Read FALLING: The Negative Ion Series Online
Authors: Ryanne Anthony
Still
CN U 2mrw?
I smirk at the text then sigh. I better get this over with.
Yeah. Same time?
Galaxy Music p
arking lot. 11. C U then. Good night.
Good night.
It felt forced and clinical. I think this is not good at all and I really do not want to see him. I place my hand over my womb and know that I have to, for his or her sake.
Black… a week to go
I arrived in the parking lot early, determined to find out what was wrong with
Jaxen. As I sat in the car, I felt strange and had a feeling I shouldn’t be there. I had an overwhelming sense of dread. Finally, I saw the band’s van pull up. The other four members, after an initial glance in my direction, turned away and disappeared into the music store. They didn’t wave, smile or acknowledge me. Not good.
Finally,
Jaxen jumped out and walked toward me. I got out the car and met him halfway.
“
Jaxen, I have a couple things I need to tell you.”
“Save it,
Kimber,” Jaxen smirked. “There’s nothing left for us to talk about.”
“What?”
I gasped.
“We’re done.”
My ears started ringing and my stomach was flipping around to the beat of my rapid heart. “
WHAT
?!”
“This isn’t working out for me anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I had
some fun but now I’m… I’m just bored. I need to move on. Surely you know that I need to keep the rotation going.”
“Rotation?”
I blink. What?
“Yeah. You’ve been occupying all my time. My other bitches are complaining and I am so sick of hearing it. Everyo
ne wants a turn and they have a point: you’ve been occupying a lot of my time lately.”
My throat burned and I
tried to swallow the pain that was burning like fire. No… no… this was not happening, I thought as I grip my hair.
“Okay, wait… let’s just breathe and--,”
I said and reached out and gripped the sides of Jaxen’s shirt, trying to pull him closer.
“Wait for what,
Kimber? I thought I was being clear. What is it you’re not understanding?” Jaxen asked with an impatient sigh as he tugged my hands away. “Seriously. What the fuck don’t you get?”
The tears
couldn’t be checked anymore. Jaxen, the guy he was before we got together, was back. The changing was no longer happening. He was back to being the uncaring asshole I knew and stupidly wanted to be with. Love? No, not this guy. Still… I found myself begging him.
“You don’t love me anymore? Did I do something? Tell me, Red. Tell me so I can change into what you want! Please… just don’t… don’t do this to u
s! I love you!”
Jaxen
sighed again and looked away from me, looking thoughtful but determined. My heart fluttered as I waited for his next words.
“I don’t
do love. You knew that in the beginning because among other things, Samantha repeatedly warned you. Well, I love things… my beer. My weed… giving tats… and riding my bike. I like banging on my drums and having a different bitch suck me off after every show or in my tat cubicle. Since I’ve been fucking around with you, that hasn’t happened. I miss it and I want it all back and I can’t have it if you’re sitting around at every measly gig I get, every tat I give, scaring off potential fuck buddies!”
What the fuck is this?
He loved me! He said it! He cried in my arms, begging not to give up on us and stay with him. I did and, against my better judgment, I caved and agreed to stick with him. Love him.
As I tried to form the words,
Jaxen lowered his stance and caught and held my gaze, his hazel eyes boring deep into mine.
“Are you getting it now,
Kimber? I don’t want to be with you anymore. I got what I wanted and now I’m bored. I’ve already changed my cell number and I promise you’ll never get my new number.”
“Ready, baby?” A woman cooed to his left, her hand rubbing his chest as she frowned at
me. I blinked as I looked in the woman’s face and gasped.
“
Camille Hogan?” I croaked. “You’re back with her?
That’s
the type of woman you want?”
“I’m not
with
anyone,” Jaxen smirked. “I want pussy. Pussy that will fuck me and do it right. I don’t have time to teach you how to do that.” He turned to look at Camille with the dirtiest grin I’d ever seen. “I bet you’d drop to your knees and blow me in this parking lot right now, wouldn’t you?”
“Mmm… you know it, baby,”
Camille purred back, her hand rubbing his erection through his jeans. Slowly she reached inside and gripped him. “I’m ready right now,” Camille purred again, biting at his jaw.
