Disgrace (5 page)

“Oh, you have been busy.” I straighten myself creating a cool, noticeable distance.

“Daniel was just as much my wingman as I was his before he met Bethany, and you know that. I’m not being intrusive; I am stating a fact. You weren’t always a Domme.” His dismissive tone is doing little to calm my irritation.

“I doubt Daniel would’ve disclosed any details, but if he did, he would’ve informed you it was one time and it was the very last part of my training. My instructor insisted I understand both ends of the whip as it were.” I clarify stiffly.

“Quite right, too.” He nods in agreement.

“But that doesn’t make me a sub, Jason.”

“No, Samantha, it doesn’t, but you enjoyed it, so that does, in fact, make you a switch.” His gaze seems to sear right through me with fire and so much desire I’m starting to melt. What exactly I am struggling with? Is it that I actually
like
the turn this conversation has taken? No…I can’t… I won’t let it go there.

“Not necessarily but your point is what exactly?” My attempt at annoyance seems to amuse him. He moves his hand from his drink to lightly pinch my chin making sure he holds my full attention. Not that I could look anywhere else…not that I’d
want
to.

“My point, Selina, is that I want you to
switch
for me.” His lethal glare scorches my breath from my lungs as I let out an inaudible gasp. “So tell me, Selina, what is it going to take?” His assured cockiness is interrupted by my incredulous laugh.

“Oh, Jason, that is sweet, and I’m flattered, really I am.” His instant scowl darkens at my flippancy and condescending tone.

“What is it about me that you think is sweet exactly? Do I look like a man who doesn’t get everything he wants?” He slips his hand around the back of my head and grabs a tight hold of my long, sleek ponytail. I don’t flinch but my heart does feel like it is trying to beat its way through my chest.

“Do I?” I retort and hold his fiery gaze.

“Damn-it, Selina, you most definitely do
not
look like a man.” He laughs out, then his lips quickly bite back a grin. “Give me one day.” He pauses to let the words sink in but the evident confusion must be etched on my face because it makes him clarify further. “Give me one day to change your mind. Spend the whole day with me and if I can’t convince you to submit to me…then…”

“Then?” I tip my chin for his answer but my movement is still restricted by his hold.

“Then it will be the first time I do
not
get what I want.” He grumbles, and I laugh loudly shaking free from his grip.

“And if I do agree to submit… it will be a miracle.” I taunt.

He stands, stepping into my personal space, putting pressure enough to widen my legs to accommodate him just that little bit closer. “I’ll pick you up first thing in the morning.” He leans down, his words kiss my neck like a tempting promise.

“Tomorrow? It’s Christmas Day.” I sag a little when he moves away, fighting the moan at the sudden loss of heat.

“Perfect day for a miracle.” He pauses at the doorway, holding my gaze for long seconds before stepping through the curtain leaving me a mess of heat and confusion.

“W
hat the fuck! You scared the crap out of me, Daniel! What are you doing here?” The door to my office swings open, and apart from the night security guard, I thought the whole office block was empty. As it should be this late on Christmas Eve.

“I am going to ask you the very same question. You are going to make me feel like Ebenezer if you tell me you are working.” He flicks the main light on because I have been hunched over my laptop with just the glow of the screen to illuminate my office. I blink and rub my eyes at the instant bright light.

“No, not working, just trying to find
unobtainium
. It’s proving a little tricky.” I slap the lid of my laptop shut and stretch my spine out with my knuckles, cracking a few pockets of air as I do. I feel the late hour now, and I am suddenly tired. Daniel strides into the room and walks straight to the shelf where I keep my best whiskey. He pours two fingers in each glass and hands me one. Taking the chair opposite, his face is impossible to read even after all these years of working as his number two. But his raised brow is indication enough that he is listening.

“I got a second chance with Sam. Just one day…tomorrow. I don’t want to blow it but I have sort of left myself no time to actually sort anything special.” Daniel lets out a clipped laugh and sips his drink.

“I wouldn’t waste your time.” He notices my back straighten, but waves his hand to stop my misunderstanding. “Back down, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant Sam, or more likely Selina, will have been to every fancy restaurant, gallery, concert…whatever in the city. You name it, she will have seen it all on the arm of one of her clients. I doubt she would consider anything like that
special
. What else have you got?” He swirls the amber liquid and fixes me with his intense boardroom stare. Usually I don’t have a problem with that particular look because, in a business setting, I am never without answers and solutions. In this instance, however, I have left myself absolutely no time. I have no solutions to my own problem. I hold both my hands up in surrender.

“I’ve got nothing. I was planning to spend the morning at the Mission, Skype the family in the afternoon and then watch all the versions of
A Christmas Carol
on Netflix…Hardly earth shattering, heart stealing activities.” I take a large gulp and wince at the hit of alcohol. I let out a heavy sigh.

“Is that your plan? You want to steal her heart?” His voice is level, and his face is again implacable. I’d hate him for that if I didn’t consider him one of my best friends.

