Falling for You (5 page)

I checked my phone again. Ten minutes late. What kind of guy makes a girl wait for him, especially on their first date? I should have gotten his phone number. I started to text Alix when Nathan slid into the seat across from me.

He smiled at me and it was like someone had opened the blinds and let in the sunshine. “Hey, beautiful. Good to see you.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe. “I was beginning to think you’d stood me up.”

He reached across the table and took my hand. “Nah. I’d never do that to you. It’d be a crime to leave a gorgeous girl like you alone.”

I sat there, speechless, because what was I supposed to say to that?

“I should order our pizza. Combination okay with you?” Nathan asked.

“Um, no onions. Please. I can’t stand onions. Just the smell of them makes me nauseous.”

He smiled again. His voice came out smooth and soft, “You can just pick off what you don’t want, how’s that?”

I started to reply, but I didn’t get a chance. He was already on his way to the counter. He was probably right, though. I could pick them off.

When he came back, Nathan brought drinks. I took a couple sips of the one he set in front of me. Diet Coke. Blech.

“Most girls I know drink Diet. Figured you probably do too, since, you know . . . ”

“What?” I asked, puzzled how someone could assume something like that. I took another sip out of nervousness.

“Because,” he said, leaning back in his seat, “you’re pretty damn hot.”

I choked, literally started choking. He laughed. “You okay? Do I need to do CPR?”

My hand went to my chest as I somehow managed to compose myself. “I’m fine. It’s just—I’m not used to all the compliments. How about we talk about something else?”

He leaned forward, his eyes trying to seduce mine. “They’re all true, you know. Everything I’ve said about you. I feel like I’ve won the lottery. A million dollar lottery.”

Now I laughed. I couldn’t help it. I held my hand out like a
crossing guard trying to protect innocent children from being run over. “Nathan, seriously. Stop it!”

He leaned back, a slight grin on his face. “Okay. Fine. I’ll stop. But how will I know when it’s okay to start up again? Will you give me a signal or something?”

“How about when you find a Foo Fighters song that you can sing to me?”

He put his hands to his chest, like someone had just stabbed him. The idea clearly pained him. “No. No way. Impossible.” He raised one of his eyebrows, looking a little bit sinister. “Wait. I’ve got it. After you kiss me, anything goes. How’s that?”

“Well, that’ll probably be a—”

Before I could get the rest of the words out, he leaned across the table, took my head in his hands, and pulled me to him.

The kiss was fast. Race-car fast. But he was smooth. Like he knew what he wanted and nothing was going to get in his way. It was incredibly flattering.

Was it a good kiss? It was too quick to tell. But it was my first
real
kiss. And the way he looked at me? The way he held my hand across the table afterward? The way he made me laugh as he got up and did a jig to get the pizza when they called our number?

I couldn’t help but hope more kisses were in my future.

a little unreal

AS I PICKED THE ONIONS OFF MY PIZZA, HE ASKED ME, “SO WHY the fiery hot passion for the Foo Fighters?”

I figured there was no harm in telling him the story. Absentee parents seemed to have become as common as pesky dandelions. Besides, I didn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed about my dad the way I did about my mom or Dean. Talking about him seemed a little bit like talking about a movie star I admired from afar.

“I never knew my dad. He left before I was born, and my mom hated talking about him. So she never did. Whenever I asked, she simply told me he left us and I was better off without him.

“One day five or six years ago, I was helping my mom put away groceries and she was barking orders at me. My grandma had recently died, which meant my mom was the only family
I had left. I found myself thinking about my dad a lot—wondering what my life would have been like if he’d stuck around. And I don’t know why, but I suddenly had this strong desire to know something about him. Anything.

“So I held out the box of doughnuts she’d just bought and I asked her, ‘Did my dad love doughnuts as much as I do?’ Mom looked at me like I’d gone insane. Probably because my question came out of nowhere. But I didn’t let up. I begged her to tell me something about him.”

Nathan put his piece of pizza down and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Seems kind of cruel to have never told you anything about him. Why would she do that?”

