“You, combat pants, black T-shirt. Stand
now!” I repeated, pointing at him with my free hand so he knew I was talking to
him.
The crowd
were suddenly
staring at me, each person frozen in horror at the
realisation their ordeal was not yet over.
The guy
’
s eyes moved from me to the girl sitting next
to him. Before I could do anything, he dived behind her and wrapped his arm
around her throat, using her for cover as he pressed a gun to her head.
Fuck it!
He jerked her to her feet, moving behind
her, using her like a shield.
“Back off! If you don
’
t put your gun down then I
’
m killing her!” he screamed, pressing the gun to her head tighter,
making her wail and beg for help. “
Shut up!
” he barked.
“Take it easy there, buddy. It
’
s all good. Just put your gun down and I won
’
t have to kill you
.
”
“Move back! Where
’
s the damn helicopter?” he screamed, spit flying from his mouth as
he jerked the girl backwards, trying to get away from me. The girl’s hands were
clamped around his arm as her face slowly turned red where she couldn
’
t breathe properly. Her eyes were wide and
terrified as she begged me silently for help.
“Last chance,” I said, closing one eye,
lining up my shot. “Let the girl go. Now!”
He made an angry growl sound as his arm
tightened on her neck. She made a strangled gargle and the sound made my finger
squeeze the trigger.
The bullet went straight through his eye.
Blood splattered across the hostage’
s
face. The force
of the shot threw him backwards, pulling the woman down on top of him. She let
out a piercing scream as I ran forward, gun still raised. She was thrashing
trying to get his arm off her. I looked down at him; there was no chance he was
still alive, that was a classic kill shot.
I reached down and grabbed her arm, yanking
her to her feet. She immediately threw her arms around my neck almost choking
me, as she sobbed hysterically, mumbling thank you over and over again.
“It
’
s okay, ma
’
am. You
’
re safe now. Everything
’
s alright,” I soothed, as I stroked her back and pulled her away
from the dead body. Her legs gave out, so I slipped my arm around her to hold
her up. “Jacob, secure all hostiles while I take her to the medic,” I
instructed, pulling her into my arms and carrying her out of the building with
her still clinging to me.
“Thank you. Oh God, thank you!”
she sobbed.
“It
’
s okay now, you
’
re
fine. They
’
ll check you out but
you
’
re fine,
”
I said softly as I carried her over to the medics, sitting her on a gurney.
“You saved my life,” she gushed, looking at
me gratefully. I smiled and went to pull back, but she grabbed my hand. “Don
’t leave me!
”
I sighed and nodded, sitting on the side of
the medic van while they checked her over. After about ten minutes she was
given the all clear to sit up. Once at the hospital she would be monitored for
shock, as was the usual procedure for up-close hostages like her. She had calmed
down now and was no longer crying. She was looking at me like I was some sort
of God or something.
“Thank you, Officer…” she trailed off,
looking at me expectantly.
“Peters.” I really wanted to go. I just
needed five minutes on my own to process what had happened. I
’
d just killed two people so I needed to take a
few deep breaths in private.
She smiled. “I
’
m Christina.”
“It
’
s nice to meet you, Christina. I
’
m really sorry, but I have to go. I have a lot of reports and stuff
I have to fill out about the incident,” I excused myself, standing up.
Christina
frowned. “Do you think maybe we
could meet up and I could buy you a drink or dinner? To, you know, say thanks?”
she asked, looking at me hopefully.
Oh shit. How did I not see this coming?
Attachment disorder. Latching on to the officer that saves you.
Classic.
“You don
’
t need to thank me, ma
’
am.
It
’
s my job,” I replied, stepping
away.
It was the uniform, definitely the uniform
that got the girls!
“Well, how about I just buy you a drink
because I want to then?” she offered.
I smiled uncomfortably. “I
’
m sorry, ma
’
am, but I have a girlfriend, so that can
’
t happen.
”
She frowned, looking extremely disappointed,
and I couldn
’
t help but think
about what would have happened if I hadn
’
t met Rosie.
“She
’
s a lucky girl,” she said quietly.
I shook my head at that statement. “No, she
’
s not. I
’
m the lucky one,” I said honestly. “Be safe, ma
’
am.” I turned before she could flirt with me some more, and headed
over to the group of agents that were leading the perpetrators out of the
building, and into the waiting reinforced police vehicles, ready to take them
to the station.
