Exposed (Free Falling) (8 page)

Sam stood there alone on the other side of the threshold with the same expression plastered across her face.  She clutched her purse over her shoulder and finally put one foot in front of the other to step inside the elevator, turning her back to me once she was officially in my personal space – standing only a foot or so away. 

It felt like the heat in that small box climbed well over one hundred degrees with all the tension.  She had a white-knuckle grip on the strap of her bag and I could see each labored breath that she took. 
Standing there, even with me fighting it, I couldn’t help what happened next.  Whether it was purely the man in me, or because I was so used to doing this in her presence…I checked her out. 

Hard
. 

She still wore the gray shorts and jacket from earlier – the ones that barely came below where her backside cupped under and met her thighs.  The two, perfectly sculpted mounds beneath the material were tight and full, even more so than I remembered.  Clearly, time had done her body right. 

Forcing my eyes north before I got caught, her reflection in the mirrored doors was one of sheer terror.  If I had to guess, I’d say she was counting the seconds until this ride to the first floor was over.  Things were too tense, though, and I had to say
something
to break the ice.  We’d never survive this weekend if one of us didn’t.

“So…how’ve you been?” I managed to say without letting on that I was about as uncomfortable as she was.

She actually jumped a little at the sound of my voice.

“Uh –
good.  Things’ve been good.”  A moment passed before she added, “And you?  H-how’ve
you
been?”  She glanced back over her shoulder at me for a brief second.

I nodded and replied with a generic, “Good.”

She nodded and cleared her throat.  Was that it?  That was all either of us had to say to one another after five long years?

“Well…I’ll see
ya,” she said with an air of relief in her tone when the doors parted again and she breezed out into the lobby.  Within a matter of seconds, she was halfway down the hall, headed toward the back entrance.  Shaking my head, I stared as her hips drifted from side to side, and refocused on the task at hand – finding Kira. 

I tried her phone again only to have it go to voicemail after a few rings just like before.  I made it to the parking lot and, of course, my car was gone.  She didn’t know her way around Boston any more than
I
did, so it shocked me that she’d actually left.  Clearly she was more upset by all of this than I realized.  And all for nothing, might I add.

The awkward exchange with Sam came back to mind and I dwelled on how wrong Kira was about all of this.  There was nothing left between Sam and me to the point that we couldn’t even find conversation for one another.  If she’d seen that, it definitely would’ve set her mind at ease.

Realizing that I was gonna just have to wait for Kira to return, I went back to our room and took a nap for the two hours that I had before having to be up and ready for the rehearsal.  With only ten minutes before needing to head over to the church, I was just getting ready to call myself a cab when Kira traipsed back through the door.  I stared at her for a second, but didn’t question her about where she’d been.

“Are you still coming?” I asked.

She finally made eye contact and shook her head.  “I don’t think so.  But you go ahead without me.  I’m not really feeling up to it.”

Is she really going to hold on to this?

I didn’t say a word.  If she wanted to be petty and childish about this, I’d let her do just that.  Snatching my keys from where she’d set them on top of her purse, I left Kira behind.

Finding the church was pretty easy with the GPS.  A quick fifteen minute drive and I was parked in the lot.  Terrell instructed the guys to hang a left at the entrance and walk to the room at the end of the hall.  When I got there, I found him sitting on a large sectional couch
in some sort of a lounging area, talking to five or six other guys who I assumed were also in the wedding.

“
Whassup, man?”  Terrell greeted me.

I nodded. 
“Whassup.”

“
Lemme introduce you to everybody.”  Pointing to the large, bald guy to his left, he announced, “This is Ced, my cousin from St. Louis.”

I nodded politely to acknowledge him.

“This is Dominic, Al, and my boy Pete that I went to high school with,” he added.

Again I did the courtesy nod and kept listening.

“And these two over here, John and Floyd, are Maisha’s cousins.  Everybody, this is my boy, AJ.”

Variations of greetings, head nods, and handshakes came my way, and then the men went back to their conversation.  Terrell got up from the couch and came to where I stood by the door.

“You got Kira settled in the sanctuary before you came in here?  There’re a few other spouses and whatnot that came with some of the other bridal party members.  She’ll be cool in there with them.”

I shook my head.  “Nah…she didn’t come.”

Terrell cocked his head to the side.  “Everything alright?”

If it’d been anyone else, I would’ve lied and told him that nothing was the matter, but seeing as how Terrell and Karl were about the closest things I had to having actual brothers, I went ahead and told him.

“She freaked herself out meeting Sam, so she decided at the last minute not to come tonight.”

Terrell raised an eyebrow.  “Oh, wow.  But y’all didn’t even speak, did you?  You and Sam, I mean.”

“Nope.  Not a word.”  I left out the part about the brief exchange in the elevator because that didn’t really count.

“I mean…did she just not
wanna be around her?”  Terrell asked.  “She knew Sam would be here for the wedding and everything, right?”

I nodded.  “She knew.  I don’t know what her deal is.”

Terrell shook his head and placed a hand on my shoulder.  “Well, we won’t be here too late.  Maisha wants to start in a few minutes, and then you can head back and work things out with your girl.”

I only nodded in response.

A few more guys flooded the room and shortly after that, Terrell had us line up.  I was standing nearest to the door, waiting for the wedding coordinator to signal us to start when my phone went off in my pocket – Kira.

It was a simple text that read, “I’m sorry and I love you.  Make it up to you tonight…”

A smile crossed my face as I tucked my cell away in my pocket again.

“Ready?”  The small woman in the hallway asked with
a tight expression.

