Expecting the Rancher's Child (Callahan's Clan) (11 page)

“Oh, no. She would never do that.”

“Well, then. I’d think you’d be a lot happier without a wife. Stop and think about it. With your way with the ladies and your money and success—most women would be screaming for marriage. They would be running to get a preacher before the words were out of your mouth. Be glad, my brother. Besides, she could be right, you know. If the two of you are opposites, why tie your lives more closely together? You can still be a dad, and she’ll still be a mom, and each of you will find love with someone else.”

“Why did I tell you about this?” Blake asked, frowning at Cade.

“To get some sound advice. Seriously, think about what she’s telling you. You may be much better off without her in your life. She’s sharing your child, letting you be dad, and that’s good. An unhappy marriage isn’t great for a kid to grow up watching. I can promise you that because I was caught in one—a little kid doesn’t understand. I’d say you’ve got good advice, so go with it.”

“Well, I’ll think about what you and Sierra are telling me, but I think I came to the wrong person. You’re warped.”

“Yes, because of my father’s lousy marriages. Need I say more? That proves my point.”

“All right, I’ll think about it. I don’t have a choice. She seems to have her mind made up,” he said, looking at Cade and thinking about how cynical and hard he could be about some things in life. Usually he was easygoing, friendly and upbeat, but he had another side, too. Was it because of their dad? Was Sierra right that they could never make a marriage work?

Cade stared intently at him.

“What?” Blake asked. “Did you say something to me? Sorry, my mind wandered.”

“Watch out when you cross the street. If you’re that lost in thought about her, you’ll get run over.”

“I’m not going to get run over, and I’m not lost in thought about Sierra.”

“You were a minute ago. You haven’t fallen in love with her, have you?”

“No, I’m not in love, but that wouldn’t be the end of the world.”

“No, but if you’ve fallen in love, then you won’t be able to cope very well with her rejection. Otherwise, live your life, love your child and don’t look back. A lot of guys would trade with you in a flash.”

“You’re just Mr. Wisdom. I may go to a gypsy fortune-teller for advice next time.”

Cade grinned. “I’m more interesting, and I know you better. You didn’t even hear what I asked you, so maybe you’re in love and you don’t know it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’d know it.”

“You’ve got the symptoms. You’re lost in a fog. You didn’t eat your lunch. You’re thinking constantly about her. If you’re in love, then that’s a whole different disease with different symptoms and a different cure.”

“Sometimes I wonder why I talk to you. Under the same circumstances, wouldn’t you think constantly about the woman you got pregnant?”

“Sure. Seriously, Blake, reconsider pushing that proposal. You’ll get time with your child, and you will be a lot happier.”

“You can’t rescind a proposal,” Blake remarked dryly. “I need to get back to work.”

“Okay, bro. Take it easy and come see me. I’ll drop by soon to see the new wing. Congratulations on the baby. That’s exciting news. Nate’s little girl is a doll. I’m scared to pick her up, but she’s a cutie. With your baby, I’m going to be a half uncle—how’s that?”

“You’ll be a full uncle. Wait until I ask you to come help.”

“Call someone else. That’s not my field.”

“No kidding,” Blake remarked, shaking his head as they walked out together and parted outside. “The party may not happen until after I’m a dad,” he called over his shoulder.

He left Cade and drove back to his office on the fourth floor of a building he owned, away from downtown Dallas.

He needed to give some thought to several things. One was his true feelings for Sierra. He wasn’t in love. Were Sierra and Cade right—that the baby would be better off if he and Sierra didn’t marry? If that was true, then he should back off and drop his proposal.

After considering it for the next hour, he still thought marriage was the best solution. They could make it work without love. Why wouldn’t Sierra give it a chance? He didn’t want to examine why the idea of coming home to her as his wife appealed to him.

For the rest of the day, he thought about the baby, Sierra, Cade and the future—and he continued to debate with himself about his marriage proposal. Tomorrow, they would all look at his new wing, and if everything was satisfactory, Sierra, Lucinda and Eli would be done. As far as his relationship with Sierra went, when she left it wouldn’t be goodbye. Even if they didn’t marry, they would see each other and their lives would be intertwined for years to come.

It was difficult to see how it would be better without marriage, yet both Sierra and Cade thought so.

Anger persisted when he thought how stubborn she was over this issue. She told him to take his time and think about it, but she didn’t seem open to thinking about it herself.

This pregnancy was something neither of them had expected, and now they had to work it out some way. He just knew he would be there for his child.

The one thing he wouldn’t consider was the question Cade had asked: Was Blake in love with the mother of his child?

