Falling (Bits and Pieces, Book 1) (9 page)

Okay. Now I knew he had to be lying. Even more so, I couldn’t look at him now. I muttered, “You said you’d tell me the truth.”

“Look at me.” I couldn’t tell if his gentle voice was ordering me or pleading with me.

“Uh-uh.”

“If you did, you can see that I’m telling you the truth.”

Okay. It would be easier to know if he was telling the truth if I looked in his eyes. It’s always harder for people to lie to you when you looked them in the eye. Not impossible. But harder. The whole ‘eyes are the window to your soul thing’. He was only ever nice to me, so there shouldn’t be anything dark about his soul. It was still scary for me though. I steeled myself for whatever I saw. I lifted my head and looked in his eyes.

He spoke slowly and deliberately. “You have the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard. Really. There is such, I don’t know… love, heartache, emotion in it. It conveys so much. It’s amazing. You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit. You’re almost a different person when you sing. You have to audition.”

I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting to here
that
. He had to be telling me the truth. He never wavered from looking at me directly in the eyes. He seemed genuine in his comments. He had never given me any reason to doubt him before. But still… it was hard for me to process. I searched and searched my brain for something to say. The only thing that came to mind was, “Okay.”

“Okay? So you believe me? That you’re great?”

“I guess.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Who told you that you were bad? ‘Cause you’re not.” He insisted.

“It doesn’t matter.” I muttered.

“Well, it seems to matter to you.” He pointed out.

“My mom.” I answered without any emotion.

“What? Like when you were a kid or something?” He couldn’t seem to believe it. Wait, it gets better.

I thought about it. “No. Well, probably. But she did just last week.”

I tried to push down the tears that I felt welling up in my eyes. I was fighting with myself to maintain control. I was not going to lose it at school, in Mr. D’s room, in front of him. I had always successfully drawn that line and I had to continue to do it.

“Normally, I say, listen to your parents. But, damn.” He shook his head in disgust. “This time… don’t. I don’t know them or anything, and they are your parents, but your mom is wrong.
Really
wrong about this. Trust me.”

I cleared my throat and nodded. “Okay.”

“So, you’ll do the audition?”

“You really think I’m okay?”

“Yes! You’re great!” He seemed so sure.

I bit my inside cheek. I really wanted to believe him. I wanted to think that I was decent and wouldn’t look stupid trying out. I could take not getting the part, I just couldn’t take embarrassing myself. If I was okay, like Patrick said, then I could take the risk. I didn’t need the part for validation, but it would be nice.

“So… will you?” He asked again.

“Okay. I’ll audition, but don’t tell anyone.” Please don’t tell anyone.

“Okay, but why?” He would never understand.

“I don’t need it somehow getting back to my folks.” That would not be good. I wouldn’t be able to take any negativity at this point. I was confused enough about it with Patrick and my mom saying contradicting things. I was choosing to believe Patrick, which would send my mom off the deep end.

“Fair enough.” I was glad he was letting it go at that and I didn’t have to explain further.

“We should get back to work on the lab before Mr. D gets back.” I got up and walked back over to where we were working.

We were almost done with the lab when Mr. D returned. He apologized for being gone so long and asked if we had any problems with our lab. We worked out a couple issues we had and finished it up. Everything worked great. We were ready to film it on Monday. I was relieved to have that to cross off my list.

6. AUDITION

The weekend was like it usually is. Boring. I got my homework done, watched TV and DVDs. There was a family party on Sunday that I had to go to. I spent the party making small talk with aunties and uncles. It was the same conversation over and over again –
How is school? What grade are you in now?
Eat! Eat!
Adults don’t know how to talk to kids, not that they really cared what I thought. When I was lucky enough to not be talking to them, I was reading. It was a book I had to read for English, so it was a good excuse to keep busy.

I knew I had to ask my parents about next weekend. After avoiding it all weekend, Sunday night I finally asked my mom. She gave me the evil eye and acted like I wanted to run off to
Las Vegas
with a guy to get married. I sat there letting her talk and talk. There was no point to argue with her, it would only make her mad and I wouldn’t be able to go. I just tried to tune her out. When she started sounding reasonable again, I reminded her it was for a class assignment, showed her the paper and reiterated that it wasn’t a date. Hell, his little brother was even going to be there. That Saturday was my cousin Kathleen’s birthday. The only way she would let me go to the carnival was to go to Kathleen’s immediately after. She also insisted that I didn’t drive. She wanted Patrick to drive, so she could meet him. Again, not that it was a date, but there would be no talking her out of it, if I wanted to go.

* * *

On Monday, Patrick brought in his video camera and we filmed the video portion of our lab.

“Can you go to the carnival?” Patrick asked as he reset our project.

“Yeah...” Now I had to find some way to ask him if he would drive.

“Cool. You want a ride? I can pick you up.”

