Eighteen Kisses (13 page)

‘What about Calum,’ I said. ‘Was there anything going on with him?’

‘I can’t believe he’s still claiming she slept with him,’ said Sasha. ‘You couldn’t get any further from her type than Calum, he’s such a sleaze. He’s been with over eighty per cent of the girls in our year. She would
not
have gone for him.’

I was surprised Sasha was so convinced. I’d felt that Calum was telling the truth.

‘Was Kev still upset about the break-up?’ I asked.

‘Yeah, definitely. Did you hear that there were twenty-five calls to her in his call history? Basically, every night there would be twenty-five missed calls. I know he was upset and everything, but he had stepped over into stalker territory. I know everybody says,
Oh, he’s so nice
, but I used to go out with him and I’ve seen how angry he can get. You wouldn’t think it, but if he gets pissed off he gets, like, seriously scary. I was having a fight with him once and he hit the windscreen of my car so hard with his fist, I had to pull over and tell him to get the hell out. I broke up with him the next day and I’ve hardly talked to him since. Everybody thinks I was being dramatic, but I was actually scared, like, properly terrified of him at that moment. I’m not saying he would do anything, but I’m just saying I wouldn’t be surprised if she was scared too.’

I hadn’t met Kev yet, but twenty-five missed calls did seem excessive.

‘When did you first hear she was missing?’ I asked.

‘The next morning,’ said Sasha. ‘I was really hungover – I think we all were – but everybody was out, determined to find her. It was about the ninth and tenth day when people started dropping off – those are the days that nobody likes to talk about. They had to get back to their own lives, but some of us were still looking. By the next weekend even we couldn’t keep doing it – work wouldn’t let me take any more time off. Amy and Andrew went home because I don’t think they could hack it any more. Everyone was tired and frustrated and they started to turn on them. And it was sixth year, it was February and we had to study for our mocks. We couldn’t keep looking for her.’

‘Do you remember anything odd at the party?’ I asked.

‘I remember Barry being in a really bad mood,’ said Sasha. ‘I don’t know what was wrong with him. Maybe he was stressed because he was responsible for keeping the party under control. And Libby was a bit off, but I think that’s just because she was worried about the house; you can never really relax when it’s in your gaff. Also, people were kind of annoyed that there was only one toilet, which someone had got sick in. There was a sign at the bottom of the stairs saying upstairs was strictly out of bounds, and Barry wouldn’t let anyone go up there, even though the downstairs bathroom was, like, disgusting.’

‘Do you remember anything else?’

‘Honestly … no,’ she said. ‘It wasn’t till the next morning when I got a call from Hazel that I realized something was wrong. The poor girl, she sounded so upset …’

‘Oh, crap,’ said Sasha, looking at the clock. ‘I have to head back to work. They’re really strict in my place. But I
live just up on Dame Street, with Ellie, actually; you’re working on her magazine, right?’

‘Yeah,’ I said.

‘Well, if you need to talk to me again I’m around town most of the time.’

‘Thanks, Sasha,’ I said.

The next name on my list was Kev. I was due to meet him later today in the shop where he worked. And now, after everything Sasha had told me, I really hoped there would be other people there too.

The charity bookshop was definitely the coolest I’d ever seen. The shelves were hot pink and baby blue, and there was a table with boxes of records inside the door, all priced at one euro. There was a girl arranging a display of detective novels in the centre of the shop, trying to get a battered copy of
The Big Sleep
to stand upright. She smiled at me, then turned her attention to the display. There was a guy sitting on a high stool behind the till, with brown hair and glasses. He looked exactly like he did in the video.

A young woman arrived at the counter with a stack of paperbacks, so I browsed the shelves for a few minutes, stopping at the memoirs. They were mainly ones of politicians and reality TV stars, but I spotted a PJ Harvey squashed in between two Hitler biographies. I made a mental note to buy it on the way out.

‘Hey,’ he said, and that’s when I realized he was standing right behind me.

‘Hey,’ I said, turning to face him. ‘I’m Jacki.’

‘Oh yeah … sorry, I’m Kevin. Although you probably already knew that.’

I nodded. ‘Can I talk to you for a few minutes?’

