Experiencing God at Home (34 page)

The Families of the Earth

Genesis 12:1–3 describes the formation of one of history’s most famous families. Abram was a seventy-five-year-old, childless businessman who might have concluded, quite naturally, that he and his wife, Sarah, would always live in an empty nest. But one day he had a life-changing encounter. God revealed that He intended to develop a great nation from Abram’s descendants. Before Abram would become a father, however, he needed to make some major life adjustments. God commanded him to “get out of your country, from your family and from your father’s house, to a land that I will show you” (v. 1). God was asking the elderly Bedouin to trust Him with his family and his future. However, God also promised: “I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great. . . . I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you” (vv. 2–3). Clearly this was going to be an outstanding deal for Abram! But then God concluded by announcing: “And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed” (v. 3). God intended to make Abram’s family a blessing to all the families of the earth. And, God was true to His word. Abram’s family has profoundly blessed our families, and, we suspect, it has blessed yours too.

A Fruitful Tree

Being a blessing is a recurrent theme throughout the Bible. God doesn’t bestow His favor merely for us to hoard it for ourselves. It is dispensed so we can pass the divine favor on to others. For example, the psalmist declared: “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the L
ord
, and in His law he meditates day and night” (Ps. 1:1–2). God promised to bless those who shun wicked company and behavior and who, instead, immerse themselves in God’s Word. The psalmist added: “He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not whither; and whatever he does shall prosper” (Ps. 1:3). God intends for the righteous to be like fruit trees! Of course, a shady tree laden with fruit does not primarily benefit itself but others. A fruit tree doesn’t eat its own fruit, but others sure do! Fruit provides refreshment and nourishment to those who are hungry. People as well as animals find relief from the oppressive heat in its shade. The psalmist was writing to a people living in a hot, dry, desert climate. To them, a shady fruit tree provided a marvelous oasis! That is what godly families are intended to be: an oasis of comfort and encouragement.

Blessing a Community

One final example of being a blessing is found in Luke 7:1–10. While Jesus was in Capernaum, a centurion sent a delegation to plead with Jesus to come and heal his terminally ill servant. The centurion was a Gentile. His role would have been to enforce Roman law and taxation over the occupied people of Israel. Yet this man apparently loved the people he worked with. He built a synagogue for the local citizens. When one of his servants became gravely ill, the military officer dispatched a delegation of Jewish elders to ask Jesus to come and heal the man. These elders explained to Jesus: “For he loves our nation, and has built us a synagogue” (v. 5). This man was a foreigner, living among people generally disposed to hate him. Yet, he had chosen to bless the city in which he lived, and the people had responded enthusiastically to his obvious love. As Proverbs declares, “When it goes well with the righteous, the city rejoices” (Prov. 11:10).

Living Lives of Blessing

So what does this mean for you? God wants to help you lead your family to bless others. The church or neighborhood or state or nation in which you live ought to be a better place because you belong to it. How do you do this? Here are four simple steps:

1. Bless Your Children

This seems obvious, but it is extremely difficult for your children to bless others if they have never received a blessing themselves. This need has become particularly prevalent in a society in which a high percentage of children are growing up in families where they have no contact with one of their parents. Many boys are growing up with little or no contact with their father. And, if they see their father, they are not receiving a blessing. If you have never received a blessing yourself, then it will be difficult for you to impart one to others, even if you want to.

Tom and I have both ministered to the inmates in the Louisiana State Maximum Security Prison at Angola. We’ve been told that 70 percent of the inmates’ children will end up in prison just like their fathers. Part of the reason is modeling. Criminal behavior and attitudes are all many of those children have known. But second, many of the inmates’ offspring have never received a blessing. No one has ever expressed belief that they could amount to anything or rise above the lifestyle of their parents. So, they resign themselves to functioning in the same antisocial and criminal manner in which they were raised. And the cycle continues.

Biblically, the patriarchs of God’s people established a pattern of blessing the next generation. Abraham, the founding father of God’s people, chose to obey God regardless of the cost or difficulty. As a result, God promised him: “By Myself I have sworn, says the L
ord
, because you have done this thing, and have not withheld your son, your only son—blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies. In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice” (Gen. 22:16–18). Can you imagine being Isaac and growing up in a home that God was using to bless all the nations and families of the earth?

Isaac grew up understanding and experiencing blessing. In fact, his own blessing was so coveted by his offspring that his son Jacob connived against his older brother in order to cheat him of his (Gen. 27). Likewise, Jacob spent extensive time blessing his children and grandchildren (Gen. 48–49). One of the reasons God used the patriarchs of God’s people so mightily is because they understood and dispensed blessing to their descendants.

We have been struck by the difference it makes in peoples’ lives when they have, or have not, received a parental blessing. Richard was with two different pastors who had planted strong churches. Both were good men doing outstanding work. But the longer Richard spoke with them, the more apparent it became that something in these men was missing. Both expressed insecurities and doubts. Both seemed to need Richard to affirm what they were doing, even though they had only just met him. At last Richard asked each pastor about his father. In both cases, their fathers were not Christians and had openly rejected Christian values. When each man’s father had visited his son’s church, his comment had been, “Why are you wasting your time in a church?” Both of these men knew their father was not a believer, and neither was surprised at the negative response they received over their call to Christian ministry. Nevertheless, each man continued to long in his heart for some token of blessing and affirmation from his father. This is not saying that we must psychoanalyse everyone we meet to determine if they have an unmet childhood need that we can meet! But it does suggest that more so than ever before society is filled with people who long for a blessing.

