Exposed (Free Falling) (17 page)

“
Do you really think I’d be pushing this hard for you to move in with me if I was trying to creep behind your back?” From my peripheral, I saw him smile.  “Doesn’t make sense, does it?” he asked when he saw my gaze lower to my lap while I thought.

“If that’s all it is, why didn’t you tell me about her before?” I asked.

He shrugged casually. 
“Because she’s not worth you getting upset over.  As soon as our business with one another is done, I’m gonna block her from being able to call me altogether.  Until then, I just ignore it.”

I hated that his explanation seemed legit, mostly because I still didn’t feel settled.  Again, I looked over at his phone and contemplated going through it just to put my mind at ease.

“Now can I take you to dinner?” He asked.

I didn’t respond right away which made him chuckle.

“Want me to beg?  I’ll do it if I have to,” he added.  When he leaned in to kiss my cheek a very faint smile tugged at one side of my mouth.

Jason shifted the car into ‘drive’ again and then pulled out. 

The conversation during dinner was still a bit strained because I hadn’t shaken that feeling yet.  I figured I just needed to sleep it off and I’d be back to normal by morning. 

Jason walked me up to my apartment and looked around when I turned on the lamp.

“Man, it looks different in here with all Angel’s stuff gone.”

I looked around too, setting my purse and keys down on the end table.
  “I know.  As soon as I get time, I’m gonna go shopping to grab a few things.”

Yawning, I took a seat on the couch before kicking off my shoes.  Jason removed his and came to join me.  Already I was reading his signs.  It was nearly eleven; if he was trying to get comfortable, that usually meant he was trying to stay.  Unfortunately for him, I had no interest in entertaining him tonight – in the bedroom or otherwise.  However if he needed lotion and a hand-towel to get
himself
together, he knew where to find both.  On cue, I yawned again.

“It’s too early to be tired,” he said with a smile.  When his hand went to the hem of my dress, I almost pushed it away…but I didn’t.  His fingers pushed the material up my thigh a few inches and I felt frustration climbing up my spine.  This might just be
my
thinking, but if I was a guy and my girl and I had just gotten into it about another chick earlier that evening, I’d let her have her space for at least the next twenty-four hours.  But not Jason.

He leaned over toward me, hand creeping between my legs, and sucked at the side of my neck.  Now that he couldn’t see my face, I rolled my eyes freely.

“I don’t feel like it tonight,” I sighed, unable to make that sound as polite as I meant to.  As if his touch would change my mind, Jason continued on until his fingers reached my satin panties.  I wasn’t even fazed.  There was no twitching, no chills, nothing.  When he made his way inside the material and touched me, he found out the hard way that I truly,
truly
wasn’t interested…not even a little.

Defeated, he pulled back and rested his head against the back of the couch with a sigh.  I ignored him and straightened my bracelet on my wrist.

“Is this about that text?” he asked, eyes trained on the ceiling.

“
Me not wanting to have sex?  No.  It’s about me being tired,” I lied.  Truthfully, turning him down did have at least a little something to do with the text, but I didn’t feel like arguing again.  “I have to work in the morning.”

He exhaled sharply again.
  About half a minute passed before he stood from the couch and slipped back into his shoes.  I watched as took his keys from beside mine and unlocked the door to my apartment.  Apparently, if he wasn’t getting any, he wasn’t staying.

Fine by me; I needed time to think anyway.

“Goodnight,” he announced, followed by the sound of my door slamming behind him.

I lay in bed alone and awake, still thinking over the convenient story Jason told me.  It may very well
have been the truth, but I still wasn’t as settled as I wished I was about it.

When I
flipped over onto my back I didn’t bother to straighten the sheets tangled around my legs.  I stared at the ceiling and let my thoughts shift to someone else, wondering what
he
was doing instead of wondering if I’d hurt Jason’s feelings.  This would be AJ’s second night sleeping beneath the same blanket of stars that we’d
always
shared, but now he was sleeping a little closer than before.  I knew Kira wasn’t able to move here with him yet – something about her job.  That left me wondering if he was lonely. 

Frustrated? 

Bored?

Under typical circumstances, it would’ve been nice to be able to give him a tour of the city, teach him how to ge
t around on the subway, show him all the good places to eat, stuff like that.  However, there was no appropriate way for me to reach out.

I couldn’t continue to deny that a small part of me did want to contact him
, though.  Not to get anything started…just to talk.  Now that I knew that we were capable of getting along, it seemed weird to pretend like I didn’t know he was in town.  But that’s basically what I’d have to do. 

It
sucked, but I’d learn to deal with it…eventually.

C
hapte
r
N
ine

AJ

I didn’t even bother closing the door behind me when I rushed into the loft with a visual of where I’d left my laptop beside the air mattress in the bedroom.  The sound of my footsteps ricocheted off the walls as I made my way down the hallway.  The laptop bag was hanging on a hook in the closet.  I grabbed it and started winding the charger to pack it away.  As soon as I put it in the front pocket, Kira’s ringtone blared from inside my suit jacket.

“Hey,” I answered in a huff, trying to hurry so I could get back to the office before lunch was over.  Granted, I was technically the boss, but I was trying to lead by example and be in my office in the timespan of a
n hour like I’d allotted for the twenty employees that I was now in charge of. 

“You sound busy.  I assumed you’d be getting lunch,” Kira said in response to my being out of breath.

“Uh…technically I am, but stupid me forgot my laptop this morning and I need some files off of it.”

