FALLING: The Negative Ion Series (16 page)

“
A loud gasp went around the room then total silence as everyone stared at Jaxen. I’m telling you, it was a loud deafening silence. Then came the knuckle crack.”

“Kn-knuckle crack?”

Roland nodded. “Jaxen got cracked one across the jaw.”

“What?!” I gasped. “By who?”

“First--”

“First?” I screeched. “There was more than one?”

“Oh, yeah. First it was Stanley, then John. I mean his own father… he just blew. Everyone started screeching and shouting at Jax; started telling him how stupid and ignorant he was and he just stood there, nodding like he was agreeing with everything they were saying about him. I wanted a crack at that jaw but Parker… shit, that guy loves his sister because, despite being engaged to Jax’s sister, he silently crossed the room and beat the shit out of him. Jax meekly fought back but didn’t land one blow, like he wasn’t even trying.

“
Only someone that seemed to protest to the fight was Sara but I think that was a motherly thing. The rest of us were keeping them from breaking anything in the house. Jax deserved that ass whipping but finally, I had enough of hearing the blows land and got Ren to help me get Parker off of him.”

Despite my hatred toward
Jaxen, I actually started weeping for him, imagining Parker beating on him and Jax not hitting back, just taking the blows.

“Why wouldn’t he fight back?”

“I don’t know. He just wouldn’t. He took those blows and when we got Parker off of him, he got himself up, glared at Samantha for a minute then quietly walked away, bruised and bloodied. I didn’t see him again until a month later, his bruises were healing but he was still fucked up. He showed up at our house with the band, apologizing about his words with you and asked Parker to be the band’s manager. Shocked Samantha and me when Parker agreed right away. Parker said he only did it so that he could keep an eye on that guy, especially around any other virgins.”

I carefully
and quietly listened to Roland because I was shocked beyond belief. My brother beat up my ex-boyfriend. Over me. Wow.

“I ca
n’t say Jaxen didn’t deserve it,” I whisper.

“Neither can I.”

I nod then sigh. Hilda comes in then and says dinner is on the table. I giggle trying to get up then Roland comes over and offers his hand. I grip it and stand with ease. It’s good to have a man around.

W
e walk to the dining room and as soon as I sit down, I start in on my dinner. I ate until I couldn’t breathe, much to the entertainment of Roland.

“Damn,” he laughed. “I think you ate more this meal than you have the entire time I’ve known you.”

“It’s ridiculous,” I say with a mouth full of food. I giggled then properly chewed and swallowed. “I cannot stop eating. Trust me, it wasn’t easy in the beginning. I couldn’t stomach water at first then overnight it was like, gimme food! Gimme all the food!”

“That’s a greedy little fucker in there, huh?” Roland laughs then stops as he stares at my belly.

“What?”

He shakes his head and takes a bite of his fajita.
I put my food down and glare. Roland catches my glare and sighs.

“Let’s finish dinner,
Itsy.”

We finish in silence then Hilda clears the table then brings me my chocolate milkshake. It’s become a nightly thing. I have to have a chocolate milkshake every night after dinner. Usually I sit up in bed and watch TV while enjoying the shake then do some schoolwork. Since school is out for the holidays, I planned to just be in bed, vegging out on the cold, chocolaty goodness and the TV. Then Roland showed up and I decided to have my shake in the living room.

I sat in the same spot and propped my feet up on the coffee table. Roland sat on the other end of the couch and smiled as he watched me devour my shake. I softly smiled when I caught his expression.

“What’s with that look, Roland?”

“I was just wondering how I would feel if I found out a girl was carrying my kid and didn’t tell me.”

“You’d feel good,” I smirked. “Especially if you
’re dumped in the middle of a mall parking lot so you can travel the world and become famous.”

“I don’t know about that,
Itsy. No matter how the mother and I broke up, the fact remains it’s still my kid.”

“So?”

“So, a child needs a father, Itsy.”

“My son won’t need for anything, Roland.”

“Son?”

“Yeah, I’m having a bo
y. January 14th… or sometime around that day.”

Roland shook his head and slid over to me.

“You have to tell him, Itsy,” he said softly. “It’s a son. A
son
. A boy needs his father. Well, any child needs a father, boy or girl. Jaxen has to know, make his own decisions. Don’t make this decision for him.”

I slammed my shake on the table and glared at him.

“When did I make this or any decision for him, Roland? When did I decide for him to dump me and walk out of my life? When did I decide for him to tell me that he changed his number and I would never have his new number? When did I decide it was okay to lie about loving me, taking my virginity then swap slob what that tramp Camille in my face?”

“
Please calm down, Itsy. He should know about your pregnancy. Regardless of whether he wanted you or not, he put a child inside you. A son. He deserves to at least know and if he’s an ass about it then so be it. You guys will be related soon and I promise Samantha and Parker are forever. I don’t see either of them ever moving on from the other, ever breaking up. Which means…”

“Nothing, Roland,” I shake my head. “It means nothing at all.”

“Are you planning to keep your son away from any children they have?”

“No,” I frowned. “But what--”

“Jaxen will be their kids’ uncle, you their aunt and this little guy,” he places his hand on my belly, “This little guy will be their kids’ cousin. Jax is bound to run into this child sooner than later and then what?”

“Again, nothing. What could he do?”

Roland sighs. “Itsy, Itsy, Itsy…”

“What?!” I shout.

“This child will look
something
like the Malloys. There will be something that will give it away. Then what? Are you going to lie to Jax? Are you going to lie to Samantha, John, Sara, and Macy? Are you going to deny your son his grandparents and aunts because his father was a dick to you?”

