Jesus is OTA this year. I think
the whole Christmas thing last year was all a bit much. It's nice
to have people remember your birthday but to have it as a two week
national holiday and an excuse for selfish decadence must get a bit
much, especially for someone so Zen.
He's probably hanging out with
Tat, sitting cross legged on a mountain top thinking of sex and
sausage rolls or playing snap with the sentry slugs.
22
Nineteen today. I stand naked
in front of the mirror and look at myself.
I'm a woman, I must be with my
three kids, but I see a girl looking back at me. My body has taken
a few knocks and gained some scars but nothing compares with the
hammering the kids have given it. They came from this body and suck
strength from it as they grow. Hopefully they'll repay the debt by
looking after me in my old age and not push my wheelchair off the
nearest cliff.
My hair has grown back and is
half way down my back, thick and straight. It's not blonde anymore,
it's darkening up and has turned brown with hints of red and gold.
I'm happy about that, the darker it grows, the stronger I am.
I like my
eyes.
I try to look into them
and see me, but what I see is an unfathomable depth like I'm
looking into a distant galaxy. There's sparks like diamond and
reflections from a hall of mirrors at the same time. Does the light
come from within or shine from outside? Probably a bit of both.
That mysterious spark is why I'm here, it's why Zeus saved me to be
his apprentice and why people take the gamble of trusting in me. My
eyes used to be bright blue, now I'm not quite sure. Have they
turned cold and grey with all the death that surrounds me? Is there
a hint of jealous green? Or are they just bouncing back the colours
that surround me like the colourless sea which is vibrant blue in
the tropics, grey in England and a cold dark green at the poles? My
eyes lost their innocence long ago but there's still plenty of
spark in them.
23
Shade is on the
cover of
Time
magazine, and
News Week
,
and
The New York
Times.
He's everywhere. More
good news.
Planet Earth is on
a Roll
, and
Earth
Enters the Age of Aquarius
shout the headlines.
'What is the Age of Aquarius?'
I ask.
'It's a load of waffle,' says
Castor. 'The Earth has a wobble on. No enough to make you drop your
cup of tea but a definite wobble. If you were to look up at the
North Star then get a little distracted for a couple of thousand
years and look at the same spot again, it's not going to be in
there. The Earth will have wobbled into Aquarius. Anyway, I didn't
get you up to talk wobbles; I wanted to bring you up to date on
Earth. Things are going good.'
'Good,' I say. 'I'm glad you're
watching because I never give it a thought.'
'You have more important things
to do. This dude, Shade, first appeared in the papers a month ago.
He's been giving to charity and has set up numerous foundations to
help kids in poor countries, including inner city ghettos in the
US. Here's a photo of him talking to President Obama at a charity
bash. He's completely charming and manages to get even the most
hard-nosed business men to support his causes.'
The screen flashes up a photo
of a huge shiny yacht berthed in a run-down fishing port with
sunken boats all around.
'This is the
one hundred and thirteen meter long motor yacht
Sex
belonging to one of the Russian billionaires, crooked men
who have all but stolen their wealth from the people. After a
chance encounter with Shade at a street cafe, the owner gave orders
for
Sex
to sail immediately to Puntland, a pirate lair in
Somalia, to be used as a floating school and medical centre.
Unbelievable.'
'It must be the power of The
Book.'
'I would like to think so,'
says Castor. 'When I went to do background checks on him, I found
that Renard had already done the donkey work and compiled a file.
It's good to see him doing something useful, maybe he's
changed.'
'Fat chance!' I say.
'Shade was born
in
Ekibastuz
,
Kazakhstan in 1972,
mother was a seamstress, father a coal miner. Did his schooling in
Astana, worked his way up through the local communist party and on
the breakup of the Soviet Union secured the mining rights to a
large area of wasteland. Oil and gas was discovered in 1999 and he
made his fortune. He's been an incredibly shrewd investor and is on
track to becoming one of the richest men on Earth. He has a long
list of celebrity lovers and hangs out with all the right
people.'
With his rugged features,
designer suit and trademark dark glasses he looks ever so
handsome.
'He's been voted the most
eligible bachelor on Earth. There's one for you Em.'
'I'll have to kill him first!'
I joke.
24
Castor calls me back up again a
week later. He's angry.
'Pollux said that there's a lot
of construction on Camillo. I've been keeping quiet about it
because I didn't want to upset you but just look at what I've found
on the Church of Christian Finance website,' says Castor, frowning
as he opens a web page on his cockpit screen.
'Buy a Slice
of Heaven. Five star beachfront condos on Paradise Beach, Heaven.
Have cancer and ready to drop? A heart murmur and think you might
die? Is life too much and you want to end it all? Do it now! Kill
yourself! A Slice of Heaven, the development people are dying to
visit. Satisfaction guaranteed. No risk, your money is held safely
in escrow until you push the pay button on the terrace of your
condo. Prices start at $10 million. Call now and talk on the God
phone directly to Heaven. La
st few apartments selling now. This is your last chance to
go to heaven. Don't wait, buy now before you miss out.'
Behind the text is a photo of a
massive apartment complex curving along a pristine golden beach. At
the very edge of the photo, overshadowed by the building, I can see
my cottage.
Bastards! What are they doing
to my Camillo?
I'm madder than I've ever been
before. My fighter appears on the beach, I teleport into the
cockpit, strap myself down and we're off.
The zinode who thought up
the emotion powered fighter is a genius. Renard doesn't even know
what's hit him. His moon explodes and I see his yellowness tumble
down towards the sea, then disappear with a big splash. The
beachfront condo is reduced to smoking rubble even before Pollux's
moon orbits into sight.
