Eloisa James - Duchess by Night (31 page)

But when they came together it was with such joy, such intel ectual curiosity, suchphysical pleasure. Surely he would not just watch her go.

The idea of waving goodbye was as bitter as the faraway stars.

He would tel her that it didnt matter who she was. He would fol ow her. Eugenia and he would fol ow. He would say goodbye to his guests, and come to her estate.

Surely he would.

February 21, 1784

T he next day the snow was gone, and the day was clear and cold.

Riding? Jem asked, glancing at her when she entered the breakfast room.

She gave him a slight nod, and then turned to greet Kitty. Kitty dragged her over to the side of the room. I heard al about it! she said in a thril ed whisper. I know you must be feeling terrible, but dont. I told everyone that you werent a mol y.

Oh. Good, Harriet said.

You know what a mol y is, dont you? Kitty asked.

Yes, of course.

Its what that foolish Pensickle thought you were. As if hes one to talk! We al know about him. Anyway, I told them she leaned over and whispered in Harriets ear.

Real y? Harriet exclaimed. You

Not only that but that you made myself and Roslyn happy. Roslyn thinks you are perfectly adorable, and shes so sad about what happened to you. Shes tel ing everyone about last night. Roslyn is the muse of lyric poetry, you know, and she can real y tel a lively story. Kitty giggled.

On the same night?

Together! You had been only mine, but last night you were so mortified by those horrid untruths that you surpassed yourself!

Goodness, Harriet said, rather faintly.

Kitty kissed her cheek. Im your friend, Harry, forever. Dont forget that. She went back to her seat.

Jem rose to leave, but paused for a second. The memory of what happened in the middle of the night flashed between them, and Harriet felt herself turning pink. In the dark they had pleasured each other until they were breathless, begging, taking turns with sweet torment

From what I hear, I should be taking lessons from you in manhood, Jem said, his voice just loud enough so that it could be heard by the room.

There was a stifled burst of giggles from Kittys direction.

Harriet grinned at him. There are times when youth is an advantage, she said. Perhaps I could give you a few pointers.

Ouch! Jem said, and everyone started laughing.

It would be al right, Harriet thought, sitting down with weak knees. Al the men were grinning at her. No ones eyes danced away; no one looked uneasy. Frankly, they al looked envious. She squared her shoulders and accepted a slab of roast beef, hardly cooked, from the footman.

Breakfast passed in a flash. Kitty giggled every time she looked at Harriet and so did Roslyn, who kept giving Harriet slow winks.

Sanders came in, and sat down at Harriets side. Heard about last night, he said, under cover of the conversation. We al should have known that Pensickle was uttering rot. Everyone knows about the mans capabilities in that direction. Jealous, no doubt.

Harriet murmured something.

Had a brother with a friend of that persuasion, Sanders confided.

Harriet real y wished he wouldnt.

But Sanders was done with that topic and onto another. When I was a youngster, I would have loved to get up to the sort of high jinks you engaged in last night. He eyed Kitty in a toothy sort of way. Married too young, thats what happened to me.

He thumped Harriet on the back so suddenly that she choked on a mouthful of beef. Youre doing it the right way, Cope. Spread your wild oats, and spread em wide, I say.

Thank you, sir, Harriet said.

It was a relief to escape. By the time shed negotiated al the winks and thumps from men, and al the giggles and veiled invitations from women, she was so tired that she felt like going back to bed.

Instead she pul ed on her riding breeches and trailed outdoors to the stable. The day had started clear but was beginning to look gray again, with a hint of snow.

Were actual y working today, Jem said, when she walked in. Nick was waiting for her, holding her horse. Were going out to check the north stables and make sure al s snug and tight. My stable master thinks we may need to buy some grain to make it through the winter.

Harriet swung up on the saddle with a little puff. She was a much better rider now, and she didnt think that the tender ache in her thighs could be put down to riding astride.

At least, not riding a horse.

The thought made her smile and she looked up to find Jems eyes on her. He abruptly wheeled his horse and left the stable. She fol owed, wincing as the bitter air hit her face.

