Authors: Kate Spofford
Not even money for pizza, I thought.
The hours alone were glorious. No Matthew in
the other room. No Mom on my back. In retrospect, I should have
enjoyed those hours more.
At quarter past nine, hours before I
expected them to come home, the door to the house slammed open. I
jumped and my laptop crashed to the floor. “Shit,” I muttered,
picking it up.
“
What’s so bad about me saying I have to
think about it?” Mom yelled. Her purse made the jingly sound of
coins and keys as she threw it onto the table.
“
What’s so bad? What, you don’t think I’m
good enough for you?” Matthew roared. “I saw the parade of losers
you dated before I came along. You’re lucky I found you.”
“
Lucky? I’m lucky? And who says you found
me? Maybe I found you!” Mom’s words came out before she could fully
comprehend what Matthew had just said.
I peered out of my bedroom. My heart was
hammering in my chest, and all I wanted to do was hide, but I
wanted to protect my mother.
“
You were watching me,” Mom said slowly.
“You were watching me?” Mom was watching Matthew warily now. “Not
me...”
She took a step back.
“
Us. You were watching us.”
Matthew’s mouth curved into a nasty sneer.
“That’s right. I picked you. And you should be grateful.”
“
Grateful? What for?” I demanded, stepping
forward. Sometimes I just never know when my mouth is going to
open. “For having a man-sized lump sitting on our couch for the
past four months?”
“
Go to your room, Kayla,” Mom said in a
quiet voice that was a bit too trembly for me to obey.
“
Kayla,” Matthew drawled.
“
You don’t touch her,” Mom
snarled.
I took a step back. Now Mom’s voice had
authority.
“
Remember our little talk, Kayla?” Matthew
asked. “Remember what I said?”
“
You said you were the good guy,” I said
doubtfully.
“
That’s right.” He turned to my mom again.
“I’m the good guy, Julie. I’m trying to do things the nice
way.”
“
Do what the nice way?” I asked. I still
hadn’t figured out exactly what Matthew’s great surprise for my mom
was.
“
He asked me to marry him,” Mom said
flatly.
“
You’re too good to marry me, huh? Maybe
you’d rather marry some drunk asshole like your dead
husband?”
Mom flinched, and so did I. Dad may have
liked his liquor, but he wasn’t an asshole. Even after two years it
still hurt to think about him.
“
Or would you rather wait for someone
better to come along? Someone with a little more power than me?
Maybe you want to wait around for Geo himself to come calling, show
up on your doorstep with a fucking bouquet of red roses? Let me
tell you something, honey. They sent me because I’m the only one
who can be remotely charming. I’m the only one who would have
treated you right.”
Mom’s mouth had dropped open. “Geo?” she
whispered. “You work for Geo?”
“
Work for... Live for... same difference,”
Matthew snarled. “Come on. Please tell me you knew. Tell me you had
some fucking clue.”
At that point Mom turned to look at me. When
she had first brought Matthew home, I had complained about his
smell. “It isn’t bad, exactly,” I had said. “It’s just not
right.”
“
He smells fine,” Mom had
responded.
“
Not that any of your other boyfriends
smelled any better.”
“
Really. Tell me about it,” Mom had
snapped, and while I knew she was being sarcastic and didn’t
actually want a response, I went right on ahead and
answered.
“
Vinnie: Cigarette smoke and whiskey.
Terry: B.O. Sweat. Cologne. Beer. Owen: Grease. Oil. Car fumes. Axe
body spray. Darren: Scotch, onions, and jock sweat. Totally
different from regular armpit sweat. Or even stomach
sweat.”
“
Enough,” Mom had said in that tone that
meant she was pissed. After a moment, however, she asked, “You can
really smell all that?”
“
Yup.”
“
And Matthew?”
“
Mostly he smells... like a guy. But
there’s this other scent... I don’t know what it is, it just smells
wrong to me.”
Now I understood why Matthew smelled wrong.
He wasn’t pack. He was a werewolf but he wasn’t part of our
pack.
“
You really didn’t know.” Matthew gave a
short laugh. “Did you even know I was a werewolf?”
