Experiencing God at Home (33 page)

Overcoming the Obstacles

Family names such as Ford, Kennedy, Vanderbilt, Bush, Gambino, Morgan, and Rockefeller are instantly recognizable. Some have influence in the arts or in politics. Others are leaders in organized crime, industry, the stock market, or in technology. Often multiple generations have worked together to build credibility, assets, and a well-respected (or feared) name.

If you are someone who inherited a legacy of disappointment or worse, there is still hope. You have the opportunity to commence a fresh new legacy with God’s help. Sadly, you may have come from a home characterized by abuse, alcoholism, neglect, abandonment, anger, pride, divorce, and a host of issues that left you with emotional and physical scars. Take time to read through 1 and 2 Kings sometime. Pay close attention to King Asa (1 Kings 15:9–24), King Hezekiah (2 Kings 18–20), and King Josiah (2 Kings 22:1–20; 23:1–30) who were all raised by ungodly parents. Yet despite their terrible parental role models, they determined to live righteously themselves and help God’s people return to a proper relationship with Him. They threw out the foreign gods, tore down the high places of pagan worship, and helped God’s people focus on true worship in the temple once again. They met with varying degrees of success and often faced opposition. Doing what is right is not always easy. It often calls for determination and sacrifice, but then so do most efforts that leave a lasting legacy.

You can decide to create a God-centered home. The Bible commands us to “trust in the L
ord
with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths” (Prov. 3:5–6
hcsb
). Another great verse comes from Psalm 25:4–5: “Make Your ways known to me, L
ord
; teach me Your paths. Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; I wait for You all day long” (
hcsb
). Although your parents may not have provided you with a godly example, God Himself as the only perfect Father will help you raise your children.

Passing on Your Valuables

Much to the delight of my (Tom’s) wife and daughter, my mother-in-law has begun passing on some of her expensive jewelry to her daughters and granddaughters so she can watch them enjoying them while she is still alive. There were two sentimental heirlooms my father intentionally gave to each of his five children. One was a poem (below) written by Edgar Guest, and one was a book. The poem was first given to him by his father. His father explained that while he did not have a large sum of money to pass down to him, he did have one item of immense worth: his reputation. Our grandfather spent a lifetime investing value in his name. The poem summed up his father’s gift. Our father always treasured it. He had received it from his beloved father when he was a young man, and when we were old enough, he passed it on to us.

Your Name

You got it from your father,

t’was the best he had to give,

And right gladly he bestowed it

It’s yours, the while you live.

You may lose the watch he gave you

and another you may claim,

But remember, when you’re tempted,

to be careful of his name.

It was fair the day you got it,

and a worthy name to bear,

When he took it from his father

there was no dishonor there.

Through the years he proudly wore it,

to his father he was true,

And that name was clean and spotless

when he passed it on to you.

Oh there’s much that he has given

that he values not at all,

He has watched you break your playthings

in the days when you were small.

You have lost the knife he gave you

and you’ve scattered many a game,

But you’ll never hurt your father

if you’re careful with his name.

It is yours to wear forever,

yours to wear the while you live,

Yours, perhaps some distant morn,

another boy to give.

And you’ll smile as did your father,

with a smile that all can share,

If a clean name and a good name

you are giving him to wear.

Edgar A. Guest

The book our father gave each of us is even more meaningful. Each child received a well-worn (often tattered) Bible that our father used for his own personal Bible study and that he preached from. The margins are filled with notes and insights from what God taught him during that period of his life. Numerous passages are highlighted in yellow and underlined in various colors. In those Bibles he recorded his relationship with God for his children. As his personal study Bible became worn and tattered, he would purchase a new one and then begin recording the fresh revelations God granted him. He would once again fill up the margins with a record of that portion of his spiritual journey. Perhaps one day we will gather all the Bibles and record his notes into one book! The Bible our father carried with him during the early days of Saskatoon was so worn that someone felt sorry for him and made a book cover out of moose hide. It now sits proudly on his eldest son’s bookshelf as a treasured possession (though, admittedly, it lacks aesthetic appeal). Oh that our children would prize above any other heirloom the tattered Bible they used to see their mother or father using daily!

Conclusion

We have been extremely fortunate to have a godly legacy to build upon in our family. But what each of us does with what we have been given is a choice we will have to make. We have the opportunity to turn our backs on our legacy, selectively accept it by keeping the good and rejecting the bad, or embrace it outright. We have not incorporated everything into our own families that were passed down to us by our parents. We have added some dimensions that each of us children feel better suits our particular family for the times in which we live. Each set of parents does the best they can (faith, flaws, and all) to build a home they believe honors God. May the home you build be one that withstands life’s storms and temptations and gives your children the strong foundation they need to thrive in the future.

