Faithless Angel (26 page)

He was cold. And scared. She knew on a gut level and every instinct screamed for her to lean forward. She could reach him so easily. Just a shift in her seat, a stretch of her arms, and she could ease his fear and his chill.

“Come on, Daniel,” came the doctor’s voice, like a dousing of cold reality.

Then as quickly as it had stirred, the urge to comfort fell silent. Unanswered.
Thank goodness
.

Faith forced her attention from Daniel and concentrated on breathing slowly, evenly, which wasn’t very easy to do with Jesse right beside her. It wasn’t enough that his jean-covered thigh rested so close to her. To make matters worse, he glanced at her every few minutes. She felt his gaze, a caressing pass of warmth that heated her cheeks, her shoulders, the hands she clasped tightly in her lap—everywhere that he looked.

Even more disturbing images fought their way
into her head, only to be quickly shoved out. She had to relax. Like a bad visit to the dentist, this would all be over in a matter of minutes.

“We all want to help you, Daniel. We want to be your friends, if you’ll just let us. But you have to talk to us. Let us inside,” the doctor was saying, all the while Faith stared at the clock. Five more minutes.

Then she could corner Bradley, get his signature.

Five … Four
…

“… Bradley and the other kids will be there for you once you leave the hospital, if you want them to be. You have to give a little, Daniel. Talk to us. Tell us what you’re thinking.”

Three
.

“There’s an entire world waiting for you. I know your past, Daniel, where and what you come from, but you’ll be surrounded by kids who know what it’s like. You’re not alone, son …” The doctor’s voice droned on and Faith watched the second hand ticking away. Anything to keep from looking at Daniel.

From feeling Jesse’s presence.

Two
.

“Come on, Daniel. I want to help you, man.” It was Bradley’s voice, so worried. So eager. So …

So much like Faith used to be.

She cut herself off from the thought, watched the skinny black arm wind down.

One
.

“I can see you’re still not ready,” the doctor said. “We’ll try again tomorrow. Think about what we’ve said, Daniel. That’s all for today.”

Zero
.

The orderlies moved forward and Faith reached for her purse. It was over. Now to corner Bradley—

“I told
you
to leave me the hell alone.” The venomous words sizzled across the distance to Faith.

Her head jerked to attention and she stared directly into Daniel’s eyes. Where there had been nothing throughout the session, just pale blue pools of emptiness, now hatred and anger and deadly intent glittered there in full brilliance.

The orderlies moved toward him, but it was too late. He lunged across the two-foot radius of the circle.

“I told you, bitch! I told you!” His good arm swung and his fist smashed into her right temple. Jagged streaks of pain splintered through her skull, and the floor tilted.

Chaos erupted around her. Bradley and Jesse and the doctor’s voices blended into the shrill ringing in her ears. The orderlies were a white blur closing in on a kicking and screaming Daniel. He’d caught everyone off guard.

Especially Faith.

Then the noise faded.

The images blurred.

Faith crumbled to the floor.

“Faith? Can you hear me?”

Faith blinked and found herself staring up into Jesse’s concerned face. He knelt beside her, his large form blocking the overhead fluorescent lights, making him more shadow than man. Cold linoleum seeped through her skirt and bit into her backside.

“What—” The word faded into a groan when she moved her jaw.

“Daniel,” he reminded her, anger simmering in his gaze, mingling with the concern that glittered back at her like twin beacons of light. “Think you can stand up?”

She nodded and he helped her to a sitting position.

The room shimmied and swirled for a few seconds. She swayed.

“Dammit, you do need a doctor.” Jesse touched tender fingertips to the small lump at her temple.

“No, no,” Faith murmured. “It hardly hurts at all.”

“But you’re dizzy.”

“I’m just a little stunned.”

Jesse wasn’t convinced. “I’m going to find a doctor anyway. Just to be sure. Now don’t move.” When he seemed certain she was going to hold her sitting position, he stood and strode from the therapy room.

