. I silence her laughter with my mouth, desperate to taste what I so nearly lost. I slowly step toward home, reluctant to relinquish her lips. I reach my front door. Leaving the house in haste like I did, I am thankful I have a fingerprint entry system. I drop her bag and carry her back up to my room.

“I need to tie you up.” My voice is gravely and hoarse with urgency. It’s more than desire; it’s a primal need I feel in my veins like liquid fire, raw and relentless. I need to reclaim what is mine.

“I know.” Her voice is tentative but her body is awake to my demand. Her eyes darken with pent up arousal swirling seductively in dark chocolate pools. Her chest rises and falls in rapid, sexy breaths, and her tongue traces some moisture onto her dry lips. She needs this as much as I do, she just doesn’t know it…yet.

“Comfortable?” I tighten the last restraint on her wrist and slip my finger under the tie to check for circulation. I don’t actually keep toys and kit at my home, kind of redundant when you own a sex club, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to improvise.

“Yes, Sir.” Her breathy voice is pure sin. Her eyes meet mine with a mix of fire and nervous hunger.

“Good.” I won’t be long. I walk to the door.

“Jason?” she calls, her tone incredulous. I bite back a smirk and fix her with an impassive expression. “Sir?” she amends, but it sounds dangerously like a snarl. I step back and trace my finger down her cheek, all the way to her collarbone and toward her breasts. I hold her nipple between my middle finger and thumb and begin to squeeze. Her eyes widen, her breath catches, and her legs flex against their hold.

“That tone, sweet girl, now means I will take as long as I damn well please.” Her back arches with the final pressure and sags when I release. I don’t turn back for fear I’ll never get to leave, if her face is anything like the fiery expression in her eyes.

It takes me five minutes to gather the bits I will need but I decided to wait it out for another twenty. I am tempted to sort myself out, I am so fucking hard just thinking about how Sam is waiting upstairs but decide against it. I know exactly where I want to come. I push the bedroom door, her head snaps to face me then just as quickly returns back to the centre. Her breasts rise and fall with her rapid breathing. Perfect swells of soft round flesh, peaked with pert, hard nubs. She swallows thickly and lets out a long, deep sigh.

“How are you feeling, beautiful?” I walk to the side and put the items on the small table. Her head twitches with the noise, but she remains still.

“I’m good, Sir. I missed you.” Her genuine smile is warm and breathtaking.

“I’m glad.” A deep groan rumbles in my chest when she whimpers at my soft touch, cupping and squeezing her breast. “Don’t close your eyes.” I reach back to the table for the ice. She jumps at the first drop of freezing water that lands in her stomach. Her eyes are wide but the effort to keep them like that is clear from the clench in her jaw and her thin lips. I trace the cube swiftly and lightly across her skin, leaving a thin trail of liquid along the edge of her hip bone, up her side, touching the curve of her collar bone and down the valley between her breasts. Her skin prickles with the chill, and she trembles and gasps when I circle her nipples. I drop the cube in her belly button, and she bites back a squeal, her back arching slightly. The muscles in her legs flex and tense against her restraints.

I pick up another cube and palm it, sliding it down her tummy and in between her legs. She jerks and cries out, her eyes scrunched tight.

“Open your eyes, beautiful.” She tilts her head to scowl at me. I am now perched in between her legs with a raised brow. She huffs out but calms her riotous body with some steady breaths. She meets my imperious gaze with her steely one. “Cold?” I blow on her folds with warm breath but slide the cube over her glistening entrance. I drag my bottom lip in at the memory of her taste. Her eyes follow my tongue and but narrow at my deviant grin.