Authors: Evan Kelsey
"Thank
you." I say, as she closes the door.
Getting on the table and sitting on the
white paper I wait for the doctor. I'm nervous something
could be seriously wrong with me. The Doctor comes in
after giving a short knock. A young woman in her mid-thirties walks
in. She has short brown hair and a nice smile.
"Hello,
Eva. I'm Doctor Emily Pratt. What seems to be the trouble
today?"
"I think
its stress but I keep throwing up at weird times."
"It very
well could be. Why are you stressed?"
I tell
her about my breakup and the media attention. She nods and listens
politely. "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?"
"No, I'm
on the pill." I reply, then instantly remembering the times I
missed talking my pill. "I missed a couple days." I admit. Why the
hell didn't I think about that? IDIOT!
"Well,
let's take one now." She smiles.
"But I'm
losing weight, not gaining." I point out.
"Which is
typical with about 80% of pregnancies. You may have a serve case of
morning sickness."
I nod.
What if I'm pregnant? How do I tell Ruxin. "Okay."
"Here,
take this into the bathroom collect a urine sample and leave it for
the nurse." I take the clear cup and go to the bathroom collecting
my sample and leaving it to be tested.
I go back
to the room and wait for the results. I'm terrified I could be
pregnant. Is this what my mother felt like when she got pregnant
with me? Alone and scared. I feel my rage for William soar. What a
cheating asshole!
Minute's
tick by slowly until the doctor walks back in.
"Well, you're pregnant. I can't say how far along
you are, but I can guess its under 14 weeks since you're still
suffering from morning sickness."
"You're
sure?" I question, dazed.
"Yes,
we're sure. You need to find an OBGYN and schedule an appointment.
I can write you a prescription for prenatal vitamin's but you
need an ultrasound to pin point your due date."
"Thanks."
I reply, taking the prescription.
"This is
next prescription is for a anti-nausea medication. Since you lost
so much weight its essential that you take it until you feel
better. Its called metoclopramide and its fine to take with your
pregnancy." She explains, nicely.
I nod
that I understand and she hands me the slip. I thank her and
walkout in a complete fog. I have no other choice, I have to tell
Ruxin before the three hens tell him. He deserves to hear it from
me. walking up to the guys I compose myself as best as I can, but
fail bursting into tears.
"What is
it?" Dave asks, alarmed.
"I need
to talk to Ruxin right away." I demand. Dave
realizes what is going on before the others and I
plead with him with my eyes not to say anything. He nods and
we start walking out to the car. We all get in and Robert pulls
into traffic.
Robert parks in front of Ruxin's work I get out
with Dave and Russell Barns, my other security man. They rush me
into the building and I nervously make my way to the elevators with
both men behind me. My heart is racing with the thought of see
Ruxin again. I haven't thought of what to say or do. Should I tell
him I love him first? Or tell him about the baby?
Putting
my hand on my stomach as nausea rolls through me I take a deep
breath and breathe through it. I step onto the elevator taking it
to Ruxin's office. By the time the doors open I'm on the verge of
being ill. Running off the elevator I find the nearest trash can
and empty my already empty stomach. Dave hands me a glass of
water, I rinse my mouth out and take a tentative sip, hoping it
stays down.
"Thanks.
Sorry, about that." I apologize.
I sigh
and start towards Ruxin's office door. I wave at a startled Julia
who waves back and watches as I knock on the dark wood door. Ruxin
opens it still talking to someone on the phone. He looks taken
aback by my presence but opens the door wide, inviting me
in.
He ends
the phone call abruptly and turns to stand in front of me. "What is
it?"
"I have
something's to say." I reply, nervously wringing my hands
together.
"I
already know you're moving back to Michigan. Its probably for the
best." I tense up when I hear, 'its for the best' and don't know
how to reply. "I'm sure the pap's won't follow you there. Did you
come to say goodbye?"
How can
he look at me and act like I meant nothing? His eyes are cold like
my presence is bugging him and interrupting his busy day. "No, I
didn't come to say goodbye." I state, finding my voice.
"Then
what is it? I have a busy day today."
I feel
the tears start to rise and turn away quickly. "Its not important.
Sorry, for interrupting your day." I turn the door handle and
his hand reaches over my head closing it
roughly.
"Just say
what you have to say, Eva."
I rest my
head on the door as my stomach flips again. "I realized I'm pushing
you away. I didn't want to love you. I didn't want to turn into my
mother if you ever left me. I do love you." He doesn't respond for
a few seconds.
"You
shouldn't. I'm not the one for you. You were right." He says,
sadly. I stand up straight as he opens the door from behind me. His
hand at the small of my back urges me forward and I walk away,
keeping my head down until I hear the door to his office close.
Seeing the trash can next to Julia I fall to my knees dry heaving
into it. When the feeling subsides I look up and apologize. "I'm
sorry."
"Are you
alright?" She asks concerned.
"No, but
I will be. Thanks." I shakily stand up with Dave's help and we make
our way to the elevator. I see Xavier as the doors open and he
immidatly pulls me to him.
"What the
hell is going on? What happened?" He questions, his eyes raking my
tear stained face.
I scoff.
"How much time do you have?"
"Tell
me." He demands.
I wipe at
my tears and motion for him to bend down. He does what I ask
and I whisper to him, "I'm pregnant."
He
straightens up so quickly he startles me. "You told
him?"
"I
tried." I answer.
"What do
you mean?"
"I mean
he told me to go. He shoved me out of his office." I say,
bitterly.
"Why
would he do that?"