* * *

On Saturday morning, Sierra dressed in navy slacks and a white silk blouse. Brushing her hair, she let it fall loosely over her shoulders. Eli and Lucinda had flown into Dallas earlier and picked her up on the way to the ranch. She’d be going with the others, the contractor and a photographer Eli was bringing, so she wouldn’t be alone with Blake, which suited her. She was certain he hadn’t changed his mind, and neither had she.

At his ranch, he opened the wide front door to welcome them all inside.

At the sight of him in jeans and a black knit shirt, she wished she didn’t have the same breathless reaction she’d always had. He stepped back. “Come in,” he said.

After greeting everyone, Blake stood talking to Eli and motioned to them. “We’ll go look at the new wing that all of you have worked on. It’s exactly what I hoped I would get—a fantastic addition to my house, and something I could never have come up with on my own. Let’s look at all your work.”

They entered the open living area with its ceiling that was two stories high. The remaining walls were off-white so the artwork would stand out. The painting over the mantle was an early David Hockney that Eli had managed to find. It was one of Blake’s favorites.

Sierra thought the room was beautiful—sleek lines in the furniture, minimal clutter and so different from the rest of the house. Blake sounded sincerely happy and enormously pleased with the finished wing.

As she looked at him, she felt another pang. She wouldn’t let herself think of possibilities, wishes that couldn’t happen. She wanted love in her marriage, and she didn’t think a union without love would benefit their baby, no matter what Blake said.

She missed him, and she wanted to finish this tour, tell him goodbye and start trying to get over him. She needed to get to the point where she could deal with him without it tearing her apart.

As she looked at him, he turned and his gaze locked with hers. Again, she experienced that sizzling current taking her breath. She didn’t want to feel it or be held in his mesmerizing gaze. But she was, this time like all the others.

She turned her back to him and moved with the group to the next room. Why, oh, why, did he hold such a volatile attraction for her? They were worlds apart, and a baby wasn’t going to pull them together. As far as she could see, marriage would just make things worse.

The last time she was home, she had talked with her mother first and then both parents, and they had agreed with her that marriage without love would be disastrous.

She would have felt better about her decision upon hearing their agreement, except she was certain they would support her in whatever she decided. If she had said she was marrying Blake even though they were not in love, she felt she would have had the same approval from them.

Her sisters were divided on the subject, and her brothers pushed her to marry Blake, but all of them would stand by whatever decision she made, and they would welcome her baby the same as they had all the other children in the family. She already had toys and baby clothes, presents from her family.

When they entered Blake’s bedroom, she spent time studying the art, avoiding looking at the king-size bed because it would stir memories of being with Blake, even though it had been in his other bedroom. She wanted out of his house, to get away from the ranch and back to her own world in Kansas, doing the work she loved—and beginning to get over her time with Blake Callahan.

Finally, the tour was over. Wendell served trays of delicious-looking food, and the dining room table held more trays and platters. Since she had come with Eli and Lucinda, she would have to stay until they left, so she drifted around, trying to keep away from Blake, wanting to avoid talking to him.

But then he appeared in front of her. “You don’t have anything to drink. We have orange juice, tomato juice, iced tea—all kinds of drinks. Can I get you something?”

“I’m fine, Blake.”

“If you’ll stay, I’ll get you home later and we can talk.”

She gazed into brown eyes that hid his feelings. “Thanks, but I have a plane to catch, and I don’t think we have anything else to say to each other at this point in time. I still feel the same as I did when we last talked.”

“We still might try to work things out.”

“We have months to figure things out. I’m not staying.”

She could feel the clash between them. Nothing showed in his expression, but she was certain he wasn’t pleased. She turned and walked away, stepping into the kitchen to see if Etta was there. Sierra wanted to say hello and compliment her on the food.

“We’ll miss you here,” Etta said. “You come back.” She patted Sierra’s arm. “His rooms are wonderful.”

“Thank you. A lot of people worked on them.”

“Take care of yourself.”

“Thanks, Etta,” she said, surprised by the last. She couldn’t imagine Blake had said anything to Wendell or Etta about the baby, but she couldn’t recall Etta saying that to her before.

Finally, Lucinda asked if she was ready to leave, and fifteen minutes later she stepped to the door and turned to Blake.

“I’m sure we’ll be in touch.”

“Sierra, the new wing surpassed all my hopes and expectations. Eli and Lucinda are very talented. You’ve got a wonderful eye. Everything in the new wing is perfect. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, thinking how polite they were being with each other. She was aware that Lucinda and a few others standing around could hear their conversation.

