Far From Home (28 page)

“Maybe you’re just reading into it.”

“You never liked her, so don’t start defending her now.” 

“I’m not defending her,” I said softly.

“The moment she realized I had nothing to give her, she left.  I came home tonight to a completely empty house.  Not even a note or anything.  She just vanished.  She never wanted me.  She only wanted money.”

“Oh, Jesse,” was all I could muster through the lump forming in my throat.

“You were right,” he said as his voice cracked again and I saw his eyes shut tightly. “You knew she was worthless from the moment you met her, but I defended her. I got mad at you for even questioning why she’d decided to finally be a mom.  But, you were right the whole time and I wouldn’t listen to anything you said.”

“You can’t do this to yourself,” I said, knowing all too well how he was feeling.  It was just like when I’d been with Alex.  Jesse had warned me about him.  He’d said Alex was bad news and I’d chosen to ignore him because I knew better.  And while our situations were very different, we both knew how it felt to be betrayed by someone we thought loved us.  It was a feeling I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

“I was so stupid,” he said quietly, shaking his head.

“No, you weren’t,” I said quickly, wrapping my arms around him as he buried his face in my neck. “She’s your mom.  You wanted to believe her.  I would’ve done the same thing.  You can’t beat yourself up though.”

“She didn’t want me,” he said and he started sobbing. “She didn’t want me again.  She left me again.”

I pulled him closer as I cried with him, my body aching for him, wishing I could take the pain from him.  He didn’t deserve this.  He’d been through enough.  His dad had died and left him with more burdens than any eighteen-year-old deserved and now his mom had abandoned him again.  Jesse was strong, but this was too much. 

“Am I that worthless?  So worthless my own mother can leave me twice?” he cried, his words almost inaudible through the sobs.  I held him for a moment more as his words pierced through me and then I pulled back, turning his face to look at me and I stared hard into his sad, gray eyes. 

“You.  Are.  Not.  Worthless.” My voice was stern and serious as I said each word. “You are the most worthwhile person I have ever met.  You are amazing and I am so privileged to know you and love you and I’m even more privileged to have you love me back.  You have so much to offer this world, Jesse Dean Baylor, and nothing is going to stop you.  Yes, you’ve hit a bit of a roadblock, but your dad’s death isn’t going to stop you.  He was so proud of you and he’s going to be even more proud of who you will become.  And your mom isn’t going to stop you either.  As far as I’m concerned, she’s missed out on the last sixteen years getting to know her incredible son…the son that was incredible despite her.  The son who will become even more incredible despite her.  I want to hate her, but I can’t hate her because without her, I wouldn’t have you.”

He smiled timidly and I couldn’t help but think of the little boy in the pictures.  Here he sat before me now a man, and a good man at that.  He’d grown up so much over the past couple of months and even though it had been rough and seemed impossible at times, I loved him more now than I ever had and all I wanted was for him to be okay again.

“I love you, Riley,” he said softly, his fingers brushing against my cheek gently as I leaned into his touch, cupping his hand with mine. “I know this summer has sucked, but thank you for sticking by me, even when it wasn’t easy.”

“Always,” I said, as my lips brushed lightly on his cheek, lingering as I tasted the saltiness from his tears. “We’ve been through a lot from the moment we met and we’ve always gotten through it…together.  This time will be no different.”

He swallowed hard and then nodded as he pulled me to him, tightly, almost desperately before I felt him relax and I prayed he would be okay.

“I guess I should thank her,” he said a few minutes later as I dabbed at his wet cheeks with my sleeve.

“Why’s that?”

“This whole experience has cleared a lot of things up for me,” he said and I couldn’t tell if his tone was hopeful or not.

“Are you gonna be okay?” I said softly, linking our hands together.

“I’ll be fine.  I always am,” he said, but his voice seemed defeated.

We sat together, just holding hands and staring out at the pond.  It was dark now and the crickets started to chirp.  A train whistle blew in the distance and I leaned my head against his shoulder and he put his arm around me.  It was a memory I would always treasure. 