Captain Elder gripped my shoulder. “Good
work there, Peters. That was an excellent
save
.”
I smiled weakly, pretending like I didn
’
t feel like a pile of shit inside. He was
congratulating me for taking a life;
sure, it had been necessary, but it was still two people that were
now dead because of me.
“Thanks, sir. Shall I go back and fill out
my reports?” I asked, looking at the car hopefully. I really wanted to be away
from here; I didn
’
t want to be
here when they carried the two bodies out of the building. I hated to see body
bags.
“Yeah, usual thing, Nate. Fill out your
reports then you can take the rest of the day off,” he replied, nodding.
I headed to the nearest squad car, hitching
a lift back to the station. It took me an hour to go through my statement of
events, sign my reports, and turn in my gun for inspection. This was all just
formality. I would be back at work tomorrow and would get a pat on the back for
a job well done. This was all just bullshit paperwork.
Once all my reports were filed, I headed
into the changing rooms. As soon as I was on my own, I started to think about
it again. I sat down on the bench and put my head in my hands, playing it over
and over in my head.
Did I do the right thing? Was there another
shot I could have taken instead of the kill shot? Was there someone in a better
position than me? Could I have waited for someone to reposition so that they
could take him out without having to kill him?
I watched it play out in slow motion in my
head, how the bullet had gone into his eye, how blood had splattered on the
hostage
’
s face as she screamed and
cried, how his body had gone limp before he fell to the floor.
I couldn
’
t see a single thing I did wrong, there was nothing I could have
done differently, and there was no way I could have saved either of the lives I
took today. It wasn
’
t my fault.
Even as I thought it, I couldn
’
t make myself believe it; the guilt of it was
eating me up. I needed to stop thinking about it. I needed something to take my
mind off it. I desperately needed to speak to Rosie. Usually the first thing I
would think about after a kill was either getting drunk or getting laid, or
both in either order, but today all I wanted was to hear Rosie
’
s voice.
Russell walked out of the shower with a
towel draped around his waist. He smiled and I forced a fake smile in return,
standing and grabbing a towel from the side, heading into the shower. I just
stood there, letting the spray jet down across my shoulders while I pictured
Rosie
’
s face, trying to block out
the wild expression on the target
’
s
face as he tried to look for an exit. I imagined Rosie
’
s laugh, trying to block out the screams and pleas of the hostage,
begging me to help her.
I have no idea how long I stood there for,
but Russell poked his head around the corner, fully dressed so I must have been
in here for a little while at least. “Nate, want to come for a beer?”
I shook my head. “No thanks, Rus. What
’
s the time?” I asked, rinsing my hair under
the spray.
“Twenty past two.”
Rosie finished work in an hour and ten
minutes.
“Okay, thanks. See you tomorrow,” I called,
turning my back on him, not wanting to talk to anyone right now. When I heard
the shower room door close, I turned off the water and got out.
When I got back to my apartment, I sighed
and flopped down onto the sofa, staring at the clock, willing the second hand
to go faster so I could call Rosie and make myself feel better. I needed her
desperately. I wanted her to hold me and tell me everything was alright and
that I
’
d done the right thing.
That couldn
’
t happen for a while
though; she had DJ, so I
’
d just
have to settle for a call for now, and then see her tonight for that hug. Eight
o
’
clock seemed like an age away.
~ Rosie ~
‘Runaway Baby’ by Bruno Mars started
blasting from my purse, and I smiled, knowing that was Nate’s song that I put
on there for him. I grabbed my cell phone, wondering why he was calling at this
time; it was only twenty to four.
“Hey you, what are you doing calling me
this early? Shouldn
’
t you be at
work?” I asked, stopping at the edge of the road and smiling at DJ as he
pressed the button for the crossing, tapping it over and over.
“Hey, Rose. Yeah, I should be, but I got
sent home early,” Nate answered. Butterflies swooped in my stomach when he
called me Rose.
“You did? How come?” I asked as DJ skipped
along at my side, swinging my hand back and forth.
“Er, it
’
s just a formality. It happens every time I-” he stopped talking
abruptly. “Nothing, actually just forget it. I just called to say hi. How was
school today?” Nate asked, changing the subject.
As he spoke, I noticed that he
sounded
off
. He
’
d made no
jokes, no slutty comments, no flirting or pet names – something was wrong with
him.
“
A formality for
what?” I chewed my lip,
waiting for an answer.
