DREAM (31 page)

Epilogue

“Sshh.” I hush my baby boy as he whimpers in my arms. “It’s okay. Mama’s here.” I bounce him gently up and down. I smooth his fine blond baby hair down. What baby is born with a full head of hair? Only mine. He pushes out his bottom lip. I softly swipe away the lone tear on his cheek.

“There’s no reason to cry.” I coo over him. After a few moments, he falls back into a restful sleep and I place him back in his crib.

I make sure the baby monitor is on and head back down to the kitchen to finish cleaning. I have a decent size townhouse. There are three bedrooms and two baths. I had combined the place next door to this one for Trent and Bruce. They’ve not left my side since the day Gable and I divorced. I know they were there because of Gable’s orders, but I enjoyed having them.

I moved out of the city that next week and live in the suburbs. I thought about moving far away, but I changed my mind at the last moment. I don’t know why I did it, but I did.

I finish the dishes and put the few leftovers I had left into the fridge. I study the pictures I have taped to it. Gable James Butler II was almost ten pounds when he was born. Thankfully, the doctor did a c-section, and my bundle of joy, who gave me heartburn the last two months of my pregnancy, popped out. The nurse took the few pictures of Gabe and me in the hospital, since I didn’t have anyone else. Bruce and Trent stood outside my door, but Gable never showed up.

Gabe is two weeks old and today I received a dozen long stem roses. I know Gable knows where I am and I know he knew I was pregnant. Bruce let it slip after we moved into the townhouse. Occasionally, I would see a white Mercedes and no one had to tell me it was him, because I knew it was.

“Dream.” I turn to see Bruce in the doorway. “You have a visitor. Do you want me to show him in?”

My heart skips a beat. It’s Gable. He’s come to see his son. I can feel it in my bones. “Yes.” I choke. “He can come in.” I’m mad at how he treated me, but this is his son and I won’t deny him that.

I dry my hands as I head out of the kitchen toward the living room. I stop when I see him. He’s the same. Black pants, black shirt, red tie, and shaped beard. His hair is a little shorter, but his blue eyes are still bright.

“I’ll leave you two for the night.” Bruce nods toward Gable and walks out of the room.

Gable stands still. His hand deep in his pockets and he looks nervous, almost scared.

“Gable, is there a reason you came by?” I’m going to make him say it.

“May I see him?” His voice shakes.

“Yes.” I nod toward the stairs and we both head up.

Right outside Gabe’s door, Gable stops dead. His hands are shaking and for some reason, I think he might pass out.

“Hey.” I lightly touch his bicep. “It’s okay.”

I open Gabe’s door and touch on the tiny lamp on the dresser next to the door. Gable’s shoulder slump and I hear him sign in deep relief.

“If you ever came over, I wanted you to be able to come into the room.” I tell him.

Gabe’s room is stark white. The crib, rocking chair, dresser, changing table, and even his mobile are all white. I did it for Gable. I shouldn’t have, but I did.

“He is in the crib.” I point over to it. Gable walks over to him and peers over the side. “You can pick him up. He might whine a little bit, but he’s out for the next few hours.” I instruct him.

“I...I’ve never held a baby.” Gable confesses.

“Here.” I walk up next to him. The Miller Harris cologne is faint, but it still sends tingles. I pick up Gabe and place him in his arms. “You can sit there with him.” I point to the rocking chair.

Gable eases into the chair, not taking his eyes off Gabe. “I was in Japan.” He starts. “I would have forced my way into that hospital to be with you. I didn’t realize you were that close to delivering.”

Gabe jerks in his arms and whimpers a little bit. I touch his cheek and he simmers down.

“I’m sorry, Dream. I ruined everything.”

I remove my hand from my son’s cheek. “What do you mean?”

“I...I miss you.” Gable flicks his eyes to me. “I’m a fucking idiot. I never stopped loving you. I sure as hell didn’t want that divorce. I thought it was…” He stops and Gabe opens his eyes. “Oh my God.” Gable breathes out.

