Enchanting Wilder (41 page)

Sarah gasps, covering her mouth with her hand and Noah’s nostrils flare. A flicker of blaze behind his eyes.

“Do you…” I’m afraid to ask. “Do you know that name?”

Mom and dad step forward, mom wringing her hands and dad holding on tight to mom’s shoulder. “Noah?”

“I know the name, I’m afraid.”

“And?” I probe, though I don’t know if I really want to know. My bubble is far too stretched out at the moment.

“Yeah, dad. Why are you being so evasive?” Wood asks, standing next to me.

“Anxo…Anxo was a friend. We met him centuries ago.” He shakes his head. “He was participating on both sides of the field. He was a player in this game some of the angels had going. Declan can probably attest to this, when angels get bored, or are tired of following orders, they tend to lash out. But, not enough to get banished like Lucifer.” He breathes. “I came into contact with Anxo during a trip to Ireland. I was following a lead on a nest of vampires, and he stepped up to help. He was a great fighter. As we grew closer, I began to see signs of his disloyalty to God. Though, I never questioned him because it wasn’t my place, and he was always very good to us. The back and forth in his moods is what set me off. You don’t remember, Declan, but he stayed with us for a time. One night, I caught him conspiring with an angel he called, Apolly.”

“Shit,” Declan curses under his breath. Running his hand through his hair, he looks to me, his eyes wild.

“What?” I ask in a panic.

He drags his hands down his face and shakes his head. “Apolly is bad news, McKenna. Bad news. He’s why I was sent here.”

Noah continues with anguish written all over his face, “That doesn’t surprise me. Apolly, he was a master manipulator. Just from the few times I saw him, I could see how deluded he was. He wanted Anxo to find Maker. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how. All I knew was that I had to stop him. The moment Apolly found out I knew, he skipped town. I had a direct line to God and he knew I’d tell Him. Later, I confronted Anxo and he promised he wanted nothing to do with Apolly and his so-called mission.”

“So, what happened?” Wood asks, stepping closer to his parents.

“Anxo left and I’ve never heard from him again. I assume he went back to his home in Ireland. I did try to look for him, but haven’t been very successful.”

“Maker said he’s dead,” Declan says. “Did you know about her before?”

“Her?” Noah says. “No. We just knew Maker was the ruler of Beneath.”

Declan squints. “That sort of brings us full circle, then, dad.” He laments. “Dad, Maker is Ava.”

The entire room falls silent.

“Dad?” Declan finally whispers after agonizingly long seconds.

Noah shakes his hands. “It’s not possible.”

Declan scratches the side of his face, moving to the table to sit next to his parents. “Did you actually see her die? Did you bury her?”

Noah and Sarah grow silent.

“What is it?” I ask.

“There were only twelve of us on Earth by that time. A message was sent straight from Heaven, informing us of her death.”

Declan pulls on his bottom lip with his teeth, the crease in his brows overwhelming his face. “Dad, Heaven doesn’t send out memos. They probably couldn’t care less.”

Wood shakes his head. “But they were practically the original humans. God didn’t care about you guys?”

Declan bites his lip. “Unfortunately, Heaven is a mess. He had—probably still has—a lot going on with everything up there. He trusted Noah, Sarah and the other couple to repopulate the Earth. So, I wouldn’t be surprised if He had no idea anyone had passed.”

“Dammit,” Noah admonishes, letting his head fall into his hands.

“That’s not it,” Wood says and Kai clears his throat.

“Maker is McKenna and Kai’s mom.”

“What?” Sarah laughs a ridiculous laugh and Noah’s face turns an odd shade of red.

“When Maker…Ava fell in love with Lucifer, he turned her into a Mara.”

“That’s what they call a woman that’s a demon-slash-witch,” Noah says. “We read that book when you were young, Wood.”

Wood nods.

“And a male like me,” Kai offers, “is a Thayan. In a way, we’re a little like Strix. We can prolong our lives for extremely long periods of time.”

“And that’s what Ava did,” Wood adds. “She’s been living all this time as a Mara, and apparently, her magic is fading. She’s dying.”

I add the next shocker to the conversation, “She wants me to take over. She wants me to become the ruler of Beneath.”

“Wait,” Sarah stops us. “That would make you, Wood and Kai related…and that would make you two our grandchildren.”

We three nod.

“And, I’m an uncle,” Wood jokes, adding a little levity to this crazy situation.

“Holy hell, I didn’t see this coming,” my dad breathes out.

Noah shakes his head. “In all of our years, I couldn’t have fathomed this outcome. Ava…the tyrant of Beneath. McKenna, honey, what are you going to do?”

I cross my arms and lean heavily against the wall. “I don’t know. Honestly, I’m on the fence. Declan has some really good points if I do decide to take over. I could change everything. I could rule differently. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”

Mom shuffles to me, tears in her eyes. “I don’t think you can ever properly prepare for something this big. But if anyone can get a handle on the evil in this world, it would be you.”

Their unwavering faith in me is astounding. “I wish I could believe you. I just don’t have the faith. I’ve never endured anything like this.”

Now that I have most of my memories back, I can say that for certain.

Life before the Sawyers wasn’t fun, but it also wasn’t hard. Being the daughter of the most ruthless person in existence did have its perks. Sure she did send us to Limbo to lose our minds, but she didn’t kill us, and trust me when I say, that’s a fate I don’t want to live.

