My intercom buzzed making me jump a mile
and to curse under my breath. “Nate, just hold on one second, someone
’
s at the door.” I went to the door quickly and
pressed the buzzer. “
Hello?
”
“It
’
s me,” Josh announced. I pressed the buzzer quickly to let him up
and flicked the latch on the door so he could let himself in. I couldn
’
t help but be impressed with him for making an
effort for a change, that wasn
’
t
the usual Josh.
I put my cell phone back to my ear. “Nate,
DJ
’
s dad
’
s just turned up. I really need to go, but maybe I could talk to you
later or something?” I offered, mentally crossing my fingers.
“Listen, why don
’
t I just come over to yours later and we can talk when DJ goes to
bed,” he suggested.
That was actually a pretty good idea.
“Okay, yeah, sure. Come over at about eight, he’ll be asleep then.”
“Okay, see you then. Bye.” He disconnected
the call, and I let out a heavy breath. This was going to be a long day. My
eyes were already heavy from having about three hours sleep, and now, on top of
that, I had to stress all day about seeing Nate and what he was going to say.
I wanted to see him so I could apologise
properly, but another part of me was a little reluctant to see him again
because it would just be rubbing it in my face what I maybe could have had if
my life was different. If I hadn
’
t
gotten pregnant at nineteen by a guy who couldn
’
t keep his dick in his pants, and I had met Nate then, maybe things
would have worked out. Maybe in a parallel universe there was another Rosie,
and she got to keep the adorable thoughtful guy who made her smile and feel
like she was alive again. I hope she did, because that made living this life a
little easier.
Josh let himself in and smiled, holding up
DJ
’
s overnight bags.
“Hey, bunny. I
’
ve got everything,” he greeted happily.
I clenched my jaw. “Don
’
t call me that,” I snapped tiredly, ignoring
his little smile of amusement. I motioned towards the lounge. “He
’
s in there if you want to go see him. I
’
m gonna make a coffee,” I mumbled, heading to
the kitchen, needing the caffeine.
~ Nate ~
As soon as I disconnected the call I
tossed my phone onto the table, putting my head in my hands.
I
’
d jumped to conclusions last night, and now I was going to pay for
it. I
’
d honestly thought she was
with that guy, they looked like a proper little family at the hospital, and in
my defence she even
told
me she had a man. So what was I supposed to
think?
I
breathed out heavily
and sat back on the sofa. I
’
d screwed up. She was so incredible, and I
’
d just blown all chances that I had with her. I didn
’
t care that she had a son. I didn
’
t care that she hadn
’
t told me. She
’
d
probably thought it would scare me away.
Never in my wildest dreams had I even
thought about dating a woman who had kids, but now that I knew Rosie had one, I
couldn
’
t bring myself to stop
wanting her. She interested me. I wanted to talk to her about my day and hear
about hers. I wanted to be the one she called if she got scared or needed a
favour
;
I just plain old wanted her.
So she had a kid, which would be something
new, but not
so bad
. Different, but different can
sometimes be great with a little effort – and from what I
’
d seen of her so far she was worth
a lot
of effort.
I needed to talk everything through with
her. Maybe when we spoke, I could convince her to give me another shot.
Or
maybe she
’
ll never want to
see me again…
That thought hurt, so I frowned and
gritted my teeth. I already liked her way too much. All I wanted to do was
drive there now and talk to her and see if there was something I could do to
make it up to her. I even wanted to meet her son and find out if he was as
adorable as she was.
The bedroom door creaked open, but I couldn
’
t bring myself to look up. I was disgusted
with myself. If I
’
d just stopped
to think last night instead of being all super angry and getting wasted, then
maybe I wouldn
’
t be sitting here
wondering if I was going to lose something that could have potentially been the
best thing that had ever happened to me.
“Are you done on the phone? Why don
’
t you come back to bed?” the girl purred. She
was obviously trying to sound sexy and enticing, but it just made me feel
worse. Her voice was nothing like Rosie
’
s, it wasn
’
t soft or
silky, it was just squeaky and high pitched and actually made my ears ring.
I sighed and closed my eyes. “
No. Look, I
’
m sorry, but I
need to leave,” I mumbled, trying to ignore the hangover and tension headache
that was starting to build up behind my eyes.
“Leave? But you said you
’
d be right back.”
I fought the urge to glare at her.
Everything would have been fine if I had just walked out last night and gone
home, if I
’
d just slept it off
instead of doing all of that stuff with the Minnie Mouse understudy.
The girl was still looking at me, waiting
for me to speak, but all I could think about was the fact that she was wearing
my fucking shirt. I needed to leave so I could go and scrub myself roughly in
the shower and try and erase the memories of last night from my brain. I
’
d cheated on Rosie, and it hadn
’
t even been worth it.
I only slept with that girl to get back at Rosie for being with
someone else, and now
it turned out she
hadn
’
t even done what I thought she had.
I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut. I was
so angry with myself that I wanted to smash something.
“
Look, er
…” I racked my brains for her name, but it just wasn
’
t coming to me. Verity or Vanessa? I couldn
’
t just call her Minnie again; I couldn
’
t have her screech at me while my head was
already threatening to explode.
She glared at me venomously. “Vicky!”
“Right, Vicky. Last night was a mistake,
and I
’
m
really
sorry but that
’
s all
there is to it. If I could just get my shirt back that
’
d be great.”
I felt bad for being cold with her but she
knew the score. I
’
d made it clear
to her that this was a one-night stand, and she
’
d taken me home with her anyway.
