I opened my mouth for the billionth time, but just like all the other times, I couldn’t seem to find my words. My breaths were coming in short as the Range Rover rolled to a stop at a dock and Calix killed the engine. I was startled to find another black SUV rolling to a stop beside ours and I squinted my eyes trying to see into the other vehicles window. I couldn’t make out the faces of the forms, but I didn’t have to wonder long who the figures belonged to. The doors opened and Neil and another man stepped out from the vehicle. Beside me, Calix opened his door and stepped out onto the dock. Hurriedly, I followed suit.
There was no discussion as the four of us boarded a boat. Calix pushed me beneath the awning to keep me shielded from the rain before dressing me in a life jacket. Then, he started the boat and took off onto the wavy ocean water. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the rocking of the boat over the water, and the nausea it sparked in my belly. Obviously, the baby wasn’t a fan of water - which was ironic, really, as water was where our child had been conceived.
***
Calix pulled the boat up to a large dock that protruded out into the ocean water from the island. Yes, Calix had taken me to an island right off the mainland of Sitka Alaska. I knew Sitka housed multiple islands, some had been purchased privately and others remained barren, waiting patiently for ownership. This particular island obviously belonged to Calix. There was a large house sitting a small distance from the ocean shore, and trees surrounded it on three sides. It was beautiful. It had hundreds of windows. Hell, the entirety of the house was glass, and I couldn’t help but wonder, how Calix, my man of many secrets, was comfortable in a glass house.
Between the countless panes of glass, was the structure of the house. It appeared to be crafted by wood, not quite log, but exposed wood none-the-less. It truly was a sight and if Calix were excited to show me, I knew I would be happier about being here.
Calix spoke to Neil and the other man. “There is a guest house behind the main house. There is a surveillance system in place in which you can see anyone approaching the island from every angle. Eyes are to be on the system at all times.”
“Yes, Sir.” Neil nodded and the other man beside him followed suit.
Calix said nothing more as his hand wrapped once more around my wrist, and he pulled me along beside him toward the main house. The path we took up to the house was cobblestone, and artfully lain. The porch we walked up was an obvious wrap around, and I couldn’t help but think that this house, right here, was my dream house. It was everything and more that I had ever wanted in a home - and yet, I couldn’t deny that I missed the house Calix had in the Alberta Rockies.
As he opened the door and guided me inside, I felt my breath catch in my throat. The view from the inside of the house was picturesque. The cabinetry and flooring had been stained a dark cherry wood and the countertop was a creamy off-white granite with veins of gold and splashes of red. The living area was open to the kitchen and there was a large fireplace crafted of the same cobble-looking stone that had built the walkway outside. It stretched up into the roof, and I couldn’t wait to have a fire raging, the flames igniting the room in the kind of warmth that only fire can offer.
My eyes moved from the fireplace to the living area sprawled before it. A large brown leather couch sat with two cream-colored statement chairs, also made of leather. There was a large plush off-white shag rug sitting on the living room floor that I couldn’t wait to sink my feet into.
“The bedrooms are upstairs. I’ve had a wardrobe ordered for you, but it’s not arrived yet, so you’ll have to do with what I’ve purchased from town until it arrives.” He wasn’t looking at me as he spoke, and I felt my throat closing in fear.
“Calix,” I stepped toward him. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” His reply was short and to the point. Something was most definitely wrong.
He walked to the kitchen, and I watched through worried eyes, as he opened the fridge to pull a beer from within. I had never known Calix to drink beer. If anything, he drank wine or champagne - but never beer.
“Something is wrong.” I insisted, watching as he took a long swig from the tall-necked bottle.
After two months of being without the man, I couldn’t believe, that in our reunion, I was watching his lips cover the rim of a beer bottle, instead of my own lips. After two months, I couldn’t believe he was across the room from me, rather than circling me in the steady warmth of his embrace. I just - my mind simply could not connect the dots.