I didn’t want this to be about her. Talking about my dad was one thing, talking about my mother, and her pathetic parenting skills, was a different thing entirely. I treaded carefully. “I don’t think they went out, if you can even call it that, very long. A relationship based on lust, if you will. I think, in her mind, it was just easier to write him off. Pretend he never existed.

“So, back to the original question. After lots of begging, Mom told me three things about my dad.” I ticked them off on my fingers as I went through the list. “His nickname was Buzz. His favorite movie at the time was
Clerks
. And he was a huge fan of Nirvana. Specifically, Dave Grohl, the drummer. So Dave kind of became my obsession. He’s the lead singer for the Foo Fighters now.”

Nathan picked up another piece of pizza. “So his favorite
musician became yours too? That’s . . . different. I don’t like anything my dad likes. I don’t even like the way he makes cereal.”

I took a bite of my pizza. Despite my efforts, the taste and smell of onions lingered. I wanted to spit it out, but I made myself chew. “In a way, when I listen to their music, I feel close to my dad. It’s the only thing I can share with him, you know?”

Nathan stared at me intently. I felt my cheeks get warm. “I know,” I said, looking down at my lap. “It’s weird.”

He reached over, cupped my chin in his hand, and lifted my face until our eyes met. I felt that electric buzz again. “Actually, it’s really sweet.” After a few seconds he let go and picked up his soda. “And I think you should check out my favorite band, Blue October. That way, when I’m not with you, they’ll remind you of me.”

I smiled. “Okay. I will.”

He pointed to my pizza. “Hey. You’re not eating. So, eat already. Because I sure as hell can’t eat this whole thing by myself.”

“I can still taste the onions. Sorry.” I pulled the crust off and took a bite to make him happy. He didn’t say anything. It felt like he should, though I wasn’t sure what. “Anyway, I feel like I’ve done all the talking. What about you? What do you like to do besides play baseball?”

“You mean there’s life beyond baseball?” he teased.

“I think so. Isn’t there?”

He scooted out of his seat. “I have to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

And just like that, he was gone. It was kind of weird. Maybe I was getting too personal for a first date.

I checked my phone. Alix had texted me:
HOW’S IT GOING?

I replied back:
IDK, I’M NOT GOOD W/GUYS.

Her response:
YOU ARE SO! TOO SOON TO GIVE UP K?

When Nathan returned, he stood at the table and pulled out a pack of gum. He offered me a piece. “You ready to go?”

That’s it? Date over?
I figured I’d messed up big-time. I’d talked too much and, in the process, scared him away. It was probably for the best, although a small part of me felt disappointed. Maybe with more time, we could have smoothed out the awkward bumps between us.

“Oh. Sure.” I stood up, not sure of the protocol in this situation. “Uh, thanks for the pizza. I guess I’ll see you—”

“No, no.” He shook his head and smiled. “I’m not ready to let you go home yet. I thought maybe we could drive around and you could show me the town.”

I looked outside. “In the dark?”

He leaned in and whispered in my ear. “Yes. Just the way I like it.”

I don’t think I’d ever felt such a roller coaster of emotions. One minute he left me breathless, the next I wanted to dump the disgusting diet soda all over him. Did he do it on purpose, because he liked to keep me guessing? Or was he a self-absorbed
jerk and clueless about how to treat a girl? Or maybe he was a bundle of nerves, like me, and actually had no clue what he was doing.

I decided to assume the latter. After all, he
had
just moved here. Starting over, making friends, figuring out where to fit in—all of that had to be difficult.

He took my hand and led me through the parking lot to his fancy red VW Jetta with New York plates. So that’s where he was from. I hadn’t even asked him and I realized I should have.

We drove around Crestfield, and I pointed out places as we drove past. Like the park where I used to play when I was little. The library where I get most of the books I read. The middle school where Alix and I met. The flower shop where I work.

When we approached the cemetery, I told him my grandma was buried there. He turned and drove in.

“Are you hoping to scare me?” I asked.

“Rae, I’d never do something like that.” I felt his hand on my thigh. “You’re safe with me. I promise.”

Maybe it was supposed to make me feel better, but it actually caused the nerves I’d forced down earlier to come rushing back. If he wasn’t trying to scare me, what were we doing in a dark, secluded cemetery?