My heart stopped beating
. In front of me?
NO!
NO! NO!
“We have a gig tonight, let’s not get me arrested. I’ve got the band’s van and you can take care of me in there. Go get naked and I’ll be along in a minute,”
Jaxen grinned, chirping the remote on the black van with
Negative Ion
scrawled in white letters on the side.
Camille
kissed him full on the mouth and he swatted her ass as she hurried to the van. I involuntarily took a step back and my mouth went dry and I finally realized that my jaw went south of my face. This was real. Jaxen and I were really over.
“I trusted you. You… said… you,”
I gasped. “You said you loved me!”
“I say what I have to in order to get what I want
and get needs met. Hey, we all have to sacrifice once or twice, right?” Jaxen shrugged. “I’d never been with a virgin before. I got curious. Sue me. Look, I have to go. I hate to keep my dick waiting. Good luck in Cambridge and have a safe flight when you leave.”
Anger roiled inside me. I
felt hurt, confused, baffled and tortured. How could he? He wanted my virginity so bad that he had to lie and make me fall in love with him to give it to him? What type of shit is that? God, I am so stupid! I reached out and with as much might I could, I slapped him. It felt good, but nowhere near enough.
“
FUCK YOU
!” I shouted in a choked cry then, blinded by tears, ran to the car. I got inside and shook as I tried to start it. I finally gave up and beat the steering wheel before collapsing on it and crying uncontrollably.
How could
I have been so stupid? I fell for the oldest trick in the book, the same one Mom fell for. I sobbed again at the thought of Mom. Shauna Marie Kessler would not like what I would have to tell her, but I need her now more than ever. I have so much to consider and I have no idea where to start, let alone what to do.
“I’m pregnant, Red,”
I sobbed in my hands. “I’m pregnant. Don’t make me do this alone!”
I don’t know how long I sat there when a knock sounded on the passenger door. I startled, and knowing I must look a complete disaster, I looked up and jump
ed at the person glaring in.
“Unlock the door,
Itsy.”
I shook my head and sniffed hard. I peeked up and saw the band’s van was gone and wondered why and how he was still here.
“Come on, let me in!”
“Go away, Stanley!” I shouted.
“I have nothing to say to anyone in your band ever again.” I then raised my shirt and unscrewed the belly ring. I rolled down the window enough to toss the damn thing out the window and took off. I wanted to get drunk. Nasty, filthy, dirty, disgusting drunk. I even pulled into the lot at a liquor store and as I was about to get out of the car, I remembered the baby. I threw my head back and sighed. I would have to suffer this turmoil sober.
I started the car
again and went home. Silently, I went inside and heard conversation coming from the downstairs room Daddy claimed as his office. I walk over and leaned against the door jamb, watching Mom sitting on Daddy’s lap as he rubbed her ever-expanding belly. That’s going to be me soon. The expanding belly but without the loving man to support me.
“But,
sweetie, I like Samuel and Samona. What’s wrong with it?”
“Kitten, Samuel III? Don’t you think that’s a little much?”
“No, I don’t. Samona Amelia Forrest and Samuel Ashton Forrest III. There, done. Easy as A-B-C,” Mom giggled.
“I like those, Kitten.”
“So do I,” I murmur.
“Good! Then we’re all agreed,” Mom laughed as she looked up. “I’m so glad it’s unanimous.
Itsy--”
Mom jumped off daddy’s lap and rushed over to me. Daddy stood immediately and followed her, each standing on my sides. I enclosed my arms around my father and cried into his chest as Mom gently rubbed my head and Daddy rubbed my back.
“What’s wrong, honey? What happened? Are you hurt? Bleeding? Were you in an accident?”
“No, Mom,” I sniff. “I need to talk to you and Daddy. Right away.”
Daddy walked me into the office and sat with me on a couch as Mom closed the door then poured a glass of water. I gratefully drank it even though I tasted my tears more than I did that water.
“Mom, do you still have that letter for my scholarship?”
