Do Penguins Have Knees? (40 page)

saltwater coloration

sleep patterns

urination

See also specific types

Fish tanks, oxygen in

Flagpoles, balls atop

Flags, Japanese, red beams and

Flags, U.S.

half-mast

on airplanes

“Flak,”

“Flammable,” versus “inflammable,”

“Flash in the pan,”

Flashlights, police and grips of

Flat toothpicks, purpose of

“Flea market,”

Files

landing patterns of

winter and

Flintstones, Barney Rubble’s profession on

Flintstones multivitamins, Betty Rubble and

Floaters in eyes

Floral graphics on mattresses

Florida, cost of auto rentals in

“Flotsam,” versus “jetsam,”

Flour, bleached

Flour bugs, provenance of

Flour tortillas, size of, versus corn

Flu, body aches and

Fluorescent lights and plinking noises

Flush handles, toilets and

Flushes, loud, toilets in public restrooms and

Fly swatters, holes in

FM radio, odd frequency numbers of

Food cravings in pregnant women

Food labels

“FD&C” on label

lack of manufacturer street addresses

Football

barefoot kickers in

college, redshirting in

distribution of game balls

goalposts, tearing down of

measurement of first-down yardage

origins of “hut” in

Pittsburgh Steelers’ helmet emblems

shape of

sideline population in

two-minute warning and

yardage of kickers in

“Fore,” origins of golf expression

Forewords in books, versus introductions and prefaces

Forks, switching hands to use

“Fortnight,”

Fraternities, Greek names of

“Freebooter”

Freezer compartments, location of, in refrigerators

Freezers

ice trays in

lights in

French dry cleaning

French horns, design of

“French” bread versus “Italian,”

“French” style green beans

Frogs

eye closure when swallowing

warts and

Frogs of violins, white dots on

Frostbite, penguin feet and

Fruitcake, alleged popularity of

“Fry,”

Fuel gauges in automobiles

“Fullback,”

Full-service versus self-service, pricing of, at gas stations

Funeral homes, size of

Funerals

burials without shoes

depth of graves

head position of, in caskets

orientation of deceased

perpetual care and

small cemeteries and

“Funk,”

“G.I.”

Gagging, hairs in mouth and

Gallons and quarts, American versus British

Game balls, distribution of football

Gasoline, pricing of, in tenths of a cent

Gasoline gauges, automobile

Gasoline pumps

rubber sleeves on

shut off of

Gasoline stations, full-service versus self-service, pricing of

Gasoline, unleaded, cost of

Gauge, width of railroad

Gauges, fuel, in automobiles

Geese, honking during migration

Gelatin, fruit in

“Gerrymander,”

“Get the sack,”

“Get your goat,”

“Getting down to brass tacks,”

Gifts, children and

Girdles and fat displacement

Glass, broken

Glasses, drinking

squeakiness of

“sweating” of

Glasses, wine, types of

Glitter, sidewalks and

Glow-in-the-dark items, green color of

Glue

stickiness in the bottle

“Super” versus conventional

“Super,” and Teflon

taste of postage stamp

Glutamates, MSG and

Gnats, swarming of

Goalies, banging of sticks by

Goalposts, football, tearing down of

“Goat,”

Goats, kids versus adult

“Gobbledygook,”

Gold bullion, shape of

Golf

origins of eighteen holes

origins of term “fore,”

pain of miss-hits

Golf balls

dimples on

veering toward ocean while putting

Golfers and sunglasses

Gondolas, black color of

“Good Friday,” origins of term

Goofy

identity of

marital status of

Goofy, Jr., origins of

Goosebumps, faces and

Gorillas, chest pounding of

Gowns, and caps, at graduations

Grades in school, E

Grading of cigarettes

Grading of eggs, meaning of

Graduations, military academy

“Grandfather” clock, origins of term

Grape jellies, color of

Grapefruit, sweetness of, canned versus fresh

“Grape-nuts,”

Grapes, raisins and

Gravel and placement on flat roofs

Graves, depth of

Gravy skin loss, when heated

“Gravy train,”

Grease, color of

Grecian Formula, process of

Greek names of fraternities and sororities

Green beans, “French” style

Green color of glow-in-the-dark items

Green lights, versus red lights, on boats and airplanes

“Green with envy,”

“Green” cards, color of

“Greenhorn,”

Greeting cards, shape of

Gretzky, Wayne, hockey uniform

Grimace, identity of McDonald’s

Grocery coupons, cash value of

Grocery sacks, names on

Grocery stores and check approval

Groom, carrying bride over threshold by

Growling of stomach, causes of

Guitar strings, dangling of

Gulls, sea, in parking lots

Gum, chewing

water consumption and hardening of

wrappers of

“Gunny sacks,”

“Guy,”

“Habit [riding costume],”

“Hackles,”

Hail, measurement of

Hair

blue, and older women

growth of, after death

length of, in older women

mole, color of

parting, left versus right

Hair color, darkening of, in babies

Hair spray, unscented, smell of

Hairbrushes, length of handles on

Hairs in mouth, gagging on

Hairy ears in older men

Half dollars, vending machines and

“Halfback,”

Half-mast, flags at

Half-moon versus quarter moon

Half-numbers in street addresses

Halibut, coloring of

Halloween, Jack-o’-lanterns and

Halogen lightbulbs, touching of

Ham

checkerboard pattern atop

color of, when cooked

Easter and consumption of

“Ham [actor],”

Hamburger buns, bottoms of

“Hamburger,” origins of term

“Hamfatter,”

Hand dryers in bathrooms

Hand positions in old photographs

Handles versus knobs, on doors

Handwriting, teaching of cursive versus printing

“Hansom cab,”

Happy endings, crying and

Hard hats

backward positioning of, in ironworkers

exterminators and

Hard-boiled eggs, discoloration of

Hat tricks, in hockey

Hats

cowboy, dents on

declining popularity

holes in sides of

numbering system for sizes

Haystacks, shape of

“Hazard [dice game],”

“Head [bathroom],”

“Head honcho,”

Head injuries, “seeing stars” and

Head lice, kids and

Headaches and aspirin

Headbands on books

Headlamps, shutoff of automobile

“Heart on his sleeve,”

Hearts, shape of, idealized versus real

Heat and effect on sleep

“Hector,”

“Heebie jeebies,”

Height

clearance signs on highways

of elderly

restrictions on fences

voice pitch and

Heinz ketchup labels

Helicopters, noise of

Helium and effect on voice

Hellmann’s Mayonnaise, versus Best Foods

“Hem and haw,”

“Hep,”

Hermit crabs, bathroom habits of

Hernia exams and “Turn your head and cough,”

“Heroin,”

“High bias,” versus “low bias,” on audio tape

“High jinks,”

High-altitude tennis balls

“Highball,”

Highways

clumping of traffic

curves on

interstate, numbering system

traffic jams, clearing of

weigh stations

“Hillbilly,”

Hills, versus mountains

“Hip,”

“Hobnob,”

“Hobson’s choice,”

Hockey

banging of sticks by goalies

hat trick

Montreal Canadiens uniforms

Wayne Gretzky’s uniform

“Hold a candle,”

“Holding the bag,”