He was waiting and leaned over, took her mouth in a hard kiss. Dont ever smile like that if there is anyone else in the room.

Harriets heart sang. He would never let her go.

Jem she said, but he was gone, and with a little shout she let her mare leap after him. She was a good rider now, able to go around turns at a gal op, although native common sense led her to slow her horse. Jem simply clung to the side of his mount and went faster.

Snow was in the air, the smel of it and the taste of it on the wind.

Harriet was just starting to get tired when a large barn loomed into view to the right. Jem immediately slowed his horse and picked his way across the frozen field. Then he jumped off and led his horse over to a smal door in the side, not the huge door that accommodated the hay wagons.

Come on, Harry, he shouted over his shoulder.

Harriet clambered down rather painful y. That extra bit of gymnastics in the middle of the nightthough it was wondrously funhad taken its tol .

She led her horse into the warmth, out of the wind. Stacks of golden hay towered over their heads, winding toward the wooden loft far above.

This is the largest barn Ive ever seen, Harriet said, awestruck.

Your husbands storage barn isnt so large? Jem asked. There was just a touch of satisfaction in his voice that made her smile. If she didnt like Sal y, Jem didnt seem to like Benjamin either. Though she hadnt told Jem anything much about Benjamin.

Not that it mattered, not with the true, clear emotion that strung between them. Shed tel him when the moment felt right. Jem tied up the horses, then took her hand and they wound their way through a narrow pathway in the straw.

I just have to check the grain, he said.

Where is it?

Back here, in the lofts. We have a terrible mouse problem.

Perhaps rats. You were so lucky with Eugenias bite, Harriet said with a shudder. By yesterday afternoon I could hardly see the punctures at al .

The shepherd brings his ratters to the barn once a week, Jem said. Ironic, isnt it? I take excel ent care of my barn, but I let my own child be bitten.

Harriets fingers tightened, warm, around his. It was an accident.

She seems fine. Did she show you what happened to the castle?

Harriet laughed. Trust Eugenia to turn a disaster into a triumph. A ham-handed footman had dropped a log on one side of her paper castle, crushing it. So Eugenia promptly declared the castle a ruin, and said the rats had won. Last night she was busily cutting out baby rats.

I saw them, Jem said. They looked like little puddings with tails, but I didnt tel her that. Heres the grain. He wrenched open the wooden top and they stared down into a huge bin. Il tel him to buy a bushel or two, Jem decided.

Harriet reached out a hand and let the smooth kernels sort through her fingers. It smel s so good.

Not as good as you do.

He was looking at her again with longing in his eyes.

Do you suppose this wil ever go away? she asked, hearing hunger in her own voice.

I doubt it. But why worry? Were having so much pleasure at this moment.

He pul ed off her greatcoat and ran a hand under her shirt, only to be frustrated by her bandaged chest. So his hand started to roam downwards instead.

At first they just stood there, leaning against the rail, kissing until they were both panting a little, until Jems heart was pounding under Harriets hand.

If only they could see us now, he said, amusement in his voice. Im afraid no amount of fibs from Kitty would help.

But Harriet wasnt interested in imagining what they looked like together. She wound her fingers through his and tugged. Lets lie down, she said.

A tussle in the straw like shepherdsI cant.

Why not?

Straw gives me hives. I itch for days, he said, his eyes on hers. But I think we could manage standing up, dont you, Harriet?

His hand was doing a slow caress of her hip. Yes, she whispered. I think so.

Two seconds later he was kneeling in front of her, she was holding onto the railing for dear life, and he washe was He pul ed back his head. You know, Harriet, he said thoughtful y, I sometimes get the feeling that you would like to scream. May I remind you that theres no one for miles around this barn?

Harriet gulpedbut then he pul ed her toward him again and that wicked tongue of his turned her knees to water.

In the end, she didnt real y scream. It was more like

That was a scream, she heard Jem say. I knew you had it in you. But it was her turn, so she slid to her knees before him, and satisfactorily proved that Lord Strange had no control at al when it came to Harriet.