He sighed, and there was a couple of
seconds of silence before he spoke. “I killed two people today. I got sent home
while they investigate.”
I
was speechless.
He
’
d told me before that this was the worst part
of his job. I had no idea how to make him feel better.
I looked down at DJ; I needed to see Nate and make sure he was
alright; I couldn
’
t let him be sad
on his own. What I was about to do scared the hell out of me, but I needed to
do it, I didn
’
t have any other
choice.
“I
’
m sorry, Nate,” I mumbled honestly.
“Yeah, it
’
s okay.” He laughed humourlessly. The sound of his hollow laughter
made me feel even worse.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and knew
that I needed to take a risk for once in my life. Nate Peters was worth taking
a risk on.
“How about you come to mine earlier for dinner
tonight,” I offered. “It might take your mind off it for a little while.”
Part of me was hoping he
’
d say no. If he did then I wouldn
’
t have to let him into DJ
’
s life, this still felt like it was way too soon for me, way too
soon for DJ. I
’
d only been dating
Nate
for five weeks, there was
every
chance this
wouldn
’
t work out. But I
couldn’t not be there for him.
I
had
to try and help
him if he was sad.
“Yeah? Where
’
s DJ going? Josh got him or something?” he repli
ed
.
“Umm, no, DJ will be there too.” I gritted
my teeth, hoping he wouldn
’
t run a
mile. He
’
d already asked to meet
my son, of course, but part of me wondered if he was just asking knowing that I
’
d refuse so that he
’
d gain brownie points.
He
took a deep breath
, and my heart stopped.
This is where he dumps me. Five perfect
weeks of happiness with the hot, sweet, funny guy is all I get because I came
on too strong. Great job, Rosie!
“Holy shit, really? I get to meet DJ now,
that
’
s really alright with you?”
I looked down at DJ and he smiled up at me
happily as he continued to skip along at my side. I smiled back, trying to hide
my nerves. “Yeah, if you want to,” I
answered
, unsure
of myself.
“Rose, I
’
d love to.” His voice was so much happier that it made my heart
start back up again in double time. He wasn
’
t running anywhere, at least, not yet.
“We
’
re only having chicken nuggets and fries though, nothing exciting.”
I wrinkled my nose. It was typical that this happened on the one day I agreed
with DJ that we could have junk food for dinner.
“Sounds awesome. What time shall I come
over?”
“We
’
re just walking home now. We
’
ll be home just before four, so you can come over any time you
want.”
“I
’
ll be there at five past four,” Nate said quickly.
I laughed at his eagerness. “Hold on there,
speedy. How about you leave it until quarter past, that way I
’
ll have time to get him changed.” That wasn
’
t exactly the only reason I wanted a few more
minutes. I
’
d need a minute or two
to run a brush through my hair considering he
’
d turn up looking like a male model the same as always.
“Okay. Want me to bring anything?” he
offered.
“Just you.”
“
Great. Well, I
’
ll see you in a bit then. Thanks, Stripes.”
“Sure. See you then.” I disconnected the
call, praying I hadn
’
t just made
the worst mistake of my life by inviting him into DJ
’
s life.
DJ smiled up at me, and my heart melted at
how cute my boy was.
“A friend of mine
’
s coming over for dinner with us tonight,” I informed him, trying to
cover up the nerves and all around terror that I felt inside.
What if DJ didn
’
t like Nate? What if he hated him and I was forced to break it off
with Nate because my son couldn
’
t
accept him? What if Nate hated DJ? Oh God, why had I done this?
“
Auntie Anna?
” DJ asked excitedly.
I shook my head apologetically. “No, Baby;
a new friend of mine. His name
’
s
Nate.”
He frowned, obviously disappointed. “Oh
okays,” he muttered, pouting.
“We
’
ll go see Anna next week if you want,” I suggested, needing to get
him in a good mood again for dinner. He nodded eagerly, and I looked at him
warningly. “You
’
ll be good at
dinner though, right? Eat nicely and stuff? We don
’
t want Nate to think we
’
re a pair of piglets do we?” I teased, trying to make it sound more
like a joke as I squeezed his hand gently.
By the time we got home I was so nervous
and scared that I felt slightly sick. Dashing into my bedroom, I brushed my
hair and applied a quick coat of mascara and some lip gloss. I groaned quietly,
knowing I needed to do a lot more to look like I was worthy of Nate
’
s attention. What he saw in me I had no idea.