I look
down. "I told him that I love him, he told me not to." I reply,
breathless from crying so hard.
Xavier
pulls me close and rubs my back trying to offer comfort. "You're
going to have to tell him.
"I know,
but he's busy today." I cry.
"I swear
to God I'm going to kill that man." He says, angrily. "Do you want
me to come over?"
"No, I
just want to get my prescription's and go home to sleep. Thanks,
Xavier."
"Call me,
please? So, I know you're okay."
"I will."
I agree walking off the elevator with Dave and Russell.
Ruxin Novak
I shut
the door and walk away from it quickly, not wanting the temptation
to run after her win out. She's better off without me I know
that, now. I sit in my chair not able to concentrate on anything
but the fact that she loves me. She loves me and I all but pushed
her out of my office. Running my hands over my face and into
my hair I groan. "What the hell did I just do?"
I don't
know how much time passes as I sit and agonize over how I
treated Eva and the look on her face when I pretended not to
care that she was moving back to Michigan. A pounding on my office
door gets my attention and a very angry Xavier storms
in.
"You
goddamn fucking prick!" He yells at me.
"What the
hell do you want?" I ask in no mood to talk.
"I want
you to fix that destroyed woman I just seen leave your
office."
I shake
my head. "She doesn't need me."
He nods
as if he's agreeing with me. "I'm glad. Gives me a chance then
doesn't it?"
I glare
at him. "Don't go anywhere near her."
"Why not?
Its not like you have any say about that anymore. As a matter of
fact I'm sure she wouldn't mind going out for a little cheering
up." He states, making it sound like a warning.
"Don't
fucking start with me Xavier." I demand.
"I don't
want anything to do with you. I'm happy you're out of the picture,
but don't ever treat her like she's piece of trash that needs
to be taken out."
I sit
back down and lean forward setting my elbows on the desk and
gripping my pounding head. "Get out." I say, tiredly.
"Gladly.
One last thing before I go. When she contacts you next time, I'd
listen." He states, slamming the door.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hold
the palms of my hands over my eyes as Russell walks into Walgreens
to get my prescription's filled. What did I do? I didn't tell Ruxin
and know I have to tell him over the phone like a coward. I
sigh in frustration.
"What
exactly did Mr. Novak say?" Dave asks, quietly.
"He told
me not to love him and booted me out of his office." I
answer, honestly.
"Why
didn't you tell him about the," He coughs
uncomfortably, "other thing." He asks, shifting in his
seat.
I let my hands drop to my lap. "I told him I loved him
and he told me to get out. What was I supposed to do, Dave? Tell
him I'm-" Remembering that Robert is in the front seat I stop. "I
wasn't that desperate to get him to let me stay. He wanted me to
leave, so I left."
"He would
want to take care of you. If he kne-"
I quickly
interrupt. "I don't need him to take care of me. If he doesn't want
anything to do with me that's fine. We can discuss the
other thing later. We have time, its not coming
tomorrow."
"He'll
want-"
I throw
up my hands. "Please, Dave. You weren't there. Don't tell me
what Ruxin would want, because right now I don't
care."
"He loves
you." He states, firmly.
"He did,
not anymore." I argue. "I ruined everything."
"That's
bullshit." He shoots back. I shrug, I know he's wrong. I should
have never showed up at his office. After how I acted I shouldn't
be surprised by the way he treated me. I'm an idiot for
expecting him to forgive me.
"Well, it
doesn't matter. He has a busy day today and my declaration of love
wasn't enough. You wont tell him will you? You'll let me?" I ask. I
know that he won't. He may work for Ruxin but he and I have become
friends. He is the first person I would call if something were
wrong. I guess you become close when you're holding back someone's
hair as they vomit at all times of the day.
"Of
course. Even though he'll probably fire me when he finds
out."
I smile a
true smile at him. It feels like my first true smile in weeks.
"Thanks, for everything." I say, grateful to him.
"You're
welcome." He nods back sincerely. "But next time I'm sick I expect
you to take care of me."
I smile at his joke and look back out the window. I
watch as rain starts to hit the window, willing
myself to forget the image of Ruxin in that office, perfectly
dressed his eyes cold and aloof. Still, I see his face and his lack
of emotion. I rub my arms feeling the chill of his voice even
now.
We're
quiet until Russell comes back sliding in beside me. He hands me
the white bags and I look over to Dave. "I know what's going
on. Does, Mr. Novak know?" Russell asks, sounding
serious.
I've been
so focused on what happened at the office I didn't think about the
prescription's giving away my secret. "Tell me you didn't call
him." Dave says.
"No,
although I should. I felt like an idiot when the pharmacist
congratulated me on my wife's pregnancy and wished me good luck
with the baby." Russell responds, sounding put out. My eyes go wide
and I try to hold in my laughter but I end up giving up and
laughing loudly. The image of Russell picking up the prenatal
vitamin's and his shocked expression when the pharmacists
congratulated him is too much. "Its not funny. I looked so shocked
the man apologized for ruining the surprise."
Dave
throws back his head laughing even harder and I join him. When I
hear Robert join us I look over to Russell who is trying hard not
to smile, I get a hold of myself and turn to face him. "You can't
tell Ruxin." I say to him. Then meet Robert's eyes in the review
mirror. "Please." I plead. If anyone needs to be told explicitly
not to tell Ruxin its Robert. I see him constantly on his phone and
I can only assume he's talking to Ruxin.
"Don't
worry about me. I figured it out when you and Dave were talking."
Robert replies. "Its not our business to say anything. You will
tell him though?" He asks, making sure i don't plan to keep this
from Ruxin.