“Lucinda and Eli have done a fantastic job. I’m glad you like everything. I have to say thank you, too, Blake. Your generosity will help Dad’s church and the agency immeasurably. We’ll keep in touch to let you know where the money goes. It will do so much to help so many.”

“That’s good. I’ll see you soon,” he said, holding out his hand. She had to take it, and the minute they touched she felt an electric current, a deeper awareness of him.

“I’ll call,” he said quietly, and released her. She joined Lucinda and Eli, who stood beside the rental car. Her back tingled, and she didn’t want to turn around and look to see if Blake still stood at the door watching them.

She didn’t expect to see Blake again for a long time. Would he come around to her way of thinking about marriage?

She hurt. And she knew why. She had fallen in love with Blake. Maybe with time it would diminish.

She fought back tears, thankful that Lucinda and Eli were discussing their art purchases.

Once Sierra got her emotions under control, she joined in the conversation, thanking them for all their hard work and complimenting them on so many excellent choices in art and furniture.

Sierra kept her emotions bottled up until she reached home, a house she had rented near her parents. She finally sank into a chair, put her head in her hands and cried. She missed Blake.

She had to admit to herself that she had fallen in love with a man bent on revenge. She couldn’t marry a man like that. Even more of a stumbling block was the fact that Blake wasn’t in love with her. She never wanted to be in a loveless marriage.

She had gotten pregnant, and she couldn’t change that. She would have Blake’s baby and they would share their child. She’d have to figure out a way to heal her broken heart.

EIGHT

B
lake sat staring at the phone. Sierra still didn’t want to take his calls. They had talked a few times, but they always had the same argument, then she would hang up. He missed her, and it shocked him. There seemed to be a big, empty hole in his life. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, wanting to see her, even just to talk to her. He wanted to be with her again.

He still thought marriage was a good idea. Even with their differences, marriage seemed the best solution. Surprisingly, it was something he wanted.

Mostly he just wanted to see her. Why wouldn’t she take his calls? They had to talk again.

What would he have to do to get her back into his life? Promise to not mention marriage? He remembered Sierra urging him to call his dad—would that get her to talk to him again?

If he hoped to ever get Sierra back in his life, he suspected he would have to change his attitude toward his father. He remembered her asking if he had ever tried to call his father and find out more about the man.

Blake hadn’t ever gotten past his hurt and anger enough to do so before, but he began rethinking things. A phone call was a simple matter. He had nothing to lose. Having lunch together wouldn’t be a big deal, and if his father said no, at least he would have tried. If he called—even if his father wouldn’t talk to him—maybe that would soften Sierra’s attitude.

He suspected his father wouldn’t be one bit more eager to talk to Blake than Blake was to talk to him, but then Blake could tell Sierra he had called his father.

Cade knew how to get hold of the man, so Blake sent Cade a text asking for the number to talk to their dad. He received a prompt reply:
Do I need to get an ambulance for you?

He fired back,
Not yet.

Staring at the number, he sat a long time, still debating with himself. “So, what the hell?” he finally asked aloud. If his dad wouldn’t take the call, so what? That wouldn’t be a change from their relationship all of Blake’s life. He dialed, and in seconds he heard a voice he didn’t even recognize. Taking a deep breath, expecting the connection to be broken within a minute, he knew he had nothing to lose.

“This is Blake Callahan,” he said, wondering if the man would even acknowledge him. “I feel that I should address you as Mr. Callahan. I don’t know you well enough to call you anything else.”

“This is a surprise,” said a deep voice.

Through the years, Blake had seen pictures of his father, but none recently. Would he even recognize him? He used to see a family resemblance sometimes.

“I called to see if we can have lunch soon. I think it’s time I met you.”

The silence stretched between them. “I live in California now.”

“I’m working out there, so that’s fine. I can meet you wherever you want,” Blake said, amazed he was asking his father to have lunch.

“Lunch would be a good idea. Are you familiar with San Francisco? I live in Carmel, but we’ll have more privacy in San Francisco.”

“San Francisco sounds fine,” Blake answered, shocked that this was actually happening.

“Good. There’s a restaurant that’s popular—Patterson Place. How’s that?”

“I’ll make reservations for two. How about Thursday at noon?”

“Thursday is good. I’ll be there.”

“Excellent. I’ll see you there.” He was tempted to ask how they would recognize each other, but held off. He knew he would at least recognize his father.

The call ended, and Blake wondered whether the man would actually show.