“I brought some photo albums with me,” I said quietly and he looked at me with a grateful smile. “I thought we could start putting some of those pictures away.”

“I’d like that,” he said, standing up as he held his hand out to me. I took it and he helped me up.  We held hands as we walked down the dock back to the shore. “Meet’cha back at the house.” He climbed onto the quad and tore down the road entirely too fast for my taste, but I got in my car and followed.  He was walking out of the shed, closing the door behind him after he put the quad back inside, when I pulled up. 

“It’s too damn quiet in here,” he said when we walked into the kitchen and I noticed the way he looked around, almost as if he was looking for his dad or mom or someone to appear.   It broke my heart to see the momentary hope in his eyes.

He moved into the living room and a moment later, Blake Shelton was streaming through the stereo speakers and I had to admit, it seemed to lighten the mood.  Jesse walked down the hall, disappearing into his father’s room and coming out a moment later with the box of pictures.  I saw his eyes drift to the albums and the corners of his mouth curled up into a smile. “I like the design.”

“I thought you would,” I said as we both sat down.  He started thumbing through pictures and then looked at me.

“Should these go in some kind of order?”

“That’s up to you,” I answered and he shook his head.

“Let’s just start putting them in,” he said and we each started stuffing pictures into the plastic sleeves of the albums.

“Have you had anything for dinner?” I asked, realizing it was nearly 8:30.  He’d been expecting dinner from his mom, which he’d obviously never gotten. 

“No,” he said, focusing on the pictures.

“Let me make you something,” I said and he looked up at me in obvious amusement.

“You wanna make me dinner?” he said with a light laugh. “You’ve never made me dinner
and
you don’t cook.”

“Well, tonight will be yet another first we share,” I said, placing the picture in my hand into the album and then standing up.  I started looking through the cabinets and fridge.  At least Marlene had gone to the grocery store, on Jesse’s dime, no doubt. 

“What are you gonna make?” Jesse asked as I pillaged the kitchen.

“Well, considering this is spur of the moment, I’ve gotta be creative.  However, I think I can make tuna melts and tomato soup.” I heard him chuckle and I turned to see him grinning at me, shaking his head. “That doesn’t sound okay?”

“It sounds great,” he said, smiling softly at me and I smiled back.

I gathered everything I would need and got started.

“Did you and Glenn get a lot done today?” I asked as I worked.

“Yeah,” he said softly, pausing for a moment before continuing. “He’s gonna buy out the shop.”

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him.  His face was sad and relieved all at once. 

“Is this a good thing?”

“Yes.  I can’t do it and truthfully, I don’t wanna do it.  It’s better for everyone.”

“I think you’re right,” I said gently. “You’re having a hard time though, aren’t you?”

He nodded and I waited for him to talk.

“It’s my dad’s shop, but I can’t do it.”

“I’m sorry, Jesse.”

“Don’t be sorry.  It’s a relief actually.  It’s one less thing I have to worry about.”

I turned back to the stove and flipped one of the sandwiches over while I stirred the soup. 

“Are things okay with Glenn then?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, I think they are.”

“That’s good.  Really good.”

I finished the soup and sandwiches while Jesse worked on the pictures, the only sound being the music flowing from the stereo.  I set Jesse’s plate in front of him and poured us each a glass of water before sitting down too.  I really wasn’t hungry, having eaten dinner before I came, but I didn’t want him to eat alone. 

“This is really good, Ry.  Thank you,” he said after the first bite.

“You’re welcome,” I replied and reached over and squeezed his hand. 

****

I’d tried convincing Jesse he should spend the night at my house. I didn’t think he should be alone, but he said he was fine.  I stayed until practically midnight and we got both albums filled.  It was fun listening to him tell me about the pictures as we worked and I knew he appreciated the gesture when we were done. 

When I got home, my mom was already in bed, but I changed into my pajamas and woke her to tell her about Jesse’s mom. 

“Mom,” I whispered, nudging her gently.  It took a moment, but her eyes eventually opened.

“Riley.  What is it?” she asked groggily.

“Jesse’s mom left,” I said quietly and she sat straight up.

“What?” she exclaimed quietly.