My people, hear my instruction; listen to what I say. I will declare wise sayings; I will speak mysteries from the past—things we have heard and known and that our fathers have passed down to us. We must not hide them from their children, but must tell a future generation the praises of the L
ord
, His might, and the wonderful works He has performed. He established a testimony in Jacob and set up a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children so that a future generation—children yet to be born—might know. They were to rise and tell their children so that they might put their confidence in God and not forget God’s works, but keep His commands. (Ps. 78:1–7
hcsb
)

Questions for Reflection/Discussion

1. What is the legacy you inherited from your family or the reputation of your family name?

2. What God-honoring legacy do you want to leave your children?

3. What do you want your family name to be known for?

4. What are you doing to pass on to your children what they will need to know and do to have a successful relationship with God?

5. Are there any aspects of the legacy you inherited that you need to remove from your family life?

Notes

1.
From Overseas: An Anthology of Contemporary Dominions and United States Poetry
(London; Fowler Write, LTD MDCCCCXXVII), 22–24.

2. Young India, October 22, 1925, see http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/32234-seven-deadly-sins-wealth-without-work-pleasure-without-conscience-science.

3. See http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/203941.Harry_S_Truman.

4. See Proverbs 22:1.

5.
Memoirs of Ministers and Missionaries: Memoirs of Deceased Ministers and Missionaries to 1st November, 1929,
311.

Chapter 17

Blessing Other Families

Touching the World (An Example from Richard)

In 2002, I was invited to travel to the nation of Qatar in the Middle East to minister to a community of Westerners who were working in the country. I had never been to the Middle East before, and I decided to bring my oldest son, Mike, to share the experience with me. I knew that many of the international workers had children living there with them, and I was sure Mike (who is pretty cool) would be a hit with them. The international church held its Christian services on Fridays, in conjunction with the Islamic day of worship. I had been asked to speak in both of their overflowing services.

After the first service, a Canadian couple quickly made their way over to me. Their first comment was: “We became Christians in the church your grandfather started in Prince Rupert!” Now as we have already related in this book, our paternal grandfather was a bank manager for the Bank of Montreal (known today as BMO). He was transferred in the 1930s to a remote branch in Prince Rupert, a city on the west coast of Canada, roughly ninety miles south of the Alaska border. Ultimately he started a church that grew to become the largest evangelical congregation in that city. The couple standing before me in Qatar had become Christians in that church. There in the Middle East, sixty-five years later, a couple was telling my grandfather’s grandson and great-grandson how grateful they were for his faithfulness. It left my son and me with goose bumps.

That same year I was asked to speak at a mission conference in Florida. The host church had enlisted numerous missionaries from all over the world to participate, and they had asked me to deliver the Sunday message. At the close of my morning sermon, three missionary couples lined up to speak with me. The first couple was serving in Africa. They related how one evening a band of guerrilla terrorists had scaled the fence of their compound and forced their way into the house. They bound the family and were speaking ominously of killing them. Suddenly a light flashed into the house. It appeared that police or soldiers were surrounding the compound. The intruders frantically escaped without harming anyone. When the family finally freed themselves, they could see no one. God had miraculously saved them.

Shaken by the experience, the couple concluded they should return to the safety of the United States. But their mission organization was holding a conference for missionaries in their region, and their director urged them to attend before resigning their post. My father was the speaker, and my mother had come to encourage the women. One afternoon the couple spent time with my parents, relating their experience and sharing their fears and concerns. My parents prayed with them, encouraged them, and urged them to tell their story in a book. As the couple introduced themselves to me several years later, they held up a book for me to give to my parents. “Tell them we stayed, and we wrote this book. Their encouragement made all the difference!”

The next couple held up a photograph of themselves in a canoe with my parents. They were missionaries in Central America. Two years earlier, they had grown so discouraged from the difficulty of their work that they decided to resign as missionaries and return home. But their region was holding a conference, and my parents were coming to minister to the missionaries. One afternoon during some free time, the couple took my parents out on the river in a canoe. There the couple poured out their hearts to their new friends. The couple asked me to relate to my parents that as a consequence of that afternoon canoe trip, they had gained fresh resolve and had remained on the field.

Then a third couple approached. They explained that after the husband retired from his job, they had gone as missionaries into northern Russia. They found themselves caught between two feuding Christian groups, and when the couple refused to choose sides, they were ostracized by both. This couple suffered the cruel and petty indifference of people for whom they had traveled across the world to encourage. They grieved over being so far away from their grandchildren and friends while being ignored by the people they had come to help. They decided to abandon the ungrateful people and return to their comfortable retirement home. As they grimly told my parents how difficult it was to minister to an ungrateful people, my father gently mentioned that they must now have a small sense of what Christ experienced after He forsook the comforts of heaven to save a people who demonstrated their appreciation by denying, forsaking, criticizing, and crucifying Him. As the couple related this story to me, they grew emotional and choked out, “We stayed.”

At the close of that one Sunday service, I had met people who were faithfully serving Christ in Africa, Central America, and Russia as a result of a seemingly chance encounter with my parents.

Now we realize that not everyone has the opportunity to travel the world and speak to gatherings of missionaries. But the truth is that our parents sought to encourage people whether it was to the widow living next door or the discouraged pastor serving in Australia. As a result, we learned as children that God intends to use families to be a dispenser of blessing to the people around them.