I let a tear fall then, completely hating that he was right.

“I don’t want Jaxen anywhere near my son.”

“He’s
the son of both of you.”

“
Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you know how hard it’s been to be here growing with his baby? I love him and no matter what I do or say it won’t fucking go away,” I sob.

Roland puts his arms around me and holds me until I calm, rubbing my shoulder and arm while I gripped his neck and cried on his chest. I had not cried over
Jaxen in months and now here it was, fresh and ripe and eating through me like acid. I can’t tell Jaxen. I refuse to. He doesn’t deserve to know. Does he?

Roland gave me some tissue and I wiped my face.

“I should have made you try with me after that kiss we had.”

“You wouldn’t have had to make me,
Itsy,” Roland sighs. “I was respecting your wishes when I kissed you.”

“You still wanted me, Roland?”

He nods. I frowned. I didn’t think there was anything there. Well, there was something in that kiss. Just no heat. Not like it was with Jaxen.

“What about that girl?”

“What about her?”

“Wasn’t it serious?”

“No,” he laughs. “It was fresh and I never had a steady girlfriend so I decided why not? She was such a shrew and I have no idea why I decided to try it with her. I think that’s why I asked you for that kiss. I think it was my way of confirming that I did not have any real feelings for that girl. I think… no, I know I had some for you.”

So did I, but that brother of mine wouldn’t let
a relationship between us happen. Good thing? I look down at my belly. Maybe. I sigh and grab my shake. “It’s a moot point now.”

“Yeah. Moot,” Roland whispers. “Still, you should tell
Jax. Give him a chance to do the right thing, Itsy.”

I stare in my cup and stir my shake. I knew this was coming and I dreaded it the day I would have to tell
Jaxen about the baby.

“He may not want to do the right thing. Or his idea of the right thing may not be the same as yours and mine.”

“Whatever his idea is, it’s gotta be made and expressed by him. Not you, not me, not your parents and not his. Him.”

This guy is really starting to irk me with being right all the damn time.

“I don’t want to have to call all his parents or sisters to get to him, Roland. I don’t even have his number.”

“I do. It’s in my cell.”

I nod then watch as Roland stands and holds out his hand.

“What?
” I frown. He reaches down and grabs my hand, helping me up. “Where are we going?”

“Bedroom,” Roland says softly.

Holy… for what?

“Why?”

Roland tugs me through the condo, stopping at the half-bath. He closes the door quickly then moves to the guest room.

“Roland!” I gasp when
we get outside my bedroom. Does he want sex?
From me?
God, no way! I’m so pregnant and not in the mood. And this is Roland, for fuck’s sake! Not to mention that I haven’t had sex with anyone but Jaxen. This could be kinda awkward.

Roland opens my bedroom door and ushers me in. He leaves the door open when he follows me in
side and leads me to my bed. I prop up on the edge and frown at him. He presses his cell in my hand.

“
The lock code is 4922. When you’re ready to talk… if you need to, I’ll be in your living room. Take your time.”

I sit there in silence as I stare at his phone. I
’m so concentrated on the phone that I don’t even see him leave. I just jump when the door clicks to a close and I am alone with Roland’s cell, just a call away from talking to Jaxen. I had to have sat there a good twenty minutes before I even unlocked the phone. I found Jaxen’s number and held my breath as I heard the ringing. He answered on the third.

“What’s up, Ro? You still in Boston?”

I gasped. I hadn’t heard Jaxen’s voice since he dumped me. Five and a half long months ago.

“J-
Jaxen?” I stuttered.

“Yeah, who’s this? Where’s Ro?”

“He’s in my living room,” I say softly, closing my eyes.

Jaxen
’s breath caught and he was silent for a moment. Then quietly, I heard: “Itsy?”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Don’t worry, I still don’t have your number. I need to talk to you; to tell you some things. After, I’ll leave you alone and never bother you again.”

Another moment of silence passed between us as I waited for his answer.

“Okay,”
Jaxen said quietly. “Tell me what?”

“Do you remember I said I had some things to tell you before you broke up with me?”

“Yeah, Itsy, I do. You still need to tell me?”

“Roland says I do and to be honest, I wasn’t going to tell you.
After you broke up with me, I planned to keep something away from you as long as I possibly could.”

I hear a sigh from him. “Okay, I’m listening. Tell me.”

“First, saying ‘I love you’ was never a lie. I do… uh, did. I
did
. I don’t know why I said that first. I guess I just needed you to know that.”

“I never doubted that,
Itsy,” Jaxen replied quickly. “I still don’t.”

“Okay. Well the other thing is I didn’t do it on purpose,
it was a complete accident, but the day before you broke up with me… I um… I sorta… well, that is… I found out… okay… um…”

“Just spit it out,
Itsy,” Jaxen sighed, exasperated. “Nothing will change, no matter what you say.”

“I think it will,” I tearfully whisper. “I know it will. Everything will and I want you to know that I am not expecting anything from you. Roland insisted you needed to know.”

“Okay, tell me.”

“Okay.
” A tear fell and I wiped it away. “Jaxen?”

“Yes,
Itsy?”

“I’m… uh…”

“What, Itsy? What are you?”

I inhale and on the exhale, I murmur, “Pregnant.”

I heard a gasp and then silence.

“By me?”
Jaxen finally asks.

I wanted to call him an
asshole. Who else? Dammit. I guess he could assume this recently happened by another man but why would I call him with the news? He doesn’t want me and made that quite clear. What I do in my life with my body is not his concern anymore.