Falcon Song: A love story (24 page)

When Kennen began to squirm, Jason carefully let him back down and brushed an embarrassed hand across his eyes. Gretchen didn’t appear to want to be left out, and she reached for Jason as well and he gladly took her and got one of her huggers too and was nearly overwhelmed again. Even before Kate had walked away, he’d wanted to get married and start a family. He’d wanted it then. He wanted it even more now.

Kate was watching him as she picked Kennen back up and Jason brushed at his eyes again and put a hand against Gretchen’s back and then gently reached and touched Kennen’s soft, dark curls. He was absolutely perfect. He couldn’t even believe it. He had a son.

They heard a sound from the other room and there was a knock and someone said, “Knock, knock, Kate. Where are you?” A pretty, blonde young woman came in carrying a carton of strawberries and stopped short when she saw Jason. “Oh, I’m sorry; I didn’t realize y’all had company. I was just going to pick up Gretchen.” Her voice trailed off as she looked him and then looked back at Kennen and back at Jason a couple of times as she compared them and her eyes got big. “Excuse me, but aren’t you? You’re that country music singer, aren’t you? Jason Falcon?”

Jason nodded and she looked back and forth between Kate and Jason and Kennen for another moment and looked puzzled as she said, “Kate, I thought you said that your husband was dead.”

Jason looked at Kate, wondering if he had just caused a problem, but Kate simply smiled at the puzzled woman and said, “He is, Elise. He died a couple of months ago. This is Jason Falcon and …” She hesitated for a moment and then said, “And as I think you probably just figured out, he’s Kennen’s father. It’s a long story. I’ll tell you sometime.”

Elise put the carton of strawberries on the counter top, took Gretchen and grinned at the other three. “Yes, I’d like that very much. Thanks for watching her. She loves Kennen and it’s great to be able to just run in.”

Kate nodded. “I know what you mean. I’ll get even with you probably tomorrow. It’s amazing how much faster you can go somewhere toddler free.” She patted Gretchen on the head. “See you, Gretchen. Thank you for being such a good princess. Come again, okay.”

Gretchen took the ever present finger out of her mouth and said, “Weltum. Bye-bye Tennen. Yuv you.”

She put the finger back in her mouth and the two of them went out the way her mother had come in and Jason laughed as Kennen yelled after them at the top of his lungs, “Bye, Dwetch.”

Jason shook his head and laughed again. “Tennen and Dwetch. Why am I reminded of you and Kennen twenty years ago?”

Kate finally smiled a hint of the old smile he remembered. “Because we were as adorable as these two are.” She sighed and then asked, “Have you eaten?” Maybe she was finally going to loosen up after all.

“Are you kidding? I haven’t even breathed since Cody showed up. Can I take you out somewhere?”

She shook her head and smiled sadly. “No. I don’t think so. I barely got my respectability back and you and Kennen just blew it out of the water again. I don’t think Elise will say too much, but I might not be so lucky with someone else. How about chicken parmasiana at the kitchen table? Would that be okay?”

“Heaven. Can I help?”

“Absolutely. Did you ever learn to chop?”

“Mmm, no. Sorry. There’s not a whole lot of opportunity to cook in music.”

“Then can you handle washing his hands and face and checking his diaper?”

“Yes, I can. I’m sure of it. I think. I’m good with all of it except that last. If I yell, would y’all come save me?”

“Save you, or save him?”

“Well, whoever might be in need of saving. Just come if I call.”

“Gotcha.” She nodded toward the hall. “First door on the left.”

Five minutes later, she poked her head around the corner into the bathroom to find him and Kennen sitting on the floor together playing with the tub toys. “I wondered why it was so quiet. How was his diaper?”

“Diaper’s good. Huh, buddy?”

Kennen chugged a toy boat up Jason’s arm. “Yup! Dipo dood.”

Kate wrinkled her nose. “So then, what’s that smell?”

Kennen drove the boat back down and said, “Yucky dipo!”

