Electrified (16 page)

With Carson. And I’m going to make some.

Sunday morning

S
IENNA SLEPT
in until ten thirty on the next morning, which was something she hadn’t done in a while. She had been exhausted once she got home the night before from her churning emotions. Her heart and mind were at odds with each other, and she’d tossed and turned trying to fall asleep, even after the relaxation of her bath.

She told herself she had to be rational and go back to her plan. A plan where she definitely didn’t open herself fully to anyone of the opposite sex, other than Asher, of course.

Yet her heart pounded with an urgency to get to know Carson like it never had before. She could feel the muscle throbbing in her chest, blood flowing in and out, desire building within the walls and seeping out into her bones. The night before she easily gave in to the organ, which pumped life into her blood, allowing herself to dream of frivolous, steamy sex with Carson, but that wasn’t on the docket for survival.

But her body wasn’t listening to her more pragmatic side.

Sienna had never had true intimacy. Certainly not in her marriage. She had been taught that sex was mainly for procreation. In her one relationship, there was never any emphasis on feeling good, orgasms, or pleasuring each other, yet she knew her husband forcing himself on her wasn’t the way it was supposed to be either. This was a large part of the reason why she loved her new world. The club was about feeling good, going deep with sexual desires, and fulfilling dreams without ever being shamed.

Many critics thought the adult entertainment world was rife with violence and altogether dirty and shameful in its pursuits. Sienna knew this to be largely untrue, other than the few lousy sons of bitches in the business.

She had lived in a world of violence and dirty gestures shrouded as holy. The life surrounding the club might not have been holy or wholesome, but it was liberating and satisfying, which was why there were so many couples who came to the club. There was a purpose in pleasure for them.

For the most part, the bachelor parties got wild and a little crazy, but never out of hand. They were really not the way the movies portrayed them. Mostly the “batching” guys were out to have a good time, bank away fantasies for later, drink too much, and have a great night out with their friends.

After being immersed in this world for more than half a decade, it was only natural that a piece of her yearned for some kind of intimacy. The pleasuring kind. The only thing was, she couldn’t have it. Her brain, her logical side, told her that opening herself up to any kind of relationship in order to have intimacy was risky.

Her body was on a separate mission to feel something, to touch and be touched. It was a deadly mission, yet she couldn’t stop herself.

T
O KEEP
her mind busy and avoid cleaning her place for the second time in two days, Sienna texted Sydney and Petal and invited them over for coffee. A morning with the girls was a good way to steer her mind away from her lunch date with Carson.

Do I tell them about the date?

Throwing back on her cardigan from her adventure at Asher’s the day before, Sienna shoved her feet in soft slippers and padded out to the kitchen. She knew the girls would come in similar outfits. They relished their time to be casual and comfy after working late hours with all the makeup and uncomfortable outfits.

While waiting, Sienna baked a small banana loaf for the three of them. As she was pulling the loaf from the oven, her phone pinged with a text. Her first thought was that maybe one of her friends changed her mind, which made her nervous at the prospect of having to occupy herself for a few hours. To be left alone with her warring thoughts seemed torturous.

Then panic ran through her…maybe Carson was canceling? While that would be the best thing for both of them, the thought plagued her every fiber and assaulted her soul.

She grabbed the phone and peeked. It was neither.

Mike
: What’s the plan? You know what I mean.

Sienna
: Late lunch. 2 p.m. Bella’s near Canyon Coffee. Didn’t tell Ash.

Mike
: OK. I feel you but you’ll have to tell him soon.

Sienna
: No. This is going to be it after this lunch.

Mike
: I’ll be outside your place at 1:30.

He didn’t respond to her mention of this being the last time.
Does he think this is going to be an ongoing thing?

Sienna didn’t bother to argue with the arrangement. Mike was going to tail her again, and Carson knew she had someone watching. Maybe it would be a big turnoff. With that thought, her doorbell rang and in walked her friends.
Thank you, God.

Sydney, sporting doggie print pajamas and her auburn hair knotted in a bun on top of her head as though she just rolled out of bed, went straight for the coffeepot. Petal plopped down in the big blue and white damask floral armchair, her jet black hair fanning out around her, the color rich and seductive, a complete contrast to the softness of the chair Sienna chose for her living space. All three of them were chatting at once, the smell of banana and coffee permeating the room, a feeling of easiness in the air. It was times like this that made Sienna feel she’d survive in this life…forever.

A few friends were all she needed. She had a warm and cozy house with nice furniture, and at the moment it was filled with smiles and laughter. She never had that once in her old life.

As she grabbed a coffee with Sydney and brought the banana bread over to the coffee table, the girls were giggling about the bachelor party the night before. The group of young gentlemen had taken a private room for three hours, and couldn’t stop throwing cash the girls’ way. Asher had plenty of security on the private rooms, so fortunately nothing went wrong like it did with Natalie a few weeks back.

There was nothing more than heavy touching, but the money was worth it to Sydney and Petal. Both of them grew up with the bare minimum, and now they supported themselves, plus were able to save for the future, thanks to Sienna. Nobody could take that away from them.

Sienna listened and laughed as they told stories of the guys with tented pants watching them dance and move as if it was their last breath before tying the knot. The tented pants were a little inside joke between the three of them. Privately discussing which ones were bigger than others was a bad weekly habit. Apparently, last night’s bachelor partiers were fairly well-endowed, and Sydney was fascinated. She was newer than Sienna and Petal, so it figured. Petal threw her whole body backward into her chair in a fit of laughter as Sydney demonstrated with her hands how high one guy’s pants were raised.