* * *

On Thursday Blake arrived twenty minutes early and ordered iced tea, then settled back to wait. It wasn’t as difficult as he thought it would be to recognize Dirkson Callahan. Blake was mildly shocked, because he looked more frail than Blake had expected. He was thin and wrinkled, with white hair around his face and streaking his black hair. He wore wire-frame glasses, which was another surprise—but Blake had been a small child the last time he had actually seen his father in person.

Blake stood when he saw Dirkson survey the restaurant crowd and pass over him without another glance. Blake threaded his way across the room and was halfway to the front before the older man spotted him and waved slightly, coming toward Blake. He headed back to the table.

Continuing to stand, he waited until his father reached him and offered his hand. Blake had wondered if his father would even give him the courtesy of shaking hands. “Mr. Callahan,” he said, feeling a strange mixture of emotions that flashed through him like lightning.

In his memory, his father had always loomed as powerful and formidable. In reality, he was not threatening in any manner. Blake could see only a faint family resemblance, and Dirkson didn’t give the appearance of wealth or success. He could easily be the wealthiest man in the restaurant, but Blake didn’t think anyone who saw him would even remotely guess he had such wealth unless they knew his identity.

To Blake’s surprise, he experienced a streak of guilt. Through all his efforts to damage his father’s hotel business, Blake had envisioned an opponent who was strong, powerful and invincible, not the elderly gentleman facing him. Dirkson had to have someone handling the media, and he must be using photos from several years back, or touched-up photos.

“Have a seat, sir,” Blake said politely, still studying his father intently.

“Blake, please don’t be so formal. It’s a little late for Dad, so why don’t you call me Dirkson? There’s no more need for you to address me as Mr. Callahan than there is for me to call you by that name.”

Blake had to smile. “Fine. It does seem awkward.” As they sat facing each other, Blake continued to study his father, noticing details, curious about this man who was a mystery and a stranger, even though they had the same blood in their veins and might be more alike than either one wanted.

Curiosity nagged at Blake. “Did you drive from Carmel?”

Amusement seemed to lighten Dirkson’s features momentarily. “No. I don’t drive. The limo will be waiting when I’m through. Rudy brought me here, and when I call him, he’ll come back to pick me up.”

“Cade said to tell you hello.”

Dirkson merely nodded as he opened the menu and read. He closed it within seconds. “I’ve heard the ahi tuna is good here. So, Blake, you’re all grown up now. I know your business is good. You’ve done well.”

Surprised that his father knew anything about him, Blake smiled. “Thank you. I have done well. My office is in Dallas, and part of the time, when I can, I stay on Granddad’s ranch, which he left to me.”

“So, it’s your ranch now.”

“Yes, it is.” They paused while a white-coated waiter took their order, and then Dirkson gazed at Blake. “You’ve done well with your hotels, too.” He looked amused, which surprised Blake.

“Yes, sir. I’ll admit I had goals in mind when I started the luxury hotels. They’ve achieved a certain amount of success, and I’m moving on to other things. You won’t see any more of my hotels near yours. I’ll admit I had a lot of anger stored up.”

He looked into his father’s dark brown eyes and felt very little for the man who was really a stranger—not even the anger or resentment he’d held on to for so long. He knew very little about this man except what he had read in magazines and newspapers. His mother never talked about him, and even as a small child, he suspected she didn’t want to because Dirkson had hurt her badly.

“The years go by and change a person. When I look back, I realize I made mistakes, but that bit of wisdom has come years too late to do any good.”

His words shocked Blake, and he wondered what mistakes his father thought he had made and whether he was talking about family relationships.

“You and I have never talked,” he continued. “I’m a stranger to you. You called me Mr. Callahan. Well, it’s my fault, and at this point in life I have regrets, but I can’t undo what I’ve done and there’s no use in trying to win your friendship now. Or in trying to get closer to my other sons.”

“It might be too late for us, but there’s the next generation. You know you have a granddaughter? Nathan is married and has a baby girl.”

“Yes. I have a secretary who keeps up with all of you and keeps me posted. I’ve seen pictures of Nathan’s baby. I’ve never talked to her mother. But I’ve opened a trust fund for the baby.”

“That’s nice, sir,” Blake said, wondering if Nathan even cared. “This grandchild might give you a second chance with your offspring. You can try talking to this little baby, and maybe she will at least know you’re her grandfather. Twenty years from now she won’t address you as Mr. Callahan.”

“True enough, but I’m afraid I know little about children.”

“You don’t have to,” he said, remembering Sierra’s advice about entertaining kids. “When she gets bigger, get a child’s book to read to her. Children are forgiving, and she’ll like you if you just give her a little attention and talk to her.”