Voices carried from outside as a team of doctors, nurses, and orderlies tried to subdue Daniel. Faith glimpsed the chaos as Jesse left the room. Then the door shut and she was left sitting on the floor, her mind frantically trying to grasp what had just happened.

Daniel had knocked the living daylights out of her.

Faith tested the lump, mentally readying herself for a burst of pain. Instead, she felt only a dull ache when she pressed her fingers to the sore spot. It didn’t make sense. She should have a full-blown concussion after the punch he’d given her. Not a measly headache.

“Are you all right?” Bradley rushed into the room, giving her another glimpse of the crowded hallway.

Faith abandoned her thoughts and struggled to see through the maze of bodies. She couldn’t quite make out Daniel, but she knew he was there. Fighting.

Something tightened in her chest.

She fought for a breath and ignored the strange feeling. Now was her chance. She struggled to her feet, swayed a dangerous moment; then the dizziness passed.

“You ought to stay put. Jesse’s hunting for the doctor. Someone really should take a look at you before you do so much moving around.”

“I’m fine. Daniel just knocked the wind out of me.”
She took a deep breath, located her purse, and retrieved the papers.

“I still think you ought to stay put.”

She thrust the papers at him and rummaged inside her purse for a pen.

“What’s this?”

“You know good and well what they are. Sign them.”

He shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Please.” She blinked at a sudden onslaught of tears. “Just do this for me, Bradley. I’ve never asked anything from you.”

“Liar. You always ask for the moon.”

“Then I’m asking again. The kids need you; you need them. This is the right thing.”

“They need
you
.”

She shook her head. “They need me the way I used to be, but not now … I’ve changed. I’m different. I’m no good for them.” And they’re no good for me, she added silently.

Nobody’s savior
.

He stared long and hard at her and she resisted the urge to snatch back the papers and rip them into tiny little shreds.

“You’re sure this is what you want?”

She nodded and reluctantly, Bradley put pen to paper.

“The doctor’s tied up, but he said to give you this ice pack and he’ll be here in a few minutes—” Jesse burst through the door, his words falling short when he saw the documents in Faith’s hands. “What the hell are you doing?”

She stuffed the signed papers in her purse, took the ice pack from Jesse, and held it to her head. “Leaving, if one of you will give me a ride. I don’t feel like waiting for the bus. Bradley, how about it?”

“I—” he started, but his voice was quickly drowned by Jesse’s furious growl.

“I’m talking about the papers. He signed them, didn’t he?”

“I think I’ll go check on Daniel.” Bradley beat a hasty retreat to the door. “I’ll be down the hall if you need that ride.”

“I do—”

“Answer me, Faith,” Jesse cut in. “Bradley signed the papers, the ones assuming responsibility for Faith’s House, didn’t he?”

The door rocked shut and silence pressed in, disrupted only by her quick breaths and the furious thudding of her heart.

“Yes.” She stared up at him. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

He ran frustrated hands over his face, looking as if she’d just confessed to murder. “Like hell … This
is
my business. You’re my business. Haven’t you figured that out by now?” Before she could answer, his expression hardened. “I won’t let you do this.” He held out his hand. “Give me those papers.”

“Excuse me?” She held her ground, barely resisting the urge to turn tail and run. But she wouldn’t. She had her own anger to contend with, and it was all directed at him. “For your information, you’re not my father, and you can’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m the next-best thing,” he said in a growl, his eyes gleaming with a predatory light. And for the space of a heartbeat she was standing in her bedroom, staring at his reflection in the window, seeing his pain and heartache and hunger. Then …

Then nothing, because last night Jesse Savage had walked away. But this was now and he seemed braced for a fight.

“The next-best thing is a husband,” she countered. “Not a one-night stand.”

“I mean it, Faith. Hand them over.” He looked ready to throttle her, but she wasn’t intimidated. The hurt and anger of a night spent alone boiled inside her. It didn’t matter that he’d warned her against getting too close to him.
No tomorrows
. Or that she knew she’d be better off without him, since he was as committed to Faith’s House and the kids as she’d once been.

Nothing mattered except the frustration, indignation, resentment—the feelings swirling like a tempest inside her.

