Dissolve (15 page)

He kisses me right there, the night cool on his lips. And I know, deep down, that this is where I’m meant to be – with him, beside him, dissolved in his heart and his mind as he is in mine.

We aren’t perfect. But we’re together. And that night, my nightmares are nowhere to be found. They become less and less, and soon I stop having them altogether. Soon, Kai shows me he’s not going anywhere – his tenderness and possessiveness more than enough to keep me coming back for more. Every day I learn something new about him – and even when we have our rare arguments, it always ends up with us learning more about each other than ever. I have my memories of being abused to work through, and he has his own memories of abuse. We’re mirror images of each other, and our similar hurt knits us closer than I ever thought I could be with another human being.

I don’t know what the future holds, but as long as I have him, I know I won’t dissolve.

One Christmas break, we go back to our old town, just to see how much it’s changed. All the mom and pop stores are replaced by strip malls, but our favorite parks are still here, our high school still the same as it always was – run down and full of old gum and graffiti. He kisses me on the football field.

“I imagined, after every game we won, that I’d kiss you,” He confesses. “I imagined you running down the stands and into the fields, right at me. I’d pick you up and spin you around, like this.”

He picks me up, spinning me slightly, and I shriek delightedly.

“Let go to the dam,” I say when he puts me down.

“Good idea,” He smirks.

The dam is a good twenty minutes away from the school, but on his motorcycle we make it easily. It’s a view I used to despise, a view that was the only thing that could calm me, sometimes.

We stand on the edge of the damn and watch the sun go down.

“I’m glad,” I say finally. “I’m glad you found me up here, when we were kids.”

“Me too,” he grins. This place is so different now that time’s passed – but it’s then I realize I’m the one who’s changed, not the place itself.

“I feel like, if I could tell my past self something, I would.”

“You can,” he insists. “It’s worth a try. Who knows – maybe the flow of time and space will weaken, or the dimensional barriers will collapse, and your younger self will hear it.”

“Okay, don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not!” He protests. “Seriously, lioness. Sometimes it’s better to say these things than keep them inside, no matter how silly it seems.”

I breathe in slowly, and out even slower. I try to call up my memories of all those nights alone up here, wondering what death was like, trying to convince myself death was better than to keep living.

“You’re wrong,” I say to the air. “You’re wrong, young me. I know it hurts, but you’re okay in the future. In the future, you’re in love. You’re not broken forever, I promise.”

Kai hugs me closer, and clears his throat.

“You too, young me,” He says. “Do me a favor and get over yourself and ask her out. She’s the best thing that can ever happen to you.”

“God, I take it back,” I say to young me. “Never date a guy named Kai. He’s so cheesy he’ll make you vomit.”

“You love it,” He laughs, and I snuggle into his chest further with a satisfied smile.

“I do.”

We eventually leave, the dam too cold to stay for long. I look back once at the edge, Kai waiting for me on his motorcycle. The wind plays with my hair, and the last thing I can think is of the girl sitting on that edge, so alone, wishing only to dissolve into the water as if she never existed.

Don’t dissolve, younger me. Life is worth living.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

As always, you the reader are the first person to thank. Thank you for reading this story, for joining me on this adventure of two heartbroken characters finding each other. If you want to find more sweet and sexy stories like this, please keep an eye out on my amazon author page.

A big shout out to Gina, my editor and forever partner in crime. Kai is hers, but she’ll have to fight Evelyn for him, and that’s a book for another day.

L.V. Hunter is the romance penname of an Amazon bestselling author. With a penchant for angst and happily ever afters, L.V. writes hot, sweet, and sexy tales of couples finding true love, and true happiness. She can be reached at [email protected]