Enchanted and Desired (42 page)

I hear Lily before I see her.

“Oh my God. Simon.” She drops down in front of me, her face a picture of despair as she takes in the sight of me.

“Is she?” She can’t even bring herself to say the words.

“They’re trying to stabilize her now. They haven’t told me anything.” She pulls me into her arms, clinging to me for dear life.

“She’s going to be okay Si. She’s a fighter.” I grab onto her, the only person that loves Jess almost as much as I do.

“She has to be Lil. She just has to be.”

Brandon strides over to the reception desk, demanding that someone comes to speak to us as soon as possible. It’s the first time I’ve been truly grateful that he’s a pushy bastard. Normally I’m the same, but I’m so fucking scared right now, I almost don’t want to find out what’s happening. If they walk through those doors and tell me they couldn’t…that her and the baby…I can’t even think it. It’s too horrific.

A few minutes later, the doors swing open and a solemn looking doctor walks towards us, her scrubs covered in blood. As I stand to speak to her, I feel like the ground is crumbling beneath my feet; my world is falling apart.

“Are you Jessica Foster’s family?”

“Yes. She’s my wife.” I don’t care if it’s a lie. As far as I’m concerned at this moment in time, it’s a fucking technicality. Brandon and Lily are silent at my side, not even a look of surprise at my declaration. They know as well as I do, that if Jess makes it through this, I will fucking marry her and chain her to my side for the rest of her very long life.

“How is she?”

“We’ve managed to stabilize her enough to get her up into the O.R. She has extensive bleeding, we’ve transfused five units already, but she’ll need more. We need to go in and find the source of the bleeding.”

“What about the baby?”

“The baby is alive, with a strong heartbeat, under the circumstances.”

“Thank God.”

“I don’t want to give you false hope sir.”

“Simon. Call me Simon.”

“Okay Simon. Our priority at this time is to stop your wife’s bleeding. We are aware that she’s only 30 weeks into the pregnancy, but there is a strong possibility that we will have to deliver the baby today. Jessica’s body is struggling at the moment. If we can put off delivery, we will, but that all depends on what we find when we get her into the O.R.”

“I understand. Please do whatever you have to. Just keep them alive.”

“I will do my absolute best. I need to go and scrub in. There’s a waiting room up on the surgical floor. The receptionist can give you directions. Someone will keep you updated.”

“Thank you doctor.”

As soon as she turns to leave, I sink back down into my seat. Holy Shit. The baby is so premature. There is no guarantee that it will survive being born at this point. Jess will be devastated if we lose the baby;
I will be devastated
. Above all else, today, I
need
Jess to pull through. If she doesn’t…

“Come on Si. Let’s get you cleaned up and then we can head up to the waiting room. Jess’s parents are on their way and so are your mom and dad.”

“I don’t need to get cleaned up man. I’m not leaving here.” Brandon pulls me into a hug.

“I know Si. I’m going to go pick you up some fresh clothes and I’ll be back in twenty minutes. Lily is going to stay here with you. Look after her for me. You two need each other right now.”

I watch as he comforts his wife, her eyes red with tears for her best friend. It makes me ache for Jess. The one person that could offer me any kind of comfort, is the one person that I can’t be with.

When Brandon leaves, Lily and I find out where we need to be and head up to wait. It’s all we can do now…
wait
…and hope.

JESS

I’m vaguely aware that I’m not at home anymore. There are people all around me, unfamiliar voices, frantic and shouting orders. I don’t really understand what they’re saying. I hear snippets of words that scare me – blood…critical…stat…the baby. OH MY GOD. The baby. My baby. Our Baby.

I was supposed to meet Si for lunch, but the last thing I remember was going into the bathroom to take my vitamins, and then I was consumed by a blinding pain. I ended up on my hands and knees trying to crawl to my phone, to get help; to get Simon. The pain was so intense, like being crushed from the inside out, I must have passed out before I could call for help. I think Simon found me. I have flashes of him calling my name, intense pain, and then nothing after that.

Now I’m here, alone, in a room full of strangers.

“Simon.” I manage to whisper. A soothing, almost ethereal voice answers me.

“Jessica. I’m Doctor Field. We’re going to take you into the operating room now. You’ve lost a lot of blood and we need to get it stopped. We’re going to do everything we can for you and your baby.”

“Simon.” I croak.

“Your husband is outside waiting for you. I’m afraid he can’t come in here.” I can feel my panic rising.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. “You need to stay calm Jessica. For the baby. We’re going to take good care of you. I promise.” I open my eyes, but all I see is blackness.

“I can’t see. What’s happening to me? I’m blind.” The voice in the darkness returns.

“Your blood pressure is dangerously low right now Jess. That can cause temporary blindness, but as soon as we get it back up, you’ll be fine. That’s why you need to stay calm honey. I’m here with you.” She grabs my hand and squeezes.