“Yes, I do. I believe it’s in the file cabinet, honey. Why? Are you thinking of accepting it?”
I nod, another tear falls. “I have to go away.”
Daddy tightens his arms around me. “Why, honey?”
“
Jaxen dumped me,” I wailed. “He dumped me because he missed his old life and I was standing in the way of him and fun. He
did
lie to me! He said he loved me and he got me to love him and I-I-I… I gave him me! I gave him my virginity because I thought he loved me as much as I loved him!”
“Oh, honey,
” Mom cried as she held me.
“What’s this fucker’s address? I’m going to kill him!”
“Sam, no! I can do it legally!”
“You can’t do it legally, K
itten! I need to do this! That bastard hurt my baby girl and I need to string him by the balls!”
“No, Daddy! Neither of you will hurt him. I’ll get over him in time but in order to start, I need to go away. I can’t stay here with him in the same town and get over him. It hurts too
badly.”
“Honey,” Mom said. “If you go to Harvard, we won’t be there. You cannot go alone. I won’t be able to rest if you do. Please, reconsider.”
I sniff. “I won’t be alone for long, Mom.”
“Who’s going with you?” Daddy frowned.
“My baby.”
Sigh
Not a good time.
I’m gutted and the morning sickness is kicking my fucking ass.
School starts in a week and I hate it here.
I’
m sad.
Pitiful.
L
onely.
So, so
tired.
And I miss him more every day.
Try me next chapter.
Go away
.
Sorry.
Go away,
please
.
And breathe… Just Breathe
“Ms. Forrest, you’re late.”
“Sorry, Professor Charles,” I puff. “I had a tough time getting up the stairs.”
My Civil Procedure p
rofessor eyes my huge belly with a smirk. “I bet you did. Come and sit. Let’s talk.”
I wobbled over and drop in a chair in front of his desk.
I am almost done. A few precious weeks left, and I will be a mother. I can hardly wait to get my body back and kiss my son all over his little face.
Yep, it’s a boy
, just like I thought.
“So, Ms. Forrest, I believe you
r email stated you are due very soon and want to know if you can do work while you’re on leave. Is that correct?”
“Yes, Professor,
” I nod then blink. Oh God… please let this kid stop kicking me soon.
“I’m not sure that’s fair to the other students. I don’t like to give preferential treatment
and I’m sure some will regard that request as such.”
“With all due respect, sir, I’m not asking for any. I am required to take
eight weeks off and in the interim, I have no wish to fall behind my classmates. I will do my work and then some to stay on track with the class. All of my classes.”
“And if you don’t, Ms. Forrest?”
“Sir, ‘don’t’ is not an option for me.”
“How do you intend to keep up with the class if you’re caring for a newborn?”
“I have help. I have a woman that’s been helping me and she’s assured me she’s not going anywhere. She will help take care of my son while I study. I intend to give my class work the same amount of time and patience I give to it now. I’m not behind on anything and I don’t plan to fall behind during my leave.”
He studies me, disbelief all over his face. “I will grant your request but if you miss an assignment,
even one, Ms. Forrest, I will fail you.”
“I understand, sir,
” I puff, trying to hide the fact that my son just kicked the living shit out of me again.
“Check your email tomorrow
afternoon, Ms. Forrest. I will have your assignments ready and will expect the work back via email by noon on their due dates, no exception.”
“Yes, sir.”
“You are excused.”
I clumsily stand and leave his office as fast as I can. As soon as I get to the door, my new friends,
Myra and Kylie, run up to me.
“Well?”
I smile. “It’s good, Myra. He was the last holdout and even though I was late getting to his office, he agreed.”
“Yay! Good!” Kylie grins. “And you can count on us,
Kimber. When little man gets here, we’ll help. Diapers, papers, whatever.”
“You guys are the best,” I grin then start wobbling to the
stairs. “Is that nacho stand still open?”
“Again,
Kimber?”
“Yes,
Myra! I need them. And a tall glass of pineapple juice.”
“Remind me to never get pregnant, guys,” Kylie says as her face scrunches.