2. Model Thoughtful Behavior to Your Children

Your children will tend to imitate the behavior they see in their parents. If you behave in a self-centered manner, expect to find that same attitude in your children. If you never go out of your way to bless others, don’t expect your children to do so. However, if you demonstrate thoughtfulness toward others, your children will most likely develop kindness and consideration into their own social DNA. There are many ways you can do this. For example, parents who regularly open their homes to entertain friends and family are teaching their children how to be hospitable and good hosts. Parents who model gratitude by sending thank-you notes to people who have done something for them are teaching their children an important social skill. Families who serve in their church or who go on mission trips together will tend to have children who are also considerate of others.

Blessing Orphans in Africa

Our brother Mel and his wife, Gina, took their daughter Christa on a mission trip with their church to Mozambique. As a young teen, Christa felt God wanted her to join her church’s effort, so she had raised her own money to go. The mission team was ministering to poor people and to orphans. One day the team planned to serve a meal to the many children in that area. Christa was assigned to spoon out rice onto each person’s plate. To the team’s dismay, however, they were informed that it was a practice of the local culture that all of the adults who were present should eat before any of the children. A long line of adults began to form, and the mission team feared there would not be enough food for the children who were hungrily watching the adults being served. It became clear that the mission team had not brought enough food for the rapidly growing crowd. Instructions were hastily dispatched to team members to refrain from eating any food, as there was not enough for the children. Finally, a long line of children began to be served. The mission volunteers felt sick that they might have to turn some of the hungry waifs away. The team members were fervently praying as they served the children. Christa kept scooping out one spoonful of rice after the next, praying for a miracle. Incredibly, each time Christa lowered her spoon into the large pot, another serving of rice emerged. To everyone’s amazement, as she finally scraped the bottom of the kettle, the last child was served. Christa and the team believed they had experienced a miracle. When children are able to share such experiences with their parents, they are left with a permanent impression (and they want to experience God working through their lives that way again and again!). The key is to help our children experience the joy and satisfaction that results when we allow God to use our lives to impart a blessing to others.

3. Be Practical

There are many Christian families who would help others if they could, but they have no idea what to do. We have both had sincere people exclaim to us: “I just wish there was something I could do to help!” Such people then typically beat a hasty retreat out of earshot before you can offer any suggestions! Our advice is: Don’t
say
you want to help.
Do something!
Here are some practical ways you might bless others:

• During the holidays, invite a single parent and her children to join you for your holiday meal.
  
• Help your children to regularly weed out good clothes they no longer wear, box them up, and deliver them to Goodwill or to a needy family that could use them.
  
• Go as a family and volunteer to do yard work at a widow’s house.
  
• Watch for new children who are attending your church. Intentionally invite them to your home and encourage your children to make them feel welcome.
  
• When going on a fun family outing, consider inviting other children from broken homes to join you.
  
• As a parent, look for ways to volunteer time as a Little League coach or a chaperone of one of your children’s clubs or teams.
  
• As a family, sponsor a child through an organization such as Compassion International.
  
• Save your money as a family and go on a mission trip together. Perhaps use the money you would have spent at Christmas and, instead, jointly invest it in God’s kingdom.
  
• As a family, come up with a creative way to encourage the staff at your church.
  
• Sponsor an international exchange student in your home.
  
• During your children’s birthday parties, intentionally invite some less-popular children who are not normally invited to parties.
  
• As a family, go to a nursing home and spend time with the residents. Perhaps you can paint the ladies’ nails or play a board game with some of the men. The elderly always enjoy having young children in the vicinity!
  
• As a family, pay to send some frazzled parents on a date while you watch their children.
  

There are innumerable ways for your family to bring joy to others. (For a helpful resource, see Tom and Kim Blackaby
The Family God Uses: Leaving a Legacy of Influence
[Birmingham, AL: New Hope Publishers, 2009].) Ask yourself: What could someone do for me that would be an enormous help and bring me joy? Then go do it for someone else! The key is to be others focused rather than self-focused. If you are on the lookout for someone you can help, it won’t take you long to find them!

4. Teach Your Children to Be a Blessing

Unfortunately, people are born in a self- centered condition! We aren’t naturally considerate of others. The best parents are those who teach their children to be thoughtful of others. The apostle Paul instructed us to “let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Eph. 4:29). You bless others when you learn to season your words with grace. (A helpful resource in this regard is Richard Blackaby,
Putting a Face on Grace: Living a Life Worth Passing On
[Colorado Springs: Multnomah Books, 2006].) Wise parents monitor their children’s speech and instruct them in how to use their words to edify others.

Astute parents work hard to teach their children social skills so they are a delight to have around. Sadly, many parents neglect to instill people skills into their children, and so rather than leaving a blessing, these children leave a bad taste in people’s mouths! We have both suffered the adverse effects of a poorly raised child. Richard once invited a family over to his house for dinner. The guest’s four-year-old child systematically went around the house taking everything off the shelves and placing it on the floor. Rather than stopping her, the parents laughed merrily! We have both hosted families where the children were continually asking for more candy or sodas or toys. Instead of intervening so their children were not underfoot while we tried to get dinner ready, the parents relaxed in the living room, oblivious to what their urchins were doing in the kitchen. Of course, the reason many parents do not teach proper people skills to their children is because no one ever taught them. We know of one family who stopped by a pastor’s home to say hello and then proceeded to stay for three days!