The girl half screamed, half growled in
frustration and I heard the bedroom door slam shut. A couple of minutes later
she threw my shirt in my face and glared at me.
“Just get the hell out! Go wallow in
self-pity over a girl you can
’
t
have. She won
’
t want you, so you
’
re wasting your time. She
’
s married, so you
’
re
screwed!”
I sighed and pulled the shirt on quickly,
resisting the urge to throw it in the trash because it smelled like sex. I felt
like I was cloaking myself in my shame and the smell made me feel even worse.
“She
’
s not married, I got it wrong. You
’
re right though, I
’
m
totally screwed now,” I muttered sadly, grabbing my shoes before heading out of
her front door without looking back.
When I got outside her building, I leant
against it, taking deep breaths. I felt like a first
-
class
prick. How could I have been so fucking stupid? I groaned and looked at my
watch willing it to be almost eight already. My heart sank when I saw the time.
It wasn
’
t even eleven in the
morning; there were hours and hours left before I could go there and beg for
her forgiveness.
Maybe I
’
d get it. After all, we weren
’
t exclusive. Technically, I hadn
’
t cheated on her. Yes, we
’
d spoken a lot over the phone, but we weren
’
t officially an exclusive couple…
I sighed and shook my head at my own train
of thought. I was just trying to justify sleeping with someone else and make it
sound okay, it
wasn
’
t
okay, so I couldn
’
t pretend that it was. I
’
d done wrong, and I
’
d
have to take the consequences.
Not wanting to sit around for nine hours
wallowing, I decided to go and see a friend and try to take my mind off it for
a while. Ashton wasn
’
t an option.
I couldn
’
t go there and talk his
ear off about cheating on Anna
’
s
best friend. I definitely wouldn
’
t
get any sympathy there, hell, he
’
d
even told me to stay away from Rosie! I groaned and shook my head. Seth, I
’
d go to see Seth.
After I
’
d got a cab to the bar and picked up my car, I went home for a nice
long shower, trying to wash some of the shame away. It didn
’
t work. I didn
’
t bother trying to save my shirt, I just threw it straight in the
trash; I didn
’
t want to be
reminded what a useless prick I was, or how I couldn
’
t keep my dick in my pants long enough to let Rosie explain.
When I was dressed, I headed to Seth
’
s place. I stood outside the door wondering if
I should have called first, there was a good chance he would have someone in
there with him; his latest conquest.
I
knocked on the
door
anyway
, hoping he was there.
He opened the door in his underwear,
looking like he was still half asleep. “Hey, man, what time is it?” he yawned,
running a hand through his hair as he just turned and walked into his apartment
without waiting for me.
I sighed and followed him in, hoping he had
some advice for me even though Seth never was very skilled with dispensing
advice. “It
’
s not even mid-day. I
just wanted to talk to you about something. I
’
ve done something incredibly stupid and I don
’
t know how to fix it.”
He gasped and looked back at me with wide,
horrified eyes. “You got someone pregnant?”
The scared expression on his face was
enough to cheer me up a little. Having a baby was literally Seth
’
s worst nightmare. He would probably never
settle down. Then again, I would have thought the same about myself up until a
couple of weeks ago.
“No, no one
’
s pregnant.
”
He let out a sigh of relief and closed his
eyes, shaking his head slowly. “Well thank fuck for that. Shit, I thought you
’
d ruined your life then!”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”
He threw me a Gatorade and leant against
the kitchen counter
, eyeing me cautiously.
“So what
’
s happened then?”
I groaned at the thought of having to say
this out loud. “You know that girl that I was seeing?”
He nodded, sipping his drink, watching me
expectantly.
“Well it turns out that she has a kid. A
four
-
year
-
old kid.”
Seth literally choked and sprayed
Gatorade
everywhere; I just managed to jump back in time so it didn
’
t go all over me.
“Dude, what the hell? That was gross!” I
cried, looking at the drink all over the counter as I brushed a couple of
spatters off my shirt.
He didn
’
t answer, just looked at me with wide eyes as he wiped his chin with
the back of one hand. “She has a kid? What the hell? How? Who? But… but… how?”
he asked, looking at me in disbelief.
“If you don
’
t know how by now, then I can
’
t help you, buddy, because you
’
ve been doing it wrong for a lot of years
.
”
He frowned and shook his head. “Seriously,
Nate, how?”
I didn
’
t know how
,
exactly. “Some guy got her
pregnant when she was younger, I guess. She
’
s not with him now; she
’
s on her own with the kid.”
“So what did you say when she told you?
Shit, man, I would have run out of there so fast you wouldn
’
t even see me go, it would have been like one
of those cartoons where all you see is the dust that was left behind.”
He grabbed a cloth and started sopping up
the mess from the counter
, while I
proceeded to tell
him everything that happened. How I found out at the hospital and jumped to
conclusions. How I went and got drunk and went home with a famous Disney
character, and how Rosie had called me a little while ago and explained that
she was a single mother.
Seth just stood there watching me with an
open mouth the whole time. When I finished talking, he blew out a big breath
and ran his hand through his hair.
“Wow, sounds like you
’
re better off out of it. You
’
re just lucky you found out now instead of a few more weeks down the
line when she really had her claws in you.”
Had her claws in me, what does that
mean? Did he not listen to a word I said?
“Seth, what are you talking about? I really
like her. I don
’
t care that she
has a kid, I mean, I was pissed last night that she didn
’
t tell me, but it
’
s not
that bad really.” He was totally missing the point. It wasn
’
t that I was venting because she had a kid, I
was venting because I could lose her after what I
’
d done.