“It’ll be hard,” mom agrees. “Just go with your heart, honey.”

Noah stands up from the table, his boots hitting heavy against the wooden floor as he makes his way to me. “We’re family. No matter what you choose, you have to remember you aren’t alone. There’s light and dark inside of you. Hell—there’s darkness in all of us, but only you get to choose which one you want to live by.”

My eyes widen and I can feel the pinching behind my eyes, tears threatening to spill. “How can I trust myself? I don’t want to become her.”

Noah shakes his head. “That’s going to be a battle for you to fight on your own. No one can tell you who to be. You have to do what’s in your heart.”

Heart. Heart. Heart.
Ugh. I don’t even know who I am anymore, let alone where my heart lies.

All I know is I don’t want to lose the people I have in my life. The rest is just details.

“Thank you, Noah. It means a lot.”

Noah steps back and Sarah stands up.

“I took the liberty of moving your stuff out of your room,” mom tells me. “Noah and Sarah can have your room and you and Declan take the guest house out back. I’m sure you’ll need time to absorb all of this and the quiet will really help.”

“Thank you, mama,” I say, walking to her to surround her in a hug. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, honey. Go take some time for yourself, and dinner will be ready at seven.”

I nod and take Declan’s hand, walking out the back door.

The sun shines so brightly against Declan’s face, his green eyes electric against the harsh light. He stops me when we’re in front of the door to the guest house. “Your time is now, Mighty. Devotion comes from within. You already have our support. It’s all up to you now.”

With that, he kisses me long and hard, everything a kiss from Declan should be. Passionate and loving. Sigh-inducing and perfect.

I melt into him, my arms holing his strong shoulders.

“I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

What in the hell was I thinking?

I can’t make this decision.

Frustrated with myself and my lack of decision making, I take a seat next to the bay window in the back of the house, just off the kitchen.

Outside, night has fallen, the chill of snow in the distance. It’s only snowed once this winter, and I can feel the harshness of the season about to hit us hard.

Probably foreshadowing for what the choices I’m about to make.

Declan brought dinner to me earlier, knowing I wasn’t going to be able to face the wondering eyes inside without an answer.

With the clank of the plate against the table and a kiss on the head, he left me to my thoughts, though I really wish he didn’t. I can’t take the silence and the yelling all at once.

Knock, knock.

Someone’s at the door.

Thankful for a little distraction, I hop from my seat and open the door with a swish to find Kai standing outside, his hot breath producing wisps of air around his face. “Can I come in?”

I step back, opening the door wider. “Of course. What’s up?”

He walks to the small living room and sits on the retro yellow couch putting his feet up on the coffee table. “I don’t know if you should do it,” he says, coming right out with it, looking guilty. “Beneath is such a bad place for a kind soul like you.”

“Like us,” I correct, sitting down next to him.

He smiles, taking my hand. “Like us. Why don’t we just leave? We have the ability to go anywhere in the world. Declan and Wood can come with us. We can dodge Maker for years and we can let her die.”

I breathe deeply through my nose. “And let monsters run free? Kai, I don’t think I can do that. Plus, you know Declan and Wood will want to go back to their Pursuer duties. Or gosh—I hadn’t even thought about it—but Declan might want to go back to Heaven.”
Oh God, is he going to do that?
He could leave me no matter what I choose.

“But,” Kai worries. “Maker is such a good liar. What if she’s not telling the truth? We can handle her crap now. We’ve been fighting monsters with Declan and Wood just fine. She could not die for centuries.”

“It’s not going to be the same and you know it. The more I put it off, the more Maker will start hounding me. I don’t want to put anyone else in danger.” My hands begin to shake.

“You’re worth the fight,” Kai promises with sincerity. “I think it’s a really bad idea.”

I chew on my nail and absorb what Kai is saying and nod.

Back and forth like a pendulum, I contemplate my options. So much comes with accepting my place as Maker. My entire life would change. Everything would be different. My relationships wouldn’t be the same. Declan and I would have to change. Not to mention, the Leaders will be up in arms—I’m choosing darkness, after all. But maybe I could hold them off, talk to them, help them see I want a change. I wouldn’t be Ava. I’d be a new ruler.

Kai points to the door, his eyes so worried, and just like that, I’m second-guessing myself, again. “I’m going to go. I just had to say my peace.” He squeezes my leg and lets himself out without another word from me.

Pounding my forehead with the pad of my hand, I groan. Now not only do I have to worry about Maker’s proposition, I have to think about what Declan might do now that he knows his true identity. He’s an angel.

Crap. I could hold him back. He’s the only one not attached to this world—not really, at least. He has duties and responsibilities to God. Being with a half-demon/half-angel is probably the opposite of what he needs.

Overloaded with information and beaten down by unknown possibilities, I get dressed for bed in a zombie-like state and throw myself into the mattress.

Pulling the covers up to my chin, I close my eyes.

Occasionally the darkness is where your true self lies and I guess you could say, I found myself there. In the dark. I don’t know if I can go back to the way I was before. I’m not just the normal Strix, McKenna anymore. What’s deep inside me is so much more.

All I know for sure is if I have to make this life-changing decision, it has to be on my own terms. Having a demon and an angel on my shoulder will only muddle my brain. Each one of them shoving me one way or the other.

So, I close my eyes tight and allow myself to swim in the darkness inside of me. Revel in who I am, and who I was born to be. As long as I know my truth—and have faith in my heart—I can do the unthinkable.