*****

All of the other guys had made it through the sanctuary doors while I stood by Terrell’s side trying to keep the ring bearer from fidgeting too much.  Eventually I gave up when I realized he was moving around like crazy because he needed to use the bathroom.  Pete, Terrell’s friend from high school, pranced down the aisle, making a big show of letting his female counterpart’s hand go when it was time for them to separate at the altar.  The few people speculating from the pews laughed and I spotted Sam’s boyfriend sitting near the back alone.

I zeroed in on him, wondering things I had no business wondering – how long they’d been together, what kind of guy he was, if he treats her well, how serious they are.  Like I said, things I had no business wondering.  It wasn’t until Terrell nudged me that I realized that the coordinator had been trying to get my attention
.  I met her persistent gaze as she motioned for me to come down from the altar to where she stood.  Confused, I was on my way over to see what she wanted, only for her to hold up a hand for me to slow my pace some.

What the…

I made it to the center of the aisle with one arm bent behind my back like the feisty woman instructed and the doors of the church opened.  My heart leapt to my throat, but I didn’t let it show as I stared at a very nervous, very shaken Sam.  This wasn’t the plan.

S
am

One by one our line depleted and finally the girl before me stepped inside and the doors closed behind her.  The coordinator’s assistant called me up to my mark, situated the plastic flowers that we practiced with in my hand, and then reminded me to smile.  The next thing I know, the door creaked open and my heart sank to my stomach…and stayed there.

A rush of emotion came over me all at once and I felt my legs trembling, threatening to give way beneath me.  It was him, AJ, standing there waiting. 

Maisha said it wouldn’t be like this; I was supposed to be walking down the aisle alone. 

Clearly, either the plans had changed, or…we’d both been duped.  I could feel my pulse thudding against my necklace and the assistant whispered and urgent, “GO!”  She had no idea what she was asking me to do.  The few onlookers who came to rehearsal, including Jason, slowly turned to stare as I stood there frozen in place.  A.J. looked as surprised as I did.  In that moment that our eyes locked, right after the shock wore off, I swear he smiled a little. 
Couldn’t have, though
.  He picked up on my apprehension and held his hand out, encouraging me to walk to him.  Against my will, my feet began to move the rest of my body in his direction. 

As I approached him slowly, I
couldn’t help but to, again, take in the changes he’d undergone.  Those arms and shoulders were killing me. Staring, I sucked in a breath. He was always well-built, but now?  His physique was obviously more defined, and I focused in on how the sleeves of the gray t-shirt that he wore hugged his solid biceps.

Mmm
mmm mmm…

His face was the same, but there was an unfamiliar coldness in his eye
s; however, something began to happen the closer I got to him – it was almost as if the ice surrounding his heart was beginning to melt.  There we stood face to face, unable to run away, and I was expected to take his arm.  His eyebrow shot up in a
‘well, here goes nothing’
sort of way as he turned to stand beside me. 

A current of e
lectricity flowed all over me when my hand slipped slowly over the bare skin of his arm. I latched on and goose bumps seemed to cover every inch of my body.  I did my best to play it cool as I followed his lead and we made the short walk toward the front of the church.  Terrell was smiling like his bride was coming down the aisle as he stood there proud of the fine execution of his plan.  This
was
a setup. 

From the
corner of my eye, I watched AJ more than I watched where I was walking.  It was so bizarre that he was beside me…
touching
me.  Everything that I’d expected was void from his expression and body language now that our arms were locked.  There was no anger, no bitterness, nothing but an intense charge that could’ve powered an entire city block.  I tried to keep my expression blank so that Jason wouldn’t pick up on anything out of the ordinary. 

At the end of the aisle, the
coordinator called out for us to stop briefly because that’s where the photographer would be taking a few shots of A.J. and I during the ceremony the next day.  When given our next cue, A.J. continued to walk me to where the rest of the girls stood.  He held on to my hand for a second longer than was necessary and I glanced back.  My heart fluttered in my chest when I found him smiling to himself as he walked away to rejoin the guys, unaware that I’d noticed.  Terrell was almost laughing aloud when A.J. passed by him. His, and maybe Maisha’s, plan was messy, but all I could do at this point was try not to smile. 

It wasn’t lost on me that the two of them felt torn when we broke up, feeling the sting of trying to compartmentalize their relationships with AJ and me for the sake of keeping the peace.  For several months after I moved, Terrell made it his personal mission to mend the fence between AJ
and me, hoping that one day we’d rekindle the white-hot flame that once burned between us back in the day.  While I knew it wouldn’t get to that, maybe a friendship wasn’t as farfetched as I once thought.  In the very least, his receptiveness made an apology on my part seem feasible. 

Next my eyes went to Jason to see if he’d noticed anything, but his nose was buried in his phone, letting me know that I was in the clear.  Still, remembering that he was in the room sobered me up a bit, made the butterflies in my stomach settle back into their rightful place
. 

I straightened my face
and stared at the door as the flower girls entered the sanctuary.  They smiled sweetly and pretended to drop petals onto the aisle, then came and stood in front of me just before the wedding march began.  Per Maisha’s request, that part of the ceremony wouldn’t be rehearsed because she’d heard it was bad luck.  So, with that, the coordinator instructed us on how we were to exit the sanctuary behind Terrell and Maisha the next day. 

“Meet here,” she said, pointing down to the spot where she stood between the two front pews.  “Link up with your partner, wait until the couple in front of you is at that bow there in the middle, and then proceed straight out through the sanctuary doors and stand to the left so that you’re not crowding the foye
r as the guests make their exit.”