He opened the door that led to the back room. It was filled with books – all sorted into different piles. We sat down at the table and Kev pushed some stuff aside – price stickers and a pair of scissors.

‘Would you like tea?’ he said, pointing to the giant box of fair trade teabags over on the table.

‘Oh, no thanks,’ I said.

‘You sure?’

‘Yeah, I better get started.’

Kev was definitely the most on edge of all the people I’d talked to so far – he even rivalled Calum. He crossed his arms, uncrossed them, then crossed them again. I thought it best to just dive straight in, no point in tiptoeing about.

‘I heard there were twenty-five missed calls on Kayla’s phone from you the next morning,’ I told him. ‘Were you worried about her?’

‘I just wanted to apologize,’ he said. ‘I wanted to make things right. I should never have gone to her birthday party. But I just thought if I brought her that really nice present and told her how sorry I was then she’d forgive me and everything would be OK. I mean, you’ll do anything to make the hurt stop. I sat on my bed and just kept dialling her number until she picked up. I knew she would eventually because you can make somebody so angry that they will pick up just to shout at you. And I know it makes no sense, but even that little bit of contact eased the pain, just for a second. Even though she was screaming at me to leave her alone, when I hung up I was happier because I loved her so much that at that point I’d rather fight with her than talk
to any other girl. I loved everything about her. But the night of the party though … she didn’t pick up.

‘Nobody told me she was seeing that other guy. You think your friends would tell you something like that, but nobody bothered to say it to me!’

Kev sounded pretty desperate – desperate enough to hurt Kayla? I wasn’t sure, but then again love does cloud your judgement – maybe he’d been too emotional to think straight.

‘So nobody told you about Luke?’ I said.

‘No. I walked in on them in her bedroom and I freaked out. I called her a slut and all this other horrible stuff, which I should never have done; we’d broken up – she was perfectly entitled to be with whoever she wanted. But, seeing the two of them on her bed, I just flipped. The next morning I woke up and remembered all the stuff I’d said, and I just needed to make it right. I was so afraid that I’d ruined any chance of us ever being friends again, and I couldn’t bear that, so I needed to fix it. But she wouldn’t answer her phone. I figured she was just mad, and if I called enough times then she’d eventually give in and pick up. But she didn’t.’

‘Did you crash the party?’ I’d thought nobody had been able to get past Barry.

‘No, I’d been invited … but when we broke up nobody expected me to actually come. But it’s not like she asked me to stay away or anything; I know I probably should have stayed at home, but I really thought she still loved me and that she was just angry. I wasn’t prepared for the indifference. She didn’t love me any more. I had a feeling Luke liked her. I saw them talking online all the time, but I didn’t think she liked him in that way.’

‘So you were stalking her?’

‘Oh, come on, don’t tell me you’ve never done it?’

I didn’t answer. I scanned the room, with its stacks of spineless books ready to be discarded. Kev crossed and uncrossed his arms again. Sitting with him was making me anxious.

‘I’d seen the way he looked at her,’ he said, narrowing his eyes. ‘The same way I did. I knew there was something going on, but I thought she was doing it to make me jealous, or to numb the pain. I didn’t think she was actually in love with him. He didn’t appreciate her. He wasn’t right for her. His friends are all crazy and into drugs and she’s just not like that. I don’t think he’s good enough for her.’

I was starting to feel really uncomfortable. Kev sounded so angry. But I had some more questions for him, so I had to stay.

‘What happened then?’ I said. ‘After you walked in on them.’

‘She told me to follow her and then led me into one of the other rooms and talked to me for a few minutes. I don’t remember what she said. All I remember is the indifference. In her voice, in her eyes. She didn’t love me any more. She was infatuated with him. I’d got it wrong. I’d convinced myself it was just because she was mad and she wanted to make me suffer. But as she talked I realized that it wasn’t because of that and she didn’t just want to hurt me. She really liked him and she’d probably really liked him for a while – and that hurt more than anything else.’

‘Did that make you angry?’ I asked. I couldn’t imagine him taking something like that very well.

‘No … I was upset. I didn’t even apologize for saying all those things. I was so upset that I just turned round and walked away, down the stairs and out the door and just kept walking.’

‘Where did you go?’ I asked. I’d read in his statement that he’d started walking, but wasn’t sure where he’d gone. I found that kind of unbelievable.