“He’s yours.” Gabe’s are the exact shade as Gable. I sniffle. Gable’s declarations are still bouncing in my head.

“I’m such a fuck-up.” The tears fall from his eyes.

I reach for Gabe and place him back in his crib and go back to Gable. “Talk to me. I want the truth.”

“I thought...I thought since all the threats were gone, that you would leave me. I was trying to save myself the heartache of you leaving.”

My blood boils. I jerk on Gable’s red tie and almost toss him out of Gabe’s room. I shut the door to help keep the noise levels down as I slap Gable across the face.

“You fucking prick.” I yell at him and he keeps his head down. “I didn’t leave your side at the hospital when you were unconscious. Do you think I was doing it for fun? I loved you. You were my first true love and you fucking broke my heart. I begged you to talk to me, but you shut me out like you always did. I knew you were hurting because of Gideon and I wanted to be there for you. But, like always, you did it your way.” I cover my mouth to try and regulate my breathing because I feel like I could blow fire from my mouth at that moment.

Gable lifts his head.

“Do you know how badly I wanted to tell you I was pregnant? Didn’t you realize how much I needed you as you needed me? I loved you, Gable. I fell in love with you and this is how you treated me. Spout off a bunch of lies and then throw some money my way to send me away.”

Gable says nothing.

“I told you if you lied to me again, I was leaving you. I didn’t want to, especially when I found about the baby. But, you did this.” I push on his chest, but he doesn’t move. “I’ve cried so hard for you. I’ve missed you so much. Every appointment, every ache and pain, everything that happened I wanted you there with me.”

There it is. My true feeling are spilling out like water over the side of a bucket. I’ve hid my feelings all this time, but in truth, all I want is for him to hold me again.

“Let me fix this.” Gable pleads. “I beg you, Dream. Let me fix this between us. Let’s be a family. Please.” He cups my face.

His gorgeous face is blotchy with tears and heartache. I know I don’t look much better as I taste the saltiness on my lips.

“Please. Please, Dream.” He lays his forehead on mine.

“Why are you begging now? Shouldn’t you have come when you first heard I was pregnant?” I challenge him.

“I didn’t think you wanted me. You didn’t even put up a fight with the divorce. I thought you wanted it, too.”

I step back from his grasp. “Maybe you should have talked to me. How long have you known I was pregnant?”

“About five months ago.”

“And you didn’t come?”

He slowly shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“I already gave you a second chance. I told you there would be no more.”

Gable closes his mouth tight and nods. I cross my arms, protecting myself from him.

“Will keep him from me?” Gable sniffs.

“No.” I answer without hesitation. “I would never do that. I tried to figure out a way to tell you.”

“What’s his name?” He wipes his cheeks.

“Gable James Butler the second. You’re on the birth certificate, too.”

“Thank you,” he whispers. “I know you didn’t have to do that.”

I push my hands through my hair. “No, I didn’t have to, but I want to make sure that Gabe knows his father. I’m mad at you for what you did to me, but I know you’ll be a good father.”

Gable hangs his head. I’m almost sure he’s thinking about his dad. He was close to him and he was part of the reason why Gable had his breakdown.

“I should probably go.” Gable looks me up and down. On cue, Gabe begins to cry. “Is he okay?” Gable panics.

“Yes.” I turn and open the door to attend to Gabe. “Hey, Mr. Fuzzy what’s the deal?” I ask as I pick him up and lay him on my shoulder. I pat his back and he let’s out a huge burp. “Feel better?”

Gable laughs. “You’re good with him.”

“He’s like you in so many ways. It’s hard to believe since he’s only two weeks old, but he is very bossy and wants to do everything on his time.”

Gable takes a deep breath and looks around the room. “May I hold him again, before I leave? I’m not sure when I’ll see him again.”

“Why do you say that?” I hand Gabe to Gable. “You’re his dad. You more than welcome to come here and see him.”

