Do Penguins Have Knees? (38 page)

Read Do Penguins Have Knees? Online

Authors: David Feldman

“Cats and dogs, raining,”

“Catsup,”

Cattle guards, effectiveness of

“Cattycorner,”

Cavities, dogs and

CDs, Tuesday release of

Ceiling fans

direction of blades

dust and

Ceilings of train stations

Celery in restaurant salads

Cement

laying of

versus concrete

Cemeteries

financial strategies of owners of

perpetual care and

Ceramic tiles in tunnels

Cereal

calorie count of

joining of flakes in bowl

Snap! and Rice Krispies

Chalk outlines of murder victims

Champagne

aluminum foil on neck of

name of, versus sparkling wine

Channel 1, lack of, on televisions

Chariots, Roman, flimsiness of

“Checkmate,”

Checks

approval in supermarkets

numbering scheme of

out-of-state acceptance of

white paper attachments

Checks, canceled

numbers on

returned, numerical ordering of

white paper attachments

Cheddar cheese, orange color of

Cheese

American, milk in Kraft

cheddar, orange color of

string, characteristics of

Swiss, holes in

Swiss, slice sizes of

Chef’s hat, purpose of

Chewing gum

lasting flavor

water consumption and hardening of

wrapping of

Chewing motion in elderly people

Chianti and straw-covered bottles

Chicken

cooking time of

versus egg

white meat versus dark meat

“Chicken tetrazzini,”

Children, starving, and bloated stomachs

Children’s reaction to gifts

Chime signals on airlines

Chirping of crickets, at night

Chocolate

Easter bunnies

shapes of

white versus brown

wrapping of boxed

Chocolate milk, consistency of

“Chops,”

Chopsticks, origins of

“Chowderhead,”

Christmas card envelopes, bands around

Christmas tree lights

burnout of

lack of purple bulbs in

Cigar bands, function of

Cigarette butts, burning of

Cigarettes

grading

odor of first puff

spots on filters

Cigars, new fathers and

Cities, higher temperatures in compared to outlying areas

Civil War, commemoration of

“Claptrap”

Clasps, migration of necklace and bracelet

Cleansers, “industrial use” versus “household”

Clef, treble, dots on

Clicking noise of turn signals, in automobiles

Climate, West Coast versus East coast

Clocks

clockwise movement of

grandfather

number 4 on

Roman numerals

school, backward clicking of minute hands in

versus watches, distinctions between

Clockwise, draining, south of the Equator

“Cloud nine”

Clouds

disappearance of

location of

rain and darkness of

Clouds in tap water

“Cob/cobweb”

Coca-Cola

2-liter bottles

taste of different size containers

Cockroaches

automobiles and

death position of

reaction to light

Coffee

bags in lavatories of airplanes

bags versus cans

electric drip versus electric perk in

restaurant versus home-brewed

Coffee, decaffeinated

leftover caffeine usage

orange pots in restaurants

Coffeemakers, automatic drip, cold water and

Coins

lettering on U.S. pennies

red paint on

serrated edges of

smooth edges of

Cola bottles, one- and two-liter, black bottom of

Colas, carbonation in

Cold water and automatic drip coffeemakers

Colds

body aches and

clogged nostrils and

liquids as treatment for

symptoms at night of

“Coleslaw”

“Collins, Tom [drink]”

Color

blood

cash register receipts

wet things

Comic strips and capital letters

Commercials, television, loudness of

Commonwealths, versus states

Computers

erased files on

monitors, shape of

Concrete, versus cement

Conserves, contents of

Construction cranes, assembling of

Construction sites

bill posting at

pine trees and

soaping of retail windows

Consumer Price Index, changes in base year of

Containers, for rain measurement

Contemporary greeting cards, shape of

Coolers, Styrofoam, blue specks on

“Cooties”

“Cop”

Copper bowls and egg whites

Copyright pages, strange numbers on

Coriolis effect

Corn chips, black specks on

Corn flakes, calorie count of

Corn silk, purpose of

Corn tortillas, size of, versus flour

Corn, baby, supermarkets and

Cornish game hens, identity of

“Corny”

Corvette

Cottage cheese, origins of

Cotton

in medicine bottles

shrinkage of, versus wool

Cough medicine, alcohol in

Countdown Leader, film and

Counterclockwise, draining, north of the Equator

Counters on VCRs and audio recorders

Coupons

cash value

expiration date

versus mail-in refunds

Courtooms, bibles in

“Couth”

Covered bridges, purpose of

Cow Palace, naming of

Cowboy hats, dents on

Cows

calves and

milking positions

nose rings and

sticking of tongues up nostrils of

CPR training in schools

Crabs, hermit, “bathroom habits” of

Crackling sound of fire

Cracks on sidewalks

Cranes, construction, assembling of

“Craps”

Cravings, food, pregnant women and

Credit card receipts, printing of, at gas stations

Credit card slips, and phone numbers

Credit cards

and waiter tips

dipping versus swiping and

major versus minor

quick swiping of

Crickets

chapped legs and chirping

chirping at night of

“Crisscross”

“Crocodile” shirts

Crowd estimates, police and

Crowing of roosters

Cruise controls, minimum speeds of

Crying at happy endings

Cue balls, dots on, in pool

Cups

drinking, width of

shape of paper and plastic

Curad bandages, wrappers of

Curly tails of pigs

Currency, color of

Cursive handwriting versus printing, teaching of

Curves on highways

“Cut and dried”

“Cut the mustard”

Cuts, paper, pain and

 

 

 

Daily Doubles in
Jeopardy
, difficulty of

Dalmatians in firehouses

Dams, beavers and

Dance studios, floor location of

Dancing, men versus women

“Dandelion”

“Dangerous Curve” signs, placement of

Dartboards, numbering schemes of

DC, AC and

De Paul University and “Blue Demons”

“Dead End” signs, versus “No Outlet” signs

“Deaf and dumb”

Decaffeinated coffee

leftover caffeine usage

orange pots in restaurants

“Deep-six”

Deer, automobile headlights and

Deer ornaments, plastic lawn

Dehumidifiers, operation of

Delaware, incorporations in

Dentist offices, smell of

Deodorant aerosols, shaking of

Desert, rising cool air in

Dessert, fast-food restaurants and

Detergents, laundry

bleach in

package sizes of

Detroit Red Wings and octopus throwing

Diagonal measurement of TV sets

Dictionaries

pronunciation and

thumb notches in

Diet soft drinks

calorie constituents in

phenylalanine as ingredient in

Dimples

auto headlamps

facial

golf balls

Dinner knives, rounded edges of

Other books

Death by Scones by Jennifer Fischetto
Genesis: The Story of Apollo 8 by Robert Zimmerman
Rogue's Honor by Brenda Hiatt
Transcendent by Katelyn Detweiler
Wisdom Keeper by Ilarion Merculieff