“Oh, don’t forget, Kimber,” Myra nudges. “Baby shower tomorrow night, your place at seven.”
“I remember,
Myra. Don’t forget the KFC. Potato wedges, not mashed potatoes!”
“Fine, KFC!”
“Thank you, my lovely!” I grin.
We walked to the
snack stand, got my nachos with beef and smothered in melted cheese then Kylie drove to a store. I ate my nachos as I waited to pay for the pineapple juice, and ended up with 20 bucks worth of chocolate, too. Kylie and Myra cracked up at me.
The girls gave me a ride home and after seeing me inside, they kissed my swollen face and left. Hilda, Heidi’s twin, came in soon after with groceries and scowled and my chocolate stash. She immediately went to the kitchen and poured me a tall glass of milk, standing over me until I drank it all with my iron
and multi-vitamin pills.
I had my shower,
dressed then sat in front of my laptop and Hilda told me to sit there and relax while she fixed dinner and I readily agreed. I was exhausted. Thank God this was the last day before Winter Break. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be going back when school started back in a few weeks because my doctor was 99% sure I would deliver early. Fine with me. Junior has been really kicking my ass lately and I have his eviction notice all ready.
I was just falling asleep when a knock sounded on my door. I told Hilda I’d answer it and started my five minute
routine to get me off the couch. I finally got up giggling and went over and flung open the door, certain it would be Kylie or Myra again. I was wrong.
“What. The.
Fuck
?!”
“Roland? Wha-what are you doing here?”
I gasped, making a poor attempt to hide my huge belly behind the door.
“I came to… wow… fuck
, you are really huge!”
“Roland! Why are you here?”
He continued to stare at me, mouth gaped and wide-eyed.
I snapped my fingers in his face. “ROLAND
!
FOCUS
!”
“
Huh? Um, well, I was in the neighborhood and thought you’d like to see an old friend.”
“In the neighborhood? You live
3,000 miles away!”
“My grandmother lives here, remember?
She’s about a mile from away.”
“Right. Okay, so how did you know to find me here?”
He grinned and shrugged. “I was at your mother’s, wanting to gobble a baby cheek when my eye caught your Christmas card to them. I memorized the address, knowing I was flying out for the holidays. Surprise, Merry Christmas!”
“Christmas is a week away
, Roland,” I smirk.
“Never too early,
Itsy,” Roland laughs then holds up mistletoe. “So invite me in, give me a kiss and let’s talk.”
I
roll my eyes and beckon him in then wobble to the couch and plop down. Roland sits in a chair next to me and juts his chin.
“
Jaxen?”
I nod.
“You heard about his band?”
“Yeah. Good for them. They should be pretty big.
‘Me’ sounds pretty good and it’s getting a lot of play around here.”
“
Not just here. All over the country. Parker isn’t working at the firm with your father. He’s their manager.”
I nod again and put my head down.
“Mom told me. I was surprised to hear that.”
“Why?
Samantha’s his sister and in a few months, they’ll be related.”
“I guess it’s just me
Jaxen hates.”
“Hates? You think
Jax hates you?”
A tear
falls and I wipe it away. “I honestly don’t know what he feels. He kept saying he loved me. Gave me a whole show of appearing to fall apart when I tried to break it off with him early. Then he says he only said he loved me because he wanted my virginity.”
A low
whistle escapes Roland. “Parker did a good job.”
I look up confused. “With what?”
“Protecting you. I had no idea you were still a virgin at your party. You certainly didn’t kiss like one.”
“Shut up,” I grin to hide a blush. “I was.
Jaxen was my first. Look what that did.”
Roland gives me a thoughtful head tilt.
“He doesn’t know does he?”
“No and I want to keep it that way.”
“Why?”
“He knew he was going to get signed and he dumped me so he could live the rock star life style.
Far be it for me to intrude on his dreams and desires. He can make more babies later.”
Roland shook his head.
“Not fair, Itsy.”
“Yes, it is. He made his choice when he dumped me.”
“What choice? He didn’t, rather doesn’t, know about the pregnancy. I doubt he would have dumped you if he knew.”