“How is your mother?”

“She’s fine. Doesn’t know I’m here. She’s in Patagonia with friends right now. She travels a lot.”

“I admire you for the success you’ve had and for the competition you gave my hotels. When I realized what you were doing, I was curious to see if you would succeed, and you did amazingly well. That took some gumption and some good decisions.”

“Thank you. Any competition from me is definitely over,” Blake said, feeling a hollow sense of victory. He didn’t care to try to get to know his father now, after all these years and after such a deep hurt in childhood, but he had lost his anger.

“I’m sorry about the way I behaved with all my sons. I don’t know any of you, and I doubt if any of you care about me any longer.”

“I can only speak for myself, but after all the years, frankly, sir, no, I don’t care.”

“That’s honest.” They paused as the waiter brought their lunches, ahi tuna for his father and a thick, juicy hamburger for Blake.

“Your call was a big surprise, but I’m glad you did. You’re an adult, and it’s time we met. When all of you were babies, I thought money was so important. It turns out it’s not that important at all. It seems that way when you don’t have it, or when you’re young and trying to acquire it. I wanted money and power and I left my family behind.”

“I think in some ways you set an example for us—sort of what not to do.”

“If it keeps any of you from feeling the way I do when you’re my age, then that’s good. You said no more hotels, so what will you do? What’s your focus now?”

“Ranching, and I still deal in commercial real estate. I’m not giving up either of those endeavors. I have some good property in this state.”

“Yes, you do. I told you—I keep up with my sons. I’m proud of all of you.”

“I suppose I need to say thank you,” Blake said, surprised at how well this lunch was going.

They ate in silence, and Blake thought of all the years of anger, when he was growing up and as an adult. Now that he was finally with his dad, he could see there was no longer any reason for anger. Pity was the strongest emotion evoked by the man across from him.

Sierra had been right that it was foolish to try to get revenge at this point in life. What else was she right about? Would it matter to her if he told her that he’d had lunch with his dad? Or would she even listen to him if he tried to call her?

They continued to eat in silence, and he wondered if that was really all he had to talk about with his father.

“One more nugget of advice from your elder. Pay attention to what’s important in your life,” his dad finally said. “I didn’t pay attention in my own life, and I can’t undo that now. There is no going back.”

“Yes, sir,” Blake said, thinking about the people who had come into his life in the past month. “Sir, there’s a way you can help someone else, and maybe help some little boys who don’t have dads. I’ve been seeing a woman, and she runs a nonprofit agency that helps people. They have a shelter for homeless children. I have her card,” he said, thinking about William.

He withdrew his wallet to get Sierra’s card and handed it to his dad. “I went to a picnic with her—homeless kids who live in a children’s shelter run by her agency attended. Some of these kids don’t have either parent. There are kids you could help with a donation.

“I didn’t plan this ahead of time, but I thought of it now because of our conversation. I met a little boy at that picnic. William has never known his dad, and his mother was killed. William lives in the shelter, and he has clothes, but nothing else—not a bicycle, not a ball, nothing. You might help him or other kids. It won’t be your own sons, but those kids will know someone cares. That would mean a lot to a child.”

And Blake knew it was true. All that Sierra had said—about doing good, about helping others—somehow it had sunk in. There was good in the world, sometimes, and he suddenly understood her better than he had before.

Nodding, his father took the card and put it in his pocket. “I’m glad to have talked to you today, glad you called. With the hotels and all, I figured you were really angry.”

“I was, but it doesn’t matter now.”

“You’re smart to recognize that. It really doesn’t matter. Don’t ruin the things that do matter.”

“Yes, sir, I’m trying not to,” Blake said, thinking again about Sierra. “It was nice to have lunch with you. I have a plane waiting, and I need to go. Can I call the limo for you?”

“Thanks. I’ll get it. Good luck, and call again sometime, if you’re in town.”

“You can’t imagine what those words would have meant to me when I was a little kid,” Blake said softly. His dad merely nodded. Blake turned away, walking out of the restaurant feeling as if a weight had lifted and some old hurts had been laid to rest. He wondered if he would ever see or talk to his father again.

He had to talk to Sierra. Had she moved on with her life and put all thoughts of him aside? Was she already wiping out memories of their time together? She could never put him completely out of her mind—not with a baby between them. But he wanted more than a child with her. He wanted a life.

But before he could strategize how to win back Sierra, there was currently one person waiting to hear about lunch: Cade. When Blake was seated in the jet, still on the ground and waiting for clearance to take off, he called his half brother.