Unfazed, Jason said, “That’s the old one.” He indicated the wadded diaper that sat beside them on the floor. “Where does it live?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “In the diaper pail.” Kennen jumped up and he and Kate showed Jason how to put the smelly diaper into the garbage bag part of the pail and twist the top so it didn’t smell any more. Then she sprayed air freshener over the top of the two of them. “Just in case.”

She went back out and Jason heard her mellow laugh as she walked back up the hall. He had no idea that a one year old kid could be this much fun. Or that a mother could be that sexy either one and he said to Kennen, “Hey, let’s go help Mommy, shall we?”

“Yup!” Kennen jumped up and ran as fast as his miniature legs would carry him back to the kitchen and slammed himself into her leg as she stood at the sink.

She glanced down, automatically wiped her hands on the towel she had tied around her waist and bent down and picked him up to put him on the kitchen counter. She began to tug his clothes back into place and tuck his under shirt back in. There seemed to be a problem and she finally had Kennen lay down flat and she undid the snaps on his minute overalls. “Okay, here’s the problem. We’re snapped up backwards.” She redid the snaps and set him down and he took off back down the hall. Kate smiled as she turned back to the vegetables she was washing. “Don’t worry; it took me weeks to learn to get his diaper on securely.”

“Does he always go everywhere that fast?”

“Only when he’s excited. There are times when he’ll watch an ant for half an hour. Then he’ll try to eat it. Do you still like cheese on your broccoli?”

“Yes. I thought you hated broccoli.”

“I do.” She dumped broccoli into a bowl and put some plastic wrap over it. “Parenthood makes you do strange things. I don’t want him to dislike it. It’s good for him.” She shrugged and Jason grinned at her.

“You’re really cute as a mother.”

She glanced over at him and said, “You haven’t seen me when I’m really tired. I’m not cute at two in the morning when he’s throwing up.”

Jason leaned back against the counter and folded his arms. “I have seen you when you’re tired. You’re still cute. And you’re cute at two in the morning. And you’re not as cute, but there’s still something about you when you’re throwing up.”

Kate rolled her eyes at him. “That’s gross, Jason.”

“You’re the one who brought it up.”

“I’m just trying to get the point across that he’s not all fun and games, Jase. I know you think you’re all the sudden going to be a dad now, but it’s harder than it seems.”

“I am all the sudden a dad, no matter what I think. C’mon, Kate. Help me out here. I’ve known I was a parent for all of what? Two and a half hours. I know you’re not thrilled that I showed up here, but go with me on this for just a little while. At least consider forgiving me and burying the hatchet. For his sake.” His voice lowered as he pleaded softly, “This is a good day for me. Let me enjoy it.”

She got quiet and it took him a minute to realize she was crying over the cheese she was slicing and he came over to her and put a hand on her shoulder and looked down into her face. “Don’t cry, baby. It’s going to be all right. I swear it is.”

She shook her head and wiped at her tears with the back of her hand. “Jason, you don’t understand.”

“So help me understand. And don’t wipe your tears with a knife in your hand. Y’all are gonna poke your eye out.”

He’d been trying to make her laugh, and she did. And then he pulled her against him in a hug and whispered in a husky voice in her ear, “Kate, babe. It’s been a long time, and we’ve been through hell. But we’ve learned and grown and gotten stronger and better for it. And when it all comes down to it. We’re still just Jason and Kate. I haven’t seen you in almost two years and I can still tell what you’re thinking. I still know how to make you laugh. I still even know where you’re ticklish, so y’all had better straighten up and quit fighting me. Just let me help you. I promise I won’t screw up this time. Well, I may screw up, but it won’t be in such a colossal manner and it certainly won’t involve alcohol or other women. I’ve learned. I swear I have.”

She shook her head against his chest. “You have no idea what I think anymore, Jason Falcon.”

Putting a hand into the back of her hair, he tugged on it until she tipped her head back and looked up at him and he met her eyes and said seriously, “Yeah, I do, Kate. Right now, you’re wondering if it would be worth it to sell this house and disappear again, or if I’d come after you this time.” She looked up at him, startled and he knew he’d been right. That’s just what she’d been thinking. “The answers are no, and yes. Don’t run again. At least give me a chance. Just one. That’s all I ask. If I blow it, you can walk away and I’ll leave y’all both alone. I promise. And if you do decide to go anyway without giving me a chance, I’m coming after you this time. I’ll follow you two to the ends of the earth. So please don’t.” He leaned back into her ear and whispered, “Please don’t, Kate. Life is hell without you.”