“The baby? How is my baby?”

“She’s fine. She’s a fighter.”

“She? It’s a girl.”

“I’m sorry Jessica. I should have asked if you already knew the sex. Yes…it’s a baby girl.” In my darkness, a ray of light.

“I’m having a baby girl.”

“Congratulations Jessica.”

“Jess. Just Jess.”

“Do you have any names picked out Jess?” Slow, silent tears course down my face.

“I always wanted a girl. Verona. I wanted to call her Verona.”

“That’s beautiful. Is that Italian?”

My fear chokes me as I try to speak. “Yes. Her daddy is Italian. He’ll be an amazing father. Please tell him I wanted to call her Verona.”

“You can tell him yourself. When you wake up from surgery,
you
are going to tell him.”

“What’s your name?”

“I’m Laurie, and I’m going to be by your side throughout surgery Jess.” That gives me a small amount of comfort.

“I’m scared Laurie. I don’t want to die. I want to be a mommy, and I want to tell Simon I’m sorry, and that I love him.”

“You need to fight Jess. For Simon, and for Verona. You hear me?” A sob escapes me.

“Yes. Please, promise me though. If I don’t make it, please tell him I love him. He’s my whole world. Him and Verona.” I take a deep breath, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. “If it comes down to it – save her; save Verona. Please. Promise me.”

Although I can’t see her, I can feel her stroking my hair.

“I promise.” She continues to hold my hand as other voices begin to speak to me, telling me that they are going to put me to sleep now. I feel a cold sensation running up my arm as they inject me with something. My head starting to go fuzzy almost immediately.

“Count back from ten for me Jess.” I try to choke it out.

“Ten.”

My brain is racing, my survival instincts pushing me to stay awake.

“Nine.”

I don’t want to die. I
want
to wake up from this and be a mommy. I want to raise my daughter.

“Eight.”

I might never see her beautiful face. She has to survive. I couldn’t save my first baby, but Verona needs to survive.

“Seven.”

An image of Simon holding a gorgeous baby girl, our baby girl, fills my mind, soothing my fears. He’ll look after her. He will protect her, and love her, and give her everything she needs. Even if I can’t.

“Six.”

My body is numb, my thoughts fragmenting; fleeting images of Simon, Verona, and a baby that never had a chance; a baby that I couldn’t protect, that I never had the chance to love and cherish. My heart breaks for that baby, and for the baby that I have felt growing inside me these past few months. All I can do is pray that my baby girl fights to survive; that she fights to live.

“F…i…v…e…”

I feel myself being pulled into the darkness, into my worst nightmares…

Four Years Earlier

I run out of his dorm, the tears practically blinding me as I try to make my way through the crowded halls. I feel like I’m going to be sick; choking down the sobs and screams that want to break free from my throat. I knew he was messing around a little, but fucking another girl? Have there been others? I feel like such a fool. I really thought if I did everything he wanted, I would be enough for him – that he would love me again.

I’m almost out of the building, when a familiar hand curls tight around my wrist.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going baby?”

“Let go of me.”

“Don’t tell me what to fucking do.”

“Please…Gavin.” He drags me back through the crowd and drags me down into the basement boiler room. The fear that grips me in this moment is like a vice around my chest. It’s dark and eerily quiet down here. No one knows we’re here.

I know what I need to do, I need to tell him why I came over tonight. That will change his mind about whatever he has in store for me now.

“Don’t ever run away like that Jess. I fucking decide when you come and when you go. Got it?”

“I’m sorry Gav. I was upset. Seeing you with…her.” He grabs my face in his large, strong hand, gripping me so tight that my teeth are digging into my cheeks. I taste blood.

“That’s none of your fucking business. You’re MY girl. None of those girls mean anything. You’re the one I love baby.” He lets go of me.

“There have been others?” My voice is barely a whisper. My heart broken into a thousand pieces. The back of his hand connects with my face before I have a chance to shield myself.

“NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS! You really are a dumb cunt sometimes.”

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry Gavin. Please forgive me. I love you.” He pulls me into his arms, stroking my hair.

“I forgive you Jess. Just don’t fucking question me again, I don’t like hurting you.”

“…Okay…I won’t. I have something I need to tell you.” He continues to stroke my hair.

“You can tell me anything baby.” I take a deep breath and say the words out loud for the first time.

“I’m eight weeks pregnant.” I feel his body stiffen against me, his delicate strokes on my hair becoming painful as he curls his hand into a fist, taking my hair with it.

“Is it mine?” I have never heard his voice sound so cold and void of all emotion. It’s terrifying.

“Of course it is Gavin. I’ve always been faithful to you. There’s only you.” He pushes me away.

“You really are a manipulative little bitch aren’t you? Getting pregnant on purpose to fucking trap me! Is that what you thought? That you could TRAP ME?” I’m speechless as I stare at his wild eyes. “ANSWER ME!”