The guy was so incredibly handsome, yet for some unknown reason he liked me
when he should have really been dating a
baggage-free
swimwear
model instead of a single mother.
I just had time to change DJ out of his paint
-
covered day-care clothes before the intercom buzzed. I practically
skipped to the door, throwing a pleading look in DJ
’
s direction as I pressed the button to let Nate up.
“DJ, please be good for me, okay?”
“I will, Momma,” he confirmed, his eyes not
leaving the TV.
I pulled the door open, flicking the latch
so I didn
’
t get locked out, and
stepped into the hallway. When Nate got to the top of the stairs, I swooned
internally. He was just in jeans and a black T-shirt, but it looked like it was
made for him. The beautiful grin that stretched across his face made my heart
stutter.
He stopped in front of me and raised his
hand, cupping the side of my neck as his thumb traced my cheekbone.
“Hi,” I whispered breathlessly.
His mouth inched towards mine
.
I wanted to throw myself at him, wrap my arms around his neck and
crush my body to his as I kissed the life out of him. Instead, I stayed still
as he pressed his lips to mine for a split second before pulling back smiling
his sexy, cocky little smile, as if he knew what I was thinking.
“Hi.” He grinned and kissed my forehead
lightly before looking at me curiously. “You
’
re sure this is okay? I don
’
t mind if you need more time, just the fact that you
’
ve asked me means a lot to me,” he said
softly, his blue eyes burning into mine as if he was trying to drag the truth
from them.
“I
’m sure,
” I lied, trying to sound more confident than I felt. Now that he
was here though, it actually felt like the right thing to do. Only time would
tell if this was a mistake. There was nothing I could do about it now, except
pray that he didn
’
t break both
mine and my little boy
’
s hearts.
His grin widened as his hand moved from my
neck, tracing down my arm until he got to my hand. He interlaced our fingers
before pulling my hand up and kissing my knuckles softly. My heart raced in my
chest.
“Nate, I told him we were friends. I just
don
’
t want him to freak out about
you or anything. I hope that
’
s
alright with you. I just don
’
t
want to throw too much at him in one go,” I said, looking at him
apologetically.
“Sure, whatever you want.” He let go of my
hand, the adorable smile still plastered on his face.
I smiled and stepped forward, pressing my
lips to his again for a couple of seconds, pulling away before I wouldn
’
t be able to. His kisses were addictive. I
always felt a little like I needed a fix when I hadn
’
t seen him for a little while.
“Are you okay? You sounded so sad on the
phone,” I whispered, stroking my hand on his chest.
“I
’
m fine now that I
’
m
here. Thank you for inviting me,” he answered, looking at me so gratefully that
it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
“You
’
re very welcome. Come on then, and play nice,” I teased, as I headed
inside.
As we walked into the lounge, I looked back
at Nate. For some reason, he actually looked incredibly nervous. I wanted to
take his hand and reassure him, but my first priority was my son. Nate was a
big boy; he could take care of himself. Pretending that we were friends for a
little while so they could get to know each other would be better for DJ in the
long run.
DJ was still watching TV in the same exact
spot. “DJ?” I called, waiting until he looked at me before I spoke again. “This
is my friend Nate who
’
s having
dinner with us tonight.” Gritting my teeth, I waited for his reaction.
Please
don
’
t throw a fit or
something because I really like him. He makes Momma happy, DJ, please like him!
“Hi,” DJ answered, smiling as he looked
Nate over. “We
’
re having my
favourite dinner tonight.” He
beamed
happily.
Nate stepped forward, his shoulders a
little stiffer than normal, his usual cocky and relaxed demeanour was gone.
“Yeah? What are we having?” he asked, cocking his head to the side, smiling.
“Nuggets and alphabetti pasghetti,” DJ chirped.
I smiled to myself that he still couldn
’
t say that word properly.
Nate gasped. “That
’
s
your
favourite?
That
’
s
my
favourite!
” he replied excitedly, playing
along as DJ
’
s eyes widened. “Do
you like chocolate cake too?” Nate asked. DJ nodded, licking his lips. “Well
that
’
s great because I bought a
cake for dessert, so now I
’
ll have
someone to share it with.”
Dropping my eyes down to his hand, I saw a
grocery bag that I hadn
’
t even
noticed
in my eagerness to kiss him
.
“You brought a chocolate cake?” DJ cried,
bouncing on the sofa with excitement.