As though the sound of my voice annoyed him, he slammed his bottle down against the counter and I flinched in shock and fear of the man I loved. “You want to know what’s wrong?” He yelled and I didn’t move. Hell, I
couldn’t
move. I couldn’t even speak. “You’re not supposed to be here!”
As though his words had slapped me, I stepped back. I felt my skin pale as my blood rushed straight from my head to my feet. Sorrow clogged the valves of my bleeding heart and I could have sworn, that I was a mere moment from death. I whispered my demand shakily, “What?”
“I fucking let you go, Nova.” He shook his head and gripped the lip of the counter. His head was bowed between tired shoulders and his arms were shaking. “You’re not supposed to be here. You’re not safe - with me.” He lifted his head and his eyes were shimmering with emotions I never thought, in my wildest dreams that I would see. “I let you go to save you. I let you go to save you and our baby - but you came back.”
“Stop.” I pleaded, moving quickly across the space toward him.
I didn’t know if I was moving toward him to save him, or to save myself. In this moment, none of that mattered, because the truth of it all was that neither Calix, nor I, could exist apart from each other. We are two halves of the same soul - we are one. Despite the demons of our past, the simple fact of it all is that, when push comes to shove, you can’t fight fate. Fate is the mother of all things twisted and dire. She’s the bearer of pain and wrong, but in the wake of such devastations, her talent finds a way bloom something beautiful.
Calix’s parents were always supposed to die by the hands of my father, and revenge was always supposed to thrive in Calix’s blood. He was always supposed to take me - and we were always supposed to fall in love - because this war was one we were always assumed to fight.
When I arrived next to him, I moved with caution between his large body and the unwavering counter he was gripping. Dipping my body beneath one outstretched arm, I positioned my very vulnerable frame between Calix and the counter. I could feel his breath washing over my face as he tried to restrain his angry emotions.
I didn’t consider the monster my husband housed as I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my chest tight to his front, to hold him. I could feel his chest heaving with his every strangled breath and I memorized the unsteady beating of his wild heart. His hands were still on the counter, and I could still feel their trembling as he squeezed his large hands around the granite lip hanging over the cabinetry. I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was calming the rage within Calix.
“You think you were saving me and our baby, Calix, but you weren’t. We weren’t safe. Our baby wasn’t safe - without you.”
“How?” He gritted. “You were with your family - where you should be.”
“
You
are my family now, Calix. I love you.”
“How weren’t you safe?” He growled through tightly clenched teeth.
“My father wanted me to abort our baby.” I whispered against his chest - and he froze. “I couldn’t - I wouldn’t.” I shook my head. “But I couldn’t stay there anymore. I refuse to bring my baby, our baby, into a home where there is no love for it. I was leaving, Calix. I told my father that I was leaving. I won’t go back home, so please, please don’t make me leave you. I have no where else to go.” I was crying now, the tears were streaming uncontrollably down my face. “Please. I need you. Our baby needs his Daddy.”
“His?” He whispered and I realized my mistake.
“I don’t know - if it’s a boy or not.”
“But?”
“But it’s a feeling.” I whispered again.
Finally, Calix’s hands uncurled from the granite to then lock on my waist. “A feeling.” He pulled back to look down into my face. “I don’t know how we’re going to fight this war, love. But I do know your father won’t offer his blessing.”
“It doesn’t matter if he gives his blessing. I’m already yours.” I watched his blue eyes flutter closed and his lips parted on a gasped breath.
“Say it again.” He demanded.
“I’m yours.”
An animalistic sound pulled from the deep of his throat before my body was lifted quickly and swiftly onto the countertop. Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
Calix had always been calculating. He’d never lost his control with me. Every time we’d made love, or had sex, it had been planned and plotted by this man who’s eyes were now wild as they roamed over every inch of my body before coming back to land on my face.
“I need you, love.”
“I’m yours.” I repeated, offering him the permission he seemed to need to take me.
