Disgrace (7 page)

“
May have mentioned
? Or did you interrogate him, Jason? Did you deliberately get him drunk? Tell me the truth, or this date ends right now.” Her soft tone couldn’t sound more serious.

“We had some drinks together, but it wasn’t my intention to get him drunk. He wasn’t drunk when I left. But I won’t lie, when he started talking about you, I did ask more questions than may have been appropriate for a casual conversation. I want this, Sam; I wouldn’t have asked it if I didn’t.” My knuckles stroke the incredible softness of her cheek. “I am in no position to judge the choices you make with your life, and I don’t. But I did want a little more information, and Leon was like a fucking gift horse.”

“Leon…always thinking he knows best. I don’t blame you. He probably targeted you.” She shakes her head and lets out a resigned puff of air. We are standing in a strangely intimate hold oblivious to our surroundings. It is only the noise of old metal shutters being pulled closed that breaks this trance. I take her hand in mine, grab our coats from the back of the chairs, and lead her outside. We leave the building, I swing her into my body, and she hits me hard, the impact is enough to wind her. She gasps, and I take that moment to seal my mouth over hers and claim that very breath as my own.

My tongue dives and dances with hers, hot, urgent, possessive. She fights and parries my every move. Her hand grabs my jacket, pulling me tighter to her soft pliant body. A deep groan vibrates through me, causing her to shudder. She sucks in deep steadying breaths. “How would this even work, Jason?” She tries to ask calmly but her panting betrays her riotous emotions.

“Say yes, Sam. The rest is just details.” My hand slips to her neck, my thumb tracing the rapid pulse at her jaw. The pressure is firm, and Sam’s eyes widen with the sinful intent this simple grip holds. She hesitates, and the pressure on my grip increases, so subtle, barely at all, but the heat from my hand mainlines like a shot of pure, erotic fire straight to her eyes. I sense the exact moment she decides. I am instantly rock hard. She hasn’t said the word, and she really doesn’t need to. It is like an unveiling of some great treasure. She is alight with acceptance and understanding. Her body thrums under my fingertips.

“Yes.” Her voice is barely audible, her affirmation is consumed by my passion, so raw it bruises her swollen lips and robs what was left of her resolve.

T
his is new territory for me, and my body fails miserably to hide its strange mix of excitement and sudden surge of nerves. I don’t get nervous…ever, but my fingers tremble, shaking the keys in my hand as I fumble with the lock on my apartment door. He threw me a complete curve ball by taking me to the Mission this morning. I did not see that coming from the enigmatic co-owner of London’s elite sex club.
I can’t believe I said yes
. I’m not surprised my body is super eager to reconnect with all his hotness. I pinch my legs tight and my mouth actually waters with the erotic recall of what that man is capable of making me feel. That one time, I could barely handle. I mean the sex was phenomenal; we were explosive, but the draw I felt toward him had me running for the hills. What he is asking for now I know is more than sex, but how much more terrifies me.

I’m relieved Jason agreed to come back to my place and didn’t insist we go straight to the club or his flat. I need to regain my balance. I feel the subtle shift in power like a physical presence. My heart is pounding, and I am very much outside of my element. At least here I have the comfort of being on my home ground.

Maybe that is why Jason agreed so readily, happy to make this concession because he sensed I was already struggling with the choice I’d made. Intuition is a very seductive quality that I can now add to his ever-growing list of positives. But I am under no illusion about what I’m giving up so he
needs
that very long list. He covers my fingers and holds them still enough to help twist the key in the lock. I drop my head and exhale a deep sigh.

“Sam we don’t have to rush this. I want to do this right. I want this more than anything, so I will take it slow with you.” His tender words are going to end me, I just know it. A tentative smile creeps across my lips as a warm feeling begins to spread deep inside, a soothing sense of calm. I feel reassured by his softly dominant tone. I nod and push the door open. The door clicks shut behind him, and there is a moment of strange, awkward silence. Other than Leon, I have never actually invited a man back before, but then I have never agreed to switch, either.

Before I get another second to hesitate Jason spins me into his arms fast and slams me with shocking force against the wall in the narrow hallway. I gasp out in surprise only to have the sound swallowed but his passionately demanding kiss. His tongue dives desperately between my lips, tasting, swirling with mine, eliciting unbidden moans from deep inside both our bodies. His hands are pressed on either side of my head, caging me with his large frame. I fist his sweater, curling my fingers and pulling the thin material from his body. My fingertips graze his skin, so warm and tempting, I fight the desire to venture further underneath. I fully admit I am a mixed up mess of confusion. I would normally take exactly what I want for the win, demand to be given what I need to satisfy my own lust. But this isn’t
that
game, and we haven’t exactly taken the time to set out the rules of play. I forcibly rest my hands against his trim waist and draw in a deep, steadying breath when Jason breaks the kiss.

“So much for taking it slow.” My voice is breathless, ragged pants of air.

“There is much to be discussed.” His gaze holds me captive. His voice is soft and mesmerising. “How we proceed with this relationship, Sam…with me as your Dominant… I intend to take slow. But how I feel right now has nothing to do with that and has fuck all to do with being slow. I need to be inside you…now.” The sexual tension radiates off him like a palpable force, permeating my every nerve ending with wanton desire and rendering me almost speechless…almost.

“Oh.” One breathy exhale is all I can manage.

