Everything I want: Will Alfie and Lily's love survive?... (31 page)

Lennon’s narrowed eyes flicked to Cody, and he scowled at him. His face was ashen, and his jaw ticked. I could see whatever it was, wasn’t going to be good
news.

Cody scratched the back of his head and stood up. “Come over here, honey.” He pulled me down beside him at the table and pulled his laptop open. It was on a blog page the official reporter was running about the Crakt Soundzz
tour.

As my eyes fell on the webpage I realized instantly what Lennon was at pains to hide from me. Alfie was sitting smiling surrounded by the band. He looked very relaxed and happy. He didn’t appear to be missing me at
all.

There was a pretty, tall blonde in a black skimpy dress sitting on his lap holding a glass of wine. It looked like her other hand was tangled in the back of his hair. Alfie’s hand was resting on her hip near her ass, and they looked really cozy toge
ther.

Chapter 31
– Testosterone

S
taring at the pictures, I could see that there were about forty new ones posted since we’d left the tour. There was a common theme in them though. All of the ones of Alfie contained A
lice.

She was either in the background, or he was sitting with her. This one Cody showed me was by far the most damning. Alfie looked like he was having the time of his life. Elle was sitting smiling in one of them as well, and I felt completely betrayed by
her.

When I started reading some of the blurb the reporter had written, judging by this guy’s account, the tour had livened up since we’d left and Bubble Card had taken over. Alice was a hit with the reporter apparently, he had mentioned her in almost every article, either by way of being in Alfie’s presence or from some antic she had pulled on s
tage.

My heart was thumping in my chest, and I felt sick. No wonder he wasn’t contacting me, he looked like he had his hands full. Glancing up at Cody with tears brimming, the look of sympathy on his face was almost too
much.

He swatted beside me to sit beside me, pulling me tight to his chest. “Sorry, babe.” It wasn’t so much what he said, as the way he said it, and the look of pity when he let me go made me feel like a
fool.

Swallowing hard, my spit stuck in my throat. I stood up and pushed Cody away, suddenly feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I was feeling panicked. Stricken by how comfortable she seemed on his lap and that Alfie was happy for her to be there in the first place. It came as a massive shock to me. I was so dumbstruck by the whole thing by then. Alfie and I had been great until the night before I left, and then everything seemed to go to
shit.

My eyes widened as panic gripped me, and I stood up to find my phone. “The letter,” I stated. Lennon looked conf
used.

“The letter?” he repeated. I started to pull out my cell, and Cody swiped it away from me. “Don’t Lily. Think about
this.”

Sniffing and staring back at Cody, I commented, “I’m not calling him again, Cody. I want my fucking letter back. I gave it to Jerry to take to London. I don’t want him to have it
now.”

Cody gave me back my cell, and I called Jerry, Kieron’s PA, and asked him to shred the letter instead of passing it on. Still talking, I walked back in the direction of my bed and climbe
d in.

Overwhelmed with grief, I knew I wouldn’t be able to function, so I felt I needed space. How could he treat me like this after everything we’ve been thr
ough?

Cody pulled my curtain back and started to squeeze into my cubby beside me. “What the fuck, Cody?” I sniffed, blowing my nose on a sock I’d left on my bed, because I had no ti
ssue.

“You need a hug,” he stated. He shuffled up alongside me, and scooped me into his strong arms. He smelled of his expensive bodywash, coffee, and caramel. I melded into his chest and cried harder. Cody was a great support just lying beside me kissing my head and rubbing my back, allowing me to let all my pent up feelings loose. He was right, I had needed a
hug.

Lennon called out, “Cody where in the hell did yo
u go?”

Cody’s arms tensed, and he relaxed. “I’m in here with Lily,
dude.”

Lennon pulled my curtain aside. “Get the fuck out.” Lennon was really a
ngry.

Cody tensed again and he exhaled loudly, “What the fuck is your problem, Lenny? Can’t you see the girl’s u
pset?”

Lennon smacked Cody’s foot. “Out here, now, before I drag you out.” I started to sit up, worried about Lennon’s rapidly escalating te
mper.