“She may have kicked me to the curb after the wedding, even when I knew there was something more. I felt it, and she sure as shit did, too. Maybe that’s why she ended it before…I don’t know. Whatever the reason, she shut me down. I’ve given her time, but it’s enough now. I know she still feels the same. You can cut the fucking sexual tension with a chainsaw when we’re in the same room and up until tonight we’ve never actually been alone. Tonight, I made my play. Had the whole Christmas miracle thing as my backdrop. She didn’t stand a chance. Anyway, it’s Christmas, and I promised to change her mind about us… if she’d give me one day.” His lips curl with a knowing smile, and I feel tension build at the bridge of my nose. “I know…I know…I may not have been thinking with my head…not entirely anyway…It’s Christmas Eve…everything is shut…I’m totally screwed.” I take another long draw of my drink.

“You do know what she does for a living?” His tone almost sounds like a warning. I fire my own judgmental scowl at him. “Look, I’m not saying that to be an arsehole. I just want you to go into this with your eyes wide open.” He shrugs lightly, and I relax because any hint of judgment was clearly on my end.

“I’m no fucking saint, Daniel. I own a sex club, and I didn’t buy
any
club, I bought the club where she works exclusively. So yes, I know what she does, and it doesn’t make the slightest difference to me.” I focus on the swirling liquid, a mix of gold and lightning bouncing off the cut crystal. I murmur more to myself. “There is something about her—”

“Does she know you’re the sole owner of the club? Does she know why you bought it I mean?” He interrupts my musing.

“She thinks I’m a part owner, and no…that might creep her out.” I have the decency to look a little sheepish. I definitely had my own selfish reasons for buying the club. For one, I could be there on a regular basis without looking like a manwhore. But, more importantly, as the owner, I was able to censor the membership list and, subsequently, Sam’s pool of potential clients. I also told myself at the time I just wanted to be close in case she needed my help. It took no time at all to realise that Selina could more than take care of herself, and I was kidding myself that she was any type of damsel in distress.

“You want my advice? Be honest the first chance you get. One thing I do remember about Sam is she doesn’t like lies. In fact, from memory, she thinks all men are liars so you, my friend, are not off to a stellar start.” He grins.

“Maybe not, but that makes two of us, and I am not technically lying” I sniff at the hypocrisy of my statement. “What else do you remember?” I pause, hoping my loaded question is heard loud and clear.

“Hmm.” His brows knit together with unease. “You put me in rather an awkward position, Jason.” He narrows his eyes, but I hold his stare.

“I know.” I raise my brow for him to continue. For him to answer my question.

“Only because you are pursuing this as a relationship I will answer as my conscience allows. I was asked to complete Sam’s training. Her mentor believed in order to give pain one must understand pain.” He repeats what Sam had told him earlier. “I didn’t fuck her. That wasn’t the point of the session.”

“What was the point? Or was it just about the pain?” I find myself leaning forward eager for the insight.

“It was about pleasure,” he replies without inflection.

“Did she enjoy it?” My jaw tenses at this, and I feel an angry heat burn in my chest. Stupid I know; it was a long time ago. Before I’d even moved to London, but the thought that someone else gave her pleasure through pain drives me a little crazy. That’s what I want…me and only me.

“You would have to ask her that. I don’t believe she was disappointed with the outcome…” He pauses, but my stomach is already churning with distaste. “Honestly, I don’t think pleasure is what she took from it. She has too many barriers for one session, but then, the purpose wasn’t to train a sub. The purpose was for her to understand her role as a Domme, and that was an unmitigated success.” He switches back to my more urgent concern, effectively halting any further questions I might have that he is clearly not going to answer. “If you ask me you have solved your own problem. Take her with you tomorrow…be with
her.
Be with Sam not Selina. You want to be with her. She is never going to believe that if all your interactions are at the club. Show her you understand the difference.” He knocks back the remaining whiskey and places the glass on my desk. His words sink in with the same warmth the liquor is causing in my bloodstream. He is right. That’s perfect. I leave my glass with the remaining finger of whiskey untouched.

“When did you get so smart about women?” I stand and grab my jacket from the back of my chair.

“Since I married an exceptional one.” His retort is deadpan, like I have asked the most ridiculous question.

“Too bad it hasn’t rubbed off on you then…coming to work at eleven thirty on Christmas Eve—” I quip and switch the lights off as we both leave my office.

“I dropped Bethany at Sofia’s family for midnight mass. I may have left her gift in my office safe.” He smiles and holds his hand out.

“Fuck! That is a first. Good to see you’re just as fallible as the rest of us mortals.” I laugh and shake his hand before I turn to leave. “Merry Christmas. Send my love to Bethany,” I call to his retreating back.

“Good luck tomorrow, Jason…you’re going to need it!” I almost miss the last part as the lift arrives with a loud ping, but I heard it…loud and clear.