Authors: Leslie Drennan
Within minutes Avan was gone and I was alone with the keys to my past. The explanation of my life now sat in my hands and though I felt a sense of urgency to find out what made me so unique that people would come after me, kill my parents, and set it up to look like a murder suicide, somehow I was also overtaken by unexplained fear of the secrets these puzzle pieces would hold. Taking a deep breath, I took the envelope from my back pocket, slowly opened it, and slid the letter out. Unfolding the thick letter, I felt the hot tears escape my eyes.
I had done so well lately, trying not to think about how much I missed my parents. I kept myself distracted without crying over it in months, but now all I could do was hold the letter close to my heart, sobbing uncontrollably as it broke all over again. The emotion of the night I came home to flashing lights and crime scene tape played in my mind again. My mind went to a dark place where I began scolding myself for being such a horrible daughter. I was ashamed to admit that I had not been to my parents’ graves to pay my respects since they day they were placed there. The only thing I could say was that I often had recurring pity parties for myself over the past few years when they crossed my mind. I was so selfish and self-centered. I hardly deserved the things my dad had left for me. Right now the only thing I wanted was to be with them again.
I wished I had been at home that night as well so at least I would not have to go through the rest of my life alone without them. I just knew my dad was incapable of murdering my mom. He was such a strong person and had never had any suicidal tendencies either. No matter how bad of an argument they ever got into due to his bad temper, the thought of murder/suicide would never have even crossed the darkest, most vile part of his mind. I knew there had to be more to it, and it was time to find out. The only way to know was to open the pages of my past and read it from my dad’s words.
CHAPTER 12
To My Special Angel,
If you are reading this, it means that your mother and I are no longer with you to protect you and give you the information you so desperately need to stay safe from those who can harm you. I am so sorry that things have to be so complicated for you, and I wish now, writing this letter, that your mother and I could be with you to give you the information you need to arm yourself against the evil of the world. I am writing this because I know that the possibility of those who wish to harm us are going to show up one day, and when they do they will make sure your mother and I are not there to prevent them from getting to you.
Matalyn, there are some things about your mother and me that you need to know for your own safety. I know when you read this you will question every single line, but I swear to you that it is all true. I need you to keep an open mind and believe so that you can prevent harm from coming to you. I need you to understand that you are very special and unlike anyone else who has ever existed. From the time you were born we knew that you were very unique and that the others would stop at nothing to seek you out. We did our best to raise you like any other little girl, but I see now that didn’t even help. There is a world greater than your imagination that exists all around you, which you will begin to notice and become aware of even before you have the chance to read this letter. You will start to notice your own special abilities, and you will probably develop even more as time goes on. I am certain you do not know a fraction of the powers you possess or how to use them, but there will be others sent to help you with this. I know I’m making things even more confusing. Let me start from the beginning.
Years ago, before you were born, your mother and I lived in other places and we didn’t look the way you knew us to. She has always been so good, and her life’s goal was to do the work of the Father. Your mother was one of heaven’s angels. Her job was to try to help those who belonged on earth (humans) to make moral decisions that would keep them close to God and to influence those who had not come to know Him to do so. She was so good at what she did, always caring so much about lost souls. I don’t think there was ever anyone with a more pure heart. Your mother was difficult to look at because the light of God’s love flowed from her. She had indescribable beauty and grace. When she spoke it sounded like music, and those who heard it could not ignore her no matter how much they wanted to. She was the highest angel in her division with the task of winning souls for heaven, so it was more than a shame that she was targeted in such a heartless way.
Unfortunately, my story is one of shame and embarrassment. I was an angel from hell. Ruthless and uncaring, I was in charge of the leagues of hell’s angels. We were the ones responsible for unleashing the demons on the earth as we saw fit to prohibit your mother, and those on her side of the war, from winning. We wanted to inflict pain and suffering on the humans. We wanted to convince them that God wasn’t real and that He never cared for anyone. Our job was to plant doubt, fear, distrust, dishonesty, and havoc into their world and their minds—to draw them toward the darkness. I was brutal and did so many horrible things. I gained rank by becoming the vilest creature anyone could imagine, as I was totally heartless and did whatever I was told, completing mission after mission handed down to me from Satan himself. Being an angel of hell came with a beauty as well. Like your mother, I was striking. However, I used this to seduce and make people fall rather than to show God’s love through me. As an angel of hell I felt no emotion, empathy, or love. To feel emotion was something only the good angels of heaven were supposed to feel, and we were to be void of that ability.
Though heaven and hell are opposite and on most levels are enemies, they do agree on a few things. One of those things is how angels are punished, but hell is normally brasher. There are several things an angel can do to get punished, such as not follow direct orders and other petty things, but major offenses require the maximum punishment. The three major offenses of heavenly angels are breaking a promise, treason, and murder. Since the beginning of time, heavenly angels who committed these crimes would have their wings removed, have their ability removed to create children or find love, and live out their immortal lives on the earth, always desperately trying to get back to the life they once had.
Later, after the Nephilim race was created, which are the children with one angel parent and one human parent, heaven added having a human mate to its list of major offenses, considering angels were never meant to have children. Hell refused to add it, finding no harm and actually benefiting from the Nephilim to a degree, because they were evil. Even with murder and broken promises, hell was lenient. The only real major offense that a hell’s angel could commit was treason, which was punishable much more harshly, even though the agreement was that all angels be punished the same.
