Enchanted and Desired (7 page)

I quickly grab my clothes off the floor and shrug them on. I hate putting on clothes from the night before, but I’m pretty sure I would look like a dick if I went out there in Jess’s robe. As I step out into the hallway I bump into Brandon. I have never been so happy to see him in my whole fucking life. I need a distraction. We fall into our normal routine trashing each other, laughing and joking as we make our way to the kitchen. The smells coming at me right now are heavenly. She can cook as well. I am royally screwed.

Watching Brandon greet Lily is both endearing and seriously fucking annoying at the same time. The look on Jess’s face when I walk over to her, you would think I had murdered a baby. Fuck it…I stand behind her, my chest flush on her back. I
know
I affect her. I nuzzle into her neck, drinking in the smell of her, when her whole body flinches against me. Shit. She is going to react badly to this.

To my amazement, her entire body becomes fluid and languid, molding to my hard chest. I take that as a green light to continue nibbling her neck. She tastes so fucking good, and I can still smell our sex on her. I’m getting hard from the memory, but her pliancy doesn’t last long and I get the cold shoulder throughout breakfast.

Brandon has to leave to organize his date with Lily tonight, and I know I should just go with him, but I want to talk to Jess about what happened last night. Her silence is made worse only by her glacial stare when we are left alone. I brave asking if she has plans for the day, only to be cut down with an obvious lie.

“Yes. I’m very busy all day with Lily.” From the look on Lily’s face that’s the first she’s heard of it. Fuck, this girl is hard work.

“I better get going too then. Walk me out?” I say goodbye to Lily and make my way to the door, my heart pounding in my chest, hands in my pockets, head down. I am a motherfucking pussy, but I don’t want to leave her like this.

“So, I’ll call you?” I know this is a ridiculous question. She wouldn’t spit on me if I was on fire. A phone call from me is not something she’ll be waiting for with bated breath. I push my luck for one last kiss, and am completely blindsided by her reaction.

She plants her soft, elegant hands on either side of my face, pulling me in, kissing me with a passion and urgency that kills me, floors me, making me want to beg her for more. As quickly as it began, it’s over. She pushes me back and I
know
I have a fucking idiotic satisfied look on my face, but FUCK ME, that was literally the best kiss I have ever had, and I wasn’t even in the driver’s seat.

I don’t want to push her beyond what she can handle, so I turn and force myself into the elevator without looking back. I can’t even turn to face her door as I hear it slam shut. That simple noise stings more than it should.

Jess is all I can think of, she has consumed my thoughts this past week. The look in her eyes still haunts me. I can usually spot a girl with issues a mile away, but Jess…she hid it so well, behind her charm, and sass and bravado. It was only in that moment of sheer vulnerability that she let her guard slip, and there it was…that look; the look that speaks a thousand words. I
know
without a doubt that someone hurt her…really fucking badly.

I’m trying to give her some space, because I realize that Friday night was hard for her, and the trust she put in me to let me carry on, to let me help her forget…well that was a huge step. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not fucking pining over this girl, but she has awakened something long suppressed in me, and I would like to help her if I can; if she ever speaks to me again.

I got her number from Brandon yesterday, but I haven’t tried to contact her yet. I need a bit of time to figure out what it is that I want to say to her. I would like to at least offer her friendship. I know I’m not better for much else, but I lived through watching Sofia piece her life back together, and it is so fucking amazing to see her thriving now. I don’t know if she’ll ever trust a man enough to have a serious relationship, but she poured all of her strength and all of her focus into dancing. She graduated from Julliard three years ago now and has been touring the world with a prominent ballet company ever since. I am so damn proud of her.

She’s going to be back in town soon for a few months which will be great. I miss my baby sister when she’s on the road. She’s the only one that really understands my reluctance to have a relationship. The only one that knows without a doubt that I don’t shirk attachments to women just to be a player. She understands the fear…more than anyone. I could use her advice on what the fuck I’m doing with Jess. I don’t want to cause this girl anymore pain, but something is drawing me to her and I can’t fucking shake it.

JESS

I really need Lily right now. I need to talk through all of the shit that is spiraling out of control in my head, but she is so deliriously happy with Brandon, and I can’t bring myself to dump all of this crap on her. She tried to talk to me last Saturday after the guys left our apartment, but I just couldn’t. If I had opened the floodgates at that point, I would have told her things…things about me that I could never take back. My secrets are mine, and I will
never
put that burden on anyone else…especially not Lily.

We’ve known each other since Junior High; we’re sisters in every way that matters, and Lily has been through more than anyone should have to bear. She had shut herself down to the possibility of love…until Brandon entered the picture a few weeks ago. She is the happiest I have ever seen her. I love her; I would do anything for her, and I won’t take this away from her for my own selfish need to purge my dirty, broken soul.