Then, I felt his fingers dip into the waistband of my pants, and then they were gone. In the distant recesses of my mind, I heard the fabric fall onto the floor. Calix’s hands moved quickly to the hem of my shirt, before tugging it from my body. He wasted no time in removing me of my panties and bra, sitting me back down on the cool granite countertop - but I couldn’t even concentrate on the discomfort of the biting chill of the stone beneath me. I mean, how could my mind linger on the chill of stone when there were eyes so blue and hot trailing their blazing path over my body?
I watched with a wildly beating heart as his eyes settled on my breasts and the corner of his mouth lifted in the formations of a grin. When he spoke, his voice was deep and husky. “You’re breasts are larger, love.”
Feeling suddenly self-conscious, I moved my hands to cover the swollen flesh. I defended on a wounded sounding reply. “I’m pregnant.”
His hands curled around my wrists, before he forcedly tugged my hands from my breasts. “Don’t hide yourself from me, love. Ever.” His words sounded on a tense growl. “I love knowing my marks were on you even when we couldn’t be together.”
I felt my eyes soften and I knew then, how very much I belonged to Calix McKnight. “I love you.” I whispered. “But right now, I need you inside me. It’s been too long and I,”
My words were cut off as his hot mouth slammed against mine. Words disintegrated in my mind as my body reunited with Calix in a way I had ached, for two months, to do. His hands were everywhere and nowhere at once. As he stepped between my legs, closer to the counter, and closer to me, I moved my hands to the hem of his shirt to tug it over his head. Our kiss was interrupted only long enough for the material to escape his body, and then his mouth was covering mine.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, loving the feeling of his bare torso against the flesh of my inner thighs. Then, I felt his hands move from my waist as his lips trailed down to my neck, then to the crease between my throat and my shoulder. I felt his teeth there, a gentle nip, and my breath caught on an already strangled sigh.
“Oh,” I moaned breathily as he caught my breast in his mouth. I arched my back as he suckled my achingly sensitive nipple into the wet warmth of his mouth.
And then I heard the buckle of his belt - the sound of his zipper - the rustling fabric of his jeans. And then he was inside me.
My eyes flew open and a startled cry broke the breathy silence as I gripped tight to his shoulders. Calix didn’t still as I had expected, but instead, he moved quick and without deliberation. There was no doubt in my mind that he’d been lost to his need for me - because this was so very unlike him. It was madness and crazed desire - but I couldn’t deny, as I began moving my hips to meet his every determined thrust, that I didn’t love it.
As he rocked inside of me, I closed my eyes and listened to the breathy groans spilling from between his beautiful lips. I don’t know what it was, but his every sound heightened my lust for my husband as he rocked inside of me, hitting that sweet spot that brought me release. I felt him swell deep inside of me, as his pace quickened - a tell that he was close. And that was good, because I knew, that I was only a moment away from shattering around him myself.
When we came together, my world felt, for the first time in months, complete.
Calix pulled back and a look of uncertainty clouded the intense blue of his eyes. “I’m sorry, love.” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have lost control like that with you.”
“Calix,” I placed my hand gently against his cheek. When he leaned into my touch, displaying a sweet vulnerability unbeknownst to Calix, my heart fluttered. “Never apologize for loving me.”
He smirked. “Loving you?” He shook his head again. “Nova, I devoured you.”
“And I liked it.” I held his eyes with my own, smiling only at the sight of his growing grin. “But now I’d really like to get myself dressed in something warmer than the granite on my rear. And then I want to be fed.”
Calix wasted no time in lifting me easily from the countertop. As he walked toward the stairs, I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist and reveled in the knowledge that I was finally safe with the man I loved.
***
Calix and I shared a bowl of diced fruit before we retired to bed for the night. I was exhausted after my extensive travelling and well-played escape. Even as my mind strayed to thoughts of Jaylah, and I gave a little prayer that she was handling my father with grace and ease, I fell into quick sleep.
When I awoke to a frighteningly dark room, my heart slammed in my throat and a scream ripped from the confines of my throat. A warm length moved against my body and my terror rose to an all time high as I realized it was a body.
“Nova?” A deep, throaty voice spoke my name. “Nova, you’re okay, love.”
Calix
.
It was only Calix.
I’d made it back to Calix.