Satan took his angels’ fate into his own hands. Though we had the permission of creating them, most of the hell’s angels felt no need to create evil children with humans that would not be immortal like they were. In later years the angels who had been punished by having their wings removed began to find pleasure in earthly things like money, gambling, fame, and other empty things that brought them pleasure. Both heaven and hell decided this was no longer a punishment, making the decision that they would change the punishment a little. They decided that rather than just take an angel’s wings, they would also take away their immortality so that when they were forced to leave and live on earth, their body would grow old like a human’s. In addition, they removed the safeguard they had put in place, allowing them to feel the same pains and discomforts a normal person feels over the course of time. What heaven failed to realize was that upon agreeing to this, how much of an effect it would have in the war they were in against each other.
You see, Mattie, hell had a game plan all along. Hell’s desire was to create a new race of
super angels
that would work for them to overpower the angels from heaven who were battling against them for the souls of humans. When the safeguard was removed, allowing the fallen angels to feel all human pain, that included childbirth. The safeguard prevented angel bloodlines from being passed on.
Heavenly angels have more power than hell’s angel possess, so hell wanted to create a race that would have both. Where hell’s angels have the power to seduce humans into making poor decisions that will bring pain and suffering, unleash demons to create problems for them, and manipulate them into a life of torment, heavenly angels are capable of so much more. A heavenly angel can read the thoughts of other angels that are of their kind, know when someone needs them, protect others, use heightened senses, know when there are hell’s angels near, and most importantly, call on God to assist them.
As a hell’s angel, you never have a clue when a heavenly angel is around unless they are very obvious about it. Since most of us are on a mission when we are roaming around the earth, both sides usually look like anyone else on the street. Wings stay hidden unless you make them visible, and even if you do, only other angels can see them. Since heavenly angels have white, feathered wings and hell’s angels have black, feathered wings, it would be a dead giveaway if we all walked around displaying them, so we don’t do that.
One day I received a mission from my leader that I was chosen to create the new race of angels because I had earned my rank as the leader of his armies. He told me that my mission entailed making a powerful heavenly angel fall so that she would be cast into a human body and be able to have children. He already had the angel picked out, and I was to do this without error. To this point I had never seen your mother. All I knew was I was seeking out an angel by the name of Evana and that I would be the reason she would fall. Being a loyal and very stupid angel to the worst of all angels, I took the assignment I was given without a choice.
Before I left for the earth to fulfill the task I’d been given, there were a few things I had to take care of. Though angels don’t have marriages, there are some who belong as a pair. In heaven this is a very close relationship that is equivalent to a marriage; however, in hell it is more like owning property. As previously stated, hell’s angels do not feel emotion or love about things, so to belong to someone as a hell’s angel is like you are their property and they are yours. It is surrounded by selfishness, pride, seduction, and darkness rather than love, trust, honesty, and purity, as it is when heavenly angels belong as a pair.
I belonged with another angel named Cheryl before I left hell. When she heard of my assignment and how I was to be with another to create a new race, she was furious. I didn’t care, because I had no feelings for her at all. We were simply a pair because of the status we gained. She did not want to lose me as her property and asked me to promise that I would be back to be with her. Knowing I would risk punishment if I broke the promise, I said nothing. I had every intention of returning, but being the vile creature I was, I had gotten bored with Cheryl. She left, enraged, as she began to swear and threaten that I would regret not making the promise. After leaving my second in command, Damron, in charge, I left for earth without looking back. I knew I could not return until my mission was completed.
When I saw your mother I couldn’t believe my eyes! I never imagined such beauty could exist. The beauty of hell and its beings is breathtaking, but you can always tell there is a darkness that is attached to it. There was no creature in all the world I had come from that had an ounce of the beauty your mother had. Of course, when your mother saw me, she unfurled her great, white, majestic wings as a sign of defense, giving me the message that I needed to back away and leave. But instead of leaving, I just stood right where I was. She came to me, demanding to know what I was doing and why I hadn’t retreated. I couldn’t tell her the truth, but in that moment, looking into her electric-blue eyes I had lost the ability to lie as well. So I told her how I felt in that moment.
I told her I was confused. I told her who I was and the rank I held in hell’s fleet of angels, and I told her how they had sent me on a horrible mission that I didn’t think I could complete. I told her I thought I was cursed because I knew the work I’d been doing for so long was wrong. I don’t know where it all came from or why I had said all of that to her. I hadn’t even realized I’d felt that way. Looking into her eyes made me want to be honest. I knew at that very moment I never wanted to be apart from her. I also knew that being near her was impossible; I was the enemy. I was the opposite of everything she believed in—an abomination to creatures like herself. I also knew I couldn’t go through with my mission.
Over the next several months your mother and I spent a great deal of time together and became very close to developing pecks. I had never felt the sensation before, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was in love with her. I knew no matter what punishment I would receive for it that she was worth it all. At one point she finally admitted that she felt the same as I did. As joyous as it should have been, that is when everything blew up all around us. Up to that point your mother had never admitted this to herself or anyone else. Some who knew her speculated, but that’s all that it was.
Within an instant, at least a dozen angels from heaven and hell surrounded us! I had no idea what was going on. I had already told your mother everything about my mission, and she was certain that other hell’s angels would be convinced I was going through with the mission if they saw us together. What neither of us counted on was some of heaven’s angels keeping a close eye on her to prevent anything from happening to her. They heard every word when she told me she was in love with me and never wanted to leave me.