Cody pulled me back into his arms. “Lennon thinks I have designs on you, Lily. He thinks he’s the only one of us who’s allowed to comfort you when you’re not h
appy.”

I scooted down the bed and dropped out the end to stand directly in front of him. “He wasn’t doing anything wrong,” I said qui
etly.

Cody had made his way out and straightened the leg of his sweat pants that had ridden up. “You know what, Lennon, I’ve been around Lily for over a year now and I’ve never touched her. Or made her feel uncomfortable, have I
Lily?”

We must have had the same thought about the time he slept in my bed after a drunken night out when we all ended up at Lennon’s place. He smirked. “Okay, once, but that was only because of your sleeping habits dude.” He chuckled to himself, then squared up to Lennon and tried to get his point across a
gain.

“What I’m saying is, maybe I should make a play for Lily. I’d make her much happier than the fucker in those pictures, letting women drape themselves all over him.” I almost defended Alfie. He wasn’t someone that did that, but the evidence seemed clear from the pictures that he’d changed his stance on
that.

Lennon crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Yeah, Cody, and I’d beat your ass if you tried. She doesn’t need any more complications to add to what she’s already trying to deal with.” I stood there listening to the guys talking about me as if I wasn’t even t
here.

I was beginning to understand the concept, “Everyone wanting a piece of you.” Alfie had wanted me with him, Lennon wanted me for the band, and Cody, according to Lennon, wanted me in another way
too.

It made me sick to think that everyone had their own agenda for being with me. I had never really thought about it before, but no one seemed to want me just for being me, apart from Alfie, and now it was too late to think about
that.

“You know guys, when this tour is done… I’m taking some time off on my own. As soon as we’ve had Elle and Drew’s wedding, I’m taking a month off. Sorry if that doesn’t fit with the plans for the band, but I need to deal with some personal stuff before I can go for
ward.”

Lennon turned and punched Cody on the arm. “I fucking warned you this would happen,” he spat, shoulder barging past him and headed back down the st
airs.

Cody looked hurt. “I wasn’t making a play for you, Lily, I wouldn’t, but he pisses me off, making decisions for me as to whom I’m allowed to talk to. What matters to me, Lily, is that you know there was no hidden reason why I came to comfort you, other than I knew you were hurting, h
oney.”

Nodding, I did know that. So I stepped in, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I felt that Cody. I’m sorry Lennon can’t see that you always offer support to me without expecting anything in re
turn.”

Cody smiled. “That’s okay, Lily, it doesn’t matter to me as long as you have the right idea about why I do it.” I pushed myself up on tip-toe and kissed Cody’s c
heek.

“Thanks Cody, you have always supported me. There are times when I wouldn’t have been able to do this if it wasn’t for you. I can’t tell you how much your words have meant to me, every time we’ve waited to get out there on stage. Keep doing what you do for me, if I don’t like it, I’ll tell you to stop, not Lennon. Don’t worry about him by the way. I’m going to talk to him about all of
this.”

Cody squeezed my shoulder and crawled into his cubby, pulling the curtain closed. I went downstairs to seek Lennon out. “I need a word Lennon.” Turning my back on him, I walked to the small private space in the
bus.

Digs was playing ‘Call of Duty’ on the gaming box. He looked at me and smiled, and his face froze when he saw that I had been crying. “Shit Lily, what’s w
rong?”

I smiled in reassurance. “I’m fine, Digs, but would you mind if I had a private word with Lennon in here. Shawn and some of the support guys are sitting out front, and I don’t want anyone eavesdropping on my conversa
tion.”

Digs hit pause on the game and kissed my cheek before stepping out and leaving us alone. “You need to stop doing this Lennon. It’s really not fair to
Cody.”

Lennon’s eyes flicked up to mine. “I’m tired of the way that Cody eye fucks you, but acts all inno
cent.”

I sighed; this was becoming too difficult. “Lennon, Cody has always supported me. You’ve usually been too uptight before a gig to notice that’s all. Did you know that every time we go on stage Cody holds my hand and gives me words of encouragement that help get me out there?” Lennon stared widely at me, but said nothing. “I thought
not.”