Well, that was easy. I guess I didn’t have to ask. “Sure, if you don’t mind.”

“I wouldn’t offer if I did.” He smiled.

* * *

I brought in my laptop during the week, so we could work on editing the video. I rehearsed every chance I got. Every minute I got the house to myself, I practiced. I practiced in my car to and from school. Auditions were at the end of the week. I was ready as I would ever be.

Before I knew it, the week was over. Friday after school, I went to the auditorium. Part of me wanted to go first, to get it over with and so no one could compare me against who I followed. Mrs. Marshall and two other teachers were on the judging panel. The auditorium itself was about a quarter full. Some of the students were there to audition, others were there to support their friends.

Mrs. Marshall posted the order of auditions. I was fourth. Two of the girls, Jackie and Grace, before me were great singers. They had private lessons and had been singing since elementary school. I really wished that I didn’t have to follow them. I sat in the back row center of the auditorium to wait for my turn. My heart pounded as I waited.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Patrick walk down my row toward me. I wasn’t expecting him to come.

“Hey, Liz.”

“Hi. I see you’re working on accessorizing. Nice purse.” If I wasn’t so nervous, I would have laughed.

He held up the pink and brown plaid purse. “You think? I didn’t think it matched my shoes, but I like to live on the edge of fashion.” He laughed.

“Well, it does make a statement.”

“It’s Becca’s. She’s in the restroom.” He explained.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have practice?”

“We have a game tonight. So, no practice. It’s at
Pines
Academy
. You’re welcome to come…” His face lit up when he talked about the game.

I interrupted him. “Thanks. But I don’t think so. My folks won’t let me. They’re letting me go to tomorrow, so I’m not pushing my luck.”

“That’s what I figured. But I thought I’d ask.” He sounded a little disappointed. He quickly changed the subject. “Anyway… tomorrow. Andy and I will pick you up at around 2:00.”

“Okay. Did the directions I gave you make sense?” I hoped they did. I really suck at directions. Even to my own house. It wasn’t like I had a bunch of people coming over to hang out at my place, so the only time I had given directions out was to relatives. And I rarely did that.

“Yeah. But, just in case, I have GPS. So, I should be fine.”

Becca walked up to us. “Paddy, who’s the stray?”

Patrick turned to her and shook his head. “Becca, this is Liz.” He pointed to me. He looked at me. “Liz, Becca, my girlfriend.”

“Hi.” I suddenly felt microscopic and insignificant. She was tall, but then again just about anyone was taller than me, with long beautiful highlighted blond hair that was movie perfect. She carried this attitude like nothing bothered her. Clearly, she got what she wanted. The purse that Patrick held for her matched her outfit perfectly. I wore clothes. She wore outfits.

“Liz the lab partner?” She asked him.

“Yes.” Never thought that it was part of my name, but okay.

“Hi, Liz. Hope he doesn’t bore you with all that science stuff, like he does with me. Just do what I do, nod and let him do whatever and it’ll be painless.” She really believed that. I couldn’t believe it. She actually thought she was offering useful advice.

“Umm…” I looked at Patrick. What was I supposed to say to that?

“Becca, there are girls that like science. Liz does.”

“Come on. Let’s go.” She was impatient. Or bored. I couldn’t tell.

“Go? I thought you wanted to watch the auditions.” He was puzzled.

“Well, yeah. But I want to sit with Grace.” She grabbed her purse from him and started to walk away. “Come on.”

He slowly stood up, looked at me and rolled his eyes. “I gotta go. Well, good luck.”

Becca turned back. “Good luck? Oh, Liz… you’re trying out?”

“Yeah, I am.” There was no reason to hide it, she would find out soon enough.

“Well, then… good luck. You’re gonna need it.” She was snide.

“Becca!” Patrick was shocked at her remark.

“What?! She does… if she thinks she’s better than Grace.” She didn’t seem to have the ability to be honest and polite at the same time. Maybe she didn’t care. She was snotty. I didn’t know her, but I already didn’t like her. I didn’t get a good feeling from her.

“How would you know?” He challenged.

“Paddy, let’s go already.” She took his hand and pulled him in her direction.

He whispered to me, “Ignore her.”

Becca wrapped her arms around him as they walked to the front to sit with Grace.

As expected, Jackie was amazing. She exuded confidence and poise. She knew she was good, everyone did. Her friends cheered as she hit the final notes of her song. The audience applauded loudly at the end.

It went pretty much the same way with Grace. Her voice filled the auditorium. She looked like a natural on stage. She hit every note perfectly. The cheers and applause for her were just as loud as for Jackie. I saw Becca jump up enthusiastically and give Grace a hug once she got back to her seat.

I didn’t envy the teachers judging. I couldn’t pick between the two of them. Why did I think I could do this? Maybe Becca was right. At least I wasn’t immediately after them. I took solace in that. My stomach was doing cartwheels. My pulse raced.