Lily thinks my freshman year boyfriend Gavin cheated on me, broke my heart, and left me angry with all men. She’s not completely wrong, but I didn’t tell her the whole story, and I never will. I’ll live with my shame, keep it as my own, and keep pretending as long as I live. It’s the only way to survive.

I spent Saturday locked in my room, trying to block out the night before with Simon. A difficult task when everything in my room smelled of him, reminded me of him, and brought me to my knees in my desire to run into his arms and hold on for dear life. That’s not who I am, and it took me a day or two to get over that.

I had a moment of weakness, a single moment in time when he saw into the very depths of my soul, and he didn’t run. He stayed, and the way he worked my body…God…the way he touched me…it’s the first time since Gavin that I was really able to forget; able to lose myself.

It’s Friday night, and Lily is staying at Brandon’s. I know what I need to do to get out of my funk. I’m going to call the guy that gave me his number in a coffee shop today, and I’m going to go out dancing, drinking and do what I do best. I’m going to fuck him, take what I need and come home to my apartment alone. This is what works, this is what keeps me happy, and anything else is a pipe dream.

An hour of drinks, and I can’t handle any more of this guy’s insidious rambling. He is so freaking dull, but lucky for him, he has a body to die for and I plan on using it tonight. Colin…I think that’s his name…suggests that we go dancing at Cube, which gets a resounding NO from me. I do NOT need to be bumping into Simon Mantovani tonight. I use my wiles to convince him that Spyder is a much better club and that we simply have to go check it out. He doesn’t need much convincing - A hot kiss and a grab of his tight ass and he is putty in my hands.

When we arrive at Spyder, the queue is around the block, but it seems to be moving quickly so we wait it out, and when we step inside, it’s totally worth it. The atmosphere is electric, music is blaring through the speakers, and bodies are writhing on the dance floor. I need some dancing juice to get past this guy’s personality and get down to business. We drink a few shots before making our way onto the floor.

The guy can move - I’ll give him that. Now that he’s putting his mouth to better use, I’m liking him a whole lot more. He has strong hands, a rock hard chest and hips that are telling me he knows how to use his dick as he grinds his semi against me. His hands are roaming all over my body as I move to the music, finding the slow sensual beat and losing myself to it. It feels so amazing to drift into the zone – not having to feel, not having to think, just focusing on dancing and the desire that is starting to build as Colin caresses me, his lips grazing my neck as I tilt my head to give him better access.

I don’t know how many songs we dance to, or how long we stay on the floor, but my body is buzzing as he leads me from the dance floor over to the bar. I down my French Martini in record time, ready to get out of here and take the release I so desperately need from this guy. As I take his hand in mine, leaning in to whisper the filthy things I want him to do to me, I feel a warm, strong hand on my shoulder. As I turn to see who is behind me, my heart sinking deep into the recesses of my stomach. Simon stands towering over me, his imposing frame and stunning features a menacing combination.

“Quite the show you’ve been putting on tonight sweetheart.” God his voice does things to my insides that I don’t even understand. It washes over me, bathing me in a warm glow, regardless of the words that he’s saying.

I quickly pull myself together, extricating myself from Colin’s grasp – he tries to pull me back towards him but before I get a chance to speak, Simon is in front of me, his glare now firmly fixed on the poor schmuck I came here with.

“Don’t pull her like that man. I would hate to have you thrown out of here.”

Colin doesn’t seem intimidated by this declaration. “You’re the one laying hands on
my
date…MAN. So how about you fuck off, or I’ll get YOU thrown out.” Simon throws his head back laughing at this attempt at a pissing contest.

“Yeah, good luck getting me thrown out of MY club asshole. I fucking own this place and half the clubs you probably frequent in Manhattan. So fucking step back and give me a minute to talk to my good friend Jess. How about you run along like a good little boy and go hail a cab so you can get the fuck out of my club before you really piss me off.” I should slap him in the face for that outburst but I am so turned on right now I can feel my panties soaking wet against my pussy.

I turn to Colin to appease the rage I see building on his face. “It’s ok baby. Just go and get us a cab. I’ll be right out. Simon’s a friend of mine and he obviously has a stick up his ass tonight. I’ll be five minutes tops.” He reluctantly agrees, but as soon as his back is turned, Simon is dragging me behind the bar and into his office.

It’s a big room, but his presence makes it feel claustrophobic. He pushes me down on the couch, his body looming over me, firmly pressed against mine; his face mere inches from my own. His intoxicating smell invades my senses, his warm minty breath caressing my face as he begins to speak.