“He got home today and she was just gone.”

Even though it was dark in the room, I could see the look on her face and she looked downright pissed off. 

“What else does that poor boy have to endure?” she asked rhetorically. “Is he okay?”

“He’s pretty devastated, but I think he’ll be okay. I hope so anyway.”

“Did you ask him to sleep over here tonight?”

“I asked, but he said no.”

I heard her sigh and I saw her shake her head.

“Mom,” I said softly and her eyes met mine in the darkness. “Thank you for being a good mom.”

My eyes welled with tears and I wrapped my arms around her as I cried. I cried not for myself, but for Jesse who would never know the feeling of wrapping himself in his mother’s arms when everything else was going wrong.  He’d never known and never would know the one place that was always safe.  I did know though and I was so grateful for that.

She stroked my hair as I cried and held me until I settled down. 

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” I asked softly as she wiped my tears. 

“Of course, baby,” she said, pulling the covers back and I slid in next to her. She continued to stroke my hair, the way she used to when I’d crawl into bed with her when I was little.  I closed my eyes and eventually drifted off.

Chapter Thirty-Three

I called Jesse the next morning before we both left for work to make sure he was okay.  He sounded alright and I convinced myself he was.  I didn’t bother asking, instead I told him he was coming over for dinner at my house that night and he didn’t argue. 

When I got to work, I was glad to see Matt was the only one at the shop.  He looked happy to see me too and I tried not to look too sullen.  I was certain Matt had had enough of my drama this summer, although I figured I was actually doing him a favor since he was getting excellent practice for his future career. 

“Hey, Matt,” I said as I walked past him to put my bag away.

“How was your weekend?”

I stopped for a moment, looking around the store.  It was times like these I was glad I worked in a flower shop.  No matter what mood I was in, I always felt better surrounded by flowers. 

“It was fine,” I answered.

“You don’t seem fine.”

“I know I’ve said this before, but you’re going to make a great therapist.”

“Well, that’s a given.  We already know that.  Now, what’s going on?”

“You don’t want to hear more of my drama.”

“Actually, I do.”

I sighed and sat down on a stool behind the counter.

“Jesse’s mom left.”

“Seriously?” he asked and I could see the disbelief all over his face.

“Turns out she only came back to see if Jesse had any money from his dad’s estate he could pass her way.  When she realized he didn’t, she took off.”

I heard him breathe in deeply and then he met his eyes with mine. 

“Damn. Talk about harsh.  What the hell else is gonna happen to him?”

“I know.  It’s so messed up.”

“How is he?” Matt asked and it seemed as if he was genuinely concerned about Jesse.

“He was pretty shattered last night.”

“Understandably so.  Do you think he’ll come out of it okay?”

“I think so,” I mumbled. “I hope so, anyway.”

It grew quiet for a moment, then he looked at me again.

“And how are you holding up?”

“I just hate seeing him going through all of this.  He doesn’t deserve any of this.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Matt said softly and then paused for a moment. “I’m sorry for trying to put a positive spin on her arrival. I was way off.  You were dead on.”

“It doesn’t matter now.  You were just trying to look on the bright side of things because that’s the type of person you are.  I, on the other hand, am a glass half empty kind of girl.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” he said, even though we both knew it was.

“Where’s your mom?” I asked, changing the subject.

“In Oklahoma,” he chuckled and I knew there was a story behind the laugh.

“Oklahoma?  When did this happen?”

“When Mark decided it was okay to drive around with pot on the passenger seat of the car.”

“What?” I exclaimed and couldn’t stifle my laughter. 

“My brilliant older brother got pulled over for speeding and the cop happened to notice the bag of weed sitting beside him.”

“Your poor mom,” I said, shaking my head.

“Maybe she’ll finally realize Mark’s not just a free spirit, but a free loader ,” he said and we both started laughing at his joke. “That’s doubtful though.”

“When will she be back?”

“She says tomorrow, but who knows.  So, until then, we’re runnin’ the show.  Now get to work.  There are flower arrangements that need to be made,” he ordered in a stern voice that reminded me of a drill sergeant. “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”