Mom didn’t say anything.
Matthew laughed now. Big and loud. And Mom
reached out and slapped him across the face.
Just like that, Matthew went from laughing
to pissed. His hands shot out and wrapped around Mom’s throat. I
saw her mouth open and try to suck in air, and her hands started
flopping.
For long moments I didn’t know what to do. I
wanted Mom to fight him off. She was strong. She could turn into a
wolf and bite him. Why didn’t she? Her fear infected me; I wasn’t
as good at keeping our thoughts separate back then, and even now
the intensity of it would have broken down all my walls.
I watched as Matthew pushed her up against
the wall, and held her there with one hand pressing against her
throat, while his knee separated her legs and the other hand moved
to slide up her skirt.
I knew the second Mom knew he was going to
rape her. Her fear charged into me and turned into rage.
Matthew turned slightly to look at me, and I
realized it was because I was growling. And I was also now a wolf,
my favorite pajama pants puddled on the floor surrounded by the
scraps of my tank top.
enemy must kill
I lunged at him.
He grabbed my mother and swung her around in
front of him like a human shield. I skidded to a stop on the
hardwood floor. Matthew had his arm around Mom’s neck now, so tight
she could barely breathe.
“
Nice kid you got there, Julie,” Matthew
said, trying to sound derisive but unable to cover the slight
tremble in his voice or the sweat on his upper lip. “A little too
much spirit if you ask me. I can only imagine what Geo will do to
her when he gets his hands on her. I wasn’t allowed to have her,
that was one of the rules. See what you missed out on? See how I’m
the good guy here?”
“
A good guy who needed to be told not to
go after a fifteen-year-old?” Mom wheezed. “Yeah, you’re a real
Prince Charming.”
“
You really missed out on a great
opportunity,” Matthew continued, as if Mom hadn’t spoken. “You
could have joined us willingly. Kayla would have been mated with
the most powerful, ancient werewolf on the North American
continent. And now...” He laughed. “Now you’re all fucked.
Literally.
“
Of course if this didn’t work out,”
Matthew snarled into Mom’s ear, “Geo has a backup plan. More than
one backup plan. You are going to join us. You could have joined us
as my wife, and we could have been the fucking Brady Bunch.
Instead, you’ll join us in chains, and you’ll breed for us until
your fucking uterus falls out, and then we’ll kill you.”
Matthew now turned his full gaze on me.
“Unless the little bitch here is smarter than her mother?”
In response I growled and snapped my teeth
at him.
“
I should have tried for your sister,” he
said to my mom. “You know, a rebound thing. She hasn’t been
sleeping with the entire town of Wolf Point.”
“
Get out of my house,” Mom growled in a
voice not totally human.
Matthew laughed. “Just try to turn wolf now,
Julie. Your throat will be crushed.”
Then he reached up and squeezed my mother’s
breast as he glared at me. “No more Mr. Nice Guy,” he whispered.
“I’ll have you, and then I’ll have your daughter while you watch.”
He squeezed harder until a whimper escaped Mom’s throat.
I sprang at his feet and bit his leg. With
Mom’s weight he was off-balance and both of them fell. My teeth
were in him, and I shook my head, wanting to rip the flesh from his
very bones.
“
Gah!” He was on top of my mother, and he
reached over her to grab the leg of a chair. Then he swung it at
me. I darted out of the way to avoid getting hit in the face.
Instead, the chair leg caught me in the ribs and stole my breath
and sent me sprawling across the kitchen floor.
“
Fucking bitch,” Matthew spat. He turned
back to Mom, and for a moment–as I scrabbled to my feet–he looked
at her like he was going to kiss her. Then he brought his fist down
into her face. The back of her skull hit the floor with a wet
crack.
Matthew got up, and he wasn’t even looking
at me. Like I wasn’t a threat.
That made me even angrier.
He didn’t know me. He didn’t know my family.
He didn’t know Dad liked to keep guns around the house, or maybe he
did, but I don’t think he counted on how fast I could turn human
and open the drawer where we kept our dish towels and dig out a
Colt .44 double-action revolver. Matthew had never helped Mom with
the dishes.