Sienna was only half listening when Petal abruptly asked, “Sienna, where’d you go, honey? You were off in space while I almost choked to death from my own laughter.”

Busted, Sienna thought. She was really thinking about Carson and couldn’t imagine he was small in the pants. Oh. My. God.

No way was she going to cop to that, so she said, “I have a lunch date today. I really don’t even know what to make of it.”

“What?” the girls cried out in unison.

Sienna looked at the two of them. Petal had her knees curled up in the huge armchair with a pillow squished over the side and her head resting on the top of it. Sydney was lying on the floor with her head propped up on her hands, her coffee cup in front of her. If this wasn’t safe enough, Sienna didn’t know what was, so she went out on a limb.

“Yeah, a date. There’s been this guy coming to the club on the weekends, and he sent his number back to me. Since Billy was too new to know better, he brought it back to me. I guess I kinda liked him from afar and was curious these last few weeks, so I texted him. Oh my God, that’s so embarrassing when I say it out loud. I texted him. I must look so needy.” She buried her face deep in her hands, afraid to look up, but when she did she saw their softening expressions.

“No way,” Sydney said. “It’s adorable, you liked him enough to text him. This guy is one lucky dude with all the men who are dying to get a text from you!”

Petal chimed in, “Even better, he gets to know you, the real you. Not just the gorgeous Sienna Flower all men dream about, but you, the sweetest person on earth.” She pulled up to her knees in the chair and looked straight at Sienna, driving the point home.

She shook her head and chuckled. “Chill out, ladies. We had one cup of coffee yesterday and planned for this late lunch today. He doesn’t live here, just visits, which is good. I don’t think this is the smartest idea, but I just sort of like him, so I want to have this date.”

“You’re crazy. If you like him, go after him.” Sydney grinned at her, then popped another piece of banana bread into her mouth.

Petal got up to refill her coffee, and patted Sienna’s shoulder as she passed her. “You deserve a life. I know you had it rough and don’t like to talk about it, Sie, but you’re kind and loving. You deserve everything good and sweet, baby.”

“Ugh, you two are killing me. It’s only lunch. That’s it. No more. Just to get the guy out of my head.” Noticing the dreamy look in both Sydney and Petal’s eyes, she knew they were no longer listening to her. She was saying this more for her own benefit.

Before she could say anything more, the girls had Sienna in the shower with a cleansing mask on her face, and were rummaging through her closet to pick out an outfit for lunch.

“I was just going to wear jeans and a ball cap. You know I don’t like going out all exposed,” Sienna protested.

“No way, girlie.”

“Agreed. No way,” Sydney said with a nod to Petal.

T
HE HOURS
passed quickly with the mini-makeover. By one thirty, Sienna was buffed, polished, lightly made up with makeup, and had soft waves cascading through her hair. She was wearing skinny jeans, an untucked white blouse with the sleeves rolled up, and knee-high brown boots. Wearing no jewelry except hoop earrings, Sienna pulled her dark purple suede blazer over her blouse and walked out with Petal and Sydney still in their pajamas.

When Sierra walked outside, Mike was already waiting. He lifted a hand in greeting, then smirked as he looked over from his car. She was certain he was glad he missed the estrogen-filled coffee klatch. Sienna kissed both her friends, then hopped into her car and pulled out with Mike following close behind.

Her heart was racing on the drive over to Bella’s. Coffee was one thing; lunch was another. Yesterday Sienna wore her uniform for going out in public—nondescript clothes, hat, and glasses. Today she was dressed up in what Sydney and Petal pulled together for her, with her hair down and her face made up like she was an ordinary woman.

She felt exposed.

Sienna didn’t do “ordinary woman.” She was either made up like the adult dancer she was, or she went incognito in the ball cap. This was a whole new look. She didn’t dress like this in her old life either, and at the moment, she had absolutely no idea how to act in her current getup.

Not to mention that she was going on a lunch date, which aside from the coffee she had with Carson yesterday, was also a first. The newness of everything had every nerve in her body tingling.

Sienna parked and got out of her car, then gave a quick nod to Mike before walking over to the restaurant. She usually got takeout from Bella’s for Asher and herself during the week. Dining in was definitely new to Sienna. No wonder she felt like her heart was going to jump right through her chest…how many firsts could a woman take in one day?

Carson was waiting for her in the little lobby. Sienna had to lower her gaze upon seeing him; he looked that good. Today he was wearing dark jeans, not tight or baggy, but just right for him, a cream-colored henley with the sleeves pushed up, and the same brown motorcycle boots peeked out from his jeans. His whole tattoo was exposed since his sleeves were rolled up so far. It was a series of ancient symbols along his forearm, such a contradiction to the serious PI she knew him to be.

In a move that took her breath away, he reached out and softly lifted her chin so they were eye to eye. “Hi.” The look he gave her was so warm, yet sizzling with promise, she couldn’t even answer back. When she didn’t respond, he said, “I already told them we were going to need a table for two. I was just waiting for you to come in so we could be seated together. Do you want to sit near the window or toward the back of the restaurant?”

Finally pulling herself together, Sienna breathed out, “The window actually sounds nice.”

“I see you have eyes on you again today. I just thought he’d prefer for you to be near the window. Wasn’t sure what you would want.”

“Well, yes,” she said, both pleased by Carson’s thoughtfulness, and at the same time taken aback by it. “I think it’s better for me to be in his sight line, but I’ve never dined in here and the window space looks nice, so that works. By the way, that’s Mike. He’s the head bouncer at the club. He’s also a friend and a bit overprotective of me.”

“Okay, no worries. A window table it is.”