Exhaling heavily, I explained further, “You need to cut him some slack. It isn’t fair to put that on him. I’m not with any of you guys. You are all like brothers to me, but you need to stop fighting like this. Especially, when I’m the problem. You are proving Digs right, maybe there shouldn’t be a girl in the
band.”

I sat down beside Lennon and took his face in my hands. “This stops now, Lennon. I want you to apologize to Cody, and no more comments about his feelings abou
t me.”

Lennon shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, Lily. Have it your
way.”

My cell buzzed for the first time in five days, and my attention was immediately diverted to it. I walked away from Lennon to get some space. My heart was pounding in my chest as I expected to see a text from Alfie, but it was from
Rick.

Rick Fars: Ready for dinner? B ready in ten limo is out f
ront.

Shit! I’d forgotten all about dinner. I wasn’t ready at all. Running up to my trunk, I pulled out a silver grey dress that was a godsend. It was my pull-on-and-run dress made of that magic material I didn’t need to iron and it never crushed. The only thing was, it was figure hugging and not forgiving, but with my slender frame it fit perfectly o
n me.

Spraying my hair with product, I scrunched up my curls. My hair looked wild but then again, it hung just right. So with a little mascara and lip gloss, some moisturizer and a little dab of perfume, I headed
out.

Lennon scowled at me. I couldn’t blame him really. One minute they were all fighting over me, the next I was running out the door to meet a rock star for dinner and leaving them behind to fe
ster.

Rick smelled freshly showered and was wearing expensive aftershave when I stepped into the limo. “Hey, Lily, it’s great to see you.” He smiled and took my hand guiding me to the seat next to
him.

Being so well-known, Rick’s PA had arranged for us to have dinner at a restaurant he’d been to every time he was in Strasburg that offered discreet dining for celebrities. We’d been back in France for two days again, and I felt like I’d been going around in circles, having been here only five days earlier with Crakt Sou
ndzz.

The restaurant was opulent looking. Dark, ruby red flocked wallpaper walls, oversized gilt mirrors, and crystal chandeliers were everywhere. The ceilings were high with intricate plaster borders and ceiling molds, decorated with gold leaf paint. The heavy period features made the place reek of ‘old m
oney.’

“I fancied fondue, is that okay for you?” Rick asked explaining his choice of restau
rant.

I loved fondue. “Of course, it will be a treat after the past few days of pizza, pasta, and fried chicken on the
bus.”

I grinned at Rick, feeling a little nervous, and unfolded the crisp white napkin, flicking it across my left knee. Rick was more than impressed when I ordered in French. I had studied it in school and spent a term at a Swiss finishing school, where all our lessons were conducted in Fr
ench.

“Is there anything you can’t do?” Rick smirked and drew his forefinger across my cheek. I blushed, feeling a little uncomfortable at his familiarity. He noticed my flush and grinned. “Damn, you’re way too innocent for me, Lily.” I didn’t know how to respond. So I sat still saying nothing. “So…tell me how you think the tour is going,
Lily.”

I smiled widely, this was a safe subject. “Well, I think we’re doing okay. The fans seemed to have accepted us. It’s hard when we have to get out there and play to a bunch of people that aren’t really there to hear us, but I think we’re holding our own.” He was nodding while I was talking, and his lips were curved into a slight s
mile.

“We’re impressed with you guys. You’re much more polished than Bubble Card.” He pursed his lips like he was thinking. “I’d definitely have you guys as our support next time.” He was looking at me like he meant it as
well.

“Anyway, Lily, what’s wrong? I have a feeling that something isn’t right with you.” Rick was perceptive as well as smart. I wasn’t sure that I could share what was really wrong with me though, he was my boss in a
way.

“Oh it’s just stuff,” I said, trying to sound kind of care
free.

“Nah, I don’t want bullshit, it’s that fucker Alfie isn’t it?” I shrugged not really able to avoid speaking to him about it now. “I’m just really confused about him.” Rick leaned over and placed his hand on top of
mine.