She snuggled into his chest and began to cry again and without raising her head, she said, “I can’t do it. I’ve sacrificed so much so he didn’t have to be fought over and have to deal with the parties and the groupies and the paparazzi and trashy standards. I can’t do that to him, Jason. He needs to be able to grow up and know that values and morals and fidelity are important and vital. He needs to be taught that good people don’t drink and carouse. He needs roots, Jason. Roots to be able to know who he is and what he’s capable of and how to reach his potential.”

He pulled her closer and basked in the feel of her breath on his neck. “You’re right about all those things, Kate. But me being part of your lives doesn’t mean he can’t have that. I can help you teach him all those things. He does need roots, Kate. And that’s one thing he won’t have if y’all keep hiding. He’s got some grandparents who would love to be able to spend some time with him. He does need roots and I’ll help you provide those. But Kate, he needs roots and wings. You both do. You both need to be able to fly when you want to. You’re a Falcon too, Kate. You have been since you were sixteen.”

Leaning his face against her temple, he breathed in the smell of her skin and fought the urge to kiss that soft spot between her eye brow and her hair and lost. With infinite gentleness, he kissed her tenderly. “Just one chance, Kate. Please. Just give me one chance.”

She finally looked up and he began to drown in the indigo blue of her eyes. He wanted to kiss her mouth more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life, but he was afraid she’d freak out on him if he did. Then she glanced down at his mouth and swallowed hard and looked back up and he knew she wanted it as much as he did. He slowly began to lower his head, watching her eyes. If he saw fear there, he’d stop.

He never saw it and finally, after what felt like days, his mouth took hers and he closed his eyes and lost himself in the feel of her mouth under his. Oh, but he’d dreamed of holding her and kissing her again like this. He wanted to melt in the tenderness of her mouth and never even consider coming up for air.

At first, he kissed her so softly he could barely feel her emotion as she softly touched him back, and then slowly, he felt her remember how they used to be and when she finally leaned closer to him, he kissed her with all the pent up hope and need and fear and despair and every other myriad of emotions he’d been feeling for these two years and she met him half way. This was his soul mate. The other half of his life and without her his wings were tied. Broken. With her…

He groaned and wrapped his arms around her like he’d dreamed of so many thousand times. With her, he could fly anywhere. She tasted just like she’d always tasted and it was the flavor of fantasy. The flavor of forever and always, all rolled in to one moment.

He kissed her until his breath was coming in ragged gasps and he wanted to breathe her right into his brain. Until he could feel her breathing match his own and her heartbeat through both of their shirts and he lost all track of time and there was nothing but her mouth under his and her body pressing close with almost a feeling of desperation. It was as if this was all a dream and they were afraid they’d wake up and it would disappear, so they needed to revel in it while they could before it was gone.

Maybe if he kissed her like he wanted to, she’d begin to understand how it still was with him. That he worshipped her and that without her, life held no meaning or color or heat. Maybe if he kissed her with enough feeling she’d realize…

Kennen grabbed his pant leg and pulled himself up and Jason knew he must have had hold of Kate’s too because the spell was broken and he could feel her back away emotionally. He groaned again and pulled her even closer as he finally released her mouth. “Kate.” His voice was so husky he almost didn’t recognize it as he put his face against her sweet smelling hair. She hid hers against him and drew a shuddering breath as he admitted, “I’ve dreamed of kissing you, Kate. I’ve dreamed of your taste. All these months and years, you’ve haunted me.”

He still held her tightly and never wanted to let go, but Kennen began to pound on their legs with his little fists to get their attention and finally, Jason leaned down and picked the little boy up and lifted him into the circle of their arms. He sighed one more time. This was the way they were supposed to be. He was sure of it. He put a gentle finger under Kate’s chin to get her to look up at him and then he bent to kiss her one more time, more gently, but with out losing any of that same passion that arced between them.