“So what then? We marry
for the baby’s sake and spend a few years hating each other for it? Him hating me because he has a wife and kid he doesn’t love or want and me hating him for making me fall for him and being stuck in a marriage with a man who hates and resents me and continually cheats on me? Who would that life be good for Roland?”
“No one
, but you have no idea if any of that would have happened.”
“I do know. You didn’t see his face, hear his words when he was breaking up with me.
And that fucking girl.”
“What
fucking girl?” Roland frowns.
“Camille Hogan.”
He shrugs. “What about her?”
“When he was breaking up with me, she was there,” I sniff. “He ki
ssed her, right in front of me and her hand went down his pants and he told her to get in the van and get naked. I slapped him and left.”
Roland looks at me pensively for a while. I look at him and wait for his next question. Instead, he shakes his head and shrugs.
“Okay, so what’s the plan for dinner tonight?”
“
My companion Hilda is cooking my favorite.”
“Is it still
beef fajitas?”
I grin and nod, hiding the fact that I’m extremely surprised
… and flattered… he remembered. I doubt if Jaxen ever knew my favorite food. “With a ton of sour cream.”
“She any good?”
“The best. But don’t tell Heidi I said that.”
Roland stared at me for a long minute then sighed.
“Your secrets are safe with me.”
“Thank you,” I smiled with tears in my eyes.
“Then you can stay for dinner.”
He gives me a bright smile. “I accept. Sharing one of those Hershey
bars? I’ll take one with almonds.”
“Fuck no! Touch my chocolate and you will hurt in the worst place imaginable.”
He stared at me, in total shock again as he crossed his legs. “Damn. Fine, woman. Keep your chocolate! I like my dick.”
I giggled at that then called out to Hilda, letting her know Roland was our guest. After she confirmed she heard, I turned back to Roland.
“So what have you been up to?”
“Nothing much. Working, babysitting
Samantha.”
“Babysitting?”
“Yeah, Parker keeps busy with the band. You know… uh… hmm.”
“What?”
His head tilts as he face frowns. “It’s only your parents that know about the baby, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I was so embarrassed
when he broke up with me that I couldn’t... I told Mom and Daddy the day after it was confirmed, right after the break up. Jaxen dumped me before I could tell him.”
Roland nods then leans forward. “You missed a lot when you left. Fighting, mostly. Your parents didn’t tell you any of it, did they?”
I shake my head. “Who was fighting?”
“
Jax… and everybody else.”
Now it’s my turn to frown. “What do you mean
‘everyone else’?”
“
I heard what Jaxen said to you to end things. The day you left, I mean… okay, I believe your parents dropped you at the airport, then went straight to the Malloy’s house.”
“My parents
did?”
“Yeah. We were all there: the band,
Park, Jax, his parents and sisters, me, all cleaning out what was left of Samantha’s things. We were fucking around, making fun of Jax and Stan, both of them were glaring at one another and brooding. No one in the band would speak up as to what the problem was. Then the bell started ringing like there was an emergency and we all hurried to the door. Your father was standing in front of your very pregnant mother, trying to hold her back, while she ranted and started shouting out Jax’s full name then snarled his Miranda rights when he went to the front of the crowd and faced her.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Damn right, ‘oh shit’. Jax quietly stood in front of Shay and your mother started in on him right away. She was so angry, your father and Sara were begging her to calm down, to think of the babies.”
‘
I can’t, Sam! Sara, I swear I want to but your fucking son hurt my baby and drove her away.’
‘
What are you talking about, Shauna?’ Sara frowned. ‘Drove her away where?’
‘
She’s starting Harvard in the fall! My baby was in so much pain, she couldn’t stay here! She’s already gone! We’re all here and she’s in fucking Massachusetts! Alone!’
‘
What?’ Jaxen asked. ‘She actually left?’
‘
What the fuck did you expect her to do, Jaxen? How the hell did you expect her to stay and look at you after the shit you said to her?!’
‘
Shauna, calm down, please,’ John said. ‘What did he say to her?’
‘
Your bastard son told her he never loved her; that he only said it because he was curious about being with a virgin!’