A slimeball whizzes past me
spinning down towards the surface. The fighter's just about to
blast it when Pollux whispers, 'No, let it go.'
It crashes down onto Camillo,
followed by another and another. I don't want to look at what's
happening. 'Look after Tat,' I say and head slowly back to Zwingly,
still fuming.
We don't want to go straight
back to live on Camillo; I want it to be revamped before we move
back. We form a committee. I never thought I would be one of those
old people who sat on a committee but here I am. I want Camillo's
future to be planned and the more brains the better. Castor and
Pollux and our zinode helpers are virtually here as well. First we
decide what we want, then work on how to get there. One thing is
clear; that's that I should concentrate on my children and not be
trying to do everything. Zeus is the best at running asteroids but
he's not around. We need someone with clear vision and lots of
drive. We could steal Napoleon from Juno but he would just do
everything his way, he's too much of a bossy boots.
Lilly is having a
meltdown. She's lost one of her doll's little knitted booties. We
turn the house upside down looking for it but can't find it
anywhere. It's been stolen, and I know who's taken it. That's the
man for us, John Smith the sock thief. He's a town planner. I like
him, we might lose the odd sock but at least we know where to look
for it. I go to visit him on Juno, get the missing bootie back and
make him a proposal. He says he'd love to help with the planning
but is not a leader; someone else can do that.
Him and Daphne, move to
Camillo. They stay in my cottage while they're getting things
started; it's good to have it being lived in.
Camillo goes to Psyche for a
refit. They tidy up the mess left by the Preacher Man and his
followers, put in farms, replant the forests and stock the sea with
fish, make a few changes to the landscape and construct a town and
some villages, install all the pipes needed to bring water in and
take pee away, and build a road network to link it all together. An
extra black hole is added to her core to provide energy, and on
Jesus's request, the resonator is upgraded to give better
surf.
The committee argues
about cars and buses and the Internet. I really like Juno, which is
living in a bit of a time warp. They get around on foot or by horse
and have the convenience of electricity without the clutter of
electronics. The Zinodes come up with such a good anti-car argument
that everyone agrees against cars and buses. They say it's a matter
of perception; Camillo's a smallish asteroid and if we can get
around quickly, it shrinks in the mind's eye and become tiny. If we
can only get around by walking or riding, the asteroid will seem
huge with vast unexplored wilds outside the little bubble that we
live in.
The kids make the decision on
electronics for us. We have a rainy day and they're driving us
crazy until Azziz nips down the video store and picks up a few DVDs
for the kids. Suddenly the fighting and whinging stops and they're
glued to the screen like zombies. We'll have electronics, and the
more processors and chips, the better!
As an afterthought, I ask
for a couple more rooms to be added onto my house. There's getting
to be a lot of us.
25
Not having much in the way of
seasons, it's hard to keep track of time on Zwingly. The days turn
into weeks and the weeks into months, then Castor gives me a
call.
'It's ready!' he says
excitedly.
'Ready, what's ready?' I ask,
trying to remember if I ordered something on the Internet.
'You asteroid!' he exclaims.
'Camillo is all fixed up, repaired, modified, replanted and back in
position, waiting for you!'
It's so out if the blue, I
don't know what to say. I'd sort of forgotten about it. That's what
motherhood does to you; your brain turns to Swiss cheese.
'Wonderful!' I say.
'You can move back on anytime.
Your cottage is free, John and Daphne have moved back to Juno,'
says Castor, then adds, 'I can't wait to get back.'
It takes me a little while to
get enthusiastic. We've been here so long that we've kind of
settled in. Vinny, Cosmo and Idris were born here, the older kids
have friends and we're into a comfortable routine.
We talk about it for days, then
decide to just do it. At the end of the Sunday afternoon jam
session, Janice announces that we'll be leaving. No, there won't be
a leaving party but we will have an asteroid warming once we've
settled back in.
The next
morning we visit the people who weren't at the jam session to
say
bye
, pile all our things and kids in the middle of
the room, and
click!
It's summer in Camillo; just
the tail end of it when the days are starting to draw in a little
and the sun is losing its oomph. Having just come out of refit the
asteroid seems as confused as we are. The clouds are scurrying
about not knowing quite what to do with themselves. There used to
be three but there seems to be more now. There's hot sunshine one
minute, then a snow squall the next. Pollux assures me that it'll
settle down in a week or two.
Once we've put
everything away and made ourselves at home again, it's like we've
never been away. Janice decides to stay for the time being. We're
all so used to being together, that it's hard to imagine being
apart, even if she is just down the other end of the beach. I'm
glad she's staying, I love her singing and
joie de vie
and
Lilly and River are best mates.
We head off together to
look around my property. The garden has been planted out, and
although some of the plants look a little confused, is flourishing.
The bougainvillea has covered the walls in magenta and the Peasgood
Nonsuch has huge apples on it.
Vinny walks as far as the
garden, but then his legs stop working, so he goes on my shoulders
while the bigger kids run ahead down the narrow track through the
sugar cane. A clanging of bells lets us know they have found the
sheep. Crossing the paddock, we stop in the shade of a mango tree
to eat bananas then puff our way up to the hilltop. It's my
favourite spot here on top of the bluff. I love to sit on the edge,
looking out to sea and chill.
With six kids, there's no
chilling going on.
'Nelly, get away from the
edge!' I screech.
'River, stop
pushing Lilly! River, NOW
!'
shouts Janice.
'Look out Cosmo!' yells Annie,
as she dives to stop him going over the edge.