“I
said
, hand them over,” he said.

“And I said no. N-O.” She enunciated each letter. “What part don’t you understand?”

He threw up his hands. “I’m already in hell.
You’re
my hell. And here I thought I was trying to escape the future, when all along I’m smack-dab in the middle of it.”

She frowned, her anger momentarily forgotten. “What are you talking about?”

“No, I won’t let you do it,” he went on, ignoring her question as he delivered his final ultimatum. “Either give me those papers, or I’ll take them off you. Your choice.”

“Well, then.” She laughed harshly. “At least I get a choice. Let me see …” She feigned a thoughtful expression. “How about I choose to walk out of here?”

“That’s not one of the choices.” He reached for her and she dodged his grip.

“Then how about this?” Her palm hit the stubbled warmth of his jaw in a stinging slap that sent an echoing wave of pain clear to her shoulder. Then she
whirled and stormed from the room, purse and papers firmly in hand.

Her bravado fled the minute she reached the hallway and the reality of what she’d done hit her like a blow to her own face. She’d actually hit him! She, Faith Jansen, who had never hit anyone or harmed anything in her life, had hit another human being out of anger.

Granted, justified anger, but anger nonetheless.

Shame rolled through her, and a strange sense of urgency. She needed escape. Space to collect her thoughts, to sort through the emotions distorting her brain.

She started walking. A door opened somewhere behind her and she knew it was Jesse. The unmistakable thud of his boots rang in her ears, urging her to walk faster.

She wouldn’t make it outside before he caught up. She knew it. Her steps weren’t quick enough and his were long and swift, determined. She rounded the corner and darted into the ladies’ room. Just let him try to follow her in here—

The door slammed open and Jesse stood there, murder in his dark eyes.

“Nice try. Now give me those papers.”

“No.”

The stall behind Faith creaked open and she turned to see a frightened old lady peering through the handspan of space.

“You’re insane,” Faith told Jesse. “Could you try to show a little decency and leave me alone? You’re not getting the damned papers.”

“That’s a matter of opinion.” He stepped inside, held the door open, and motioned to the sole member of their audience.

The old lady swished open the stall door and
darted for the exit. The bathroom door shut behind her. Jesse flipped the lock and Faith found herself alone, trapped, with Jesse Savage.

“You can’t do this,” he told her, desperation creeping across his features.

“And just who are you to tell me what to do?”

“I’m somebody …” He paused to swallow, as if the words were getting caught in the sudden tightness of his throat. “I’m somebody who cares about you.”

Joy leaped through her, only to die a quick death. He’d left her. He’d loved her, then left her, and the emptiness of last night refused to be consoled by words. Especially when she knew they were just that. Words. A statement meant to get her to hand over the papers.

“You’ll have to come up with a better reason than that. The back of your head told a different story last night.”

He loomed closer, a dangerous light in his eyes. “You think I left last night because I didn’t care about you?”

“That’s the way most people would take it. Let’s see, breakfast in bed usually means things went well, but you didn’t stick around long enough for even a midnight snack.”

“And you’re an expert when it comes to the morning after?” He raised an eyebrow at her and a wave of heat crept into her cheeks, sabotaging her forced control.

“No,” she admitted, and the one word brought a smile to his lips.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, his expression serious once again. “I couldn’t stay.”

“Because you didn’t want to.”

“Because there was no point to it. Last night never
should have happened in the first place. It was a mistake.”

Mistake
. The word pounded through her head, fueling her anger and bringing fresh tears to her eyes.

Tears, of all things.

She was the insane one. Last night
was
a mistake. He’d never once made her any promises. He’d even warned her, and she’d been foolish not to listen. It was her mistake. She knew what sort of a man he was—the commitment-fearing, love-’em-and-leave-’em type. Yet, a part of her had hoped to change all that. Not at first. At first she’d meant what she’d said. She didn’t want more. No tomorrows, just one night. But now, she realized in a heartbreaking moment that she wanted him to want her for more than one night.

Forever.

Insane
.