He followed the road that wound through the place until he eventually pulled over onto the side of a narrow lane. After he parked, he turned the engine off but kept the radio on.
Thank goodness for the dashboard lights and the soft glow from the moon, or it would have been pitch-black.

“Nathan, I don’t know . . . ”

“Don’t tell me you don’t kiss on the first date, Rae. You wouldn’t do that to a guy, would you? Besides, we already did, remember? It’s done and out of the way.” He kissed my neck. Nibbled on my ear. His warm breath gave me goose bumps. Everywhere.

“There’s nothing to worry about,” he whispered. “Okay?”

Then, as his fingers combed through my hair, his lips were on mine. Soft. Warm. Nice. He tasted good. Sweet, like Coke and bubble gum.

And so it went. Music playing. Us kissing. My heart beating wildly. Every once in a while, he’d tell me how beautiful I was. The most beautiful girl he’d ever known, he said once.

I couldn’t believe it was happening. A guy actually liked me. Everything else that had happened between us faded away, and all that remained was the warmth and attraction. Kissing him was like nothing I’d ever felt before. I felt alive and special. Extraordinary, even. And that feeling, it was something I wanted to wrap around myself, like a soft shawl, and wear forever.

Finally, totally out of breath, and not sure how much longer it could go on before clothes started coming off, something I definitely wasn’t doing on a first date, I managed to find my voice.

“I should, uh, get home,” I said. I stroked his cheek, liking
how the stubble felt on my hand. He was so incredibly good looking.

He twirled a lock of my hair around his finger, seeming to be fascinated with it. “What if I don’t want you to go?”

I smiled. “I think you’re supposed to push those feelings down, be the gentleman I know you can be, and take me to my car anyway.”

His hands dropped to his lap and he leaned back into the leather seat with a big sigh. “Yeah. But that’s no fun.”

“No. But I really should go,” I said softly. “I’m sorry.”

He nodded and started the car. We didn’t say anything on the ride back. I could feel the attraction between us lingering, could almost see it, shimmering, in the darkness. I didn’t want to lose it, but I wondered, would it still look the same, feel the same, tomorrow in the daylight?

When we pulled into the Mushroom’s parking lot, I felt butterflies in my stomach. What came next? I wasn’t sure, except that I somehow had to get out of his car and into my own. And I should probably say something before I did that.

“Thanks. That was . . . fun.”

He leaned in and kissed me. “Yeah. It was. Can I call you later?”

“Uh, okay. Sure.”

We pulled out our phones and exchanged numbers. As I was keying his in, he said, “You’re going to delete any other guys you have in there, right?”

“Sorry, what was that?” I asked.

“Any other guys. Their numbers. You’ll delete them?”

I shook my head, still not entirely clear I was following him. “There, uh, aren’t any other guys. I mean, no one—”

He chuckled. “Okay, good. I wasn’t sure. I mean, Santiago told me you were available, but . . . I never really asked you if there was anyone else. It’s just, I think we’re good together, you know?”

I was so confused about what all of this meant. Why would he ask me to delete people in my phone after one date? Did all guys do that? Maybe I was supposed to feel flattered that he wanted me all to himself.

He kissed me again, quickly, and said, “Good night, Rae. Thanks for a good time.”

I got out of the car as I said, “Bye.”

He waved and took off, while I stood there, both excited and terrified about what had just happened with Nathan Sharp.

really and truly

ALL THAT KISSING MADE ME HUNGRY. OF COURSE, THREE BITES of pizza isn’t much of a dinner, either. Nathan called me as I was inhaling a peanut butter sandwich. I let it go to voice mail because I just wanted to eat and go to bed. When I played back the message, it said, “I was hoping to hear your voice one more time. Hopefully tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Rae.”

I went to bed feeling dazed and confused.

On Sunday, Nathan called me three times. The first time, we didn’t say a whole lot, and it was pretty awkward. I hung up worried that last night’s magic had been lost forever. He must have been worried too, because he called back a little while later and asked me questions about English. He also had Ms. Bloodsaw for a teacher, though in a different period. The conversation went much better that time. The third time he called, he spent twenty minutes telling me
about his old school and all the friends he’d left behind and missed.