“
Get out of this house,” I said, pointing
the gun at him.
His head snapped up, and he glared at me.
“You won’t use that, princess.”
“
I can and I will,” I said.
He laughed. “Please. Little girl like you
can’t handle a gun.”
“
I might be a little rusty,” I said, “but
I assure you I know how to shoot. My daddy taught me.”
“
Your daddy was a werewolf.” Matthew took
a step toward me. “What use did he have for guns?”
“
Don’t take another step.”
“
You really think you can pull that
trigger?”
And he took a step.
I squeezed the trigger and the shot went a
little wider than I’d meant it to, which means it caught him in the
shoulder and spun him around. He staggered and tripped over Mom’s
feet.
“
Fuckin’ bitch!” he roared.
I crossed the kitchen and stood over him,
buck naked and pointing the gun at his face. “Like I said, I’m a
little rusty, but I think I could blow your brains out from
here.”
His eyes moved down my body. He licked his
lips.
“
Come on, now, honey. Don’t you want the
most powerful werewolf in the country between those legs? He wants
you, you know. He wants a nice young girl to carry his heir. Isn’t
that what you want? Rich husband, have lots of babies, be a mom...
Come on. You put that gun down, I’ll call Geo right now and tell
him. All this will be forgotten.” He smiled at me. There was blood
spattered across his face.
“
Somehow, I really doubt that.” I shook
the gun at him. “Now get the fuck out of my house.”
He snarled, but slid himself away with his
elbow, then staggered to his feet. “Just wait till Geo hears about
this,” he said. “You’ll regret it.”
“
If you don’t move toward the door any
faster, you’ll regret it,” I snapped.
Yanking the door open, he glared at me one
last time. “The next time you see my face, I’m going to be raping
you,” he said.
I fired the gun again. It hit the door frame
and bits of wood exploded through the empty air.
Matthew was gone.
For almost half an hour I sat beside my
mother, the door locked and barricaded with furniture behind me,
the gun slippery in my sweaty hands, begging Mom to wake up, crying
and shaking and wanting to grab the phone and call Aunt Jenny and
make sure she was okay, but I couldn’t move. My legs wouldn’t hold
me.
Aunt Jenny came over on her own, and I
nearly shot her.
Geo had so easily infiltrated us. Someone
who wanted only to force our hands had smiled and we had believed
it. We were not strong.
“
We need Daniel,” Mom said, and I began to
believe we did. Geo hadn’t even considered attacking us with three
males in our pack. After my first change, I had been told fairy
tales about how our blood made us stronger than other wolves. That
was how we could survive with so few in our pack. We needed a male
protector.
I had seen Matthew force my mother so
easily. My mother hadn’t even fought. I hated him for the fear he
created in me, and in my mother. She had always seemed so strong,
especially where Aunt Jenny had seemed so weak.
We stayed in a hotel that night.
The night after that, Mom and Aunt Jenny
sent me off after Daniel.
All alone, in the dark, I imagined I heard
Matthew coming after me. I heard his parting words to me again and
again, and saw him in my nightmares.
“
The next time you see my face, I’m going
to be raping you,” he had said.
And here was his face.
A blur of tan flashes by me, and I am snapped
out of my memories.
Mom.
She runs at Matthew and blindsides him. Head
on, teeth bared, she barrels into his side, knocking him off
balance. He tries to swipe his half-transformed hand at her, but as
a half-man, half-wolf, he’s clumsy and she easily avoids his reach.
Instead, she darts in and out, a chunk from his calf muscle here, a
bite out of his arm there. He’s struggling to change, but I can
only imagine how difficult it would be when being attacked.
I want to help Mom, but my feet remain rooted
in the ground.
he will hurt me he will hurt her
How had I managed to stand up to Matthew
before? How had I managed to move?
I feel outside of myself. I need to help
her.
the next time you see my face I’ll be raping
you
All this time I thought I would be so angry
when I finally found him. All this time I thought I would get
revenge. I would get him back for what he did to my mother. I would
torture him and make him feel pain and then I would kill him.