Gable sits in the rocking chair and begins to rock with Gabe. ‘Thank you, Dream.” I nod and head out of the room. I leave them alone to have a father-son bonding time.

In the kitchen, I grab a bottle of water. I want a glass of wine so damn bad, but I’m breastfeeding and can’t drink right now. What is Gable’s game? Does he really want me back? Can I really trust him this time?

“Oh, son, what am I going to do?”

I gasp as I see the baby monitor sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Your mother isn’t going to believe me no matter what I do. Did you know I fell in love with her the moment I saw her? Oh, there’s no one in the world more beautiful than her. She turned my world upside down and for the good, too. But, I messed it up.”

I pick up the monitor and look at it. Should I turn it off? Does he know it’s on and is playing me?

“I lied because I thought I was helping her. I lied because I was trying to save her. I lied because I didn’t want her to break my heart, but you know what? She didn’t break it. I did. I did it because I was a selfish fool. Gideon told me she would break me and she did.

“Since the moment I left her, I’ve been walking in a haze. All I do is work and eat. I’ve barely slept. When I found out she was pregnant, I almost busted down the door to get to her. I wanted to show her how much I loved her. Hell, I still love her. I wake up thinking of her and go to bed alone, still thinking about her. Now, we have you.

“I’m a dad. All I ever wanted was to be a good dad like my dad. I thought with Dream by my side, I could be, but she doesn’t want me. Losing her is like losing my...soul. I’m sure you don’t want to hear this, but when we kissed for the first time, my heart stopped. When it restarted, it only beat for her. Your mom.”

I wipe the tears from my eyes.

“I want to let her in now. I don’t want to hide from her any more. It took me this long to gather the courage to come here. Me,” he scoffs. “I can negotiate millions of dollars worth of contracts but one look from Dream, and I don’t even know my name.

“That’s how you know you found the
one
. When you can’t think straight, can’t breathe, and can only think of them, that’s how you know.”

I grab a paper towel and wipe my face. Damn, he’s right. Since he left, and even before that, he had been all I thought about and wanted.

I still do.

I didn’t move far away in hopes he would come back to me. I know this, but never wanted to admit it to myself. Gabe’s room and the majority of my home is white. Why? Not because it’s easier to clean, it’s because I wanted it ready for him when he came.

I kept pushing my feelings further and further away because if I didn’t think about them, then it wouldn’t be real.

Who am I kidding? I want Gable. I love him. I want to be a family with him and Gabe.

I ran up the stairs and into Gabe’s room. Gable looks at me strangely as I take Gabe from his arms and place him in the crib. I knew he had fallen back to sleep already. I grab Gable’s hand and pull him across the hall, to my all white bedroom.

“You’re a jerk, an asshole, and so damn stubborn I want to hit you sometimes.”

“You have hit me.”

“You know what I mean. I heard you.” Gable looks away. “The baby monitor was on. Did you mean what you said or are you playing me again?”

“I meant it. I’m not playing you.” He takes my hand. “I love you. No one has ever meant anything to me but you.”

My heart is racing. I’m scared it’ll pound out of my chest. Can I lay my heart on the line one more time? He’s burned me before and more than once.

“I love you, Dream.” He cautiously steps forward and cups my face. “I love you, Dream.” He repeats again.

“Damn you, Gable.” I whisper.

“Do you know how many times I’ve watched
Gone with the Wind
since you left me?”

He waits for me to answer, but I can’t because I’m crying again.

“Almost every day. I think about you and the first night we watched it together. Do you remember?”

I nod.

“I’ll get on my hands and knees for another chance, Dream. We’ll be a team this time. I swear to you. I will not screw this up.”

There is so much pain in his voice, I know there’s no way he’s lying to me.

“Gable.” I choke out. “If you break my heart again—”

“I swear, Dream, I won’t.”

“I’d never take Gabe from you, but you can’t hurt me, lie to me, or ever treat me the way you did before. Do you understand?” Gable grabs me and picks me up, squeezing me tightly. “Gable, my stomach.” I moan in pain.