None.

Then he was turning her around, bel y to the railing, his large hands shaping her bottom. God, youre beautiful, Harriet.

She wanted to say that no, she wasnt beautiful. Her hips were too round and her bottom was too round and her breasts were too smal , but there was something in his voice that made the comment die in her throat.

His voice made her beautiful. His hands caressed her and she felt as if they were her own hands: from him, she learned the beauty of a womans sweet curve, of a generous hip, of the delicate, mysterious space between a womans legs.

They were so together that her body knew what he wanted before her mind did. She arched back, welcomed him, sobbed when hard velvet stroked into her. His hands encircled her, protecting her from the railing.

He took it slow, each stroke a promise, to Harriets mind. The days strung forward, days and nights with Jem Exclamations arent enough. There are times when screaming is cal ed for, especial y when Jem slipped a hand in front of her body and began a wicked dance with his fingers. He rode her until she shattered; turned her about so he could kiss her again.

Lifted her onto the railing so that her legs wrapped around his hips, saying that he didnt want to come without seeing her face.

She cried. Whats a scream, after al , but a prelude to tears?

He was so deep within her that they didnt feel like two people.

Just one.

T hey came home slowly, walking the horses most of the way because Harriet admitted that her thigh muscles hurt.

Id take you in my lap, he said, but wed be seen.

Harriet laughed. I cant put Kittys storytel ing abilities to waste.

So they walked the horses home through the gathering snow and dark. She grateful y gave her mare back to Nick, and walked back to the house.

They were met by Povy.

A fever, my lord, he said, without preamble. Miss Eugenia has a fever and its quite high. Ive sent for the doctor.

Jems whole body froze. When?

An hour ago. I sent to the stables, but they said you had to be on the way back home already.

Jem pounded up the stairs, gone in an instant.

Harriet turned to Povy. What have you done for it?

Ive ordered the maids to make a snow bath. Wel use it if we have to. At the moment I have her snug in bed. Im sure you wil be a comfort. In that instant she realized that Povy knew precisely what she was (a woman), and quite likely, who she was (a duchess) as wel . Povy was simply that sort of man.

Il go, Harriet said, moving toward the stairs. She was thinking desperately about the laborer on her estate, the man who died of rat-bite fever. It had been a few weeks before the fever came on; yes, just the same as for Eugenia. But he had some sort of rash

Is there a rash? she asked.

She saw the same awareness in Povys eyes. He probably knew symptoms of every disease. Not yet.

That yet was no comfort.

February 23, 1784

T he first two days Harriet tried to stay out of Jems way. How long had she known Jem and Eugenia? A matter of weeks, even if it felt like years. She stopped in the morning and the evening to see Eugenia. She asked Povy for news every time she saw him. She wondered if she should leave, and couldnt bear to go out for a brief walk.

In casein case Jem needed her. In case Eugenia needed her. In case something so awful happened that she couldnt put it into words.

Most of Jems guests didnt appear to notice that their host was never to be seen. They heard his daughter had a fever, and having ascertained that it wasnt contagious, continued with their pursuits. The Graces left to travel to the house of the bishop for a week-long performance. Presumably the Game continued, though Harriet neither knew nor cared.

On the third day, Harriet peeked into Eugenias room in the evening to find Jem slumped in a chair by her bedside, asleep. He woke with a start.

The feverish patches on Eugenias cheeks told their own story. She wasnt in a deep sleep: every once in a while she would shake her head, back and forth, as if she were in an argument.

Whats she doing? Harriet whispered.

Fighting, Jem said. His voice was leaden with exhaustion. Shes fighting as hard as she can.

Eugenia shook her head again and said something indistinct. There was a no somewhere in the mumble.

Shes a good fighter, Harriet said. Wheres her nurse?

Eugenia doesnt like her. Il have to find another one tomorrow.

Is there any way I can help? Harriet said. Shed asked before, but he said no.

Now he looked at her, gaunt and exhausted. I have no right to ask you this.