“Oh,
I see.  Are you okay to talk, or –“

“Yeah, I’m good.  How’s your day?”
I answered, continuing to rush around.

She exhaled first. 
“Fine.  Just missing you.”

Hearing that slowed my pace a little and I smiled. 
“I miss you too.”  These phone calls weren’t quite doing it, but we set ourselves on a schedule already.  Because both of our morning routines left little time for chatting, we talked through lunch Monday, Tuesday, and now on Wednesday.  Then at night, we’d watch a show or two together, conversing about the drama via phone.  It was almost like watching them side by side like we would’ve done at home. 

Almost
.

I zipped my bag and took a moment to think, making sure I wasn’t forgetting anything else.  When I did, I spotted my phone charger plugged in beneath the window
, deciding to grab that too.  In D.C., I was used to utilizing the one in my car on my way to work, but now that I was taking cabs back and forth, I often found myself with less than ten percent battery life – like now.  On cue the call failed and the phone shut off.  I cursed loudly to myself and let out a deep breath.  This day was already off to a terrible start.  I bent to snatch the charger from the wall and glanced out the window when I stood upright to rush toward the door…but when I did, I froze in place. I could’ve sworn I saw a familiar face amidst the crowd, grabbing a smoothie from the kiosk down at the sidewalk.  My mouth hung open as I watched Giuseppe take her cash and then flash her a smile.

Without thinking, I dropped my things on the air mattress and tore
through the entrance of my loft, taking the stairs in twos. 

What am I doing
?

Why am
I even chasing her?

What am I
gonna say to her when I get down there?

None of these questions got answered, or even mattered
, to be quite honest.  Clearly, I had a one-track mind.

“Strawberry banana smoothie for you this morni
ng?” Giuseppe asked with a grin, remembering my order from last time.

I ignored his question and pointed down the street in the direction that I thought Sam had just walked off in.  Out of breath, I asked, “The woman who was just here – brown-skinned, longish brown hair, tight black dress….did she
walk that way?” I asked, noting the air of desperation in my tone.

Giuseppe seemed confused and I tried not to let the dumbfounded look on his face frustrate me.  When the expression turned into a smile, I knew he
now understood who I was talking about.

“
Ohhhh……yes, she went that way.” Relief washed over me and I was only able to take one step when he added,  “…but you’ll never catch her.  She’s fast, that one.”

I placed my hands on the metal counter of his booth
and braced myself.  “She comes here often?” I asked, out of breath from letting myself get all worked up.

He smiled bright again.  “Yes! 
Every Wednesday.  Same time.  Like clockwork.”

When he said this, I remembered this being something that he’d shared with me my first day here.  There was no way in hell I would’ve known
then that he was talking about Sam, though.

“Every Wednesday?”
I asked.

Giuseppe nodded
to confirm.

“Same time?”

Another nod.

Now my heart rate slowe
d as I continued to stare off into the sea of pedestrians, hoping to get another glimpse of her.  But he was right, she was already gone.  I turned to Giuseppe again.  “Could you do me a favor?”

He nodded and watched curiously as I dug inside my pocket
for a $5 bill.  “The next time she comes by here, let her know that her drink was already paid for, and hand her this.”

I scribbled my phone number on a napkin.  Giuseppe didn’t have to wonder why.  The smile on his face grew as he accepted the cash, and the napkin, sticking it beneath the counter.  I don’t know why, but I trusted that he’d carry
out my plan just like I’d asked him to.

“Of course,” he promised
, as I turned to head back inside to retrieve the things I’d abandoned on my bed.

Climbing the steps, I shook my head at myself, realizing that I was doing this the hard way
.  If I really wanted to talk to her so bad, which I clearly couldn’t deny any longer, I could’ve just asked Terrell for her number.  After all, if I did it
that
way, I’d be able to contact her tonight rather than waiting a week and leaving the ball in
Sam’s
court instead of my own.  However, I know her.  She’d always appreciated the subtle ways that the universe used to go about making us aware of the others’ existence.  To me, this – forgetting my laptop that morning, my phone dying, seeing her pass right beneath my window in one of the largest cities in the
world
– seemed like another one of those moments.

Did I take this as some cosmic sign that we were supposed to be together?
No, of course not.  But I do believe that us not having contact at all isn’t in the stars for us either.  If I knew Sam, she’d felt the same pull that I had since I got into town Saturday.  Playing with fire or not, I’d already made up my mind that I’d be talking to her at some point….even though I’d
just
promised Kira this wouldn’t happen.

Stil
l, for whatever reason, I couldn’t seem to convince myself that I was making a mistake.

*****

Sam

“This happened when?” Dr. Gill asked, taking notes.

“Sunday night.”

“What was his explanation?” she asked.

I shook my head and let my gaze drift out the window, sipping my drink before replying.  “He said that she’s a client.  She flirts with him and makes passes, but he ignores it…or so he says.”

“You don’t think he’s telling you the truth?”

Her question weighed heavy on my heart.  Honestly, I did trust Jason for the most part, but for some reason I had my suspicions about him lately.  Be it women’s intuition of something else, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that he was keeping something from me.  “I really don’t know for sure.  I’d like to say that I believe him, but…I suppose part of me doesn’t.”

She made another note and looked up with surprise in her eyes when I offered up information without her having to pry it out of me.

“Is it possible that I
want
to think he’s cheating on me?”  When I met Dr. Gill’s gaze she stared curiously.

“That’s an interesting question.  What makes you ask that?”