‘I don’t really want to say,’ he said, looking down at the table, gripping the handle of his cup, but not moving it.

‘Why?’ I asked.

‘It’s embarrassing,’ he said, clenching his hand tighter.

‘More embarrassing than ending up in jail?’

‘OK, fine,’ he said, looking at me. ‘Don’t tell anyone this … but I sat on the ground behind the sports hall and cried. A few of my mates were down at the school drinking, and I was going there to meet them, but on the way I just sort of collapsed. I didn’t take any notice of what was going on around me because my face was buried in my hands. Then I got up and met my friends and acted like everything was fine. Because that’s what you have to do – you just act like everything is OK.’

George’s Street Arcade was pretty busy. Loads of people were browsing the stalls. I walked down the aisle filled with
Hello Kitty
merchandise, where you could get anything you wanted with
Hello Kitty
on it – from trainers to wallets to phones. After that was a stall with multicoloured tights and bowler hats and fairy wings. Next there were tables with manga and anime merchandise, comics and superhero action figures; you could also buy records or rare books or vintage dresses or powdery pink Turkish delight. The arcade was a wonderful mix of knick-knacks and clothes and sweets.

I could see the fortune-teller sign up ahead, a painting of an old woman holding a crystal ball, with silver and gold swirls coming out of it. I arrived at the stall, pulled back the purple velvet curtain and stepped inside. Lauren was sitting there, with a book open in front of her.

‘Oh, hey,’ she said. ‘Jacki, right?’

She was wearing a green silk shawl, which gave her a mystical look. Her brown hair was tied up in a bun. She was also wearing big gold hoop earrings and lots of bracelets.

‘Hi,’ I said. ‘Thanks for seeing me today. I know you’re really busy.’

‘Yeah, sure, have a seat,’ she said. ‘I know, it’s crazy busy these days, lots of people wanting to know their futures. I’ll have my student loan paid off in no time if things keep going the way they are.’

‘What are you studying?’ I asked.

‘Commercial Law,’ she said. ‘I’m in my final year. This is really handy because I get to pick my own hours and the money is pretty good.’

‘How much do you charge, if you don’t mind me asking?’

‘Sixty euro a session,’ she said. ‘That’s for about half an hour.’

‘Wow.’

‘You should start doing it yourself,’ she said. ‘If you’ve got any sort of psychic ability, then you should give it a try.’

I laughed. I didn’t think it was my sort of thing.

‘So, you want to ask me about the party?’ she said.

‘Yeah,’ I replied. ‘Do you remember much about it?’

‘I got there kind of late because I was waiting on my dad to get home so he could give me a lift. I’d got Kayla this really cool fake fish-tank thing to hang on her wall, but it was super-heavy so I couldn’t bring it on the bus. I got there and the party was packed already. I knew most of the people there, but not everyone. I was in Kayla’s year, but not in her class. I knew her really well from camera club though, and also through Hazel because I used to work at Rage at weekends. I went home pretty early too because my parents are super-strict about studying, and we had the mocks coming up. I was out of there by twelve thirty. So I’m not much help, I’m afraid.’

‘Do you remember noticing anything … now, looking back on it?’

‘No, I can’t really remember much at all; it’s all kind of a blur. You know when you’re not consciously observing stuff things just slip past you? I couldn’t even tell you what most of the people were wearing. I’m not even sure what I was wearing. It’s weird.’

‘Did you know Kayla was seeing Luke?’

‘No, she kept that one quiet! She probably wouldn’t have told me anyway. We weren’t that close, but I’m surprised Amy didn’t know. Although I think Kayla kept it quiet because she didn’t want Kev to find out. I think she still really cared for him, even though she didn’t want to be with him any more. Although that’s just my opinion. I’m not really sure.’

‘Thanks,’ I said.

‘Sorry I couldn’t really be more help.’

‘No, it’s fine. Anything at all that you can tell me is great.’

‘So tell me, Jacki,’ she said. ‘Do you think Kayla’s dead?’

‘You must know already,’ I said. ‘If you’re a fortune-teller? You must know if she’s coming back or not.’

‘I tell people I don’t know,’ she said. ‘But you’re right, yeah, I have a feeling. I just hope I’m wrong.’