“Oh,” he repeats. His lips curl with a knowing, nefarious smile that makes my tummy tighten with anticipation. In one swift sequence of smooth manoeuvres, Jason grabs my hand, strides purposefully straight into my bedroom and dramatically swings me into the centre of the room. He steps me flush to the bed, pushing me back. He follows my reclining body with his; only millimetres separate our combustive heat. He lifts and pulls my sweater over my head and pushes me flat, his fingertips splayed on my chest. He must be able to feel my heart thumping from the inside. “Don’t move.” His deep voice is gravelly with lust. He crawls back down the bed, hooking his fingers in my waistband and dragging my leggings and panties all the way down my legs. He takes his time, and I squirm with the build-up of delicious pressure at the apex of my legs.

He kneels on the floor and cups his large palms around the back of my knees, pulling me toward the edge of the bed. Scooping my legs over his shoulders, he clamps his hands around my hips and lifts me so my centre is within kissing distance of his lips. “Fuck, I could die right now, because this is heaven.” His words blur with the cry that escapes from deep inside me, the moment his tongue touches my core. Soft, then firm, the pressure is perfect as he works his mouth from my tender folds to my needy nub of nerves. His lips cover me, and he sucks for what feels like a lifetime. His hands grip hard because my whole body is thrown into a wild display of spasms and convulsions. If it wasn’t for my cries of ‘
don’t stop
’ I’m pretty sure he would think I was having a seizure.
God, this feels so good.
I thread my fingers into his short but surprisingly soft hair, making my need to grip a challenge. It’s a futile attempt to control him though, because my hand is just pulled along any which way his head chooses to go. He inserts a finger, maybe two, and curls them around, swirling and teasing my most sensitive tissue inside.

I push my head back into the mattress, and my back strikes the perfect arc as every muscle in my body tenses; not even a breath escapes me when I freeze. He holds me there on the crest for days. Christ it feels like days because I sag with utter exhaustion by the time my muscles relax and I am cognisant again.

He looks at me through his dark lashes and sensually drags his bottom lip through his teeth groaning with pleasure as he scrapes the taste of me from his mouth. “You look sleepy.” He lets my floppy legs slide off his broad shoulders, and I don’t have the strength but to let them slide off the side of the bed, too. I hear a buckle chink and some clothes rustle and drop to the floor. I can’t move. He chuckles as he stalks up my body, slowly rousing it with gentle kisses. “You can’t be sleepy.” His tongue flicks my perky nipple through the delicate lace of my bra. He nips the end through the material, holding it hostage in his teeth. I sigh and stretch, sinking my body away from his bite, just enough that I test his hold and up to the point where it hurts. I whimper and can feel his lips carve a smile against my breast. I lift my head just as he releases me from his teeth but grabs and moulds me in his hand. “I’m still hungry.” He sucks my whole nipple into his mouth, hard. I feel the draw from my toes. The lace of my bra is now wet and feels rough against my soft skin, the suction is incredible. If I didn’t know better, I would swear he’s trying to mark me. His large hands sweep under the edge of my bra, around and under my back. He releases the clip and pulls away, triumphantly swinging my bra like a trophy.

I laugh at his goofy grin, but the heat in his glare evaporates any humour from the room. This man is lethal. He wedges his knees between my thighs and slides onto his side, half on me, half supporting his full weight. One arm is draped across his muscled, cut torso, his hand fisting his impressive cock. I still haven’t had the chance to take him in. In the cupboard at the wedding, I could feel his body was toned, felt his muscled back and chest but he kept his suit on the entire time. Even now we are a tangle of limbs, I can’t really see his body, but I can see his cock. Large doesn’t do him justice. I thought his hands were big but they look more like a child’s as he languidly strokes himself up and down. His grin widens when he catches my stare, he chuckles when I snap my jaw shut. How did I not remember
that,
and why the fuck did I not return his call!

Oh yes, because this isn’t just sex; this isn’t the thrill of a casual hook-up and this isn’t me in charge. This is much, much more dangerous.

He leans over my body and pushes the velvet head between my folds, and it feels surreal, delicious and erotic, and wrong. I clamp my legs together but he is firmly wedging them wide.

“Condom!” I cry, but it sounds more like a screech because he physically recoils at the volume.

“Sorry?” He looks down to where we are almost joined. He nudges a little further, and I curve my spine sharply, ensuring minimum safe distance.

“Condom, Jason,” I repeat, but his eyes narrow, and he breathes in deeply through his nose like I have said something irritating.

“You’re clean…I’m clean. You told me last time you were on birth control. I don’t want to wear a condom with you, Sam.” He grates out the words slowly with a touch of menace.

“You can’t be serious, Jason. I’m a whore!” That made him flinch, his jaw clenches, and his eyes look like they could burn my soul right out of me. He is furious.

“I don’t give a shit what
you
call yourself, Sam. Give me one damn reason why I can’t fuck you bareback. One reason relating to health that is, because I won’t accept any other reason.” His tone softens. I can’t believe he doesn’t care that I’m a whore.

I mean I can’t believe that he obviously cares but not about that, and he doesn’t even know the truth.

I am in so much trouble.

I shake my head, and with agility and precision, he rolls me onto my back, sinking balls deep in one violent thrust. We both let out a groan filled with angst and ecstasy. He drives deep and deeper still with every pump of his hips, and I meet him stroke for stroke. Fire and lust course through my veins, my fingers grab and claw at his body. His shoulders are solid under my fingertips, and taut muscles flex and move with each undulation. His hands sweep every part of my body, light and searching, coveting. His whole body covers mine. His body leads and mine follows. We move together as one, in tune, in sync…in lov— “Arhhhhh” I scream when he pulls me tight, angles his hips and sucks hard on my neck. Overwhelmed, out of control and out of nowhere I come…hard. Tiny white stars streak my vision, I can’t breathe, and that sound I made is probably the last noise I will ever make. The power of speech has left me.